Now, some WEAK ASS BETA MANGINAS think that you shouldn’t deliberately annoy waitstaff because, you know, they’re human beings like you and me simply trying to get through their work day, and why the fuck would you want to deliberately make their lives worse for no good reason, that sounds kind of pointlessly rude, I mean what the hell’s wrong with you? Heck, even I used to think that. But that was before I discovered the RED PILL subreddit.
That’s right, ALPHA DOGS, we’re returning to that wondrous place we first visited last month to learn some more TIGHT ASS GAME to use on the hot babes. Specifically, we’re going to be learning some TIGHT-ASS KNIFE GAME. No, I’m not talking about stabbing anyone, fellas, except maybe “stabbing” some hot young babe with your you-know-what later, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge nudge?
(You do know what I mean, right? By “you-know-what” I mean your penis, and I’m trying to suggest that if you master KNIFE GAME you may later have the opportunity to have consensual sexual intercourse with a young woman, which is something that someone might colloquially refer to as “stabbing” due to the regular thrusting of the penis into the vagina that is a central feature of coitus.)
Anyway, KNIFE GAME involves actual knives. DINNER KNIVES, whoooo!
I learned all about it from a cool Red Pill dude called ATowne who wrote up a totally ALPHA DOG FIELD REPORT for his RED PILL ALPHA BUDDIES about how he totally scored some points with some totally hot waitresses and like even got one of their NAMES!
Because waitresses love customers who take advantage of the leverage they have over them as customers to just fuck with them. And they especially love it when these customers are ALPHA DOG ASSHOLES trying to get into their PANTS. Because that is such a TOTALLY ORIGINAL MOVE as well as being ALPHA AS FUCK. Trust me, NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT BEFORE. Except maybe a couple of these RED PILL ALPHA DOGS.
Unfortunately, some of ATowne’s BLUE PILL friends kept cock-blocking him and calling him a douche and apologizing to the waitresses for his behavior but it didn’t matter because it didn’t stop him from having this totally awesome INTERACTION WITH A WOMAN:
Cute waitress comes by and I decide to focus on her. She brings me a fork for my salad and I smile and say “no knife?” After a little back and forth she comes back with the knife and I get her name. A little while later I call her over, give her the knife and say “I don’t need it, I’m eating a salad.” She smiles at first, then looks frustrated and as she’s walking away “nice way to get my name…”
I’m the only one of the group who actually goes and talks to girls, so my life is the center of conversation almost always. They are talking about how I am an asshole, making the poor waitress take time out of her busy day to bring me a fucking knife. Are you serious? Anyway, cute waitress is ignoring my table and eye contact, but I can see her looking at my peripherally. I stop caring and talk to my friends and then catch her slipping while she’s walking because she was ‘looking away’ (directly where she was going) but peripherally looking at me. …
I see the cute waitress as I’m leaving and say “hey, don’t take the knife stuff personally.” She says “I know, I was kidding.” I follow up with “Okay, I’m ____, see you around.” Cringe.
Cringe, man, THAT IS totally fucking ALPHA!
Also, what kind of name is “____?” A totally fucking ALPHA name is all I know!
I found this wonderful RED PILL field report via the Blue Pill subreddit, which is sort of an awesome tribute to the RED PILL subreddit, though I am beginning to suspect that some of the people there do not fully understand the totally BADASS nature of the RED PILL PHILOSOPHY.
EDITED TO ADD: I forgot about this TOTALLY RAD scene from the movie “Made” in which ALPHA DOG Vince Vaughn demonstrates some ALPHA MOVES with a flight attendent who is obviously totally into him. Watch and learn, beta fools!
Yeah, I can see how “and then he killed a (human) huntsman with his fork in the restaurant” might have raised the eyebrows a bit. Australia isn’t THAT scary.
That makes me think of the Bruces dining at the canteen at the University of Woolloomooloo* and settling philosophical differences with forks.
*which is a real place; it’s a suburb of Sydney.
pollydactyl – huntsmen are scary-big spiders. Spread out they can be hand-size. They’re not dangerous, though. I hate to say it, but they’re not just here. There are species all over the world, including warmer parts of the US, where they seem to have been introduced accidentally (another reason to stay away from Florida).
