We were talking the other day about an especially popular Manosphere fairy tale — you know, the one in which evil women in their “prime” years in their twenties have lots of sex with charming assholes (and none with hard-working decent nice guys), only to panic when they hit the age of thirty or so and suddenly become ugly monsters.
Well, apparently the evil women have come up with a technical solution to that whole “getting old and ugly” problem. I have uncovered secret evidence in the form of a pamphlet or leaflet that the women of the world evidently circulate amongst themselves.
Very clever of these sneaky women to call this magical age-defying balm “Toilet Soap,” to make us men think it’s a product only used for cleaning toilets, which is something women apparently do on a regular basis. But no, they put this so-called “Toilet Soap” on their faces!
I have been unable to find any of this “Lux Toilet Soap” at the local grocery store. So I’ve been trying out other toilet cleaners to see if they have the same age-retarding effects. So far I have had little luck. The Clorox Toilet Wand is harsh and awkward to use. Lime-A-Way Toilet Bowl Cleaner gave me a rash. The less said about my experience with the Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel, the better. I have not yet tried Lysol’s Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner, as I am pretty sure Lysol is intended only for vaginas.
Also, fellas, I don’t want to alarm you, but I have been doing reasearch on yet another way women try to trick us into thinking that they’re hotter than they really are. It’s apparently called “make-up.” I will fill you in on the details as I learn more about it.