CONTENT WARNING: People talking about Elon Musk’s penis.
I wish I knew how to quit you, Roosh Valizadeh. It’s been several years since Mr. V took shrooms, found God, abandoned his career as a pickup artist, and took up a new life as a religious fanatic. But under it all he’s still the same old Roosh — a raging misogynist and conspiracy theorist who still somehow thinks we all need to hear his thoughts on the world and all the dirty filthy sinners in it.
So here are a few little tales I found on Reddit that sound like they were directed by M. Night Shyamalan ; you’ll want to read them until their ends, as that’s where the real magic happens.
Found this on Reddit, sent to a woman by a “new age male” whose election, apparently, is quite hard.
I found this in the Not How Girls Work subreddit, though it’s more of a Not How Any of This Works meme. I feel fairly confident in saying that not a word of this strange document is true, including “and” and “the” (as Mary McCarthy might have put it).
Here’s the text in case you can’t read that not-very-well-designed meme.
Exchange Of DNA
When a man releases his life form energy within a woman, he leaves a part of his DNA information in her birth canal. She has to have a VERY strong sexually balanced energy or his energy stays imprinted inside of her. That imprint can often create illusion of a sexual addiction. When people decide to have multiple partners, it can send mixed emotional signals within their body’s vibration system/auras. Women must be careful of different energies or spiritual forces polluting their internal magnetic temple, just as men should be careful who they share their electric energy with.
They call it sexual inter-course for a reason. it’s an internal course that unites man & woman, mind with mind, spirit with spirit. This is something that a rubber can’t protect you from, because energy is behind the elements of all flesh. There’s no such thing as “friends with benefits” Nah…Intimate activity intricately entwines the energies between two people. Sex creates a powerful exchange of sexual energy between those involved. These connections, imprints & debris are left upon the mind, soul, & spirit for a long time because they’re not easily purged or cleansed.
Casual sex with multiple partners can intertwine the energies & spirits of a lot of people into your own aura if they are not severed & cleansed. You become jointed to every person with whom your partner has slept with, as well as all the partners those people had. This type of “soul clutter” can be felt by your partner’s subconscious. Even if they are completely in tune or aware of the extra-curricular sexual activities, they still are able to sense the subtle disturbances of multiple energies and/or familiar spirits that have entered causing restlessness & inner turmoil. The longer & more intimate the contact with another person, the more powerful the reinforcement & the interaction of the bond becomes, & all the more difficult A is for them to untangle & leave. Only through harmony & balance can we achieve the kingdom within, and work our way towards sexual freedom
Q 6,234 likes
Reminder Most people haven’t learned the true nature of Sexual energy with the purpose to build & rise the energy upwards as a form of conscious… more
How does something like this get more than 6000 likes? I hope most of them are ironic likes.
BONUS SEX MISEDUCATION MEME:
I think this one has been floating around for awhile.
Not to be pedantic, but there are at least three such possible “homes” in cis women, and two in cis men. Doesn’t anyone fact check their memes any more?
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The world has had enough of small penises. We need our top scientists to get to work on the problem immediately so that in the future every dick-bearing human will have a massive whanger.
Or so says this 4Channer:
Over in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, the guys don’t seem to care much for women’s speech patterns, and would probably prefer it if women didn’t (or couldn’t) speak at all.
In the Men’s Rights subreddit, someone called beginningofheaven has some very, well, strong feelings about premature ejaculation and what he calls the “animalization of men.”
Today in “That’s not how any of this works and also that’s not where the g-spot even is,” I present the following gif, which I found tucked away in the archives of the BadWomensAnatomy* subreddit.
By David Futrelle
We’ve met them before, these mysterious and stinky straight men, who refuse to wipe or wash their asses because they’re afraid that doing so is somehow gay.