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Hot for Santa: The Unbearable Horniness of Vintage Christmas Ads

For vacuum fetishists, it’s the best Christmas ever!

By David Futrelle

With Christmas only a couple of days away, I decided to put together a little roundup of some of the most wildly misogynistic Christmas ads from the Mad Men era — loosely and somewhat expansively defined as the mid-50s through the mid-70s.

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New Incel Theory: Women don’t use “pussy mouthwash” because “letting Chad’s load rot in there is a huge turn on”

Uh oh

By David Futrelle

It’s Friday! So let me just ruin your weekend in advance by making you read this horrible thing from the forum containing the phrase “pussy mouthwash.”

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You got your Donald Trump quotes on my vintage sexist ads!

Real ad, real Trump quote, real disgusting

Donald Trump’s comments about women are often so retrograde they could have come from Mad Men-era America. This gave a Syrian artist who calls himself Saint Hoax an idea: why not pair some of Trump’s more odious pronouncements with sexist ads from half a century ago?

off topic

“Stay fit and slim by taking amphetamine,” and other questionable advice from the past. With pictures.

Probably good advice.
Probably good advice.

We’re going way off-topic for this one. Some good advice, and bad advice, from days gone by. (After the jump.)

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Toilet Soap: How evil women trick men into thinking they’re not old hags


We were talking the other day about an especially popular Manosphere fairy tale — you know, the one in which evil women in their “prime” years in their twenties have lots of sex with charming assholes (and none with hard-working decent nice guys), only to panic when they hit the age of thirty or so and suddenly become ugly monsters.

Well, apparently the evil women have come up with a technical solution to that whole “getting old and ugly” problem. I have uncovered secret evidence in the form of a pamphlet or leaflet that the women of the world evidently circulate amongst themselves.

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All About the Menz: Douchey Vintage Douche Ads Edition


When are women’s “problems” really problems? According to the vintage ads I’ve collected below, only when they affect a man.

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Life Before Feminism: Elliot and His Charge Dodger, er, Dodge Charger


A blast from the past. Elliot is (inadvertently) DHV-ing out the wazoo! That’s Demonstrating Higher Value, for those not hep to Pickup Artist lingo.

This isn’t, strictly speaking, “life before feminism.” It’s life just as the second wave of feminism was getting going. Indeed, the rather forward women in the ad are essentially Madison Avenue’s version of liberated women.

And this  seems to be how most MRAs continue to see feminism today — as an elaborate plot designed to allow bossy, manipulative, “hypergamous” “empowered females” to better exploit hard-working beta men.

The ad is of course insulting to both men and women, but I imagine any MRA viewers who stop by will only see the misandry.

But, hey, it is a pretty cool car.

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