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Why is it worse for women to cheat than for men? “Because Penis,” Redditor explains

Cloudy with a chance of … you don’t want to know

By David Futrelle

From the Unpopular Opinions subreddit, a rather ingenious explanation as to why it’s much, much worse for men (well, cis men) to cheat on (cis) women than it is for women to cheat on men:

Girls cheating on guys is 10 times worse than guys cheating on girls because Penis. (self.unpopularopinion) submitted 15 days ago by OpinionManVIP Practically speaking, the main pieces of equipment involved in the act of sex are he penis and the vagina. When a guy cheats and has sex with a different girl, it’s just another hole. Sure maybe it can be tighter, but it’s pretty much the same deal. When a GIRL cheats on a GUY and experiences a new penis, she experiences something different that her boyfriend can NEVER give her. If the guy she’s cheating with is bigger, smaller, or even just shaped in a certain way there are things every guy has in his arsenal that are his signature strengths / weaknesses. And for females, that makes the experience of cheating so much more to be guilty about.

This was an unpopular opinion even for Reddit, with everyone in the comments arguing against this unique insight from OpinionManVIP, who not only seems to have never had sex but also to have never watched any porn. Seriously, dude, if you believe this you are Very Bad at Sex.

H/T — r/TheBluePill

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Catalpa
Catalpa
4 years ago

RE: kupo’s thread

No, the whole ‘vaginas make dicks bigger’ makes perfect sense! Sex makes vaginas wider and dicks bigger because the dicks are literally stealing flesh from the walls of the vaginas in order to grow larger! Of course!

The guy has it wrong, though; obviously if having lots of sex with other men makes vaginas stretched out, then the flesh-stealing doesn’t just happen the first time a vagina-haver has sex.

Since apparently having had 100 different penises makes a vagina cavernous, but having sex with the same penis 100 times doesn’t have the same deleterious effect on the vagina, the flesh-stealing properties of any given dick must only work on any given vagina once. Possibly with diminishing returns depending on how much flesh the vagina has already lost.

I’ve cracked the riddle, folks! Sexual intercourse is intense body horror!
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misophistry
misophistry
4 years ago

Guy I lost my virg too had a massive cock like a cucumber. Terribly unsexy sex, and the rubber kept pinging off even though he bought jumbo size ones. He needed a woman with a cavernous vagina.

favourite pub game with the girls was filling a sheet of A4 with drawings of penises I have “experienced”. The one shaped like a parsnip always got a laugh.

my vagina is still as tight as a drum.

EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

(New posters, I apologise for what I’m about to say. This is an obscure WHTM in-joke.)

So how do copulins factor into this?

Catalpa
Catalpa
4 years ago

Clearly the copulins are a defensive adaption produced by the vagina in order to neutralize the flesh-stealing properties of the penis. It’s why only the first time with any given dick is the damaging one, like producing antibodies after being exposed to a virus.

Edit- oh god why does this have to be the first post of a new page I regret my life choices

Pie
Pie
4 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention

Translation: “Because I’m really insecure about the size of my dick, because toxic masculinity tells me I have to have a large penis (and have cis women confirm that) in order to be considered a True Man. So, if a woman sleeps around, it’s possible she’s encountered a bigger dick than mine via Laws of Statistics. Therefore, feeeemales are all horrible for not telling me my penis is not only huge, but the HUGEST.”

More importantly, by depriving him of the virgin(s) he wants deserves is owed, dammit, his penis is being unreasonably restricted in size. And why would he want to sleep with some non-virgin slut? His penis wouldn’t grow at all, I guess?

Where on earth does this stuff come from? It sounds like the imaginings of a confused pre-adolescent. I tried to follow his OMFG RESEARCH advice, but I’m turning up nothing. Maybe there’s a secret penis delusions reddit, or something.

Pie
Pie
4 years ago

@NateHevens

An off-topic question… is there a way to log in as a commenter here, or do I just have to keep filling out the little form? I swear I remember being logged in as a commenter back when I was slightly more active…

I think your nym/email/whatever gets stored in a cookie after you post something, so unless your browser is deleting WHTM cookies it should be appearing for you (and if it is deleting them, I have no idea how you’d stop it).

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
4 years ago

OT: Any advice on lasting without antidepressants?

