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Bad (Anatomy) Romance: Creepy dudes woo the ladies with some of the most anatomically incorrect DMs of all time

Note: Diagram might not be 100% correct

By David Futrelle

Now, I don’t consider myself an expert on dating, but after spending a couple of hours looking through an assortment of messages that weird and confused would-be-suitors have sent to women online, and which have subsequently been posted to Reddit’s CreepyPMs and BadWomensAnatomy subreddits, it’s become clear that at the very least I am more of an expert than these guys.

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An incel Redditor has quite a question for all you vagina-havers

Just asking questions

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By David Futrelle

One incel Redditor thirsts for knowledge about something he clearly has no first-hand experience with:

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Fragile masculinity: Men’s Rights Activists outraged by research suggesting male Trump voters are worried about their dicks

He’s a White House truck drivin’ man: Donald Trump is TOTALLY secure in his masculinity

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By David Futrelle

The Washington Post caused a bit of a stir on the internet today with an article by two academic researchers offering some rather intriguing evidence suggesting that many men turn to Trump because his blustery assertions of manhood help to reassure them about their own masculinity.

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The stank air of your tight pocket: The most romantic DM ever?

Message of love

By David Futrelle

We live in a dark, cynical world, and so it’s nice sometimes to be reminded that there are still decent, considerate people around.

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The 12 worst MAGA Twitter reactions to Stormy Daniels’ claim that Donald Trump has a weird, small, mushroom-looking dick

Mario Kart’s Toad is not having a great day

By David Futrelle

Today was a truly dark day for those who would have preferred to go through life not ever knowing what Donald Trump’s dick looks like (alleged). In excerpts from Stormy Danies’ forthcoming memoir, the porn-actress-turned-producer described her alleged sexual encounter with our gross president in enough detail to ruin all of our breakfasts.

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Reddit’s The_Donald responds to Kavanaugh accusations with … weird jokes about Dianne Feinstein’s vagina

Brett Kava-hell-to-the-naw!

By David Futrelle

The Trump stans in Reddit’s The_Donald have responded to the sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh in what, for them, is an extremely on-brand manner — by making weird and creepy jokes about sexual assault and some sort of forced inspection of Dianne Feinstein’s vagina.

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New Incel Theory: Women don’t use “pussy mouthwash” because “letting Chad’s load rot in there is a huge turn on”

Uh oh

By David Futrelle

It’s Friday! So let me just ruin your weekend in advance by making you read this horrible thing from the Incels.me forum containing the phrase “pussy mouthwash.”

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My Normal Partner Who Shares My Opinion on Sluts: An incel self-own for the ages

Normal as hell

By David Futrelle

Today, a Twitter self-own so perfect, so pure, that it may well bring a tear to your eye.

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New MGTOW theory: The more men a woman has slept with, the smellier her you-know-what gets!

This Rose doesn’t smell so sweet

By David Futrelle

Despite that whole “going their own way” thing, the mewling baby  collective known as Men Going Their Own Way have a surprisingly large number of opinions about vaginas, and more than a few theories about what happens to vaginas when they are exposed to what MGTOWs consider too many different penises.

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Defeat the tyranny of the vagina with some alpha-as-hell DRY HUMPING, innovative MGTOW thinker urges

Alpha dog retaining his power over a human female by humping her leg

By David Futrelle

There is a certain tension in the lives of many MGTOWs. More specifically, in their pants. Despite their oft-stated goal of Going Their Own Way in a manly fashion, thus freeing themselves from the tyranny of women, these men would still very much like to be having sex with the women they have Gone Their Own Way from, just without the tyranny bit.