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Semen is “the real Elixir of the human body,” so DO NOT WASTE IT even if you sort of want to, like REALLY want to, and I mean would it be that big a deal if you did?

Always protect your balls

The guys in the Semen Retention subreddit are just really, really, really into their own semen “the real Elixir of the human body.”

How much is “really, really, really” — really? Consider this little manifesto, currently the number three (unstickied) post on their subreddit.

For best results, read out loud, slowly, in the deepest voice you can manage.

VALUE OF SEMEN (self.Semenretention)

submitted 3 days ago by JudgmentOk30623

​

Control your mind

Don't let your mind to control your actions, your feelings, your thinking, your work.

Wonders happen when you make your mind your slave .

Disasters happen when you become the slave of your mind.

We all are developed from a 5 micrometre long cell called as Spermcell.

Just imagine the potential it has. What a powerful thing..!

DO NOT WASTE IT AT ANY COST.

All the great minds ever happened , I bet their brain made wonders only because they rigorously retained their semen.

Our semen is the life, it is the reason why humans stay healthy, clear, smart, active and productive.

Still we are at the beginning of the Medical, Artificial Intelligence, Computer era,.

It's been only around 40-50 years since the humans became familiar with the word COMPUTER.

There's still a lot and hell of a lot that needs and will be discovered in the coming centuries.

And believe me one of the most important discovery on someday will be the real Elixir of the human body 'The Semen'. How it is the most powerful, complex and miraculous.

And the history will take us as an example of how the generations in the 21st century used to fap and waste their semen which lead to the dysfunctionality of their brains.

So guys , what happened till now it was a colossal mental disaster.

Let us make this day memorable , 'THE RESURGENCE DAY' . Write today's date on a sheet of paper and preserve it .

Let us take control of our minds from this moment.

We will be truthful to ourselves, we will not cheat on ourselves, we will not do ANYTHING that damages our body both physically and mentally.

Let us show the world WHO WE ARE..!

NEVER FAP AGAIN, AT ANY COST.

Well, that’s certainly something.

Now that you have absorbed the full text — much as the body absorbs any semen that’s been sitting out unused for too long — let’s take a closer look at some of the more, well, let’s say seminal bits.

We all are developed from a 5 micrometre long cell called as Spermcell.

Just imagine the potential it has. What a powerful thing..!

Well, no more so than the egg. You remember that eggs are involved in that whole reproduction thing, too right?

DO NOT WASTE IT AT ANY COST.

Uh, how is it any less wasteful to have the body reabsorb semen that isn’t all fapped out. Technically, only a tiny microscopic percentage of sperm is “used” to get someone pregnant, so you could say that all but the fastest sperm cell (sent eggwards during unprotected vaginal sex) is wasted. Or you could recognize that your body is built to make all the replacement sperm you’ll ever need and then some.

All the great minds ever happened , I bet their brain made wonders only because they rigorously retained their semen.

What a powerful and well-sourced argument!

Our semen is the life, it is the reason why humans stay healthy, clear, smart, active and productive.

Huh? You do know that there are plenty of penis-less people who are just as “healthy, clear, smart, active and productive” as any of the supposedly enlightened dudes in your subreddit?

Still we are at the beginning of the Medical, Artificial Intelligence, Computer era,.

It’s been only around 40-50 years since the humans became familiar with the word COMPUTER.

There’s still a lot and hell of a lot that needs and will be discovered in the coming centuries.

Are you telling me that one day human scientists will develop some sort of cyborg sperm and take over the world? Or, wait, is a cyborg sperm writing this manifesto? To prepare us for the ultimate takeover?

And believe me one of the most important discovery on someday will be the real Elixir of the human body ‘The Semen’. How it is the most powerful, complex and miraculous.

If semen is so powerful an “elixir” won’t it make sense for penis-havers to fap out as much of the stuff as possible to sell to those who don’t have their own pair of balls?

And the history will take us as an example of how the generations in the 21st century used to fap and waste their semen which lead to the dysfunctionality of their brains.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that humans knew about fapping long before the 21st century.

So guys , what happened till now it was a colossal mental disaster.

At least what has happened to produce this little manifesto here has been a mental disaster.

Let us make this day memorable , ‘THE RESURGENCE DAY’ . Write today’s date on a sheet of paper and preserve it .

I don’t think I’ll be doing that.

Let us take control of our minds from this moment.

We will be truthful to ourselves, we will not cheat on ourselves, we will not do ANYTHING that damages our body both physically and mentally.

I would humbly suggest that reading too many posts in the Semen Retention subreddit damages your, er, body mentally.

Let us show the world WHO WE ARE..!

NEVER FAP AGAIN, AT ANY COST.

Wait, we’re supposed to be paying to fap? Huh. I’m going to guess that most of us with penises may have a rather substantial overdue balance to pay.

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moregeekthan
moregeekthan
4 days ago

I enjoyed Hidden Figures back when I saw it. Not sure how close to actual events some parts of it are, but as feel-good movies go, is was a good one.

TyrantBitchGoddessStacey
TyrantBitchGoddessStacey
4 days ago

@Victorious Parasol

Beautifully said. I need to work on my use of words so I can be as eloquent as you.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
4 days ago

This guy can mark this day as “The Start of My Prostate Problems” and present the paper to his future urologist as proof. I’m sure he’ll be able to do many, many great things in his later years when he’s spending all his time running to the toilet.

@SpecialFFrog: please accept this internet.

The movie of “Hidden Figures” is good, just… kinda… skip Costner. That’s why we have a FFWD button. The scene with John Glenn that Alan mentioned is in there.

Chris Oakley
Chris Oakley
3 days ago

I…I got nothin’.

Nicholas Kiddle
Nicholas Kiddle
2 days ago

I was deeply amused by this because of the number of blokes I’ve been seeing recently who were definitely not retaining their semen, to our great shared enjoyment, and I discussed it with my fiancée. Ze pointed out that it they really believed this “elixir” talk, they’d be frantically trying to get as much of it as possible from other blokes in order to gain more power. Or does it only work for the semen of True Believers?

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