Author: David Futrelle

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$MONEY$ antifeminism antifeminst women evil women marriage strike men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny MRA oppressed men

First comes feminism, then comes marriage

Every feminist girl’s fondest dream.

What do feminists want? Equal work for equal pay? An end to sexual violence? A new album from Le Tigre? Nope. According to the dude behind the still-awkwardly named Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Technology blog, what they really want is to GET THE RING and get hitched up to some nice man they can happily exploit. Yep, feminists love marriage more than almost anything. Why? Because getting married is the necessary first step towards getting a nice, profitable divorce. Mr. PMAFT explains:

Anyone who tells you that getting married and having children fights feminism is wrong.  Feminism is dependent on marriage and family.  Without it, feminism would collapse.  When socons and tradcons push for marriage, they are working to create more feminism.

But …

Some of you are thinking, “what about all those feminists who want to ‘destroy marriage’?”  … [T]his represents a misunderstanding of what feminism is and how pervasive it is.  A few lesbians who want to destroy marriage don’t really represent the totality of feminism.  The most prominent strain of feminism currently in existence is hybrid feminism or cafeteria feminism, which combines anything from what is traditionally thought of as “feminism” to conservatism and traditionalism that benefits women. 

Um, I’m pretty sure that the traditionalists are not eating in the same cafeteria as the “cafeteria feminists.” But PMAFT is on a roll:

The hybrid or cafeteria feminist does not want to “destroy marriage” as such.  They have no interest in living in lesbian communes. They want to be able to cash out and destroy THEIR marriages via divorce whenever they feel like it, but they still want to get married when they want.  If marriage was completely destroyed, then they wouldn’t be able to fleece men of their children and financial assets because they wouldn’t be able to get married in the first place to have a divorce.  Without the use of marriage and divorce, it becomes nearly impossible for feminism to steal the wealth of men.  …  Feminism is now completely dependent on marriage and family.

Huh, because most of the feminists I know, oh, never mind.

This is the reason why the marriage strike is such a large threat to feminism.  Without men getting married, the engine of feminism doesn’t have the fuel it needs to keep going, and it stalls.

I’m pretty sure most feminist women will get along just fine even if they can’t marry you.

 

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a voice for men antifeminism grandiosity hypocrisy I am making a joke I'm totally being sarcastic irony alert misogyny MRA narcissism oppressed men paul elam reactionary bullshit shit that never happened the fucking titanic victimhood

Elam: Take My Male Privilege, Please!

Paul Elam, head ranter at A Voice for Men, has a new video out called “You want privilege? You got it!” The thesis: if women really did have the so-called privileges that men have, they’d hate it and want men to take them all back. Because all of these so-called privileges are really giant burdens. Or, as Elam puts it, somewhat more melodramatically, these privileges have “begun to more resemble an anchor around your neck than the helm of a great ship that everyone tells you that you are captaining.”

Here’s the video.

Well, all right, that’s not really Paul Elam. But that little clip does capture pretty well the tone of his latest post, which is indeed about how male privilege is really a terrible burden.

I mean, this is his opener:

I swear by everything holy that the next time I hear some fembot caterwaul about “male privilege,” I am going to find something to break, turn it into shards, and drag the broken pieces across my chest just to distract me from the pain of their increasing stupidity. Just picture me like Martin Sheen, collapsed in a heap of bloody, tearful insanity on the floor of a cheap hotel in Saigon.

Heck, compared to that, Mr. McDuck’s reaction to the news about his “ice cream” was, if anything, rather restrained.

The rest of Elam’s post is, as is typical for him, a rather trite recitation of a number of standard Men’s Rights talking points about male “disposability” written in some of the most ridiculously overblown prose ever seen outside of an Ayn Rand novel.

Elam complains that he hasn’t seen much benefit from his privileges:

Mind you I still don’t know what that privilege is. One time when I was young and very poor I was late on my light bill. I showed the electric company my balls, but they cut my power off anyway. …

Yeah, as someone who’s also had his power cut off, I’m pretty sure they do that with everyone. I’m also pretty sure that no feminist has ever or will ever argue that male privilege means you won’t get your power cut off for nonpayment.

Here’s Elam addressing women as if they’ve traded place with men:

With your privilege comes the right to work on crab boats, drive trucks, work on electric lines, walk into burning buildings and sink into the bowels of the earth digging out coal and other things people find useful.

