So today a Redditor went to the relationship_advice subreddit with an important question: “why does coming to ejaculate matter so much that I lose relationships because I choose not to ejaculate but let my sexual partner have orgasms. (Archived here.)
“TRULYTRUE TRUE,” BdotEscro begins, for some reason.
hello I am someone that introduces my sex life to my sexual partners before intimacy,
Ok, so far so good. Communication is important.
I in particular, am a male/heterosexual and I do not like ejaculation or achieving an orgasm, because, I learned, as a child, sperm cells die in such large quantities, that it bothers me I might literally be a murderer
Oh dear, we’ve skidded into a ditch.
because I am and once was a sperm cell literally, learning that concept in school never left me, and because of so, when it comes time to become intimate I explain that I do not want to ejaculate anything at all, and women truly turn me down even though I tell them it feels like I’m commuting MASS MURDER/GENOCIDE, because of how much life is in ejaculate
Dude, if you start yelling about SPERM GENOCIDE every time you’re about to have sex with someone for the first time, it’s not exactly a shock to hear that your potential partners nope right out.
sperm cells, are the only cells that create brains so that means they’re literally living things,
Sperm doesn’t create anything without the egg. Sperm cells are alive, but then again so is bacteria. Sperm aren’t sentient; they’re just cells.
I’m thinking you weren’t really listening carefully when your sed ed instructor in school came to, er, arrived at the topic of sperm.
I’m as afraid to lose Sperm as much as I am afraid to lose my own life and blood, so I never give out
Dude, I hate to break it to you but your body recycles sperm cells on regular basis even if you never ejaculate.
But that doesn’t make you an inadvertent mass murderer any more than ejaculating does. It’s just how your body works.
I do not care if they orgasm however.
I suppose it’s a good thing that you don’t blame women for being accessories to SPERM GENOCIDE and that you’re fine with them orgasming. But it sounds like you’re not making it to that point anyway because of some weird misunderstanding of what you were taught in sex ed.
Every sperm is not sacred, and you don’t need to act as if they are.
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There’s also the matter that millions of sperm are released with each ‘jac, yet only one or two ever reach the egg, and the fertilized egg sometimes dies anyway. A lot of the cells in our bodies just to exist for a short time and then die. Hair and the outer part of our skin is made of dead cells. Neutrophils (the most common form of white blood cell) have a life span of one week, and are incapable of reproducing. Red blood cells eject their nuclei very early in their short lifespans, and become arguably barely more alive than viruses, and in the end decay into bile. The lining cells of some organs have similarly short lifespans. Egg cells are reduced from a few million to roughly 10,000 by menopause. Even a large portion of fetal cells self-destruct, especially during the early growth stages, in order to form the shape which we exist in.
Constant, mass cell death is just part of being a big, complex being.
As someone who has a lot of symptoms of OCD, this way of thinking is sadly familiar. Obviously I can’t say for sure this guy has any kind of mental illness, but if he’s genuinely this distressed about it, that might be worth talking to a professional about.
A successful pregnancy means only one less sperm died. This guy needs to get a grip (and maybe move it up and down until he gets over this nonsense).
“Sperm genocide” sounds like a good name for a pornocore band.
Better not tell him how his testicles are constantly producing, culling and dismantling defective or unused sperm cells.
Kinda, sorta. But also, you were nothing at all without the egg. In conclusion, put your energy to better use.
This guy needs help. Lots of it.
There’s an apocryphal story about Elvis on a date where he suffered premature ejaculation, looked down, and mused, “look at all the babies we killed.”
I’d like to be a better man, and feel more sorry for this person than superior to him. As I am now, it’s ugly, cheap, and bespeaks a weakness in me that needs that little hit of superiority…the sort of weakness that would be great soil in which, say, misogyny or racism could flourish.
@Mañuel Laver: for what it’s worth, that’s a very human (and widespread) weakness. Just being aware of it and what it could lead to is a good step.