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Men's Rights Redditors try to call out misogyny, fail (BONUS BIGOTRY: The misogyny caller-outer posts to the White Rights subreddit)

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So my post yesterday pointed out a rather extravagantly misogynistic post by the Men’s Rights Activist behind the blog Men Against Misandry. If you read it, you probably remember the money quote from his post, which he was so proud of he posted separately on Facebook:

If women sucked dick half as well as they suck at sports there would be no more divorces in the great US of A.

Today a new commenter here on Man Boobz, evidently an MRA irritated that I had quoted his comrade, posted a link to a discussion on the Men’s Rights subreddit that went up a couple of hours ago, and that specifically disavowed this quotation, declaring “This is NOT who we are, and this is NOT Okay.” The thread, when last I checked, had gotten nearly 800 upvotes from the Men’s Rights regulars.

I thought to myself, “wow, a rare moment of self-reflection, and self-policing, from MRAs!”

But then I started reading the comments.

Many of the Men’s Rights regulars seemed less bothered by the reference to blow jobs in itself than by the implication that better blow jobs would lower the divorce rate. Because, you see, most divorces are initiated by women for nefarious womanly reasons.

As JoshTheAspie put it:

JoshtheAspie 14 points 1 hour ago (16|2)  ... leaving aside any offense or outrage... what he's saying doesn't even make sense.  80% of divorces are initiated by women. How would them being better at sexually pleasuring husbands reduce the amount of divorce?      permalink     source     save     give gold     hide child comments  [–]1standarduser -1 points 1 hour ago (2|3)  happier men make better husbands which makes the women happier.  This is only assuming the 20 minutes of sucking is a lesser burden than 24hrs of an unhappy partner.

Meanwhile, here’s one of the top comments in the thread, and the discussion it spawned. Notice the reaction to sad_woman, after she offers a criticism of uberpower’s “argument.” Also, notice uberpower’s own reaction.

uberpower 30 points 1 hour ago (35|5)  Divorces will decrease when men's finances get gender-neutral protection.  Remove the divorce incentive for women, increase two parent families, increase the success of our nation's children.      permalink     source     save     give gold     hide child comments  [–]Pecanpig 6 points 1 hour ago (6|0)  The former would probably cause the latter.      permalink     source     save     parent     give gold  [–]sad_woman -16 points 44 minutes ago (4|20)  you people are seriously fucking warped. this sentiment is more offensive than the one in op's pic. i gotta go take a fucking shower after stepping into this place, christ      permalink     source     save     parent     give gold  [–]RZRtv 6 points 41 minutes ago (7|1)  gb2SRS plz.      permalink     source     save     parent     give gold  [–]uberpower 2 points 23 minutes ago (5|3)  Aww, you don't want to lose the right to entice a man then dump him for half of everything he's got?  Is your ex-man paying for your shower sweetie?      permalink     source     save     parent     give gold  [–]JimiJons 1 point 7 minutes ago (1|0)  Nothing about what he said is warped or offensive in the slightest. Perhaps you read it wrong, and simply reacted in an extraordinarily unwarranted manner.

If you’re puzzled by RZRtv’s cryptic comment, he is suggesting that sad_woman go back to the ShitRedditSays subreddit, a subreddit devoted to calling out various bigotries on Reddit, and which is regarded by most of Reddit with the same sort of wild-eyed horror and contempt with which Men’s Rightsers regard Man Boobz.

Knucker2, meanwhile, thought that the dick-sucking reference detracted from Men Against Misandry’s other truly valuable points:

knucker2 6 points 1 hour ago (7|1)  I agree. I think the phrase "its offensive* is an extremely weak criticism. It's more accurate and more persuasive to criticize this post for being unconstructive, intentionally inflammatory, and poorly communicating his point.  People are going to get distracted by the dick sucking reference and ignore the valuable points about double standards. If you are going to be inflammatory, then at least do it in a way that keeps people on topic. This is distracting.

As you may recall from my post yesterday, the main point of Men Against Misandry’s “argument” was that women suck at sports. Indeed, the title of his post was “Gender inequality in sports: male athletes paid more. (HINT: women’s sports suck)”

And then there was this enlightening exchange, featuring none other than A Voice for Men’s TyphonBlue and her signature brand of double-reverse whammy logic:

Young_Ocelot 4 points 1 hour ago (6|2)  Holy crap this looks really bad...I hope no one takes that and blanket applies it to the mindset of all men.      permalink     source     save     give gold     hide child comments  [–]typhonblue 1 point 1 hour ago (4|3)  Only idiots would extrapolate this to all men.  Now if the gender reverse was published in huffpo by a feminist writer... or similar sentiments were repeated over and over by numerous women... or if it was expressed to applause on a mainstream daytime tv show...

