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Did devious feminists scare Janet "Judgy Bitch" Bloomfield's literary agent into dumping her? Or is she just terrible? [UPDATED]

Janet Bloomfield's agent exists, pursued by feminism. (Artist's conception.)
Janet Bloomfield’s agent exits, pursued by feminism. (Artist’s conception.)

UPDATE: Oh, the drama! Bloomfield now says her agent is back on board. Gosh, maybe she should have waited a few days before posting about how evil feminists scared him off? Nah. Much better to stir up a lot of shit about nothing, huh? Wow. Such public relations. So integrity.

Ah, sweet schadenfreude! Janet “Judgy Bitch” Bloomfield — A Voice for Men’s lying, harassing PR maven — has evidently been dumped by her literary agent.

According to Bloomfield, the agent she’d been working with for more than a year on a novel of some sort has decided to wash his hands of her. “Sadly,” she writes on her blog,

something has happened (I don’t know what) and my agent has decided to drop me as a client and forego any and all income the book might potentially generate. He does not wish to be named or acknowledged in any way.

Bloomfield, naturally, blames feminists. While admitting she actually has “no idea what spooked my agent,” the headline of her blog post declares that “a man decides feminists can ruin him and wisely opts to not engage.”

In her post, she expounds on this theory:

I do not question his decision at all. No one should have to sacrifice their career and livelihood.  I have always known resisting the tyranny of feminism would come with a price, but this is my battle and I do not require civilians to go down with me.

Huh. Bloomfield notes at the outset of her post that her agent was aware of her, er, “online activism” and had no issue with it. So what could have sent him scurrying off in another direction?

I mean, what on earth could it be?

Let’s look at some possibilities:

  1. Her novel is fucking awful.
  2. She’s a pain in the ass to work with.
  3. Her agent has discovered that her “activism” consists of gleefully libeling and harassing her opponents and has decided that just maybe he doesn’t want his name associated with such a terrible person.
  4. Her agent has read some of her blog posts — possibly including her multiple posts attacking rape victims, including the underage victims of Jimmy Savile, as “whores” — and has decided he doesn’t want his name associated with such a terrible person.
  5. Evil feminists have ordered the agent to stop representing her, even though she is a wonderful human being and her novel is totally awesome and a friend of hers has already created some “beautiful cover art.”
  6. All of the above, except that last one, because seriously.

I leave you to decide which of these options makes the most sense.

Oh, and while we’re talking schadenfreude, did I mention that my little blog gets more traffic than A Voice for Men?

H/T — r/againstmensrights

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freemage
7 years ago

I think you can emphasize that bit about her tendency to be libelous (#3) a bit more heavily. If anything is going to make a literary agent, already familiar with and accepting of the general subject of the book, flee in terror, that would be it. Tweets are one thing, but if her book contains the same sorts of demonstrably false statements, she could easily find herself on the wrong end of a lawsuit–and anyone associated with the work in question will be targeted as well, because that’s how the system works.

tomtom94speaks
7 years ago

Aw, Janet, you forgot to blame it on DARPA and illegal immigrants!

L
L
7 years ago

Do we know for a fact that JB ever had an agent? I can’t help wondering if maybe self-publishing was always her plan because she couldn’t get an agent, and this is just her way of saving face. You know, “evil feminists ruined my publishing deal” instead of “I can’t write for shit.”

Zolnier
Zolnier
7 years ago

Is it wrong that I’m kind of curious as to the nature of her novel?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

I’ll take “potential PR nightmare” for 500, Bob.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

Agreeing with L, she already has a very long history of making shit up out of whole cloth. I’d be surprised if he ever existed.

Dio
Dio
7 years ago

YOU THINK IT WAS FEMINISTS, BUT IT WAS ME, DIO!

Puddleglum
7 years ago

I vote for ‘agent finally got to read the draft and was horrified on multiple levels’.

alysonmiers
7 years ago

If she indeed ever had literary representation in the first place, I think Option #3 is the most likely. I don’t think much of anyone who’d even begin to represent JB, but even with a total lack of integrity, any agent with half a clue would see his client’s enthusiasm for libel and say, “NOPE.”

But I also think it’s even more likely that she just didn’t have an agent in the first place. Literary agents are notoriously swamped in prospective clients. There’s no shortage of decent reading material being thrown at agents. I was just about to ask if she’d supplied a name or agency, then saw that he supposedly doesn’t want to be named in any way. Naw, I’m leaning to the side of her never having had representation at all.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

Also, if he’s never given out his name or agency and she’d never even mentioned him before (as far as I know), just how did these evil feminists supposedly find him? Psychic powers?

Miss Andry
7 years ago

The feminist/gay/Jewish conspiracy strikes again!

