Now, some WEAK ASS BETA MANGINAS think that you shouldn’t deliberately annoy waitstaff because, you know, they’re human beings like you and me simply trying to get through their work day, and why the fuck would you want to deliberately make their lives worse for no good reason, that sounds kind of pointlessly rude, I mean what the hell’s wrong with you? Heck, even I used to think that. But that was before I discovered the RED PILL subreddit.
That’s right, ALPHA DOGS, we’re returning to that wondrous place we first visited last month to learn some more TIGHT ASS GAME to use on the hot babes. Specifically, we’re going to be learning some TIGHT-ASS KNIFE GAME. No, I’m not talking about stabbing anyone, fellas, except maybe “stabbing” some hot young babe with your you-know-what later, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge nudge?
(You do know what I mean, right? By “you-know-what” I mean your penis, and I’m trying to suggest that if you master KNIFE GAME you may later have the opportunity to have consensual sexual intercourse with a young woman, which is something that someone might colloquially refer to as “stabbing” due to the regular thrusting of the penis into the vagina that is a central feature of coitus.)
Anyway, KNIFE GAME involves actual knives. DINNER KNIVES, whoooo!
I learned all about it from a cool Red Pill dude called ATowne who wrote up a totally ALPHA DOG FIELD REPORT for his RED PILL ALPHA BUDDIES about how he totally scored some points with some totally hot waitresses and like even got one of their NAMES!
Because waitresses love customers who take advantage of the leverage they have over them as customers to just fuck with them. And they especially love it when these customers are ALPHA DOG ASSHOLES trying to get into their PANTS. Because that is such a TOTALLY ORIGINAL MOVE as well as being ALPHA AS FUCK. Trust me, NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT BEFORE. Except maybe a couple of these RED PILL ALPHA DOGS.
Unfortunately, some of ATowne’s BLUE PILL friends kept cock-blocking him and calling him a douche and apologizing to the waitresses for his behavior but it didn’t matter because it didn’t stop him from having this totally awesome INTERACTION WITH A WOMAN:
Cute waitress comes by and I decide to focus on her. She brings me a fork for my salad and I smile and say “no knife?” After a little back and forth she comes back with the knife and I get her name. A little while later I call her over, give her the knife and say “I don’t need it, I’m eating a salad.” She smiles at first, then looks frustrated and as she’s walking away “nice way to get my name…”
I’m the only one of the group who actually goes and talks to girls, so my life is the center of conversation almost always. They are talking about how I am an asshole, making the poor waitress take time out of her busy day to bring me a fucking knife. Are you serious? Anyway, cute waitress is ignoring my table and eye contact, but I can see her looking at my peripherally. I stop caring and talk to my friends and then catch her slipping while she’s walking because she was ‘looking away’ (directly where she was going) but peripherally looking at me. …
I see the cute waitress as I’m leaving and say “hey, don’t take the knife stuff personally.” She says “I know, I was kidding.” I follow up with “Okay, I’m ____, see you around.” Cringe.
Cringe, man, THAT IS totally fucking ALPHA!
Also, what kind of name is “____?” A totally fucking ALPHA name is all I know!
I found this wonderful RED PILL field report via the Blue Pill subreddit, which is sort of an awesome tribute to the RED PILL subreddit, though I am beginning to suspect that some of the people there do not fully understand the totally BADASS nature of the RED PILL PHILOSOPHY.
EDITED TO ADD: I forgot about this TOTALLY RAD scene from the movie “Made” in which ALPHA DOG Vince Vaughn demonstrates some ALPHA MOVES with a flight attendent who is obviously totally into him. Watch and learn, beta fools!
I’ve been telling Mum our spider horror stories and she’s contributed this: back when my brother lived at home he used to sleep in a bungalow out the back in summer, and come inside in winter. One year Mum went to take down the bungalow curtains to wash them. As soon as she moved them, clouds of tiny spiders started drifting out to the floor.
Mum levitated out of the bungalow and decided the curtains didn’t really need a wash after all.
The spider conversation reminded me of something I found on pinterest.
TW: Looks like giant spider, but is NOT a giant spider.
http://media-cache-ec2.pinimg.com/736x/7a/68/2d/7a682daf5a927dbf875f128cd388bd80.jpg
I am so glad that almost all of the spiders in southern Alberta are tiny and harmless. Of course that doesn’t stop me from reacting to them as if they were giant, deadly beasts. I see a spider as big as my thumb nail and I think “holy giant spider, Batman! Somebody kill it!”
Thankfully there were no spider dogs when I was passing out candy in my pirate costume, I might have had to wield my plastic sword! (I did have basically everyone from the Avengers, a kid in a wheelchair [notable only because he looked a tad dismayed until I got off the steps and went to him] and a couple very small kids pick blow pops, I slipped their mothers’ candy of the more child friendly variety!)
