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Worst Uber alternative ever

cat driving a car
By contrast, this is the best Uber alternative ever

Here’s a fellow with new take on the old slogan “gas, grass or ass.”

I have 3 jobs, ask me. Griffith University A Lives in Alexandra Hills 0 38 kilometres away 
About me 
If you ever need a ride home from work, save your money send me a message I'll come and pick you up and take you home. All I ask for in return is that you suck me off and let me play with you during the trip, the goal is to make me cum before we arrive at your destination otherwise I get to fuck you to finish off

The one thing that makes this a little more bearable is the virtual certainty that he has never gotten a positive response to this Tinder profile.

H/T — r/NiceGuys; I disguised the guy’s face in the pic.

Follow me on Twitter.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Reddit NoFappers report that they’re starting to reek of semen – and that the scent drives the ladies wild!

This two-headed woman does not like the scent of stale semen. Also, those are clothespins on her noses, not skinny dildos.

It’s getting funky over in the Semen Retention subreddit. Not funky like James Brown funky. Funky as in musty teenager’s bedroom funky.

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Ruin your weekend with this grotesque “field report” from a MGTOW who had sex

Our thoughts exactly

By David Futrelle

So-called “Men Going Their Own Way” are so bad at the whole “going their own way” part of their little woman-hating credo that they sometimes have sex with women.

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Fart discrimination: The most insidious form of anti-incel oppression?

Women love it when Chad farts. Not so much with incels!

By David Futrelle

Over on the forum, they’re always coming up with new excuses to be angry at women. The most ingenious one I’ve seen in a long time comes from a regular forum commenter calling himself Sparrow’s Song, who seems to have uncovered a heretofore unknown form of discrimination against incels, based on their farts.

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These philosophical musings on the “Cup of Hermes” from the NoFap subreddit will ruin your dinner

Crying over spilt you-know-what

By David Futrelle

So yesterday I learned a phrase I sort of wish I could unlearn. It’s “Cup of Hermes,” a term apparently originating in alchemy that has been taken up by practitioners of Sex Magick and the anti-masturbation NoFap movement. If you think for a moment I suspect you’ll be able to figure out what this particular metaphorical cup is supposed to hold, if you haven’t already.

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“Dudes too macho to wipe their asses” is apparently a thing

Cats are also absurdly hostile to toilet paper (but at least they do clean their butts on a regular basis)

By David Futrelle

I thought I’d take a moment this Friday evening to signal-boost a very important tweet from film producer Keith Calder on the subject of dudes so wrapped up in their own supposed machoness that they can’t “poop properly” or, even worse, clean up afterwards.

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Rancid pickup artist celebrates “free-balling.” You may lose your lunch

Literally the only circumstance in which I want to hear about “going commando.”

By David Futrelle

Our old friend Heartiste, the Nazoid pickup artist with the penchant for overwrought prose, has penned a short paean to the alleged joys of “going commando” — that is, not wearing underwear. It is … something.

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ALL you need to do, is have babis: Another Comment I Didn’t Let Through

A question that applies to MGTOWs too

By David Futrelle

I thought I would end this week by setting aside the Nazi Menace for a minute so we can plunge once again into the swirling male-strom of Men Going Their Own Way. Today’s MGTOW adventure comes in the form of a very long, though not very well proofread manifesto that some dude called Zachary left in the comments here about a week ago. I didn’t let it through moderation then because I wanted to share it with you all.

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"My seed has too much dignity to be in the company of the rest of useless humanity" and other insights on marriage and sperm from

Gosh, who would ever have expected that this guy might prove popular with unhinged MRA types?
Gosh, who would ever have thought that this guy might prove to be popular with unhinged MRA types?

So while poking about the manosphere today I followed a link from an obscure Men’s Rights blog over to Alex Jones’ Infowars site — specifically to the comments on a news article about a study that claims internet porn is destroying marriage.

Jones, as you may know, is essentially the king of the world’s conspiracy theorists, so naturally I expected his commenters to be pretty unhinged. What I didn’t realize is that they would also all be Men’s Rights Activists.

Well, maybe they don’t all call themselves that, but they certainly think like MRAs; several even linked to a site for Men Going Their Own Way.

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