Categories
a voice for men a woman is always to blame advocacy of violence all about the menz antifeminism boner rage domestic violence empathy deficit evil sexy ladies evil wives excusing abuse imaginary oppression irony alert marriage strike men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny MRA nice guys patriarchy playing the victim rape rape culture

A Voice for Men writer laments: "Since the advent of ‘marital rape,’ sex is no longer a loving duty, so it has become whim and weapon."

Caution: RIng does not transform "no" into "yes."
Caution: Ring does not transform “no” into “yes.”

Has A Voice for Men just declared itself in favor of marital rape?

In the midst of a long and otherwise fairly tedious piece complaining about wives asking their husbands to do their fair share of the chores, Clint Carpentier offers some rather startling thoughts on marital rape laws, and how he thinks they help to make marriage a losing proposition for modern men.

In the good old days, he writes, “sex was a wifely duty she was obligated to provide as per the terms of marriage.” But “since the advent of ‘marital rape,’ sex [in marriage] is no longer a loving duty, so it has become whim and weapon … .”

Yep. Apparently “being raped by your husband” is really just a way to fulfill your “loving duty” as a wife.

So, Carpentier concludes, if wives demand that you do the chores around the house, and you can’t rape them at will, what’s the point of even having one in the first place? After all, he argues, in an age of washing machines and readymade meals chores are easy, and men can get “once per day of blasé sex” from “any street-hooker” or splurge on “mind-blowing sex once a week [from] a well trained call-girl.”

And so, he writes,

If women are demanding that their husbands do their “fair share” of the chores, then why do men need wives at all? In man’s attempt to make their wives lives easier, they have reduced the wifely duties to next to non-existent. Why, women? Why oh why would you drive those final coffin nails of obsolescence in? Aside from children, there’s no benefit left to having a wife.

Well, if the only “benefits” you can see in having a wife are someone who will do the cooking and cleaning and whom you can rape at will, then, no, there is no benefit to you in having a wife now that marital rape is illegal. And there is certianly no benefit to any woman in marrying or dating or possibly even being in the same room as you.

Where have all the good men gone? Well… where have all the good women gone?

That’s right: A man who considers marital rape to be a husband’s right honestly thinks that he’s one of the good ones.

AVFM’s Paul Elam loves to rail against the evils of traditionalism and chivalry. Interesting that marital rape is one element of traditionalism he apparently has no problem with.

239 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
8 years ago

So… abusers’ lobby much?

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

Plus, if she’s the sort of high-end worker they’re fantasising about, even if they could afford her services (unlikely) she’d be in a position to turn them down.

Yes, and she’d be one of the few women in the trade who can, at that.

But that’s so typical of the way these dickweeds think…they want free housework AND free (or very cheap) sex, from a woman who can’t say no. And they will bend heaven and Earth to make it so that no woman can refuse with impunity. They aren’t just the abusers’ lobby, they are the abusers, period.

Kim
Kim
8 years ago

I haven’t read all the comments yet, so apologies if I’m repeating someone.

‘We have entered an age where marital rape and beating one’s wife is outlawed.’

‘Here’s a simple solution to that one – don’t get married.’

I’ve never understood this logic. “It’s illegal to break your kids arm if they screw up these days, so here’s an easy solution; obey your parents.”
“It’s illegal to form gangs these days, but here’s a solution; don’t live in cities where there might be gangs.”

I read it more as “If you know you can’t stop yourself from doing something bad, then remove yourself from temptation.” So if you’re the sort of person who wants to beat and rape their wife, then don’t have a wife and you won’t be tempted to break the law.

But that assume the simple solution is for the wife-beater, not for the wife.

entropistanon
8 years ago

“Why oh why would you drive those final coffin nails of obsolescence in?”

I should ask him the same question.

Regardless, I think that it’s a little silly of him to assume women are so afraid of being obsolete and of no service to men that they would subject themselves to an agreement that demands they have sex when they don’t want to and take on the bulk of household chores unfairly. I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that women are not so into marriage that they think trading their autonomy and ability to raise protest for it is a good idea.