First of all, Young_Ocelot — who seems a bit naive even for a young ocelot — WHY WOULD YOU THINK ANYONE WOULD ASSUME ALL MEN THINK THIS WAY?! No one thinks that all men are raving misogynistic douchebags. However, there are quite a few people who think that a significant portion of Men’s Rights Activists are. For evidence, I would suggest reading, well, this post, or any of my other posts, or even the thread you were posting in.

And Typhon, poor deluded Typhon, do you really think that if someone wrote a HuffPost column arguing that if men were half as good at eating pussy as they were at sucking at sports the divorce rate would drop, they’d get applause? That doesn’t even make the slightest bit of sense.

And even if you adjust the “gender swap” a bit it doesn’t work. If men were half as good at eating pussy as they were at, I dunno, failing to ask for directions when they get lost while driving, there would be no divorce? Huh?

If Men’s Rights Activists were half as good at actually calling out their own misogyny as they are at loudly denying their misogyny while at the same time saying blatently misogynistic shit, well, I might have to shut down this blog.

EDITED TO ADD: BONUS BIGOTRY! The guy who posted the “this is not who we are” post to the Men’s Rights subreddit, our old nemesis Chris3992m,  also recently posted this in the White Rights subreddit. When he was called out for this on AgainstMensRights, he explained that “I only post when there are real issues of white discrimination.”

He also believes that “[m]ost whites during the slave era were actually treated WORSE than the slaves. They had to work for the slaves, because they couldn’t be bought and sold and were considered useless by slaveowners.”

EDITED TO ADD AGAIN: Since I wrote this post, more Men’s Rights Redditors have posted comments more directly disavowing the misogyny of the original “blowjob” quote. If they are sincere about trying to remove the stain of misogyny from the Men’s Rights movement, I would suggest that they also try to convince the subreddit’s mods to remove the links to blatantly misogynistic and hateful websites like A Voice for Men from the subreddit’s sidebar, and that they do a better job of policing the misogyny that pervades the subreddit, many examples of which can be found by looking through the Man Boobz archives for Reddit here.

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LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Yeah, don’t read the comments, guys, unless you want transphobia and transmisogyny out the wazoo.

cloudiah
8 years ago

I’m kind of leaning towards a recognizable marsupial (koala, kangaroo), but you can try to talk me into one of the less recognizable ones!

kittehserf
8 years ago

Borg thylacines would be awesome. They could do REVENGE!!!eleventy!

For all the writers here, this Manly Guys would have been apt last month. 🙂

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
8 years ago

That… that article is something. I’m not totally sure what it is, but it is definitely something.

I think my favorite was the table explaining the difference between markers and tokens. Apparently, buying someone a drink* and talking to them are masculine–and therefore superior–markers, while asking someone to coffee so you can talk to them and enjoy coffee together is a token where “one thing means another” and is feminine and bad.

This wasn’t even a big table; they were right next to each other.

… I have no fucking clue.

Also, on the idea of him writing this in a labcoat, this made me LOL, because people almost never write in their labcoats–the labcoats are for the lab, get hung up on the door on the way out, and the computer is usually in an office or cubical somewhere.

Also, some genes on the X chromosome don’t get shut off during X inactivation–most of which are also present on the Y, so they don’t require dosage compensation. If this were not true, people with Turner syndrome (X0) would be basically indistinguishable from XX people. However, this does likely explain why Turner syndrome is the only chromosomal disorder I can name that results from missing a whole chromosome**.

*I first typed “buying someone for a drink” which is I think a Freudian slip.

**Missing other chromosomes therefore likely leads to a non-viable embryo–and possibly even one that doesn’t make it to a stage to be studied.

cloudiah
8 years ago

How about a wombat?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Analyzing the drinks thing…

So, asking someone for a drink (of the boozy variety) means “Will you fuck me?”, therefore it’s perfectly clear and means what it means, therefore it is masculine and direct. Whereas “would you like to meet for coffee?” means “would you like to meet for coffee” and doesn’t indicate whether or not sexing is going to happen, therefore it is feminine and deceitful and doesn’t mean what it appears to mean.

cloudiah
8 years ago

Hey, did I hallucinate something about Weeboy having his surgery and it going well? I’ve been kind of hit and run in the comments lately. I hope I didn’t hallucinate that.

quequoi
quequoi
8 years ago

Wow, Titica is great! Her name makes me think of the lake in South America.
I am always looking for fun new music to dance to with my nieces (4 of them ages 2-7) While her video for Chao Chao may be a little grown up, I will be playing her tune and getting my dance on with some little girls this Xmas. 😀
Thanks, auggziliary!!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Again, I know I point this out every time, but the basic premise of misogynist arguments about (what they assume are) common dating practices is that all women should be sex workers, and that their rate should be $5-10 an hour. So if a man buys a woman a drink, regardless of whether or not she even wanted it, she then owes him 1-2 hours of sex, depending on how expensive the drink was.

kittehserf
8 years ago

cloudiah, no, you didn’t hallucinate that! I can’t remember which thread it’s in, though.