And a ninja, I let him win the pirates vs ninjas debate 🙂
David, movies have been made out of sillier premises, certainly. I will sell you the rights.
So the funny thing at the time was that I thought, “Wow, I’m terrified of spiders and I still managed to keep control of the car” whereas my (then) boyfriend thought, “Wow, you swerved slightly without endangering us or anyone else and YOU ARE A TERRIBLE DRIVER” and started telling jokes about how women are terrible drivers every time we hung out with other people.
This is why I am a feminist. 😉
Oh gods, giant spider puppy!
Though come to think of it, if real spiders had cute doggy faces* and paws they wouldn’t be half so scary. I think.
*and two eyes. None of this multiple eyes stuff, thank you.
cloudiah, I hope you put legos where your boyfriend would walk on them!
David, how much are you paying for movie rights? I’m sure I could think up something. 🙂
Like the time my sister saw a spider and jumped out of a moving car must be worth something.
Sounds like we share a sister, neuroticbeagle!
What was that famous film from the 50s or 60s where the world was being taken over by pod people? Ended with the hero shouting on the freeway “You’re next! You’re next!” I think. Something along those lines about the Furrinati/Great Furry Ones would have to be a goer.
Invasion of the Bodysnatchers, that was it. We could do Invasion of the Couchsnatchers.
LOL. She also snatches beds, but wants somebody in it with her. I think she sees me as her personal heating pad. (Actually, since she likes to go under the covers, it works out pretty well for both of us).
Hmm … Invasion of the Comfyspotsnatchers?
Doesn’t have quite that ring to it, really …
you’re right. Invasion of the Couchsnatchers it is.
Or if we wanted to go Lovecraft, the Call of Cfurlthu? Cthulfur?
That’s starting to sound like someone hacking up a furball. Apt.
Oh, crap, the full post is even more hilarious! Half of it is the guy ranting about how mad he is at his friend for apologizing to the waitress. Because that waitress was totally going to sleep with him.
Not even the Red Pill commenters are impressed by this display of alphadom. Sample comment:
And asking a waitress for a knife for your salad then waving her over to give it back is not game. You are not alpha…you are eating a fucking SALAD at a sports bar. Get some extra hot wings you damn beta male.
Tangentially, wow, these dudes are way too into going to the gym.
She doesn’t hack up fur balls, however she does snore. Loudly.
Hot wings, the world’s most useless “food,” are alpha. Salad, which is actually good for you, is beta.
I think they are on the South Park Diet. Cheesy Poofs and soda are so totally alpha.
I’m growing 12 different kinds of greens in my yard to feed the femocracy. Under my regime, alpha dogs won’t even have access to knives to eat their baby mesclun mix with chiogga beets and golden fennel. And facebook will ban all photos of hot wings!
(whoa, unintended pun! *happy dance*)
“She doesn’t hack up fur balls, however she does snore. Loudly.”
“The Call of Cthulfurzzzzxxxxxxxsnorkzzzzzzzzzzzzhu”
Oh, Maude, cloudiah found that hembling definition!
It’s here: http://manboobz.com/2013/04/11/the-slut-who-got-ugly-and-sad-the-manospheres-favorite-fairy-tale/comment-page-5/#comment-311643
Oh sweet! I really think it should enter the manboobz vocabulary.
It certainly should. It describes what soooo many MRAs do.
cloudiah said she’s doing a blog post on the Manboobz Dictionary when she gets a chance. 🙂
‘…. but I can see her looking at my peripherally’. Is that a new word for penis or something? Anyway my two bit worth is what a creep and his story was just embarrassing. I used to wait tables and most of the blokes were a nightmare. So full of their own self importance trying to chat you up with truly horrendous one liners and every time they left the diner, they’d look back at me like they’d made my day or had made a lasting impression on me. Yeh it was a lasting impression alright. Never to be your damn waitress again.
You should all check out the Hooters thread on MGTOW. Some of the guys actually go in there and take a book with them and apparently they really believe it upsets the waitresses because they aren’t gawping at them/eyeing them up. I mean how immature can you be? So you’d pay money for crappy food and bring a book because in your imaginary fucked up male world, you really think they’re standing there pissed off with you? How delusional ARE these morons??? The rest of the comments on that thread are just excruciatingly pitiful but worth the odd snigger or two.
“‘…. but I can see her looking at my peripherally’. Is that a new word for penis or something?”
All I can say is, thank goodness I wasn’t drinking when I read that!
“How delusional ARE these morons???”
How big is infinity?