We Hunted The Mammoth

In creepy Reddit megathread, thousands of women recount the first time they were perved on by a grown man

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date April 11, 2015
223 Comments on In creepy Reddit megathread, thousands of women recount the first time they were perved on by a grown man

So there’s a giant, growing, and extremely creepy megathread up on Reddit at the moment, and for once, the creepiness isn’t coming from inside the Reddit. Well, less of the creepiness is coming from Reddit than you might expect.

Yesterday, you see, a Redditor known as BA_Baracus posted a couple of simple questions to AskReddit: Women of Reddit, when did you first notice that men were looking at you in a sexual way? How old were you and how did it make you feel?

This wasn’t the first time he’d posted a question to his fellow Redditors; he’s posted a bunch, including “People of reddit with eyes that point in different directions, which one of them is usually looking at me?” and, er, “Recent rape victims of Reddit, how did it happen, and what the hell were you doing in India?” None of these questions got much of a response.

But this time, well, thousands of “women of Reddit” stepped forward to tell the horrifying yet in most cases completely unsurprising stories of the first time men started perving on them, in many cases before they were even teenagers.

Here’s a sampling of some of their stories. TRIGGER WARNING for extreme fucking creepiness.

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Men’s Rightsers discover the true villain behind the police killing of Walter Scott: His ex-wife

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date April 11, 2015
195 Comments on Men’s Rightsers discover the true villain behind the police killing of Walter Scott: His ex-wife

A makeshift memorial at the spot where Walter Scott was killed

Over on men’s rights hate site A Voice for Men, Attila Vinczer has found the true villain in the case of Walter Scott, the black man shot in the back after he ran from a white cop: Don’t blame the cop for shooting and killing a man who was no danger to him whatsoever; blame the ex-wife who simply wanted Scott to pay the child support he owed:

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A Voice for Men considers embracing a pedophile — sorry, ephebophile — they once denounced as a GQ magazine secret agent

You may recall a fellow name Albert Calabrese from Jeff Sharlet’s brilliant GQ article about A Voice for Men’s conference last summer. You may not remember the name, but you may recall one important fact about him: He thinks the age of consent should be lowered to twelve years. “I would rather err on the side of 12-year-olds having sex,” he told Sharlet, “than on the side of ruining men’s lives.”

Calabrese, a former substitute teacher, has made his own “errors,” having won himself a spot on the sex offender registry in Fayetteville, Arkansas for “Unlawful Sexual Conduct With A Minor.”

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Plate Sextonics: Your crockery-related Red Pill questions answered at last!

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date April 10, 2015
89 Comments on Plate Sextonics: Your crockery-related Red Pill questions answered at last!

Reddit’s Red Pillers are so obsessed with the idea of “spinning plates” — casually dating more than one woman at a time — that when I visit their various subreddits I sometimes feel like I’ve wandered into a convention of crockery fetishists (not that there’s anything wrong with that). You know, the sort of guys who, when they do the dishes, really do the dishes, wink wink nudge nudge.

Apparently plate-spinning can be a pretty tricky business. Here are an assortment of plate-related queries I found in the Ask The Red Pill subreddit — and my answers.

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Sad news, white ladies: Some dude on the internet won’t date you any more

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date April 9, 2015
120 Comments on Sad news, white ladies: Some dude on the internet won’t date you any more

UPDATE 9/19/18: Yes, this is the same Mark Judge who allegedly helped Brett Kavanaugh allegedly try to rape a 15-year-old girl. For more on his creepy writings and even creepier videos, see my post here.

By David Futrelle

I hope you’re happy, white ladies. You have tempted fate with your evil white lady ways, and now you will be paying the price: Some dude named Mark Judge will no longer be dating you.

To be fair, he won’t be dating white men either — he’s straight — but he seems a bit more worked up about the women.

In a post earlier this week on Real Clear Religion, Judge, a right-wing Catholic who is himself white, explained Why I Won’t Date Secular White Women. It’s really quite simple: they’re soulless sluts who don’t know how to love:

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The Las Vegas “Free Buffet” suicide and the cost of aggrieved entitlement

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date April 9, 2015
97 Comments on The Las Vegas “Free Buffet” suicide and the cost of aggrieved entitlement

John Noble posing with one of the women he was most obsessed with — John Noble with one of the women he was most obsessed with

You may have already seen the headlines, most of which were a variant on the following: MAN KILLS HIMSELF INSIDE VEGAS CASINO AFTER LIFETIME BUFFET PASS WAS REVOKED.

On Reddit’s charming FatPeopleHate subreddit, where a link to a story on the suicide garnered more than 450 upvotes, this became Fat fuck kills himself, blames it on the loss of free buffet for life.

“And nothing of value was lost,” quipped one Redditor. “Another proof that they live only for food,” added another. “Do these sound like the actions of a man who had ALL he could eat?” joked a third. You can find similarly sensitive remarks in the comments of sites ranging from Breitbart (” Please tell me this was Michael Moore!”) to the Las Vegas Sun (“Man that buffet must be to die for”).

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On Cucumbers, Carrots and Prehensile Breasts

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date April 8, 2015
56 Comments on On Cucumbers, Carrots and Prehensile Breasts

I find cucumbers to be the most romantic of all the gourds

So I’m on a couple of pickup artist email lists — I always mean to mine them for posts here but somehow never get around to even looking at the emails that pile up in my inbox.

Today, I looked. Because how could you not look at an email that opens like this:

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Pickup artistry is like waggling your penis in front of a cat, explains pickup artist who may not have ever met a cat

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date April 8, 2015
91 Comments on Pickup artistry is like waggling your penis in front of a cat, explains pickup artist who may not have ever met a cat

You definitely do not want this happening to your penis.

So over on Chateau Heartiste, Mr. Heartiste is trying to explain a highly innovative pickup strategy that you may know as “playing hard to get.”

First he tries a “fishing” metaphor, quoting from a commenter on his site who wrote:

It’s like fishing. You don’t just jerk your line out of the water as soon as you can. That’s how you get a broken line and lose an expensive lure. You jerk her in slowly letting the fish tire herself out. Once she’s sufficiently submissive then it’s time for the net.

Then, presumably, you gut her and fry her up in a pan?

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Men’s Rights Redditors unimpressed by A Voice for Men’s conference speakers, appalled by the cost

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date April 7, 2015
139 Comments on Men’s Rights Redditors unimpressed by A Voice for Men’s conference speakers, appalled by the cost

A Voice for Men's upcoming conference has it all! — A Voice for Men’s upcoming conference has it all!

So it turns out that I’m not the only one who is thoroughly underwhelmed by A Voice for Men’s lineup of conference speakers for their upcoming International Conference on Men’s Issues, By Which They Mean How Men Are Oppressed By Women’s Sexy Butts.

Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, some of the regulars are complaining that AVFM is delivering much less than it did last year, for a much higher price — with ticket prices running a steep $650, currently discounted to the high. high price of $399.

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Uppity women want to make ejaculating into someone’s coffee count as actual criminal sexual conduct

Post author By David Futrelle
Post date April 6, 2015
132 Comments on Uppity women want to make ejaculating into someone’s coffee count as actual criminal sexual conduct

erwer — John Robert Lind: Coffee adulterator

Last Thursday, John Robert Lind of Blaine Minnesota pled guilty to misdemeanor “lewd conduct” charges. Lind’s “lewd conduct?”

He repeatedly, over the course of six months, jacked off into a co-worker’s coffee, and onto her desk, when she wasn’t there.