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Just another lazy Saturday on the Semen Retention subreddit

By David Futrelle

Fellow penis-havers and potential semen retainers! The resaon you find it so difficult to refrain from cranking your hog is *checks notes* WITCHES!

Jews eschew masturbation because they want to rule the world, antisemitic Semen Retainers allege

March 4, 2020

· 71 Comments

Sometimes the Red Pill comes emblazoned with a swastika

By David Futrelle

We’ve watched as the more misogynistic offshoot of the Men’s Rights movements known as MGTOW has gotten more Nazified over the last several years — more friendly to alt-right memes, more open to Nazi ideology. Given that the Men Going Their Own Way is rooted in the hatred of women, it’s not surprising to see so many MGTOWs open to other forms of hate; hate often comes in clusters.

“Women over 30 shouldn’t interest you unless you have an impure, sexually perverted mind,” declares man obsessed with his own semen

February 6, 2020

· 82 Comments

By David Futrelle

Just like Men Going Their Own Way, who can’t stop talking about the women they’re ostensibly “going their own way” from, militant NoFappers can’t stop obsessing over the sexual appeal (or alleged lack thereof) of the women they’re definitely not masturbating over.

Women are only attracted to men who retain their semen, man who retains his semen declares

December 21, 2019

· 47 Comments

Dude must be filled to the brim with semen

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By David Futrelle

It’s nearly Christmas, and so I’ve decided to give myself an early present by giving in to my strange fascination with the Semen Retention subreddit, again.

The Semen Retention subreddit is leaking (and not how you think)

November 1, 2019

· 28 Comments

By David Futrelle

A cryptocurrency guru who calls himself Crypto de Medici is celebrating the start of #NoNutNovember by bringing the gospel of Semen Retention to his nearly 90 thousand Twitter followers.

NoFap Fascism: Semen-retaining Redditor wants government of, by, and for the semen retainers

September 2, 2019

· 64 Comments

By David Futrelle

These days, fascism rears its ugly little head in the strangest of places. And there are few places stranger than the home of my favorite Reddit subculture — the Semen Retention subreddit, where men go to talk about their hobby of not ejaculating ever because this gives them magical powers or some shit.

“As a man, you hold the seed of creation within your ballsack,” and other reflections on semen retention from some mystical weirdo on Reddit

July 30, 2019

· 57 Comments

By David Futrelle

Hardcore semen retainers — yes, I’m back to talking about them again — believe that by refraining from masturbation they can bless themselves with certain magical superpowers, most notably the power of attraction.

No, you misogynistic dinguses, lab techs don’t regularly find dog semen in pap smears

July 19, 2019

· 42 Comments

By David Futrelle

I‘m sorry, everyone, but we’re going to have to talk about “the dogpill” again.

How to become the Warren Buffett of ejaculation, according to some semen-retaining weirdo on Reddit

July 14, 2019

· 38 Comments

By David Futrelle

Today, some handy investment advice from … the semen retention subreddit?

Jews use porn to drain goy boys of their precious bodily fluids and cause women to worship Israeli men, declares semen-hoarding Redditor

July 2, 2019

· 46 Comments

General Jack D Ripper: Does not avoid women, but does deny them his essence

By David Futrelle

So I’ve been a teensy weensy bit obsessed with the Semen Retention subreddit for months now — though, emulating the disciplined approach to life that subreddit advocates, I have tried my best not to post about it more than once a month or so. But some days I can’t help but relapse. Today is one of those days.