Apparently having greater occupational choices is scary and bad.

When a ship goes down, or any other life threatening disaster strikes, you have two choices. Be a real woman and die, or treat your life like it has value and have the world shit on you as a coward who refused to perish on cue. There is also the possibility of third option, either die from the disaster so that men can live, or have another woman blow a fucking hole in your face with a pistol because you tried to save yourself.

Yeah, I believe we may have addressed this earlier. Oh, but there’s more:

Like noticing the emperor has no clothes, it may hit you one day when you decide not to offer your seat to a man; when the stares at you from all around seem to come down people’s noses. …

You must learn not to say a word. Not to anyone else, not even to yourself. You must learn to see flames, coal dust, icy saltwater, death and sacrifice for the trappings of power that the world around you thinks them to be.

Says a dude typing out his manifestos on an expensive laptop he conned nagged his followers into buying for him.

And you must be willing to hang your head in shame over that power, even as the world chews you up, spits you out, and gets ready to take its turn with your daughter.

Elam’s rousing conclusion:

So, that is it, ladies. You want my privilege, it is yours. I will gladly hand it over to you this very minute. I am just waiting for you to meet the pre-requisites of disposibilty and an utter lack of self-value. I am waiting for you to woman up to the job, take off your fucking make up and be ready to bleed, blah blah blah look at me I’m mad!

I paraphrased a little at the end there. But, yes, the world champion at seeing male “disposability” everywhere did in fact misspell the word “disposability.” That was all him. And so, believe it or not, is the following:

I, like a Jew gone weary of being called a chosen one, am completely ready for anyone else, and in particular, you, to be chosen.

Personally, I have had about all the privilege I can stand.

Yep. He went there.

Also, I don’t know if you all knew this, but when women serve in the military these days it’s “like a day care camp for them.”

Also, not to pat myself on the back or anything, but my headline is much better than his. Maybe he should get me to write all the headlines on A Voice for Angry Duck Plutocrats Men.

Discuss.

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alpha males antifeminism antifeminst women MGTOW misogyny MRA PUA reactionary bullshit sex sluts whores

Susan “Chartbuster” Walsh does it again

Susan Walsh, the slut-shaming, chart-making dating guru behind Hooking Up Smart, has made yet another chart! This time, it’s a flowchart attempting to diagram “the anatomy of a hookup.” While not quite as impressively incoherent as her infamous flowchart trying to explain the dire economic costs of sluttery, or as plainly incorrect as her diagram purporting to show that hot dudes get all the sex, this one is impressively daft nonetheless. I suggest you click here to see it full-size.

Well, I’ve followed all the various little arrows around on the chart, and as far as I can tell, her point is that if you have sex with someone, this may not result in true love for all time. There’s a shock. In other words, all these little boxes and arrows are intended to draw our attention to the fact that, as Cliff Pervocracy has put it, “every relationship does either end or continue. I salute your tautological genius.”

The other thing to notice about Walsh’s chart is that she apparently can’t conceive that people can remain friends, or even become friends, after sex. As Walsh loves to remind her female readers, having sex with someone doesn’t  automatically make them fall in love with you. But it doesn’t make them automatically hate you or want to have nothing to do with you either.

So I present to you a somewhat more simplified hookup flow chart, which nonetheless manages to cover the possibility that people who hook up with one another can sometimes become friends afterwards.

Super Obvious Note: All friendships and relationships may at some point come to an end, or change into something else.

Despite the clear flaws of Walsh’s chart – it’s a strange mixture of obviousness and obliviousness  — many of Walsh’s readers hailed it as a work of genius. One anonymous commenter wrote:

I don’t think there has ever been a better visual representation for the hookup that shows its futility from the woman’s point of view.

Sassy6519 agreed:

That diagram looks as pleasant as trying to cross a minefield.

And that, of course, is the real message Walsh is trying to get across with her (probably deliberately) muddled chart: hookups are scary!

As Walsh put it in a comment:

The point of the chart is really to highlight the odds of getting to dating via a hookup. Studies say 12% of the time. All those yellow and red boxes are just a visual representation of those odds.

Of course, in Wash’s vision, not “getting to dating” is apparently as bad for women as getting an STD, or finding out the guy you’re fucking is a feminist, or something.