Ally S
8 years ago

I have sad news for these guys…even if they could afford a “well-trained call girl”, there is still the salient fact that she doesn’t want them any more than the next (unpaid) woman does. She’s just a better actress. Period.

Plus, if she’s the sort of high-end worker they’re fantasising about, even if they could afford her services (unlikely) she’d be in a position to turn them down.

Yes, and she’d be one of the few women in the trade who can, at that.

And she might be able to throw them out and ban them if they’re too insufferable.

The only thing this conversation is missing is evil cackling.

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

And she might be able to throw them out and ban them if they’re too insufferable.

Which we just know they would be. Anything with a constant, priapic rageboner is Bhad Nhews.

kittehserf
8 years ago

Bina, exactly. They’re just a bunch of Gorean wannabes, even the ones who’ve never heard of the damn series. Utterly contemptible, the lot of them. Even if any given MRA hasn’t abused someone, he’s an enabler, giving abusers aid and comfort – a collaborator, you might say.

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

(evil cackle)

kittehserf
8 years ago

The only thing this conversation is missing is evil cackling.

The wind howled. Lightning stabbed at the earth erratically, like an inefficient assassin. Thunder rolled back and forth across the dark, rain-lashed hills. The night was as black as the inside of a cat. It was the kind of night, you could believe, on which Gods moved men as though they were pawns on the chessboard of fate. In the middle of this elemental storm a fire gleamed among the dripping furze bushes like the madness in a weasel’s eye. It illuminated three hunched figures. As the cauldron bubbled an archaic voice shrieked: “When shall we three meet again?!!”

There was a pause.

Finally another voice said, in far more ordinary tones: “Well I can do next Tuesday.”

Wyrd Sisters, Terry Pratchett

augochlorella
8 years ago

@ auggziliary

No, I haven’t talked to my mom about it. I’m not living with her right now, and quite frankly I’d rather debate a cactus with my face than get into an argument with my mom about gender issues. She doesn’t handle disagreements well. A year ago I called her out when she said men who smoked marijuana were more likely to have female children because it “feminizes” the sperm. She’s still talking to our relatives behind my back about how I disrespected her and didn’t appreciate the wisdom she gave me.

Fistful of Ebola
Fistful of Ebola
8 years ago

“So now we get to the meat of the topic”

…this guy had to spend two-thirds of his article ranting in order to set-up what the supposed point of that was? I don’t think he’s very good at this “writing” thing.

AK
AK
8 years ago

“Why oh why would you drive those final coffin nails of obsolescence in?”

I should ask him the same question.

Regardless, I think that it’s a little silly of him to assume women are so afraid of being obsolete and of no service to men that they would subject themselves to an agreement that demands they have sex when they don’t want to and take on the bulk of household chores unfairly. I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that women are not so into marriage that they think trading their autonomy and ability to raise protest for it is a good idea.

No kidding. This is the hardest thing about these guys’ worldview for me to understand, why they think it’s a threat at all. It’s the same with the MGTOWers. They act like it’s such punishment to remove themselves from the dating pool…but if my choices are being alone or being with a misogynist who expects me to be a sex slave, I’ll take being alone every time.

Salacious
8 years ago

@ augochlorella

Sometimes mothers can be really sexist. I know my mom thinks she’s all enlightened because she can do anything a man can do. But growing up with an older brother I was subjected to her sexism first hand. I still remember her telling me that if I got pregnant she would kick me out of the house. My brother was given free rein over his sexuality, though.

Ally S
8 years ago

Weed has a feminizing effect? I guess I need to start smoking a bowl a day, then.

(Just kidding. I don’t like being like a zombie all the time.)

Salacious
8 years ago

I’ve heard that myth about men having more girl babies because of weed. Seems like horse shit to me, and even were it the case is that so bad?

La Strega
8 years ago

A little while ago, Sunshine Mary posted her take on a wife’s obligation to provide sex on husband’s demand “In Defense of Duty Sex”

http://sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com/2013/11/08/in-defense-of-duty-sex/

Close your eyes and think of England!

alternatesteve90
8 years ago

@Ally S.: So sorry to hear about what your father did. Hugs, if you want them. =(

kittehserf
8 years ago

Weed has a feminizing effect? I guess I need to start smoking a bowl a day, then.

