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Nazoid pickup artist predicts low-testosterone future of cucks, cat people, floppy ears

Our dystopian future?

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a cat sitting on a human face forever.

That, at least, is the nightmare vision of the future of these United States that emerges from a recent post by pickup-artist-cum-Nazoid-philosopher James “Heartiste” Weidmann.

Weidmann, you see, is alarmed by reports that testosterone in American men has been declining for several decades now, and in a post on his blog a couple of days ago, he suggests that this long decline portends a dire future for America — soon t0 be overtaken by weak-chinned men, “man-jawed” women, widespread cuckoldry, mandatory drama club in high schools, and cats, lots of cats.

Also, “ears may become floppy.” Human ears, that is.

Let’s go through some of his predictions so we can all prepare for this brave new world. In low-T America, he suggests, men will become a bunch of cat-owning pussies.

“[T]eam sports will disappear,” Heartiste laments.

marriage will increasingly be platforms for brides to take selfies and grooms to blubber during the vows. jerkboy best men will be tasked with the job of deflowering any virgin brides remaining in the wilds as the soyfatted grooms recite lines from their favorite feminist poets. …

the rate of cuckoldry will increase.

cat ownership will increase among men.

muscle cars will become a distant relic.

Men will grow so wimpy that their bodies will shrink, turning soft and rounded, with

balls, penises, jawlines, chins, noses, and musculature … literally shrink[ing] in men. ears may become floppy.

As a result of the increased pussyhood of men, women will have to

dress and act sluttier to capture the attention of increasingly benumbed men who need the services of the hardest of hardcore porn to feel aroused.

Meanwhile,

weird sexual paraphilias and fetishes will rise (those afflicted with declining libido will compensate with outlandish substitutes to bring back that lovin’ feeling).

Not all women will become sluttier and/or kinkier. Alongside the sluts, Heartiste warns, “the population of … cat ladies and bitter spinsters will explode,” as will, on the other side of the gender divide, the numbers of “basement bachelors” and “increasingly servile and pathetic” male feminists.

With most American men transformed into libidoless wusses, Heartiste imagines,

high libido men — cads — will reign supreme in the actual sexual market (what’s left of it) as opposed to the pretend sexual market that lonely feminists jabber about during their intersectionality bullshit sessions.

Workplaces will no longer be manly and productive.

corporations will turn into ghettos of bickering crones, slutty college girls, and yes-manlets. nothing will be produced but social media apps and articles about online dating.

the resulting economic collapse will create a run on arable urban land as millions of useless [white liberals] fight to the death for patches of communal gardens to plant their sad kale and heirloom tomatoes.

Meanwhile, American “politics will intensify its shift leftward because low T men will vote more like women.”

As you may have noticed, many of the things that terrify Heartiste actually sound pretty good.

But low-T American wusses will get their final comeuppance, as the nation’s testosterone deficit will likely inspire “higher T conquerors,” by which Heartiste means Muslim men, to crash our country and “wipe out the low T White submissivists.”

Still, Heartiste holds out some hope. Maybe, just maybe, he suggests, some American men will “somehow evolve … an immunity against the low T disease.” America will then

rebound as Nature, in her infinite wisdom, entrusts the low T landscape to high T spermlords who, despite feminists’ faux abhorrence to the contrary, will piledrive a wide swath through a lot of parched pussy that has spent decades lost in an anhedonic wilderness of un-men.

A Nazi can dream, I guess.

NOTE: Apologies to George Orwell for that first sentence.

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Schnookums Von Fancypants, GloboThermoNuclearHomo
Schnookums Von Fancypants, GloboThermoNuclearHomo
5 years ago

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a cat sitting on a human face forever.
“But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.”

Who’s the fuzziest little Big Brother? You are! You Are!

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

First, I love that pic of Bogie with his cat.

Second, David, you go ahead and write about whatever moves you on that particular day. Love the “manosphere” posts ( because I don’t get those anywhere else) but I appreciate the Drumpf stuff too. Whatever you like, man.

Third, how doe a lower libido translate into requiring more/”harder”/”weirder” porn and sexual stimulation? If you’re less interested in sexual activity, then aren’t you necessarily less interested in all kinds of sexual activity?

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

@Dalillama, Moggie

Okay, I think I can see very clearly how reasonable an argument that is.

calmdown
calmdown
5 years ago

Why are these fellows so obsessed with their “vision(s) of the future?” They seem to be desperately in search of Gor 2.0. I’m dreading the day that one tries to publish their strange “feminazi dystopia” series (and ensuing revenge/men take back the world ending) and it becomes the most popular book series in the U.S.

A Nut A Day
5 years ago

He’s already shaping up to be a candidate for tomorrow’s Nut of the Day, no doubt about that!

Croquembouche of patriarchy
Croquembouche of patriarchy
5 years ago

Anyone else as bored and mildly irritated by A Spambot A Day as me?

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
5 years ago

Okay, I’m trying to call out Almonds here and talk about how I met a cat today. But it just won’t let me! I tried to post it, didn’t show up. Tried again, it said I already posted that. Tried to append the text to my test comment, I can’t edit it anymore!

gahhhhhhhhhhh

varalys the dark
5 years ago

My cat likes draping himself over my face while I sleep using the pillows he thinks should be where he is sleeping. I feel for the man in the photo.

Rhuu
Rhuu
5 years ago

@ANAD: I can see where you’re coming from, but I think you should think about the splash damage you can cause by linking these people’s awful thoughts and actions with neuro a-typical people.

Hate isn’t a mental illness. Misogyny isn’t a mental illness.