Ian Ironwood agreed with her analysis, more or less, but urged his fellow dudes to exploit the situation for their own advantage:

Men are starting to learn their own value in the dating world. They’re beginning to learn Game and use women’s desire for a relationship as leverage. And that means that they’re raising their expectations (which sucks for feminists, who are constantly trying to lower women’s expectations of themselves while raising it for men) and getting a lot more canny about just who they want to spend their lives with.

Men are, indeed, the keepers of commitment. It’s the masculine equivalent of our “virtue”, our ability and willingness to ally ourselves with one woman (or just a few). Those fellas in the Puerarchy who are still hooking up like mad, y’all are the rest of that leverage. With Game-savvy PUAs pumpin’ & dumpin’ like it’s on sale, they provide a bleak alternative to pursuing commitment with a quality dude, which means his value as a high-status male goes up with his willingness to commit. But that also means his expectations of his future bride go up as well.

Guys, recognize your value to women, and use it to your advantage. Remember, a woman in a crappy relationship enjoys higher status in the Matrix than a woman without a relationship, all things being equal. They crave the validation they get from their female peers in the Matrix more than they even crave the romantic connection. That provides a tremendous amount of leverage for the dude who understands that.

Other dudes, nonetheless, still feel that women are too icky to deal with. Herb put it this way:

[I]f there is one lesson Game types and MRA should be pushing it is this:

“A man needs to be ridden by a woman as much as a bicycle needs to be ridden by a fish.”

And yes, I changed it from “have” to “ridden by” for a reason. In the combat dating era, especially in marriage 2.0, men are saddled and ridden too often.

You don’t need a woman in your life to be a man or be complete. …

If you physically need sexual contact there is no shame in deciding the way women have organized the current SMP is a losing game and just turn to the world’s oldest profession (which too many women let themselves become even if they don’t realize it)

You know, if you’re running a dating site ostensibly to provide useful information for young women, and your most enthusiastic commenters are either PUAs hoping to use that information to better exploit women, or MGTOWers looking for more excuses to denigrate and dismiss all women, maybe you’re doing something wrong.

Friend-of-Man-Boobz Ozymandias tried to inject some good sense into the discussion over there. Unfortunately, very little of it stuck.

EDITED TO ADD: I added a quote from Walsh.

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Off-topic: Roxanne Shante, meet Azealia Banks

I‘m not feeling the whole “reading blogs by assholes and making a post about it” thing at the moment (because it involves more “reading blogs by assholes” than I care to at present), so let’s kick it old school and new school with (respectively) Roxanne Shante …

and Azealia Banks

 

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antifeminism disgusting women douchebaggery evil fat fatties irony alert men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA oppressed men shaming tactics the spearhead

Spearheader: The existence of fat women “constitutes nothing less than a full-scale loathing of male sexuality.”

W.F. Price, the man behind The Spearhead and a tireless champion of Men’s Rights, has in his latest post taken on one of the gravest injustices facing American men today. I speak, of course, of fat ladies.

Traveling in Europe, Price has noticed that people tend to be skinnier there than in the US, which naturally has led him to think some deep thoughts about fat ladies in America and how disgusting he finds them.

So-called BBWs in the US are not really curvy — they are rotund.

I really can’t stress enough the extent to which obesity has ruined American women’s attractiveness. Feminists blather on and on about how women should be “comfortable” with their bodies, but the truth is that many American women would be viewed as abominations in most of the world.

Those damn feminists, making ladies fat!

If you were to try to come up with a parallel for men, I suppose it would be something like having toothless, homeless alcoholic men say that they should be proud of themselves and feel attractive.

Actually, if you were to find a parallel for men, it would also be, er, fatness. Obesity rates for men and women in the US are roughly the same, with women having only a slight lead: according to a recent CDC survey, 35.5 percent of adult women and 32.2 percent of adult men are “obese,” by current standards. Never mind that these standards are a bit, well, off, in that they classify the overwhelming majority of Americans as overweight or obese. Never mind that more than half of Europeans are also classified as overweight or obese according to these standards. And never mind that the fat shaming shit we hear every day in the media and on the internet is basically a bunch of bull.

