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Nazoid pickup artist predicts low-testosterone future of cucks, cat people, floppy ears

Our dystopian future?

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a cat sitting on a human face forever.

That, at least, is the nightmare vision of the future of these United States that emerges from a recent post by pickup-artist-cum-Nazoid-philosopher James “Heartiste” Weidmann.

Weidmann, you see, is alarmed by reports that testosterone in American men has been declining for several decades now, and in a post on his blog a couple of days ago, he suggests that this long decline portends a dire future for America — soon t0 be overtaken by weak-chinned men, “man-jawed” women, widespread cuckoldry, mandatory drama club in high schools, and cats, lots of cats.

Also, “ears may become floppy.” Human ears, that is.

Let’s go through some of his predictions so we can all prepare for this brave new world. In low-T America, he suggests, men will become a bunch of cat-owning pussies.

“[T]eam sports will disappear,” Heartiste laments.

marriage will increasingly be platforms for brides to take selfies and grooms to blubber during the vows. jerkboy best men will be tasked with the job of deflowering any virgin brides remaining in the wilds as the soyfatted grooms recite lines from their favorite feminist poets. …

the rate of cuckoldry will increase.

cat ownership will increase among men.

muscle cars will become a distant relic.

Men will grow so wimpy that their bodies will shrink, turning soft and rounded, with

balls, penises, jawlines, chins, noses, and musculature … literally shrink[ing] in men. ears may become floppy.

As a result of the increased pussyhood of men, women will have to

dress and act sluttier to capture the attention of increasingly benumbed men who need the services of the hardest of hardcore porn to feel aroused.

Meanwhile,

weird sexual paraphilias and fetishes will rise (those afflicted with declining libido will compensate with outlandish substitutes to bring back that lovin’ feeling).

Not all women will become sluttier and/or kinkier. Alongside the sluts, Heartiste warns, “the population of … cat ladies and bitter spinsters will explode,” as will, on the other side of the gender divide, the numbers of “basement bachelors” and “increasingly servile and pathetic” male feminists.

With most American men transformed into libidoless wusses, Heartiste imagines,

high libido men — cads — will reign supreme in the actual sexual market (what’s left of it) as opposed to the pretend sexual market that lonely feminists jabber about during their intersectionality bullshit sessions.

Workplaces will no longer be manly and productive.

corporations will turn into ghettos of bickering crones, slutty college girls, and yes-manlets. nothing will be produced but social media apps and articles about online dating.

the resulting economic collapse will create a run on arable urban land as millions of useless [white liberals] fight to the death for patches of communal gardens to plant their sad kale and heirloom tomatoes.

Meanwhile, American “politics will intensify its shift leftward because low T men will vote more like women.”

As you may have noticed, many of the things that terrify Heartiste actually sound pretty good.

But low-T American wusses will get their final comeuppance, as the nation’s testosterone deficit will likely inspire “higher T conquerors,” by which Heartiste means Muslim men, to crash our country and “wipe out the low T White submissivists.”

Still, Heartiste holds out some hope. Maybe, just maybe, he suggests, some American men will “somehow evolve … an immunity against the low T disease.” America will then

rebound as Nature, in her infinite wisdom, entrusts the low T landscape to high T spermlords who, despite feminists’ faux abhorrence to the contrary, will piledrive a wide swath through a lot of parched pussy that has spent decades lost in an anhedonic wilderness of un-men.

A Nazi can dream, I guess.

NOTE: Apologies to George Orwell for that first sentence.

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Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

KITTEN.

Also, it has been a good day for watching Simon’s Cat videos.

Michael Suttkus, II
Michael Suttkus, II
5 years ago

I suspect that the “floppy ears” references are to the fact that breeding animals for domestication sometimes results in them developing floppy ears. The reasons why are not well understood. So, men are becoming domesticated, so floppy eared.

Why this would be a bad thing, I’m less clear on.

Faerie Bard
Faerie Bard
5 years ago

@Lysistrata yeah, we evil male gaze harvesting succubi are hoarding all the testosterone for our plot to make a new species of supercat, who can sit on not one, not two, but THREE human faces at the same time!