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

M,
The Feminist High Council sees all and knows all. Didn’t you know that?

proxieme
proxieme
7 years ago

Oh, bygawd, even better:

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/mgc.gif

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

Here’s her breathless description of the novel and the literary agent, from the blog archives:

Now, in addition to the PhD and the blog, I decided to try my hand at writing a novel.

And true to form, I didn’t just write a novel – I was a complete asshole about it. I have combined present perfect and simple past tenses in a way that makes grammar Nazis go full bore Third Reich, but that perfectly imitates the way the tenses are used in spoken English. It’s in the first person, with multiple narrators and a fractured narrative. Sometimes the narrators change from one sentence to the next, and the narrative fractures from one paragraph to the next. My main protagonists are both men, and the story is set during wartime. Oh yeah, I have an omniscient narrator, too.

What do I know about men in combat? Men facing down an enemy? Men being the enemy? Men who face the choice between killing and being killed? Men who experience all the horror and joy and exhilaration and boredom and fear and courage and despair and invincibility and utter vulnerability of being at war?

What do I know about that?

Fuck all. But I know men. I begin with the assumption that every emotion, every feeling, every response, every reaction is a part of who they are as human beings.

So I did what few women do: I wrote a story with a male protagonist, set during war.

Think about that. When men write, they very commonly write female protagonists. From Anna Karenina to Madame Bovary to Lispeth Salander to Hester Prynne, men have always written deeply nuanced, fully realized, fully human women.

Women tend to write other women. Outside of genre fiction, they rarely write male protagonists.

So it’s unusual to have a woman write not just one, but two male protagonists.

Here’s my wonderful news: I have been accepted for representation by a literary agent in New York with a client list of some very big, prize-winning authors.

PhD

Book

Blog

Three children

Husband

Home

I simply can’t do it all. Something has to give.

Puddleglum
7 years ago

And true to form, I didn’t just write a novel – I was a complete asshole about it. I have combined present perfect and simple past tenses in a way that makes grammar Nazis go full bore Third Reich, but that perfectly imitates the way the tenses are used in spoken English. It’s in the first person, with multiple narrators and a fractured narrative. Sometimes the narrators change from one sentence to the next, and the narrative fractures from one paragraph to the next. My main protagonists are both men, and the story is set during wartime. Oh yeah, I have an omniscient narrator, too.

Gee, I wonder why she was dropped.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

Think about that. When men write, they very commonly write female protagonists. From Anna Karenina to Madame Bovary to Lispeth Salander to Hester Prynne, men have always written deeply nuanced, fully realized, fully human women.

Women tend to write other women. Outside of genre fiction, they rarely write male protagonists.

Ah, I get it now. She lives in an alternate Bizarro Universe. That explains literally everything she’s ever said.

deniseeliza
7 years ago

I’M A WOMAN AND I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT A MAN PRAISE ME SHOWER ME WITH ACCOLADES NOBEL PRIZE HERE I COME!!!!!

sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
7 years ago

Janet sweetheart there’s a reason that nobody before you has written a book where the narrator and narration switches several times a page unannounced, and that’s because it would never ever work. The reader would ragequit before the end of the first chapter.

Especially if the two characters and their situations are almost identical.

schwadevivre
7 years ago

An agent with big name authors picked up her option …

If he existed at all I wonder how much money she paid this con man up front?

Wetherby
Wetherby
7 years ago

Another possibility: she insisted that she handle the PR for her novel herself, and that this be made a contractual obligation for whichever publisher picked it up.

Falconer
Falconer
7 years ago

Omniscient, first-person narrator, the identity of whom changes from sentence to sentence. Oh my god.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

I love how she excludes “genre fiction.” With one fell swoop she manages to erase women who write male protagonists such as Agatha Christie, Mary Shelley, J.K. Rowling, Anne Rice, P.D. James, Martha Grimes etc. etc. until she becomes that lone special snowflake. Because gods know, the male perspective is missing in our culture and we need JB to come along and fix that.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Another possibility: she insisted that she handle the PR for her novel herself, and that this be made a contractual obligation for whichever publisher picked it up.

If you don’t buy my book, you’re a WHORE! That reviewer who didn’t like my book? A WHORE! Why don’t they like me? They’re such WHORES!!!

saphy
saphy
7 years ago

Merciful God that novel announcement…

Maybe this is just part of a plot to encourage crowdfunding for this shit. Like “oh wow my novel gonna be AMAZE and there is a publisher and everything is great (end on foreboding note)”

Suddenly: “o no ebil feminists taken my novel away poor me it is totes real what shall I do?”

Next stage:
“Everybody plz crowdfund my novel or else the feminists win (YOU NOW KNOW WHAT THEY ARE CAPABLE OF) but crowdfunding this shall defeat the feminists! ”

I bet ten cat videos that this is her next step.

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