Because Price thinks that fat ladies are gross:

Feminists are really that far out there. They are literally delusional by global standards. No normal man in the rest of the world finds obese American women attractive. Sure, they may be able to find some skinny guy from a third world country who will pretend to love them to get a green card, but any self-respecting man will give them a very wide berth.

Ho ho! Wide berth! I get it.

Naturally Price was hailed in the comments for his brave stance. According to dragnet,

The abomination that is the average American woman in flyover country constitutes nothing less than a full-scale loathing of male sexuality.

Andrew S., for his part, admits that

I always had a thing for cute heavy girls.

But he still thinks they’re stuck-up bitches:

Being in the midwest they are a dime a dozen. But since there aren’t a lot of attractive in shape or thin women in this part of the country, and most of the decent looking women have some meat on there bones, well, it was hard to stomach how women who pretty much anywhere else in the world would have been ignored acted like such perfect bitches.

Seriously, the “cute heavy girls” that Andrew prefers need to learn to properly hate themselves for being fat fatties. Maybe that way they’ll be more willing to put up with all this MRA bullshit.

–

Yes, this post contains

 

 

and high fat content. Because I’m fat, get it?

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$MONEY$ antifeminism bronies evil women MRA reddit whaaaaa?

Strange Discovery of the Day: Men’s Rights Bronies

Yep. They may be rarer than unicorns, but Men’s Rights Bronies (MRBs) do indeed exist. For proof, see this post on the Men’s Rights subreddit, in which an MR Brony calling himself Bullywar tries to convince fellow MRAs (and MRBs) that the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic season two finale (of which the video above is an excerpt) is some sort of grand antifeminist statement from the show’s creators. (Oh, SPOILER ALERT for everything that follows.)

You don’t have to be a brony, or even care for MLP at all to get this – just hear me out. If you don’t care to watch the 44 minute episode, I’ll summarize: an impostor shapeshifting queen disposes of a bride to be in a high-profile wedding and plans to use the groom’s magic against him in a lust for power. The linked song will pretty much get the whole episode’s plot across succinctly enough.

The song juxtaposes the heroine’s desire to complement her groom, and the villain’s desire to subjugate him; even though that (until the climax of the episode) everyone sees the latter as the former. It even references one of feminism’s battle cries for the last lyric in the reprise. Watch the whole episode on Youtube to get a closer look.

To see a wildly popular show aimed at girls, conceived and written by a woman, giving such a message to young girls today strikes me as nothing less than resounding vindication for our cause.

Because feminists are all about marrying dudes and exploiting them?

Happily, other Bronies with less of an ax to grind came along and put Bullywar straight.

CrawdaddyJoe, a critic of MRAs who usually gets downvoted on r/mensrights, garnered himself a few upvotes by noting that

Um…. feminists aren’t plotting to marry you and take your money. That’s not even remotely what feminism is about, and most feminists would find such behavior abhorrent and demeaning. Don’t be a paranoid twit.

Drinkthebleach, an actual MR Brony and Pokemon fan, asked:

Isn’t Lauren Faust [the show’s original Executive Producer] a pretty outspoken feminist? Also you left out the part where they talk about how important it is to have a male influence in your life, when she talks about how much she loves/misses/needs her brother.

RotoSequence, who doesn’t seem to regularly post in r/mensrights, offered a more nuanced analysis of the episode:

This is a ridiculous argument. The entire point of This Day was to illustrate that Chrysalis only wanted posession of Shining Armor because by manipulating his emotions, it gave Chrysalis tremendous power. Cadance and Shining Armor, on the other hand, love each other so much that they want to start a family together while the manipulative, evil Queen plans to take that away from them as collateral damage so that Chrysalis can conquer a land that isn’t hers. If anything, the lesson to take home from the finale is “we’re stronger together than we are apart,” and the corny stalwart “love conquers all.”

At least I assume that’s a more nuanced interpretation. As a non-Brony, I really have no idea.

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douchebaggery men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny PUA

PUAs invade OkCupid!

Honestly, this would freak me the fuck out too.

Over on Buzzzfeed, a couple of interesting pieces on the fine art of online pickup artistry.