@PaganReader *squee* such cute little fluffyfaces!

Why don’t these guys like cats, I don’t get it? And floppy ears? How does that even compute?

Zephkiel - Feminist MGTOW
Zephkiel - Feminist MGTOW
5 years ago

Klienfelters Syndrome (XXY) runs in my family, and while I don’t have it, brothers, cousins, and nephews have actual “low T”. Some take hormone replacement therapy, some don’t. All have normal chins, normal ears (seriously wtf) and from what I can tell (I.e. what we’ve talked about over beers occasionally) normal sex lives. Their politics tends to the left, but that’s not exclusive – we have a right-wing shock jock in the family. Most are actually dog people. A couple are petrol-heads.

Literally the only thing this asshole got right when I look at my “low-T” relatives is the tendency towards storing fat around the stomach and difficulty building muscle. Of course HRT goes a long way to changing both those things.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

as millions of useless [white liberals] fight to the death for patches of communal gardens to plant their sad kale and heirloom tomatoes.

Jebus, he’s bad at writing liberals. If the economy collapsed we’d band together, maximize the available garden plots, and grow kale for everyone, because we’re not a bunch of trigger-happy Yosemite Sam mudflaps. There aren’t going to be any Kale Wars.

ears may become floppy

I don’t know why, but I read that in Yoko Ono’s voice. Now Revolution #9 is stuck in my head.

varalys the dark
5 years ago

I have lost the war of the pillows. I am curled up at the foot of the bed and my cat is luxuriously stretched across them. He is the alpha of the household, I must submit to his feline whims.

Iphimedia
Iphimedia
5 years ago

I wonder why he hates himself and all men so much.

Iphimedia
Iphimedia
5 years ago
Anne Lewis, Jib Creatr
Anne Lewis, Jib Creatr
5 years ago
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
5 years ago

Faerie Bard,

Cats tend to be associated with femininity. There’s also that leftover fear of them witch’s familiars that stuck around in western cultures. Although in reality dog ladies were as likely to be suspected during the European witch trial days as cat ladies. But that’s been forgotten as dogs became associated with masculinity.

Anyway, that’s why misogynists always hate cats.

Here on planet earth it seems like plenty of men love cats. Not just progressive men either. My racist Republican uncle is a total cat person. Most of the men in my family like cats. Whatever their political leanings. My dad and brother love them.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

TIL that high-T manly men prefer watery mass-production tomatoes from Kroger over homegrowns.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

Re: “floppy ears”.
I suspect that JHW may be referring to the result of a fox selective breeding experiment in Siberia. Dmitry Belyaev and team selected foxes for friendliness and submission to humans a decades long experiment.

After several generations of controlled breeding, a majority of the silver foxes no longer showed any fear of humans and often wagged their tails and licked their human caretakers to show affection. They also began to display spotted coats, floppy ears, curled tails, as well as other physical attributes often found in domesticated animals, thus confirming Belyaev’s hypothesis that both the behavioral and physical traits of domesticated animals could be traced to “a collection of genes that conferred a propensity to tameness—a genotype that the foxes perhaps shared with any species that could be domesticated”.

I do not agree that the hypothesis has been confirmed. This is still an effect consistent with transgenetic epigenetic inheritance. Instead of inherited alleles there could be inheritance of altered CpG methylation and/or histone modification. For example Holocaust Exposure Induced Intergenerational Effects on FKBP5 Methylation.
Another story where nature fascinates you and then goes and horrifies you. But only a little less horrifying than humans that would treat other humans so badly they alter their children’s gene expression.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

And my wife and I said the big goodbye to one of our feline friends a couple of hours ago. Casper, we missed you immediately.

Scolar Visari
Scolar Visari
5 years ago

Hi, I’m Troy McClure.

You may remember me from Hollywood outbreak thrillers such as STD and Nancy, Erectile Dysfunction Junction and Beauty and the Yeast Infection. I’m writing this paid advertisement to warn Americans of something that’s all too real: Low Testosterone.

Low Testosterone, or LT, is far worse than even the most deadly of fictional diseases (even that of the Zom-Bee outbreak of World War Bee in which I starred in the supporting role as Doctor Honey). Indeed, LT is affecting more and more American men each year, and already its lethal effects are subverting our proud nation.