I’m just laughing at the idea that Kittehs sees a man kill another man with a fork in a restaurant, and what really bothers her is that the guy also committed adultery. Which is what I would also have pictured, except I’ve heard her talking about huntsmen spiders before.
Hey, I have my priorities! 😀
Woolloomooloo is a fantastic place name. And I come from the land of Humptulips and Walla Walla.
That is way too big! I am not very afraid of spiders and I regularly catch them and put them outside when I find them in the house ( I don’t like to kill them) but I could not deal with that. I am nowhere near Florida, fortunately. And now I should really stop procrastinating and go back to studying for my finals 🙁
Good luck with the studies and exams, pollydactyl! 🙂
Walla Walla would fit in just fine as an Oz place name. We have Wagga Wagga, they could be a matched set.
Humptulips sounds like someone’s taken their tulip-mania way too far …
Yo Katz! Me too.
I’ve been working with a large map collection, and I’m starting to collect funny place names. (Who knew Canadians were so fond of naming places using the word “rump?” They also have a Little Butt lake.) Humptulips is wonderful, as is Woolloomooloo.
Pollydactyl, STUDY!!!!! We’ll still be here when your exams are done.
Ok, I REALLY hate spiders, so yes, gross, but at least I could finish eating without running to shower in case it was on me (yes I realize it’s big enough I’d totally know, no, it doesn’t matter)
But clearly he wasn’t a decent person, just good at spider control.
Tangentially, kitteh, where you wearing a shit ton of shiny rings while that cowfish was biting someone else? I’m thinking it may’ve associated shiny with bigger than me and can hurt me. I mean, they have some chompers in there, but they aren’t really predators, so they must have some.
Thanks! You are all great 😀 One last thing: the best place name near me is Rancho Cucamonga. I think Woolloomoloo wins though.
Yep, looks like it’s main predators have shiny undersides. Funniest thing here is that African dwarf puffers seem to like shiny, and none of my fish are terribly put off by my rings. (Of course, mine are either many generations captive bred, and cool with humans, or wild caught and terrified of us [well, mostly, the loaches are skidish but don’t panic until you out a hand/net in the tank])
That’s interesting about them reading as danger signs to the fish! I might have had a couple of the tighter plain ones on, but I’m pretty sure I’d have taken most of them off. They had jewels on for one thing (amethyst and marcasite – what Goth goes without those?) and some of them were pretty loose, so I didn’t want to lose them.
Ruins my Cat Vibes story, but maybe replaces it with Goth Vibes instead! 😀
Trigger Warning, Oh Trigger Warning!!!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
In Texas, your vagina is property. If someone pays for it and you don’t hand it over, they get to shoot you without going to jail.
Is this the famed Penis Pass?
Gods, yes, I saw that on Raw Story this morning.
I once read a funny stat (which was probably made up, but still funny) that huntsmen caused more human deaths than any other kind of spider, because they crawl into people’s cars and scare them so much they crash.
@cloudiah
We are the champions
Jesus fuck at the Texas story!!!
MordsithJ – that’s a conversation I’ve had with friends and family who’ve had the things appear in their cars and nearly gone off the road. Didn’t know about the deaths-by-spider claim but we’d be willing to bet that plenty of unexplained road accidents were caused by spiders.
MordsithJ, I used to own a car with a hand crank sunroof that had a somewhat dodgy seal around the edges. Once, on the first nice day of Spring, I took a drive with my then boyfriend on a famously windy mountain road in our area, and he said, “Hey it’s a beautiful day, let’s open the sunroof!” Which he did. At which point the family of spiders who’d been nesting in there slowly descended upon us.
I am still amazed that I did not drive us off the road to our fiery deaths.
Shadow – great names!
From the charts I correct I can think of two weird names offhand – Bing Bong and Cape Cretin.
cloudiah –
AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
That is all.
Cloudiah, I would like to buy the film rights to your last comment.
I am still giggling at “Forget Saskatchewan.”