Kelly Bourdet looks at some of the online PUA gurus and their teachings, noting that

Online pick-up artistry has taken the original aims of IRL pick-up — to develop general tactics and techniques for attracting and bedding women— one step further. One dehumanizing step further. Now, instead of “peacocking” (wearing gaudy outfits to demonstrate Alpha status) in bars and using tired negs, we have them deconstructing every aspect of online persona and communication to create sleek, marketing packages of human beings to sell to one another.

In an even more entertaining companion piece, Ouiser Boudreaux (AKA the Annals of Online Dating gal) reports on some of the actual terrible things these online PUAs write to women in an attempt to “neg” them into their IRL beds.  Like “nice headband, bitch,” or “Lol, you look like a space commando.” Or this little passive-aggressive masterpiece:

You nearly have a perfect lack of grace. What happens when you realize only the also ran hotties slum it in brooklyn? Somebody who says they’re not good at being surface and rattles off a list of authors read mostly in high school english classes is nothing but surface. Your profile is among the most trite and cliche i’ve come across. which is a compliment of sorts, though keep in mind, you’re not in kansas anymore. You know who else won’t deal with a narcissist? just look in the mirror to find the answer: another narcissist.

None of these worked, in case you’re wondering.

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dozens of upvotes men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles reddit

Reddit: Rewarding the reprehensible (again)

Reddit, you make me cry.

Oh, Reddit. Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.

So a couple of days ago Reddit had another one of its regular “confess something awful” mega-threads. This time, the OP asked “what is the one illegal, immoral, criminal, or disgusting thing you’ve always wanted to do or try?”

So, aside from the obvious choices (murder, taking a police officer’s gun) what is one terrible desire that a Redditor could confess that would garner more than a hundred upvotes?

Did your answer involve pedophilia – sorry, ebebophilia? Well, congratulations. You are of course correct:

I would have also accepted “smash everything in a Pottery Barn“ and “fuck  a female horse.”

Naturally, Reddit being Reddit, someone helpfully offered the would-be child rapist advice on places it would be legal for him to fulfill his desires. And got a dozen upvotes for it.

Did you also guess that some brave Redditor would try to talk the would-be child abuser out of it – and hundreds of upvotes for it? No? Amazingly (for Reddit), someone did – though in true Reddit fashion they did so not because it’s wrong to prey on the young, but because 14-year-olds are annoying.

For many even more horrible confessions that didn’t get quite many upvotes, go here and sort by “controversial.”

Oh, but you say it’s not fair to pick on Redditors in a “confess awful things” thread?

Redditors don’t need a special occasion to celebrate pedophilia.

Thanks again to ShitRedditSays for pointing me to all this awfulness.

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antifeminism artificial wombs crackpottery evil women grandiosity men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny MRA oppressed men reactionary bullshit sexy robot ladies we hunted the mammoth

Civilization and its Discontented Ladies

If it weren't for us men, we'd all still be living like this.

Oh, you ladies! Apparently, if you were left to your own devices, we’d all still be living in caves. The dude at The Black Pill, the blog formerly known as Omega Virgin Revolt, explains the grave danger that uncontrolled ladieness poses to civilization. (The thing, not the computer game.)

What is civilization?  There are many definitions of “civilization”, but IMO the most important definition of civilization is controlling female behavior, all of which acts against civilization. Civilization was created as soon as ways of controlling female behavior were developed.  Before civilization men had to constantly deal with female behavior so they never had the time to develop science, technology, etc.  When female behavior was put under control, then men didn’t have to spend so much time worry about women.  Men could spend time inventing agriculture and later other forms of science and technology.  Keeping women and their destructive behavior under control is the key to civilization.

Seriously. If we dudes hadn’t clamped down on your lady behavior, we’d be fucked. Dudes like Mr. Black Pill would be out there trying their best to build up civilization by posting lady-hating screeds on the internet and not having sex with anyone, and you gals would be undermining all their hard work by doing terrible lady things like, say, working in government, doing scientific research, teaching filmmaking, writing books, making interesting jewelry, working as EMTs, being Secretary of State, and writing Supernatural fanfic. Wait, that’s already happening. Uh oh. Civilization is in danger!

And of course evil feminists are at the heart of the Lady Plot Against Civilization.

