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Nazoid pickup artist predicts low-testosterone future of cucks, cat people, floppy ears

Our dystopian future?

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a cat sitting on a human face forever.

That, at least, is the nightmare vision of the future of these United States that emerges from a recent post by pickup-artist-cum-Nazoid-philosopher James “Heartiste” Weidmann.

Weidmann, you see, is alarmed by reports that testosterone in American men has been declining for several decades now, and in a post on his blog a couple of days ago, he suggests that this long decline portends a dire future for America — soon t0 be overtaken by weak-chinned men, “man-jawed” women, widespread cuckoldry, mandatory drama club in high schools, and cats, lots of cats.

Also, “ears may become floppy.” Human ears, that is.

Let’s go through some of his predictions so we can all prepare for this brave new world. In low-T America, he suggests, men will become a bunch of cat-owning pussies.

“[T]eam sports will disappear,” Heartiste laments.

marriage will increasingly be platforms for brides to take selfies and grooms to blubber during the vows. jerkboy best men will be tasked with the job of deflowering any virgin brides remaining in the wilds as the soyfatted grooms recite lines from their favorite feminist poets. …

the rate of cuckoldry will increase.

cat ownership will increase among men.

muscle cars will become a distant relic.

Men will grow so wimpy that their bodies will shrink, turning soft and rounded, with

balls, penises, jawlines, chins, noses, and musculature … literally shrink[ing] in men. ears may become floppy.

As a result of the increased pussyhood of men, women will have to

dress and act sluttier to capture the attention of increasingly benumbed men who need the services of the hardest of hardcore porn to feel aroused.

Meanwhile,

weird sexual paraphilias and fetishes will rise (those afflicted with declining libido will compensate with outlandish substitutes to bring back that lovin’ feeling).

Not all women will become sluttier and/or kinkier. Alongside the sluts, Heartiste warns, “the population of … cat ladies and bitter spinsters will explode,” as will, on the other side of the gender divide, the numbers of “basement bachelors” and “increasingly servile and pathetic” male feminists.

With most American men transformed into libidoless wusses, Heartiste imagines,

high libido men — cads — will reign supreme in the actual sexual market (what’s left of it) as opposed to the pretend sexual market that lonely feminists jabber about during their intersectionality bullshit sessions.

Workplaces will no longer be manly and productive.

corporations will turn into ghettos of bickering crones, slutty college girls, and yes-manlets. nothing will be produced but social media apps and articles about online dating.

the resulting economic collapse will create a run on arable urban land as millions of useless [white liberals] fight to the death for patches of communal gardens to plant their sad kale and heirloom tomatoes.

Meanwhile, American “politics will intensify its shift leftward because low T men will vote more like women.”

As you may have noticed, many of the things that terrify Heartiste actually sound pretty good.

But low-T American wusses will get their final comeuppance, as the nation’s testosterone deficit will likely inspire “higher T conquerors,” by which Heartiste means Muslim men, to crash our country and “wipe out the low T White submissivists.”

Still, Heartiste holds out some hope. Maybe, just maybe, he suggests, some American men will “somehow evolve … an immunity against the low T disease.” America will then

rebound as Nature, in her infinite wisdom, entrusts the low T landscape to high T spermlords who, despite feminists’ faux abhorrence to the contrary, will piledrive a wide swath through a lot of parched pussy that has spent decades lost in an anhedonic wilderness of un-men.

A Nazi can dream, I guess.

NOTE: Apologies to George Orwell for that first sentence.

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PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
5 years ago

Oh, fuck off, Weidmann. I have zero patience for your bloviating nonsense today. Go piss up a rope.

JoeB
JoeB
5 years ago
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

Yo, Shartiste, please keep your pseudo-scientific bullshit out of my body issues and cat ownership.

You’re the fucking disease, not the cure.

Thanks a bunch,

John S.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
5 years ago

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a cat sitting on a human face forever.

“But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.”

EJ (Marxist Jazz Weasel)

Weidmann probably thinks those things are bad, though.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

Also,

nothing will be produced but social media apps and articles about online dating.

Remind me what Weidmann ever “produces” ?

