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Why is it worse for women to cheat than for men? “Because Penis,” Redditor explains

Cloudy with a chance of … you don’t want to know

By David Futrelle

From the Unpopular Opinions subreddit, a rather ingenious explanation as to why it’s much, much worse for men (well, cis men) to cheat on (cis) women than it is for women to cheat on men:

Girls cheating on guys is 10 times worse than guys cheating on girls because Penis. (self.unpopularopinion) submitted 15 days ago by OpinionManVIP Practically speaking, the main pieces of equipment involved in the act of sex are he penis and the vagina. When a guy cheats and has sex with a different girl, it’s just another hole. Sure maybe it can be tighter, but it’s pretty much the same deal. When a GIRL cheats on a GUY and experiences a new penis, she experiences something different that her boyfriend can NEVER give her. If the guy she’s cheating with is bigger, smaller, or even just shaped in a certain way there are things every guy has in his arsenal that are his signature strengths / weaknesses. And for females, that makes the experience of cheating so much more to be guilty about.

This was an unpopular opinion even for Reddit, with everyone in the comments arguing against this unique insight from OpinionManVIP, who not only seems to have never had sex but also to have never watched any porn. Seriously, dude, if you believe this you are Very Bad at Sex.

H/T — r/TheBluePill

275 replies on “Why is it worse for women to cheat than for men? “Because Penis,” Redditor explains”

PPS NTR may seem “quaint” to you ladies, but then again, you are not males, and so do not and can not know our hearts, and the pain of such betrayal , which you yourselves are the root causes! Oh, how sad it is to be a male! Our existence painted in both the red of desire and the black of despair! Tsk tsk tsk

we are not all “ladies” here.

secondly you are simply a moron if you believe hearts of men and women are so different. you quote Chekhov, but I doubt you have any insight to understand him.

Ah, but I have read her work, especially the infamous Mary-Sue Amelia Blake series, and It’s basically a straight-er version of Anne Rice crossed with the World of Darkness/Vampire the Masquerade/ Werewolf the Apocalypse; in fact I daresay its the spiritual predecessor to Twilight

And of course male and female hearts are not that different, physiologically speaking, but to be psychologically speaking, they are yin-and-yang

I got hammered on Vodka several times in my own youth , Chekhov among them , does that count? Hehehe

I got hammered on Vodka several times in my own youth , Chekhov among them , does that count?

I think, no.

And of course male and female hearts are not that different, physiologically speaking, but to be psychologically speaking, they are yin-and-yang

you originally talk of metaphorical hearts, and you change now to physical hearts only to joke and only because you can’t defend your position. there is no such thing as male/female brain. if you believe people that way you will never experience meaningful connection with another.

congratulations on your first source)) but you didn’t listen what Scjild said? you can Google but it can say exactly what you want, if you don’t have any judgement to see what is reasonable or unreasonable.

second if you are happy to live alone that is fine. people like different things. people have different brains))

it is strange that you think that “meaningful connecton” means you must to stay every moment with people you love. I never stayed longer than 3 months with my girlfriend, and often we are apart for 4 months, sometimes even 7, because of my job. connection is not about you must always stay together physically. it is steange actually you believe that there is any relationship where people stay together 24h 7d 52w 🤦

But the moment a Male mate leaves the Female mate alone, much more often than not , she’s going to stray tsk tsk tsk so there is just no sense for a Male to seriously committing himself anymore to a female , if there ever was a time when it made sense , it sure isn’t that way nowadays for the average Male because of the way the average female is tsk tsk tsk …

@ JDSM

But the moment a Male mate leaves the Female mate alone, much more often than not , she’s going to stray

Or catch up on Coronation Street. YMMV of course.

generally my girlfriend just increase her rank on World Of Warships. Maybe there are some things in this world better than sex?

But the moment a Male mate leaves the Female mate alone, much more often than not , she’s going to stray

Huh? But I thought that women were the ones that only had sex after falling in love, and that men were the ones that could have sex indiscriminately without developing any feelings. And that men were the ones who were biologically designed to screw multiple people at once, since cis men can “perfectly” impregnate multiple cis women, but “females” can only be impregnated by one cis man at a time? Isn’t that what you said?

What is the basis for your hypothesis that women are the ones that will immediately stray?

But the moment a Male mate leaves the Female mate alone, much more often than not , she’s going to stray tsk tsk tsk

So what?

How does it hurt me if one of my partners has fun sexytimes with other men? If anything, it makes her happier, which in turn makes me happier.

(It can also be a good way of making other male friends. If she likes them, I’ll probably like them too.)

@JDSM
So nothing. Totally full of shit. No ability to do more than assert a bunch of things about other people.

And also typically you want us to look up your arguments. Lazy fuck.

No. I refuse to do your work incompetent. If think people are a certain way it’s your job to show it. You play being amused merely for face saving at this point.

