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Is Men's Rights hate site A Voice for Men melting down before our eyes?

Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting!
Look what you’ve done! I’m melting! Melting!

Is AVFM, the hate site we all love to hate, melting down before our eyes? Consider.

1) Men Going Their Own Way are Going Their Own Way, Far Away, From Paul Elam

AVFM’s head cheese Paul Elam has long fantasized about becoming King of the MGTOWs, which would help him build up his Flying Monkey army and turn Men Going Their Own Way into Money Going Into Paul Elam’s Pockets. In doing so, he seems to have alienated virtually all of those who consider themselves MGTOWs.

That hasn’t stopped him from trying to annex MGTOWland, or reveling in the setbacks of MGTOWers who haven’t pledged their love to Paul. The AVFM/MGTOW war has even had its own “Mission Accomplished” moment: a 2013 post by Elam’s partner-in-MGTOW Peter Wright declaring that “AVfM is indisputably MGTOW-central.”

The current round in the ongoing AVFM/MGTOW slapfight started with the publication of an e-book on MGTOW by Elam and Wright that was not exactlly well-received by MGTOWers. It didn’t help that the misogynistic and astoundingly un-self-aware Elam made a video labeling his MGTOW enemies misogynistic “PigTOWs.” I mean, they are misogynistic PigTOWs, but insulting those you hope to turn into supporters isn’t exactly a great PR move.

MGTOWers are also angry that Elam has promoted a stay-at-home mother, the woman who calls herself “Janet Bloomfield” and “Judgy Bitch,” into AVFM’s main PR person. Former AVFMers John “The Other” Hembling and Diana Davison are now enthusiastically supporting the anti-Elam MGTOW army, and the online sniping between AVFM and its enemies has reached a new low, with AVFMers apparently passing around nude pictures of Davison and Elam describing Hembling, his former number two at AVFM, as

the one guy at AVFM who was one blowjob away from turning mangina when the Queen of Auschwitz showed up to swallow.

Yeah, I’m not sure why Elam is calling Davison “the Queen of Auschwitz” either — because she’s skinny? — but I don’t think it’s meant as a compliment.

Apparently, the things MGTOWers and AVFMers are saying about each other in private are even worse, though I can scarcely imagine how. As AVFM ally Karen “GirlWritesWhat” Straughan said in a YouTube comment of her own,

There are things going on in private chats and other places outside the public eye that would make you puke.


2) AVFM is alienating former supporters — and may even be driving off one of the biggest celebrities of the Men’s Rights movement, the aforementioned Karen “GirlWritesWhat.”

The latest Men’s Rightser to desert AVFM? YouTuber Natasha Douglas (a.k.a. Nurdy Dee, a.k.a. Nurdy Dancing), who says she’s gotten tired of the giant “clusterfuck” that AVFM has become. While she’s not exactly a major figure in the Men’s Rights Movement, AVFM has quietly moved a rather appalling video of hers, in which she argues that calling a man a misogynist is the equivalent of calling someone the n-word, off of its featured spot on AVFM’s front page, where it had been perched for what seemed like forever.

More significantly, Karen “GirlWritesWhat” Straughan, AVFM’s star “Honey Badger,” has been offering some rather blunt critiques of Elam et al, and suggesting that she could easily walk away from the site. GWW, a popular YouTube blabber with more than 91,000 subscribers, noted in one Youtube comment (to the video here) that she’s become “sick to death of the poo-flinging going on between AVFM and MGTOW.”

While still publicly a supporter of AVFM, she’s talking a lot like someone with one foot out the door:

I’m still on the masthead, as far as I know, but I don’t do a whole lot for AVFM, and never have. I’m not even a member of their forums. I have no editorial control. I get no money from it. I haven’t contributed an article in ages, and anything of mine on the site is essentially grabbed from my YT channel or my blog. My opinions are my own. I’m willing to bet that I could cut them loose without suffering any real loss.

Why don’t I? Because my name can help them. …

[P]lease don’t think I answer to AVFM, that I care about what AVFM thinks of me, or that AVFM tells me what to do. They don’t. They could all drop dead tomorrow and I’d keep doing what I’m doing.

3) Money troubles: AVFM’s donors seem ever more reluctant to keep sending money to a site that seems incapable of accomplish much of anything beyond providing a platform for a bunch of misogynistic malcontents to shout into the wind.

This may be the real killer. AVFM appears to be having more and more trouble raising the exorbitant amounts of money that Elam claims the site needs to operate, and his fundraising appeals are growing ever more desperate.

At the moment they’re halfway through a two-week long (!!) fund drive, and their little fundraising thermometer is indicating some pretty chilly air:


The fact that they are even running a fund drive with such an, er, ambitious goal is a sign that AVFM’s “new approach” to financing its existence is failing miserably.

In January, after what seems to have been the site’s most difficult fundraiser yet, Elam told his readers that “we need a way to finance our move ahead without coming to you every three months and putting it all on your shoulders,” promising his long-suffering donors “a drastic decrease quarterly in fundraising goals.”

His latest quarterly fundraising goal? Exactly the same as his last one.

Apparently Elam’s other projected “revenue streams” — advertising, his “publishing house,” “e-stores,” and even web hosting services — have not even amounted to a little trickle.