So much of feminism is a screed against civilization, science, and technology.  Feminists have called Isaac Newton’s Principia Mathematica a rape manual.  Feminists hate the technology industry and have attacked technology in general as male rape of the natural world and/or the enforcement of patriarchy over nature.  Feminists know unconciously that civilization is the greatest threat to the power of women.  Civilization was developed by men, not women.  Women are only along for the ride because sex and babies can’t happen without them (for now).  Every advancement in science and technology is a threat to women.  Every advancement in science and technology brings up a step closer to freeing men from needing women.

So watch it, ladies. As soon as we work out this whole having babies without ladies thing, your days are numbered! Then all we’ll need to do is to figure out how to get all the dudes in the world who actually like and respect women and think of them as fellow human beings to abandon them for sex robots. Piece of cake.

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$MONEY$ alpha asshole cock carousel domestic violence evil women false accusations misogyny MRA narcissism oppressed white men sluts the enigma that is ladies video YouTube

Tommy Wiseau’s The Room: An unintentional MRA classic?

A rare non-misogynistic moment in The Room

You may have heard of, if you haven’t already seen, the stupefyingly terrible film The Room. The film is so bafflingly inept and nonsensical that you’re hardly surprised to learn that writer, director, and star Tommy Wiseau had never made a film before; indeed, you might find yourself wondering if he’d ever even seen a film before.

The Room (released, barely, in 2003 and available on DVD) is a mawkishly melodramatic, and deadly serious, drama about a man betrayed by his fiancee, which Wiseau has been trying to market as a quirky comedy  because no one can watch the film without laughing at his hero’s travails. Rent The Room if you want to stare dumbfounded at your TV for an hour and a half some night. Seriously, rent it.

Seeing it for myself the first time not long ago, I was struck by the manosphere-style misogyny that pervades almost every frame of the movie. It’s not an MRA film, and Wiseau is no MRA, but somehow he manages to encapsulate every terrible stereotype about men and women that most MRAs seem to believe.

The film tells the sad story of Johnny (played by Wiseau), a good-hearted, long-haired banker with an unclassifiable accent who is betrayed at work (he doesn’t get his expected promotion) and, more importantly, by his “future wife” Lisa, who blithely cheats on him with his best friend.

Lisa is portrayed like the evil bitch villain in nearly every MRA urban legend: she’s a self-absorbed twit who, in addition to cheating on Johnny, falsely accuses him of domestic violence and fakes a pregnancy just to fuck with him.

Johnny, meanwhile, is supposed to be seen as a loyal, helpful, compassionate man who cares deeply about his friends and treats his adored “future wife” Lisa like the princess he tells her she is.

I say “supposed to” because Johnny is hardly the great guy Wiseau thinks he is. For one thing, everything he does and says is bit … off, as if his body has been taken over by a space alien who’s learned everything he knows about women (and human interaction in general) by reading comments on Reddit and watching Christopher Walken as “The Continental” on Saturday Night Live without getting the joke.

For another, he’s a rage-filled narcissist with a bad case of “nice guy” entitlement and absolutely no self-awareness. When his friend Mark tells him about a woman beaten so badly she ends up in the hospital, he responds with a hearty laugh. (“What a story, Mark!”) And when he confronts Lisa about her false accusations of domestic violence (“You are lying! I never hit you!”), he angrily shoves her down onto a couch. It doesn’t seem to occur to Johnny (or to Wiseau) that this too is a form of domestic violence.

When, after learning of Lisa’s betrayal, he trashes their apartment and [SPOILER ALERT] kills himself with a conveniently located pistol, Wiseau presents it as the ultimate comeuppance to the cruel Lisa.

While you have to see the whole film to truly appreciate its epic badness, the following clips will give you some idea of what I’ve been talking about.

First, the trailer, which tries its best to cover up the film’s true weirdness:

The infamous “roof scene” in which Johnny tells Mark (the guy Lisa is sleeping with) about Lisa’s accusations of domestic violence:

A compilation of some of Johnny’s best (i.e. worst) moments:

This one (ignore the misleading title) gives you some idea of Lisa’s oblivious evilness:

Here’s Hitler reacting to the film. (Note: Not the real Hitler.)

And here, if you dare, is the whole damn movie in its entirely. (If you’re pressed for time, you may want to fast forward through the film’s five completely unerotic sex scenes, set to the worst slow jams ever recorded.)

EDITED TO ADD: Oh, and here’s the scene the gif above is from. Johnny is the most efficient flower buyer and pug-petter in the world.