Edited to add: finally a link, but now all they do is link drop. Like I have accept a link they don’t actually quote any data from.

“These people say X!”

Now point to a specific thing in the paper that they say is different because I don’t believe you understand what you have.

@Victorious Parasol

No, I haven’t! Now I have something to watch! 😀

@JDSM

reverse-harems being as relatively rare in both fact and fiction as a simultaneous super blue blood moon (else Stephanie Meyer would have ended Twilight differently hehehe)

Uh, dude, there’s an entire subgenre of paranormal erotic fiction that is specifically about one woman entering a polyamorous relationship with two or three vampire/werewolf men.

They’re actually quite steamy.

Okay, I’ve read JDSM’s link. There are a couple of interesting things in there, but it mostly discusses animal studies and then hypothesizes that they’d carry over to humans. Animal studies can point to something we might want to look out, but you can’t assume animal studies automatically apply to us. Especially when it’s animals that aren’t all that similar to us. Like mice.

Then there’s paragraphs that miss out on really obvious counters that go completely unacknowledged. Like this

These findings continue to accrue. In a study of 34 rhesus monkeys, for example, males strongly preferred toys with wheels over plush toys, whereas females found plush toys likable. It would be tough to argue that the monkeys’ parents bought them sex-typed toys or that simian society encourages its male offspring to play more with trucks.

Well no, monkeys don’t encourage boys to play with trucks and girls with dolls. But humans do and it’s human researchers that give the toys to the monkeys and as much as they might try to remain neutral when offering monkeys toys to play with, they might be subtly encouraging female monkeys to play with plush toys and male monkeys with wheels.

Many of these cognitive differences appear quite early in life. “You see sex differences in spatial-visualization ability in 2- and 3-month-old infants,” Halpern says. Infant girls respond more readily to faces and begin talking earlier. Boys react earlier in infancy to experimentally induced perceptual discrepancies in their visual environment. In adulthood, women remain more oriented to faces, men to things.

Then there’s this. Okay, differences appear early. So what? You know what else happens immediately upon birth? Boy and girl babies are treated very differently. Babies pick up on environmental cues.

There’s a lot of this kind of thing in that link. A lot of listing of behavioral differences and saying there must be a biological component. Not a lot of acknowledgement that humans, many of whom are really heavily invested in gender roles being set can interpret data in a way to make it say what they want it to say.

Whatever the flaws and strengths of the article however, there’s one thing it definitely didn’t do. And that’s confirm any of troll’s claims. There is nothing in there about healthy women needing to fall in love to have sex. There’s nothing in there about men needing to be promiscuous. Nobody is really saying that there are absolutely no differences between male and female brains. What we are saying is that you can’t make a sweeping generalization about male and female behavior and call it science and you can’t claim culture has zero factor in how different sexes behave. Even the neuroscientists who believe that a lot of behavioral differences between sexes is biological don’t claim that 100% of behavior is biological. That includes this article

Trying to assign exact percentages to the relative contributions of “culture” versus “biology” to the behavior of free-living human individuals in a complex social environment is tough at best. Halpern offers a succinct assessment: “The role of culture is not zero. The role of biology is not zero.”

Anyway, I doubt trolly will heed my recommendation, but I’ll always take any opportunity to suggest reading Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine which gets into a detailed analysis of the issues with neuoroscience trying to prove biological sex differences.

Human females are addicted to the feeling of being in Love , which gradually faded away after around four years at most , on average , which is partly why in present-day USA (bellweather for the test of the Developed World) , half of all heterosexual marriages end in divorce and 80% of divorces are unilaterally initiated by the wives and of those that remain married, half of the wives in them are adulterous or wish that they were tsk tsk tsk Modern Marriage is just not worth it for a heterosexual male if you have any self-respect at all.

EJ, I Will quote what Buzz Armstrong said to Woody and leave it at that. Tsk tsk tsk

And that genre is , as I said relatively rare , compared to its opposites I.e. niche. You see any mainstream successful fictional series , of any medium , with a genuine reverse-harem set-up (polyamory, not cuckoldry like that Outlander tv series) anywhere in the world today eh?

Ah, sorry, typo obviously, tsk tsk tsk

But my point still stands , and I will say no more on this topic with you .

@ JDSM

Human females are addicted to the feeling of being in Love

Robert Palmer is not a real doctor.

Nah, more bored than anything. I mean, punch it up a little. Sell me these biotruths!