I can’t get mine until next Saturday. Logic says I can make it while insomnia says “enjoy every waking second brofo.”

TreePerson
TreePerson
4 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention: Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Don’t get me wrong: I’ve identified myself as a “size queen” before, but that’s what dildos are for. If I care about my partner, I’m not really going to care about their genitalia specs, yanno?

Thats the thing that always cracks me up about guys obsessed with their dick size not only can I replace them with a piece of silicone that wont demean me in any way, I have toys outclass any human when it comes to size,
a kind and considerate personality is something I can not replicate with toys.

Ariblester
4 years ago

Scildfreja Unnyðnes:

Never has the opinion of “women are just interchangeable holes with no discernable differences between them” been more clearly laid out. I hope this dude sticks to his fleshlight.

Somehow, I don’t think the guy has ever has sex with anything but his own hand or perhaps a jar of mayonnaise, considering that fleshlights actually go out of their way to texture the insides so that the user finds it more pleasurable (at least according to their marketing material).

EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

@Ooglyboggles:
This might be a longer-term piece of advice, but there is salvation to be found in routine.

If you’re used to going to bed when you’re tired, eating when you’re hungry, and so on, then that’s going to be difficult because your signals for those things will be messed up by your brain chemistry going wonky. Instead, try getting used to saying to yourself “I am eating because it’s lunchtime”, “I am going to bed because it’s bedtime” and so on.

Also, it’s the hardest thing when you’re depressed but exercise really, really does help.

Shadowplay
4 years ago

@Oogly

Seconding EJ. Routine is your friend and can save your ass.

Also, when do you run out?

If you have a couple left – stop now. Take them mid week to knock the the worst off. Most people can last a couple days before they crash hard, so keeping those in reserve for midweek will give you two small crashes instead of one big one. Easier to get back out of, as well.

And, in possibly futile but well intentioned advice – try not to brood on the delay in refilling your prescription too much. You know how depression magnifies everything bad – so don’t give it that particular weapon against you. Make the evil little bastard work for it.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
4 years ago

@EJ (The Other One)
Routine sounds good, and so does exercise. I’ll try saying those things out loud to reaffirm my routines.

@Shadowplay
I did run out, I got my old med but I’m not going to risk it.

I’ll try to take your advice on avoiding brooding over the meds.

Ooble
Ooble
4 years ago

@Ooglyboggles
Oof, I’ve been in that situation more times than I’d like to admit. If you have any left then ration them out until you can get more. Take half-doses if you need to; it’s better than going from a full dose to nothing straight away.

Edit: just seen you’re already out, never mind then. Good luck though!

dust bunny
dust bunny
4 years ago

@ Oogly

Depending on your circumstances, and since it’s going to be just one challenging week and doesn’t have to work as a long term solution, I might recommend an opposite approach from EJ.

If it was my meds that had run out, I’d take next week as if I had the flu. Doesn’t matter if I’m not up to the usual demands of my life, take sick leave if necessary and possible, just put my own comfort and wellbeing first at every turn and mostly spend time distracting myself by binge watching the most hygge thing I can find. Throw all routines, worries and expectations to the bottom of the laundry basket until I’m better again and, crucially, not have a guilty conscience about it.
If I was worried specifically about insomnia, I’d maximize time spent outdoors, preferably in the bush. It helps for both sleeping better and keeping my mind together if I haven’t managed to sleep. If being outdoors comes combined with exercise, that’s great, but even just being outdoors can help a lot.

Here’s hoping it’ll turn out your meds have already helped you recover and build resilience, and everything will go better than expected. <:

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
4 years ago

@Ooglyboggles,

There’s no way you can get the antidepressants before next Saturday? I don’t want to add to your stress, and you’re no doubt well aware of this already, but it can be risky to stop suddenly.

Are your old meds (the ones you still have) totally different types? I’m currently switching from SSRIs to SNRIs and the psych is monitoring closely.

Also, yes exercise is incredibly effective. Plenty of recent studies confirm this, as does my anecdotal experience 🙂
Take care of yourself!

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
4 years ago

@Bakunin,

Just saw your post on the previous page, re your appointment snafu. Were you able to re-schedule?

flexitarian haruspix
flexitarian haruspix
4 years ago

I know it’s probably just a typo, but this guy calls it ‘he penis.’ Seems a bit like a freudian slip for the nickname he gave his junk.