I am shocked — shocked! — that AVFM’s little “publishing house” has not managed to make millions off of two collections of century-old public domain writings by anti-suffrage socialist E. Belfort Bax and a book about MGTOW that virtually everyone in that little community hates.

In his current fundraising appeal, Elam explains that he’s trying to turn AVFM into a for-profit LLC, claiming that

the expense of pulling this together was considerable, given the rates of attorneys and CPAs. And that is not even close to all of the expenses.

For our upcoming publishing house, Zeta Press, we have had to engage attorneys to develop editor’s and author’s contracts and invest in the web development and ecommerce necessary to make that a reality.

How much does it cost to prepare an author contract for a terrible e-book that will sell 8 copies?

In his January post, Elam also suggested that the site’s upcoming conference could make some sweet, sweet cash. Today, he’s singing a rather different tune, declaring that planning for the conference has been

so financially consuming that the LLC’s needs preclude me from AVFM personal income for the foreseeable future. That means I have to work at something else for personal income.

To accomplish this I will be offering online coaching services to men only for a limited amount of hours a week in order to keep food on the table.

Yes, really. I suggest that we start calling him “Coach.”

I will be including one hour per week of pro bono work for those who cannot pay.

What a generous soul! And I will match his offer: Give me $20,000 a quarter and I’ll talk to someone for an hour for free.

In any case, the future of AVFM isn’t looking too bright at the moment. Change “countdown” to “meltdown,” and “Venus” to “Uranus” in the following song and you have the perfect theme song for AVFM today.

I’m not sure why this video is labeled “the worst cover ever” of “The Final Countdown,” as it is clearly the BEST.

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7 years ago

Regarding the Buzzfeed article: It is just the same tired internalized misogyny I’ve read before. Pitiful, really, to hate your own gender so much. I wouldn’t want anything to do with Janet Bloomfield in real life and this will be the last online attention she will receive from me online as well.

7 years ago

Oh yeah, I doubt the rest of the MGTOWs would ever hear from the real ones (if there are some) either. Why would they? In fact, I doubt any real MGTOWs would identify themselves as such, since “going their own way” would kinda seem to preclude any kind of solid group identification.

Though at the same time, I suppose you’d likely need to describe what you’re doing to someone at some point. On the THIRD hand, why would you willingly identify yourself with those chuckleheads? Much better to just say “Yeah, dating’s not for me, I really just enjoy doing my own thing. Last week I went parasailing and I’ve recently started lessons in boxing, speaking Dutch and embroidery.”

Especially since bachelor men seem to get a pass on the “No thanks to the whole marriage and kids deal” more easily than women do.

7 years ago

Ironically, I would be very interested in a parasailing guy who was learning embroidery and Dutch! People who have skills and passions that don’t involve self-pity and resentment and entitled whining are quite attractive, regardless of what they look like.

And if the hypothetical man going his own way on his parasail was not interested in me, too bad for me and women like me, but such are the breaks. I wouldn’t pout or threaten to shoot him or wave my dildo at him wildly while shouting “FINE! I don’t need you anyway, biopr*ck! LOOK AT ME NOT NEEDING YOU, HAHAHA!”

7 years ago

To accomplish this I will be offering online coaching services to men only for a limited amount of hours a week in order to keep food on the table.

This is simultaneously the most hilarious and most frightening thing I’ve read all month.

And wow, Paulie – lay the manipulative guilt on a little thicker next time you’re asking for your quarterly 20K to cover the expenses associated with running a WordPress blog. ‘To keep food on the table’ indeed. My eyes, they roll.

7 years ago


@Viscria Yeah there are some douchy guys that are into that but honestly feminists have absolutely no high ground on this matter considering how they behave in public.

How they behave in public? You do know that feminists are not some monolithic group all acting exactly the same, don’t you?

Screaming over other people to silence them is no way to make a point.</blockquote.

Assuming this "screaming" you refer to actually occurred, why do you assume it is meant to silence anyone rather than, oh, I don't know, express frustration or anger?

A casual glance at Twitter and Tumblr also has a lot of feminists that would rather insult and emotionally abuse people than make reasoned and convincing arguments.

I’m surely going to take your word for that. Oh wait-no I won’t. I’m a guy who embraced feminism year ago, and I haven’t seen this emotional abuse you speak of. Insults, yeah. But then, a great many people deserve to be insulted, so that’s hardly some character flaw of feminists.

It is no wonder some men have chosen to go MGTOW and many don’t want anything to do with feminists or women anymore. That is the message we have been sent LOUDLY. “We don’t need or want you men. We hate you and you are despicable for the crime of the sin of being born male.” is what has been expressed openly and often and so we have taken our ball and gone home.

You’re not listening for comprehension if you think that’s what feminists have been saying. Again, as a male, I’ve not encountered any feminists who have said any of that crap. Sure, I haven’t encountered every single person who is a feminist, so it’s possible someone, somewhere made comments of that nature, but you’re speaking in vague generalities and expecting people to believe you.
Sorry (not sorry), but you’re in a feminist space making these ridiculous assertions, so I hope you’re ready to be laughed at and mocked mercilessly.

7 years ago

Ugh. I promise I didn’t learn how to use HTML yesterday (it was last week).

Paradoxical Intention
7 years ago

Aw, the blockquote Mammoth ate Tony’s post.

’twas a lovely post.

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