That whole “coffee” thing with its unclear meaning … Oh, so are they admitting now Elevator Guy wasn’t just saying “want a coffee?” to Rebecca Watson?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

What is it about YouTube that brings out people’s inner screeching ragemonkey? Even the comments on the most innocuous stuff (cat videos, music, makeup tutorials) end up full of assholery.

Bina
8 years ago

If you don’t want us to laugh at you, stop being so hilariously awful, and start raising awareness about male suicide, maybe raise some funds for homeless men, perhaps discuss how toxic ideas of masculinity are harmful to young boys.

Preach.

And I suggest starting with military suicides, which are now outnumbering combat deaths at a rate of (I believe I heard) 3 to 1. And don’t even CONTEMPLATE blaming war on feminism. We are not in Sparta, bucko. Women do not hand men their shields here with the admonition “With this or ON this!” Most feminists are ardent pacifists, recognizing all too clearly the macho roots of militarism and war. And we don’t buy the “gallantry” shibboleth, either. That was 100 years ago. It is now 100 years out of date.

quequoi
quequoi
8 years ago

Have you guys seen the videos of You Tube comments being voiced by classically trained actors?
Here’s one if you haven’t!

serrana
serrana
8 years ago

LBT, I just funded a borg-critter. I know we have a kitty, but I’m kind of leaning toward a borg-tiger, unless someone has a better idea.

quequoi
quequoi
8 years ago

Question? How does the Manboobz kittytariat feel about the word “guys”?
I just realized I threw that in there without thinking and thought I would ask.
Can’t remember seeing anything about it.
Thanks!

More importantly, Bina… YES!!!
Military suicides are awful. I have a few veterans in my family (all men) who served in Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan, and the things they suffer being back home are indescribably awful.

If I could find one group that defines itself as Men’s Rights Activists, that were actually fighting the bullshit gender binary because it hurts men, I would gladly volunteer some time.
Alas, all those groups I can think of are Feminist or Humanist groups.

kittehserf
8 years ago

I read that comment as confused, and saying kudos for the video, but not being a fan. I could easily be missing something!

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: CassandraSays

all women should be sex workers, and that their rate should be $5-10 an hour

It’s gross, isn’t it? And it’s just bizarre to me, since part of my hubby’s torrid youth was being the designated rebound guy for what seemed like an entire bar. The difference being, him and his one-night stands all seemed pretty happy at the deal and didn’t feel like it was a monetary exchange at all. He’d buy them drinks, and after a while, they started buying HIM drinks. It seemed a pretty… ‘fluid’ economy.

RE: Kittehs

I love Manly Guys Doing Manly Things. It cures my trans blues, and the creator is a cool person! (I got to meet her at a little con here earlier this year–she drew me things!)

RE: cloudiah

I’m cool with wombats!

Okay, so we’ve got a wombat, a Rex cat, a donkey, and a clown loach so far. I’ve received enough donations for SIX little cyborg critters now, and I didn’t get requests for two of them, so that’s two still up for grabs!

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Oop, never mind, serrana just called tiger! ONE left for grabs!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

@ LBT

It is gross, but on the plus side it makes them nice and easy to mock! They’re not a social justice movement, they’re just too cheap to hire a real sex worker.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Kittehs

I dunno, I wasn’t quite with the music either, but I wouldn’t describe it as ‘disturbing.’ That and the misgendering is the transphobic part.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: CassandraSays

Hubby over my shoulder says that he did his time as a volunteer, but he doesn’t expect career folks to do it for free.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I guess one’s perspective on this might be different if one had never encountered a volunteer…

Which doesn’t make their logic OK, it just makes it really easy for us to point and laugh.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

MRA class about toxic masculinity.

“So, toxic masculinity. It’s a good thing! The only reason anyone calls it toxic is because of misandry, and no, we’re not going to talk about how this ties in with poor healthcare outcomes for men. Any questions? No, not from you, we don’t allow girls to ask questions in this class.”

kittehserf
8 years ago

Would the misgendering come from people not knowing Titica (though “still not a fan” suggests that commenter does) or just seeing her presenting as a man and as a woman in the video?

Damn, this sounds more like I’m doing apologia than trying to tease it out. I’m thinking how I’d have seen the video before reading Manboobz, and I’d have assumed she was a guy cross-dressing, or even a drag act, if I’d known nothing about her.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Enh, I saw her specifically stated as a trans woman by other commenters. If someone can’t put that amount of effort in, it’s a dick move. Also, calling ANYONE a man/woman, unless they’ve specifically stated that they’re okay with it, is a douche move. If you’re that confused, you can damn well ask, rather than say “disturbing.”

Also, I watched most the vid and only saw her present female the whole time?

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