Her Grace Phryne (brave, not strong)
Her Grace Phryne (brave, not strong)
5 years ago

I’m not seeing the problem with this “vision of the future”. Although I do like me a muscle car or two. But won’t lesbians want them anyway? So they’d still be around.

So *that’s* alright.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

Is Heartiste too depressed to use the shift key anymore?

brian
brian
5 years ago

Wait… feminists talk about “sexual markets”???

also, most of this reads like the premise to a post-apocalyptic porn novella catering to very specific kinks.

Elizabeth Regina
Elizabeth Regina
5 years ago

Is masturbating in public while muttering your most outrageous fantasies okay now?

Because that’s what Heartiste is doing with this article, and was always told it was kinda frowned upon.

Jesalin
Jesalin
5 years ago

I’m not seeing the problem with this “vision of the future”. Although I do like me a muscle car or two. But won’t lesbians want them anyway? So they’d still be around.

I prefer me a sweet looking (low-noise) motorcycle..also a great reason/excuse for wearing leather. (Although the only way you’d get my partner on one would be to knock her out and tie her to it *laughs*)

abars01
abars01
5 years ago

This is funny and all, David, but you haven’t done a Resist Trump post in quite a bit – and personally, I think that’s more important than a D-grade internet celebrity’s latest obvious bid for attention. Aren’t you going to write anything about Trumpcare, or Maddow getting ahold of Trump’s tax returns, or the new Muslim ban, or some such?

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

It’s gotta be possible somehow to troll and trick pieces of shit like Weidmann or Doosh to include “motor lesbians” in their screeds.

Gotta think of something.

@abars

Oh come on ! David’s going back to what he built this blog on, after being called out on doing maybe a teensy bit too much Trump stuff*, and now it’s the other way around ?

Let’s give him a break, please.

*ETA : “asked to focus less on Trump” is much closer to my intended meaning, pardon my French (literally).

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

It sounds like men will eventually become perfectly spherical. I bet the physicists are behind this!

Viscaria, product of 20,000 evolution
Viscaria, product of 20,000 evolution
5 years ago

marriage will increasingly be platforms for brides to take selfies and grooms to blubber during the vows. jerkboy best men will be tasked with the job of deflowering any virgin brides remaining in the wilds as the soyfatted grooms recite lines from their favorite feminist poets.

This is going straight into my planning journal. Thanks, Heartiste!

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
5 years ago

I thought women already only had sex with high T alpha cad Chads and that’s why men are oppressed. Isn’t the future already here?

And why are the women getting manjawed? If testosterone is going down in men, wouldn’t it be going down in women too? Or are feminist succubi extracting men’s testosterone in their sleep and taking it for ourselves?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
5 years ago

Abars,

Shakesville does a resist Trump post every weekday. Try there.

I’m sure there will be more Trump posts here but it was originally a mocking misogyny site. There are a lot of other political blogs out there, but only one WHTM. Why not just go to those if Trump is all you want to discuss?

Podkayne Lives (Hairless Marsupial Gutter Nun)
Podkayne Lives (Hairless Marsupial Gutter Nun)
5 years ago

“Ears may become floppy.”

Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!!) Eddie
Weird (Don't Mourn, ORGANIZE!!) Eddie
5 years ago

through a lot of parched pussy that has spent decades lost in an anhedonic wilderness of un-men.

… wow…. Now, THAT’S prose!!!

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

WWTH, it’s the conservation of testosterone principle, of course! Science!

Also, just what is wrong with men (or women) owning cats? Here’s Marlon Brando with his cat:

comment image

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

@Moggie

They prefer Chuck Norris as their standard for manliness.

Of course, the manliest man alive disagrees.

Exhibit B.

Laugher at Bigots, Mincing Betaboy

I don’t see why he’s worried. After all, Dump will MAKE MURICKA GRATE AGIN, and presumably that includes its (white) men.

Judas Peckerwood
Judas Peckerwood
5 years ago

high T spermlords

Consider that stolen for my next band’s name.

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Sinkable John

Of course, the manliest man alive disagrees.

I’m a devotee of the Bogartist heresy, myself.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

Ok. Humphrey Bogart with a cat:

comment image

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