But what is LT? LT is a condition generated when a man’s behavior causes his genitalia to shrink, generating fewer amounts of species sustaining testosterone in return. The symptoms of LT include:

-Driving hybrid or electric automobiles.
-Concern for the welfare of other lifeforms.
-Watching Disney films.
-Voting Democrat.
-Combing your wife or girlfriend’s long, luxurious hair that smells of fresh flowers in the morning before she goes to work and you’re left as the stay at home male.

Having just *one* of these symptoms can create a ripple effect, worsening your LT even further. Once a man watches Frozen or drives a Prius, they’re certainly on their way to voting for a woman to hold public office.

However, there is help! The good people of the Institute for Testicular Conditions and Health, or ITCH, and its in-house fraternity experts come up with a comprehensive treatment which can save the genitalia you know and love: The ITCH INtensive Growth program (ITCHING). After a good six months of ITCHING of a man’s nether regions with a fully loaded program of muscle car purchases, Sunday night football and strip club attendance, you’ll be back to the office with a bulge in your pants and a new V8 in the parking lot or you’ll get your deposit back!

Don’t risk losing your God given testosterone for womanly hormones and emotions: Seek treatment for LT today!

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
5 years ago

Team sports will disappear

Opening day is coming up! No point, just jazzed 🙂

increasingly benumbed men who need the services of the hardest of hardcore porn to feel aroused

Like… But… Fetishes aren’t on a scale. Also, ‘hardcore’ just means the performers are shown fucking. Ya know, with their junk. Hardcore is a genre, not a measure of ‘degeneracy’

ETA: @Brony
*hugs*

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
5 years ago

Oh, I’m sorry Brony. Hugs.

PaganReader
5 years ago

Internet hugs if you want them, Brony.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
5 years ago

@Mels I have the sick feeling that the entire screed is projection of his self hatred.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Faerie Bard

Why don’t these guys like cats, I don’t get it?

These guys hate cats because they won’t do as they’re told.

Dogs, being pack animals, will.

No disrespect to dogs. I love them, including their floppy ears.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

Brony, I know what that’s like. Sympathy hugs if you want them for the loss of Casper.

The Real Cie
5 years ago

I think my favorite phrases from this unhinged horror story are “soyfatted grooms” and “high T spermlords.”
I also think that “Heartiste” has one of those weird sexual paraphilias that he warns of. Either that or having his brain in his ass is cutting off the blood flow to all his thinky matter.
I’m a woman who loves muscle cars. Is this evidence that I’m stealing the low t beta cucks’ testosterone and making their yarbles shrink?

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

I have seen photos of Fartiste and he is very like the supposedly low T men of the future he imagines.
Not that there is anything wrong with that, but…self awareness much?

The Real Cie
5 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger I believe you answered my question from my previous post. I must be a feminist succubus, stealing all the testosterone from men to fuel my love for muscle cars.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

The Real Die,
I suspect there is an awful lot of projection and blame going on when these dudes blame white men liking certain porn on women and Jooooooooooos. They can’t accept that they like what they like and that’s OK. Someone must have made them weak or sick or less macho than they think they should be. It couldn’t just be that they need to own their kinks and deal with them in a healthy manner. It can’t be that they need to come to terms with what turns them on and accept that they will never be the sort of men they aspire to be and that is perfectly fine. Nope, it must be a plot to destroy their masulinity. Someone they already hate must be to blame.

Sissy
Sissy
5 years ago

I know that I haven’t posed in a LOOOONG while (lot of IRL stuff happened, plus a nasty power outage earlier in the week, thank you, Metro City windstorm), but… wow. I haven’t laughed at something this bizarre in quite a while. Especially this:

fight to the death for patches of communal gardens to plant their sad kale and heirloom tomatoes.

COMMUNAL. A COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE. FIGHTING TO PLANT THINGS IN THE GROUND?

I mean, if it’s a community of people, why would they fight over who gets to plant things? Do they have cage matches for this stuff? Inquiring minds must know!

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