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Racist, sexist and sexually insecure is no way to go through life, alt-right dudes

Every alt-right dude’s worst nightmare

One thing you can say for alt-right dudes: They’re not shy about exposing their sexual insecurities to the world.

The only thing is: They don’t actually realize that’s what they’re doing.

Take the preening narcissist who posts pickup tips and racist diatribes on the internet as Heartiste. In a blog post today with the lovely title “Single White Women Want To Spread Their Legs For The World,” our boy Heartiste clearly thinks he’s delivered a masterful takedown of America’s insufficiently racist white ladies and their “betatized male” equivalents.

But all he’s really done is show how not-so-secretly terrified he is of what he sees as the superior sexual vitality of men with skin darker than his.

“[A] large chunk of America’s White men have spectacularly failed the dominance/ZFG [Zero Fucks Given] test,” Heartiste writes.

America the Shitlib Feminist Shrike has effectively neutered White men, and unmasked them for romantically unappealing doormats to single White women.

On behalf of all white men, I feel I must offer an apology for Heartiste’s terrible prose. He always writes like that, apparently convinced that nonsensical buzz-phrases like “America the Shitlib Feminist Shrike” are clever zingers of some sort.

But his writerly eccentricities can’t conceal the sexual insecurities saturating passages like these:

As women are wont by the essence of their sex to spread their legs for the dominant tribe’s men, they will wish to see tribal battles play out so that they may enjoy the luxury of choosing winners and their winning seed. The single White woman desire for open borders is nothing less than a desire for alpha male interlopers to test the mettle of their betatized male loafers. 

Apparently Heartiste is convinced that there’s no way to keep white women from choosing these (to him) obviously more appealing men of color.

For this reason, it was always a mistake to entrust the nation’s future to its native daughters, especially while in their pulchritudinous primes. Women are more xenophilic than men and this difference goes deep, all the way to the Darwinian pulses in the primal part of the brain that regulate reproductive algorithms. No logic, reason, accountability, or basic common sense can defeat such a primitive force.

The only way to keep white women from making choices Heartiste doesn’t like, he suggests, is to make sure they can’t choose at all.

Or, as he puts it, in his inimitable way,

There aren’t many solutions to this intractable cognitive block in women’s hindbrains that don’t require serious divestment from the recently operative political and social calculus.

His preferred solution is a bit Handmaid’s Tale-y.

  1. rescind suffrage and disenfranchise single White women
  2. get more White women married off and pregnant at younger ages
  3. break America into regional entities, diluting the single White woman vote
  4. convince married White women to socially ostracize single White women by any means necessary
  5. make divorce harder for women
  6. economically and socially incentivize early marriage (e.g., conduct a massive draw-down of women from the workforce and cease glorifying single momhood and tankgrrl careerism)
  7. ban abortion and contraceptives (good luck with that)

“Tankgrrl careerism?” Really? Apparently Heartiste’s idea of a clever cultural reference combines a movie that came out in 1995 with a musical movement that peaked slightly earlier than that.

But Heartiste’s final action point is my favorite:

execute a vast, mass propaganda psy ops involving reframing of contentious national question issues and other rhetorical gambits that constitute the heart of Game to reorient the acceptable opinion avenues by which single White women gain social status rewards so that they find value in claiming the opposite of the self-defeating open borders beliefs they comfortingly regurgitate for now. (whether he knows it or not, this is the Trump Option.)

No, I can’t translate that mess of verbiage into ordinary English. But I can — and I did — use Google Translate to translate it into an assortment of other languages and then back into English. Because why not?

Production advertising is largely dependent on large-scale and largely rhetoric and other dictionaries constitute the heart of the game, only free to participate in the reconstruction of the redistribution of social incentives for white women to accept the method of opinion found for the discovery of the value of the belief border claims, It overcomes the problems of ethnic issues for the same time this time. (Whether it is this option to know if you want Trump.)

Well, that’s no clearer than the original but, hey, it really isn’t any worse.

Heartiste wraps up his post with what he sees as an ominous warning:

[T]he way forward is for White men to retake control of their homeland and scoff at the precious political boilerplate their women solipsistically indulge.

I can tell you that if we refuse to tackle our shared single White women problem, the nonWhite invaders will tackle the problem for us.

Since “we” clearly won’t be “tackl[ing] our shared single White women problem” in the manner that Heartiste recommends, we can all look forward to many more badly written self-owns from this sexually insecure racist.

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EJ (Marxist Jazz Weasel)

Speaking as a professional of sorts, it is my opinion that Vantablack isn’t going to help you.

Let’s take the example of the Moon. The Moon is, as mentioned, black: it only reflects around 4% – 12% of incident light. Vantablack (according to Surrey Nanosystems’ website) reflects only 0.4% of incident light. In other words, something covered in Vantablack is going to appear around one-tenth as bright as the Moon. That’s still very visible – if you were in low orbit, people could see you with the naked eye if they were in an area with no light pollution.

If you got down to about 0.001% (two hundred and fifty times blacker that Vantablack) then it might make a difference. Even then, a telescope could pick you out – but we’d have to know where to point the telescope.

Basically, as long as you’re within the inner solar system, there’s pretty much nothing that you can do to avoid showing up on visible-light astronomy. The Sun is really bright, and the background is really dark. What colour you’re painted doesn’t help.

5 years ago


In other words, something covered in Vantablack is going to appear around one-tenth as bright as the Moon

Something seems slightly wrong there. A swift googling suggests the moon has an albedo of 0.12-ish, whereas vantablack has 0.00035. That’s a 500-fold difference, not a 10-fold one. Am I looking at the wrong the figures?

EJ (Marxist Jazz Weasel)

Huh. I googled and got the other figure, but some poking through Surrey Nanosystems’ page convinces me that your number is right.

0.00035 is slightly below the albedo of charcoal, which is coming on for very black indeed. It’d probably be visible through a telescope but not to the naked eye.
5 years ago

Never got a genderfluid vibe from Ranma. He just seemed like a young man who sometimes had a vagina, and like IRL transmen who haven’t had a chance to transition, he was able to tolerate wearing a skirt if it was important enough to do so.

Whatsherface, the junior detective from Persona 4, also seems like a case where people are reading LGBTQ themes into a character unintentionally. She’s just worried that her gender is an impediment to her career. The guy she keeps getting shipped with is in a similar boat; he’s terrified people will see him as an okama just because he has interests that aren’t traditionally masculine.

That sort of thing happens a lot. I’ve mentioned Chiaki from Danganronpa, whose death could look like the result of transphobic panic to a Western observer.

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Ohlmann, banned

Note that I have never though of Ranma himself as being genderfluid, since, you know, it’s against his will. Then again, I guess different people see different things.

Never got a genderfluid vibe from Ranma.

While I don’t speak for the others, Ranma’s genderfeels are largely beside the point.

5 years ago

Words words words – Heartiste

Not being a New Media Professional, I wonder: is there an ad-server setup that pays per (milli)second of eyeball time, not per click? That would explain the verbiage.

5 years ago

While I don’t speak for the others, Ranma’s genderfeels are largely beside the point.


5 years ago

okay, what the fuck is the bit about breaking up the country into “regional entities”? A) it already is… there’s at least 50 “regional entities” in the United STATES of America. B) How the fuck does that dilute anyone’s vote?

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