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Dude forces ChatGPT to write a poem celebrating semen retention. I have a rebuttal!

Hire me as an editor or writing coach! Check out what I have to offer at David-Futrelle.com Worlds are colliding! Two of my obsessions have weirdly converged: while looking through the semen retention subreddit, one of my favorite sources of weirdo misogyny to write about, I ran across a post from someone who had used…

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“Women want you to retain your semen, nothing more,” jizz-hoarding guru explains

Check out my new blog, My AI Obsession, and my latest post, Jesus on an iPhone So my post last week about brains floating in semen got me thinking again about one of my old obsessions, the Semen Retention subreddit. And so I took my first peek into that strange place in a very long…

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“Your brain floats in semen,” and other insights from a Twitter NoFapper

Check out my new blog, My AI Obsession, and my latest post there, There’s a culture war brewing over “woke AI” but The Atlantic can’t see it One semen-retaining Twitterer recently managed to score himself a viral hit with possibly the dumbest Twitter take ever, his newfound fame–and 2.3 million views–driven in part by less-than-complimentary…

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The only way to understand the female is through the mastery of semen: Insights into “female nature” from, well, you can probably figure out where they’re from

Fellas! Do you remain baffled by the mysteries of Female Nature?That’s probably because you’re trying to understand women by trying to understand women. Because it turns out, according to this dude I found in the semen retention subreddit, the only way to master female nature is by first mastering your semen (and not master-bating).

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Semen is “the real Elixir of the human body,” so DO NOT WASTE IT even if you sort of want to, like REALLY want to, and I mean would it be that big a deal if you did?

The guys in the Semen Retention subreddit are just really, really, really into their own semen “the real Elixir of the human body.”

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“Ejaculating outside a vagina is cheating against nature,” and other uninsightful insights I found in the Semen Retention subreddit

I‘ve been rooting around in the Semen Retention subreddit again, and the insights I’m gaining about the wondrous power of my precious bodily fluids … well, they’re actually pretty terrible and I’m fairly certain that none of them are true.

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Reddit NoFappers report that they’re starting to reek of semen – and that the scent drives the ladies wild!

It’s getting funky over in the Semen Retention subreddit. Not funky like James Brown funky. Funky as in musty teenager’s bedroom funky.

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Semen retainers! Beware the secret agents of Big Porn who use “cleverly placed words” to lure you back to fapland

Those who deliberately retain their semen say the practice sharpens their mind and their senses, makes them to smell better, renders them irresistible to women.

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“Computer screens are draining your life force!” declares mystical semen retainer

Today we’re taking another peek into the Semen Retention subreddit, the hangout of some of the most intense NoFappers you can find online. In particular, we’re going to look at a post from someone called RealisticGarage, who has a warning for his semen-retaining brothers: your life force can’t just be drained from your johnson. It…

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Tucker Carlson gets two pasty white thumbs up from white nationalist site VDare for his endorsement of the “great replacement” conspiracy theory

Fox News’ white-men’s rights activist Tucker Carlson has won himself plaudits from white supremacists and others on the racist right for not-so-subtly sneaking their ideas and rhetoric into his nightly monologues.