We Hunted The Mammoth
Hire me as an editor or writing coach! Check out what I have to offer at David-Futrelle.com
Worlds are colliding! Two of my obsessions have weirdly converged: while looking through the semen retention subreddit, one of my favorite sources of weirdo misogyny to write about, I ran across a post from someone who had used ChatGPT to write a poem celebrating semen retention.
UPDATED: See end of story. Pizza box thing not true.
It’s been a rough couple of days for musclebound professional misogynist Andrew Tate. Yesterday, his attempts to troll environmental activist Greta Thunberg on Twitter backfired spectacularly, inspiring widespread ridicule. Then, today, his Romanian villa was reportedly raided by the police in connection with the alleged kidnapping of two young women.
Today, in “Things That Are 100 Percent Not True,” we have this strange masturbatory fantasy-disguised-as-a-true story from the DatingAdviceForMen subreddit, either written by a sad middle-aged man or three kids in a trenchcoat. (I’m betting the latter.)
How is it that so many self-proclaimed nice guys turn out to be so terrible?
Today, what may be the cringiest attempt to slide into some unfortunate woman’s DMs that I’ve ever seen.
Imagine how far your head has to be up your own ass to ask a question like this.
By David Futrelle
Yep, some NoFap dude did a NoFap version of Johnny Cash’s famous cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt,” with the lyrics changed to make a point about the evils of “cooming” while jerking off to porn. Just listen to this mess, if you can:
By David Futrelle
So-called “Men Going Their Own Way” are so bad at the whole “going their own way” part of their little woman-hating credo that they sometimes have sex with women.
By David Futrelle
It’s hard to think of a more embarrassing memetic self-own than the ubiquity of the “hot white girl complaining about white genocide” memes on the alt-right internet.
By David Futrelle
We live in a dark, cynical world, and so it’s nice sometimes to be reminded that there are still decent, considerate people around.