Shadowplay
4 years ago

Or he’s heard about ladyboners and is now even more confused.

Bakunin
Bakunin
4 years ago

@Mish
Someone called to cancel right as I left, so we did get it put down for Monday. Still frustrating though

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
4 years ago

@Ooglyboggles:

I’ve done that a few times – run out of antidepressants. I get weird “zaps” after a few days without them. It’s as if I lose consciousness for a split second. It’s startling. I probably shouldn’t be telling you about it – I don’t wish to scare you.

I’m on a low dose of Zoloft. The last time I ran out, I took some Lexapros I had.

Exercise does help.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

I prolly count as a cis man in this dude’s mind (unless I don’t count at all on account of being a “degenerate”, I dunno) so it’s cool to know I can finally drop the guilt from that time I cheated on a partner.

Thanks, dude.

Actually, nah, fuck off.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
4 years ago

<3 Oogly

Your antidepressants (in general) all just increase the availability of chemicals your brain already has. Eat well to ensure that you keep getting those chemicals in you. I imagine your particular antidepressant is about increasing the amount ofserotonin available, so make sure to eat food with tryptophan in it. Tryptophan is the precursor amino acid to serotonin. You can get it in chocolate, milk, fish, other stuff. Do yourself a google and make sure you’re getting foods with tryptophan. Don’t worry, it won’t make you sleepy – that’s just a myth. It’ll give your body what it needs to cope with the biological methods it has.

Also, eat enough to give your brain lots of glucose to work with. Your happy-making areas in the brain are glucose hungry. It can be hard to eat when you’re not feeling well, but you gotta do it.

Exercise will get your blood flowing, pumping fresh glucose in and clearing out waste products. It’ll clear out your anxiety-epinephrines and cortisols a little quicker, helping to reduce that unease a bit. That’s your autonomic system telling your body that something’s wrong out there and you need to be ready to run. Doing the running/exercise will help convince it that you’re safe, and will decrease autonomic activity. Doing so before eating will help your digestive system turn on, which will make eating further reduce the general stress response.

Don’t stare at a computer screen for at least a half hour before bed. I suggest more an hour. Read a book instead. Dim the lights a little. Light shining down from on high activates certain ganglion cells in the retina which are connected to a brain region responsible for timing your circadian rhythm. The high brightness of monitors blasts these cells, convincing that brain region that it’s daytime and you shoudln’t be asleep. So, dim lights, reading, no computers. Lamp beside you instead of overhead lights, if you have one available.

Be gentle with yourself. Follow routines – EJ’s advice is great – and forgive yourself if you fall out of them. Sometimes just living is challenging. You’ve got enough obstacles, so don’t turn yourself into one, too. Forgive yourself.

And, when you end up not forgiving yourself? Forgive yourself for that, too.

Change what you can, accept what you can’t change. You’ll get through it fine, my duck. It’s ’till Wednesday, that’s not so bad. You have my permission to go eat as much chocolate as you want.

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Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
4 years ago

I see you up there too, @Kidvelociraptor! I haven’t seen you comment here, before, welcome!

All vaginas feel different. But that’s because they’re all part of different people. It’s okay to feel anxious about that sort of thing <3 What the jerk MRAs don't understand is that the emotional connection is what's responsible for generating a lot of the high-intensity arousal involved.

And no, I don't mean some sort of "magic true-love connection"! People havin' fun together is also a perfectly great emotional connection.

I think I am therapy-mode today, mea culpa. I hope you aren’t too anxious about it, but you’re allowed to be if you are!

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@Oogly
I don’t have any advice on the meds, but you mentioned insomnia, which I do have experience with. Antihistamines knock me out pretty well when I’m having a hard time falling asleep. They don’t always keep me asleep, but it’s enough to get in a REM cycle or two. Chamomile tea can help some, too. At the very least, it gives you something warm and relaxing to drink. Assuming you like the flavor of chamomile.

If you’re finding yourself checking the click every few minutes and getting stressed about how little time you have left to sleep, get up and do something else for a while. Something relaxing for you, like reading or drawing.

misophistry
misophistry
4 years ago

Specifically the anti-histamine ceterazine always makes me sleep(sometimes for up to 12 hrs so set an alarm!)

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