Oh, clarification, an average healthy female cannot have sex and not fall in love. That is why there is no such thing as casual adultery with them, and again, as I said, they generally can only love one male at a time, and what is new is always fresh and sweet and what is old is always rotten and bitter, so they will always (or at least much more often than not) Love their mistral much more than their husband* , as best shown in that 90’s Unfaithful movie with Richard Gere and Diane Lane or that Outlander series or Japanese NTR porn. This is why we have the (usually married) Female schoolteacher / Male student sex epidemic in the USA and other Western countries. As depressing as it is to realize, it is a harsh truth, as a general rule, human females have sex in order to fall in love , as their default reason , if they’re freely doing it and not forced to do so by violence or trauma or poverty , and they want to be in love all the time , so once the honeymoon phase is over and the “magic” is gone out of the marriage, even a blushing virgin bride will become the proverbial Wife of Bath , as Chaucer noted in the Canterbury Takes tsk tsk tsk

*or worse, never get over the One True Love in their Youth , goddamnit

And by popular demand, viola

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/crux/2015/02/13/love-addiction-brain/#.Wp623SIRWaM

But wait, there’s more

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1211326

A blog and Huffpo. Not a promising start, but let’s check.

The first one just says that both romantic feelings and drugs engage the reward system in the brain. It does not say that this only occurs in women. It doesn’t mention sex differences at all.

The second one isn’t even remotely scientific. It’s not even trying to be. It’s just a love addict saying that she thinks love addiction and sex addiction are pretty much the same.

Are you even reading your citations or are you just posting links with the words love and addiction in the title? Because they don’t come close to backing your claims.

When it comes to subjective matters , as is the standard case in the “soft sciences”, what better evidence than actual first-hand testimony from human beings? Hey, it worked for Freud and Kinsey in their revolutionary studies of human sexuality after all.

As anecdotal evidence that this is indeed an ancient observable phenomenon for the whole of the human species:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllWomenAreLustful

And here’s something modern :

http://www.medicaldaily.com/married-women-who-cheat-have-more-secret-lovers-and-stray-year-earlier-men-240479 *

* also reports that females are much more hypocritical than males when it comes to adultery

Some more :

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2145925/Women-beat-men-adultery-stakes-Ladies-2-3-secret-lovers-affair-compared-1-8-blokes.html

http://nymag.com/betamale/2016/05/women-are-now-cheating-as-much-as-men-but-with-fewer-consequences.html

A new tactic is observed: attempt to bury the opposition in hundreds of browser tabs so they don’t post any rebuttals for days, and by then have forgotten; thus obtaining the coveted Last Word.

Next logical iteration: stealth the tvtropes link using tinyurl. 🙂

When it comes to subjective matters , as is the standard case in the “soft sciences”, what better evidence than actual first-hand testimony from human beings? Hey, it worked for Freud and Kinsey in their revolutionary studies of human sexuality after all.

I don’t think you understand how social science research works. I’ll give you a hint. Sampling, including sample size is very important.

And TV tropes, really?

Also, I haven’t read the links but now he seems to be contradicting himself and claiming women are all lusty and sex addicted.

Considering that he just hit on Victorious Parasol’s avatar in the other thread, I think he’s trying to get the female posters to talk about how horny we are so that he has some wank material.

And in all of this, of course: no evidence whatsoever that the claimed sex differences among e.g. cheating spouses’ behaviors are biologically determined, rather than cultural.

It’s mostly crap like “why’s your face so clear, here, let me clog those pores for you” and “you didn’t really want to be able to stand up without crippling back pain, did you?”

All PRATTs, really.

I stopped taking the pill because I read an article about how hormonal birth control residue leaks out into lakes and streams and make endangered frogs and toads sterile. Was off it for three years. During that time, my periods got progressively heavier. I never had any cramps or any other symptoms like that, but I just bled more and more. Eventually, I bled so much that I could fill a menstrual cup size large in a couple of hours.
I went back on the pill. I’m sorry frogs and toads, I really am…

As a I said in my last post —- and this is actually age-old wisdom we’ve all heard before —- to summarise my own position in this matter: human females generally give/have sex with human males in order to get love from them. The problem is , they never really stop , even when married already to somebody else.

This is why adultery is worse, as a general rule, when females do it then when males do it: aside from the obvious paternity fraud , there’s also an inevitable and irreparable alienation of affection involved, because it’s never just merely sex only for the females , there’s also love too, but they can’t be in love with 2+ males at once or if they manage that , it’s still not equally in love with them at all, and the new love is preferred over the old love or she never gets over the old love and the new love is always doomed to be in his shadow forever (as shown in the Titanic movie, the most popular romantic movie of all time for human females) tsk tsk tsk

@ jdsm

because it’s never just merely sex only for the females

So what are the odds that just about every woman I know is a statistical outlier?

“Love their mistral more than their husband”? Does the troll know that a mistral is a type of wind? Seems oddly appropriate.

The pseudo- footnote is perhaps more revealing than intended, task task task.

Modern moderate my ass. You are a MRA. You share their beliefs even if you couch them in a more moderate way.
tsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsktsk

In outlander Jamie is much sexier than her English husband. also clearly you didn’t watch outlander.

@Alan Robertshaw

Who is he?

Edit: Most pics of him make him look vaguely threatening.

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