Throwing people who have not been protected by society under the bus isn’t what I think you want to accomplish, but is what you are doing.

Also, comments policy, please.

Mels
Mels
5 years ago

dreemr –

Third, how doe a lower libido translate into requiring more/”harder”/”weirder” porn and sexual stimulation? If you’re less interested in sexual activity, then aren’t you necessarily less interested in all kinds of sexual activity?

That jumped out at me as the most obvious likely projection in his rant. That’s not how low libido works, and I can only assume categorically degrading women for so many years has had a numbing effect on Weidmann…

Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

Speaking of Nazis…

Just noticed one of these for the first time tonight.

“Hans, its our coins; they’ve got skulls on them!.”

http://www.cambridgeshirecoins.com/WebRoot/Store2/Shops/es121869/5657/1779/3F88/E381/DC27/0A0F/110C/72C8/2016__163_2_Skull.png

dlouwe
5 years ago

Is testosterone integral to ear rigidity somehow? Does… does Hartiste think women have floppy ears? Has he ever seen a woman??

Lysistrata
Lysistrata
5 years ago

@wwth re women’s testosterone in this scenario

Maybe women amplify their testosterone by harvesting the male gaze?

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
5 years ago

@dlouwe
Typing “Floppy Ears people” on google only gives results to why some dogs have floppy ears. “Ear deformities” doesn’t list anything with floppy ears in people. Heartiste might as well jotted this all down from a fever dream from how far removed from reality his statements are as far as Google is concerned.

Hambeast (fan of diversity)
Hambeast (fan of diversity)
5 years ago

Two things, Mr. Heartiste –

1. Testosterone supplementation is a thing.

2. I, too, am totes jelly that my gardening skills, they are not mad.

re: floppy ears – If this come to pass, I predict that the Scottish Fold cat will be the first choice of cat ladies (and gentlemen and other sorts of cat aficionados) everywhere.

IgnoreSandra
5 years ago

“jerkboy best men will be tasked with the job of deflowering any virgin brides remaining in the wilds”

And let me guess. Shartiste is one of these…jerkboys? Oh wait. That would require him to have friends. And also for a lot of weird bullshit to happen with our weddings. Most of the people I know who want to marry aren’t interested in relations outside the person they’re marrying.

“the rate of cuckoldry will increase.”

[citation needed]

“ears may become floppy.”

Come again? Ear shape is unrelated to T-levels?

“need the services of the hardest of hardcore porn to feel aroused.”

That…really comes across to me as projection. Like, obvious projection. Wouldn’t a low libido lead to…using porn less often? Or having sex less often? It wouldn’t have anything to do with the kind of sex people like? But someone who’s numbed himself to all the sexiness of fun times would be able to write a sentence like that in honesty.

“the pretend sexual market that lonely feminists jabber about”

I don’t recall any feminist chatting about the “sexual market” period.

“on arable urban land as millions of useless… patches of communal gardens to plant their sad kale and heirloom tomatoes.”

One: Arable urban land is more or less an oxymoron without a commitment to environmental production. Is he saying he’s committed to protecting and expanding the EPA? Also, communal gardens sound awesome! Never irritate people about food production.

This is…exactly the same as when the migtoes were publicly fapping over their imagined apocalypse fantasies. He doesn’t have a point. He’s just trying to construct a situation where women have no choice but to fuck him, without realizing that there will never be a situation where we will have to have sex with him.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

@Hambeast

Woah I just realized this thanks to your comment, but if they’re called cat ladies… then that makes me a cat gentleman !

Woah. The techno-matriarchy is awesome.

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

I actually know quite a few cat gentlemen. Cats are great, they are fairly low-maintenance, but if you enjoy spoiling and indulging them (I admit nothing!!), well, they’re up for that, too.

Hambeast (fan of diversity)
Hambeast (fan of diversity)
5 years ago

Hooray for cat gentlemen! Husbeast is another cat gentleman. Catbeast is a cat who is also a gentleman. Gentlecat?

I didn’t want to leave David or any other non-lady cat people out in the metaphorical cold.

numerobis
numerobis
5 years ago

That is pretty much the future this liberal wants. And I’m not just saying that because one cat is in my lap and the other is on the windowsill.

I don’t really care either way about floppy ears. And I don’t want any jerks at my wedding. NO JERKS.

Deflowerings are fine, though I doubt I know too many virgins (cock carousels and all that).

PaganReader
5 years ago

Speaking of Scottish Fold kitties, did you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals know that Maru is a Scottish Fold?
http://image.oregonlive.com/home/olive-media/width620/img/living_impact/photo/16817935-mmmain.jpg
(random cute picture of Maru)

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

Here’s a wedding deflowering.

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IgnoreSandra
5 years ago

@Paganreader: I will never get tired of looking at cute kitties <3

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

From the article:

Many researchers cited here mention changes in our environment, like an increase in the number of chemicals we’re exposed to in the womb, and throughout life.

Hmm, seems that maybe all the pollution and shit maybe affecting…humans!? Oh my god! Too bad all the policies that could help the environment are part of the liberal agenda to enslave the rich men and put them to work in diamond mines or whatever I don’t give a fuck. These assholes are gonna be whining about this shit while eating artificial preservative-filled foods off paper plates and doing nothing to stop it.

(And, like, I’m not knocking frozen foods and stuff, btw, you eat the food you can get, I’m just saying they aren’t gonna do jack shit about this crap like everything else they’ve ever complained about ever.)

PaganReader
5 years ago

The Itty Bitty Kitty Committee has new kittens!
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