(Just kidding. I don’t like being like a zombie all the time.)

Getting the munchies when all you eat is brains would be really bad.

As for sperm being feminised … how does one tell? Do they start wearing pink?

Salacious
8 years ago

OMG LaStrega her post made me almost barf:

Having sex with someone you aren’t attracted to is probably a fairly revolting experience, but if you are married (which is the only morally-licit situation for pursuing sex), you don’t have a choice.

freemage
freemage
8 years ago

Some mental floss. Apparently, the Furrinati have decided that enough is enough when it comes to this Jesus-come-lately fellow–they’d been worshipped for 3,000 years before he came along, after all:

http://i.imgur.com/04SHJfb.jpg

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

I’m not caught up, but Mnemosyne, having dated a narcissist, I hear you about them being not nice people to be around. And iirc from my undergrad days, antisocial personality disorder gets most of the research funding from the gov’n because of the link to crime (it basically being required to be Dx’ed). But then there are those with personality disorders who are perfectly nice people to be around.

It’ sloth It’s both the armchair psych (as you said, can’t Dx without meeting them) and the implications of saying they think this shit because of a personality disorder — even if they do have a personality disorder, which surely doesn’t include most of the people who think a husband can’t rape his wife, that doesn’t let them off the hook for being terrible people, nor does it mean they can’t STFU and not spread their disgusting views.

I get twitchy cuz, among other things, I’m bipolar with PTSD — supposedly we’re all dangerous and likely to go postal right? That’s how the media portrays us? (That or broken soldiers, but that’s rant for another day!) Only person I’ve ever hurt, outside my brother when we were small (and run of the mill sibling shit, he got me good a few times too), is myself. I’m a danger to no one else, and thus get cranky when I see assholery being explained as mental illness. No, plenty of us manage to not be assholes!

I’d love to discuss the intersection of psych and law with you sometime though, avoiding getting committed is always on my todo list >.<

kittehserf
8 years ago

La Strega – it’s telling that this lot always ignore that the husband isn’t supposed to say “no” either, isn’t it? Plus the idea that you don’t impose on your spouse when you know they’re not interested. The whole idea of duty sex sucks, but the misogynists make damn sure to leave out whatever nuance it had in the original texts.

kittehserf
8 years ago

Freemage, yay! I could totally get behind Kitmas celebrations. I got to do two bits of Furrinati worship today – a lovely Airedale who’s all “Hello, human! Can I lick your hand? Now can I chew your sleeve? Yay!” and a sweet tuxedo kitty.

Also, Katie was reminding us of Her status as a goddess the other day. Came in and sat on the table at breakfast in Her best Egyptian cat pose, and gave us (that’s Louis and me) the beady-eyed look. Just expecting Her to help Herself from our plates wasn’t good enough, obvs, so we had to make an offering on Her plate.

Louis did the little bow that goes with saying namaste, too. He knows his place.

Ally S
8 years ago

Getting the munchies when all you eat is brains would be really bad.

This is probably how I would behave as a high zombie:

“I NEED BRAAINNSSSS! Wait, what did I just say? Whatever, I’m taking a nap.”

misery
misery
8 years ago

If women are demanding that their husbands do their “fair share” of the chores, then why do men need wives at all? In man’s attempt to make their wives lives easier, they have reduced the wifely duties to next to non-existent. Why, women? Why oh why would you drive those final coffin nails of obsolescence in? Aside from children, there’s no benefit left to having a wife.

While this seems fairly sociopathic, he is correct in that he probably should not get married. It strikes me as similar to how when racists wax on about how they won’t let black people into their lives, that one can be prone to agreeing with them simply out of concern for whatever black person that might come in their path. Although I doubt that MGTOW types would be content with simply avoiding women, many of them seem more likely to search for ways to actively spite them.

%d bloggers like this: