We Hunted The Mammoth
Aside from a handful of reviewers and perhaps Mindy Kaling herself, it seems like the only people truly happy about the new Scooby-Doo prequel Velma are the right-wingers who’ve found a new “woke” show to hate. Over on Rotten Tomatoes, a presumed review-bombing campaign by right-wingers has driven the just-debuted show’s audience rating down to 6%; over on IMDb, the show has garnered a mere 1.3 stars out of ten, a worse score than even Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2.
Whenever news breaks about a new school shooter, an unhealthy alliance of trolls and true believers takes to social media to flood the zone with bullshit.
As I read through the Buffalo shooter’s 180-page manifesto last night, I was struck again and again by a feeling of familiarity. Had I read something like this before?
As it turned out I had. Something exactly like it.
So here are a few little tales I found on Reddit that sound like they were directed by M. Night Shyamalan ; you’ll want to read them until their ends, as that’s where the real magic happens.
I‘ll start with the good news: a mass shooting yesterday near the Edmund Burke prep school in Washington DC left only one person dead — the shooter himself, who took his own life before police found their way to his fifth-floor apartment, which had been converted to something like a sniper’s nest for shooting at the streets below.
Somehow this two-year old post from 4Chan made it to the top of the Not How Girls Work subreddit this week and it is so weird and disgusting (even by 4chan standards) that I feel compelled to share it with you. Brace yourself.
The world has had enough of small penises. We need our top scientists to get to work on the problem immediately so that in the future every dick-bearing human will have a massive whanger.
Or so says this 4Channer:
Do you remember when alt-rightsters wouldn’t shut up about “white genocide,” the alleged plot by our hidden (((puppetmasters))) to get rid of the white race by convincing people of color and white people to have biracial babies together? By their logic, anything that encouraged mixed marriages/relationships, from multiracial underwear ads to mixed-race emojis to anal porn, was an act of genocide against the white race.
4Channers are so obsessed with calling people “cucks” that you can’t help but wonder if some of them are just projecting their own secret — or perhaps not-so-secret — fetishes on the world.
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On this election day eve, 4chan’s /pol/ board is awash in Trumpmania, with the president’s fans calling on fellow anons to do everything they possibly can to support their beloved leader.