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Dude forces ChatGPT to write a poem celebrating semen retention. I have a rebuttal!

Hire me as an editor or writing coach! Check out what I have to offer at David-Futrelle.com

Worlds are colliding! Two of my obsessions have weirdly converged: while looking through the semen retention subreddit, one of my favorite sources of weirdo misogyny to write about, I ran across a post from someone who had used ChatGPT to write a poem celebrating semen retention.

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“Cum is Murder,” explains dude who missed a day in sex ed

So today a Redditor went to the relationship_advice subreddit with an important question: “why does coming to ejaculate matter so much that I lose relationships because I choose not to ejaculate but let my sexual partner have orgasms. (Archived here.)

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The only way to understand the female is through the mastery of semen: Insights into “female nature” from, well, you can probably figure out where they’re from

Semen retention failure

Fellas! Do you remain baffled by the mysteries of Female Nature?That’s probably because you’re trying to understand women by trying to understand women. Because it turns out, according to this dude I found in the semen retention subreddit, the only way to master female nature is by first mastering your semen (and not master-bating).

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5 completely cockeyed myths about sperm

There’s liquid gold in them thar balls

Sperm is in the news again. On Friday, as some of you may know already, Utah state Rep. Karianne Lisonbee (a Republican, naturally) offered her take on the always controversial topic, suggesting to the press that women should feel just fine in the post-Roe age because they can control the “intake of semen” into their bodies:

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Women have it easier than men because they don’t lose their life force with every orgasm, explains NoFap philosopher

Man without Life Force, from the movie Lifeforce aka Space Vampires

Let’s take a break from doomscrolling with (another) little visit to the Land of Magic Sperm, also known as the Semen Retention subreddit.

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Semen is “the real Elixir of the human body,” so DO NOT WASTE IT even if you sort of want to, like REALLY want to, and I mean would it be that big a deal if you did?

Always protect your balls

The guys in the Semen Retention subreddit are just really, really, really into their own semen “the real Elixir of the human body.”

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Artificial wombs will render women obsolete, explains dude who clearly missed a day in biology class

Sperm is all you need?

Here’s another Red Pill dude who seems to have taken Sex Ed in the late 17th century, back when scientists thought that babies developed from tiny homunculi living inside sperm cells, meaning that women were at most mere incubators of life, not the co-creators.

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Men! Save civilization from collapse by jerking off into a bucket

The humble turkey baster … savior of mankind?

So the folks over in the Collapse subreddit — devoted to the allegedly impending end of civilization as we know it — are worried about a danger most people haven’t even heard about: the worldwide drop in fertility.

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Not sure that “my dick is like a windshield wiper, but for sperm” is the best pickup line, Chief

Found this on Reddit, sent to a woman by a “new age male” whose election, apparently, is quite hard.

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Semen retainers! Beware the secret agents of Big Porn who use “cleverly placed words” to lure you back to fapland

Don’t let them hypnotize you!

Those who deliberately retain their semen say the practice sharpens their mind and their senses, makes them to smell better, renders them irresistible to women.