We Hunted The Mammoth
Hire me as an editor or writing coach! Check out what I have to offer at David-Futrelle.com
Worlds are colliding! Two of my obsessions have weirdly converged: while looking through the semen retention subreddit, one of my favorite sources of weirdo misogyny to write about, I ran across a post from someone who had used ChatGPT to write a poem celebrating semen retention.
Need an editor or writing coach? Get in touch with me!
Twitter’s @amerix, a self-professed guru on men’s health, has a lot of advice for men on a wide range of topics, including masturbation (“reckless ejaculation”), older women (“old camels”), carrying a woman’s purse (“treat her bags as a fatal infectious disease like leprosy”), and margarine (the devil’s toast spread).
Check out my new blog, My AI Obsession, and my latest post, Jesus on an iPhone
So my post last week about brains floating in semen got me thinking again about one of my old obsessions, the Semen Retention subreddit. And so I took my first peek into that strange place in a very long time, and it wasn’t long before I discovered an 1100-word manifesto on the subject of semen retention and female nature, so I thought I would share it with you. Not the whole thing; I’m no sadist. But some selected portions.
Just fucking wank it, ok? New research in the journal Sexualities discovered that people who engage with anti-masturbation communities tend to feel more suicidal after a perceived “relapse.”
I‘m not sure that Redditors are always getting the best possible advice from the Demons subreddit, a hangout for people who think literal demons are pestering them in real life.
Let’s take a break from doomscrolling with (another) little visit to the Land of Magic Sperm, also known as the Semen Retention subreddit.
The guys in the Semen Retention subreddit are just really, really, really into their own semen “the real Elixir of the human body.”
I‘ve been rooting around in the Semen Retention subreddit again, and the insights I’m gaining about the wondrous power of my precious bodily fluids … well, they’re actually pretty terrible and I’m fairly certain that none of them are true.
Itâs getting funky over in the Semen Retention subreddit. Not funky like James Brown funky. Funky as in musty teenager’s bedroom funky.
They’re back. The lusty demonesses, the soul-sucking succubi, even Mr. Scratch himself — they’ve all found their way once again to Reddit’s NoFap community. And the natives are having none of it.