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Fellas! Make your girlfriend your clone by uploading your sperm into her brain!


Michael B. Jordan , meet your new girlfriend, Michaela B. Jordan

By David Futrelle

It’s amazing how many men think their sperm is magical. Some, echoing the incorrect beliefs of scientists from centuries ago, think that it’s what “brings life” to the womb, with women providing no more than a place for a fetus to hang out for 9 months before it’s born. Some think their own sperm is worth its weight in gold.

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Bad (Anatomy) Romance: Creepy dudes woo the ladies with some of the most anatomically incorrect DMs of all time

Note: Diagram might not be 100% correct

By David Futrelle

Now, I don’t consider myself an expert on dating, but after spending a couple of hours looking through an assortment of messages that weird and confused would-be-suitors have sent to women online, and which have subsequently been posted to Reddit’s CreepyPMs and BadWomensAnatomy subreddits, it’s become clear that at the very least I am more of an expert than these guys.

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These philosophical musings on the “Cup of Hermes” from the NoFap subreddit will ruin your dinner

Crying over spilt you-know-what

By David Futrelle

So yesterday I learned a phrase I sort of wish I could unlearn. It’s “Cup of Hermes,” a term apparently originating in alchemy that has been taken up by practitioners of Sex Magick and the anti-masturbation NoFap movement. If you think for a moment I suspect you’ll be able to figure out what this particular metaphorical cup is supposed to hold, if you haven’t already.

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