Viz magazine is famous for its surreal and deliberately useless “Top Tips.”
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you’ve taken steroids by running a bit slower.
The similarly surreal and useless fellows who populate the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit have decided to have a go at the advice thing themselves. A post there today asks the question: “If you could give women one piece of advice, without being crucifed, what would it be?”
The assembled MGTOWs have happily provided dozens of answers. Unlike Viz’ Top Tips, though, their little nuggets are funny only by accident. Also, most of the “advice” is not so much advice as it is a random misogyny-dump onto the internet.
That said, here are my picks for the Top Ten Tips for Women From Men Who Hate Them.
Get a goddamn hobby, something that requires effort and intelligence and builds character. I am so sick of reality TV addicts whose only real interests are complaining about a world they didn’t earn.
Pot, Kettle — have you two met? Yelling about women online is not a “hobby … that requires effort and intelligence and builds character.” Take up something more worthwhile and less embarrassing, like subscribing to magazines you never get around to reading and letting them pile up for years, a hobby I used to enjoy in pre-everything-is-on-the-internet days.
Also, dude, how many worlds have you personally “earned” anyway?
Deleting fakebook, instaslut, or myfake will improve your “personality”
Wait. People still use MySpace?
Make yourself useful in areas that don’t involve sex.
This might have been a tad more persuasive if it hadn’t come from someone who has proven himself completely useless as a human being by posting on the MGTOW subreddit.
Grow up, and take responsibility for your own emotions you goddamn overgrown parasitic, entitled infants.
This one is also a teensy bit ironic, given that it was offered by the highly emotional compulsive liar John the Other — remember him? That is, a man who doesn’t seem to take responsibility for anything he says.
Feminism is 100% complete fraud, ALL of it. From the very beginning 50 years ago. Everything you think you know about gender is wrong, so is most of what you think about the world at all. Men are not oppressing women or holding them back. We’ve rolled out the red carpet for you, yet you’re lazy, not all that bright, no ambition, too cowardly and too whiny with no real interests in anything productive anyway. The only one holding you back is yourself.
This is not technically advice, just a bunch of random angry wrongness.
There’s 3,5 billion of you. You’re nothing.
If you think 3.5 billion women and girls is “nothing,” you try fitting even a billion of them into a summer rental on Cape Cod.
Also, there are slightly more men in the world than women, so does this mean that they’re, I dunno, slightly more nothing?
Suck my [deleted] and get lost.
Yeah, I don’t think that one is going to happen for you, champ
Do you realize that in the grand scale of evolution, progress and civilization, women contributed almost nothing compared to men?
I don’t realize that, partly because it’s not true.
If you want to be truly physically, psychologically and spiritually happy, strive to learn how critically important it is to set your emotions and feelings aside while unrelentingly seeking out and attending to TRUTH, FACTS and and irrefutable INFORMATION, even when it makes you uncomfortable to do so (this is where you’ll find out just how coddled and spoiled women are and have been compared to men).
Of course, knowing you’re intractably ingrained with a toddler’s lack of attention, accountability, responsibility and emotional control, we both know offering you the aforementioned nugget of wisdom is a complete waste of time.
Yes, the guy telling you in two rambling paragraphs to set your emotions aside is pounding out angry misogynistic screeds on the internet that intermittently break out in ALL CAPS.
The more people you have sex with, the less interested I am in a relationship with you.
This may be the only bit of actually useful advice for women in the bunch, offering a handy technique that women can use to avoid being pestered quite so often by woman-hating men who still want to have sex with the women they hate. The women in question don’t even have to have sex with a lot of people if they don’t want to; printing up a batch of business cards saying “I’ve had sex with lots of people,” even if you haven’t, should also do the trick.
Possibly. I’m not sure these guys are all that good at taking a hint. I mean, they call their movement “Men Going Their Own Way” but it seems pretty clear that not a single one of them has gone anywhere.
@Lea
Well monotonous could work as well.
I’m aro and spend most of my time, including work, reading about or engaging in my hobbies and interests. It feels real good when someone aims for a weak spot and fails so hard they wind up shooting backwards.
@Carayak: Stormtroopers have better aim than these jerks.
I kinda feel a bit sad for these men. It must be difficult to go through life hating the people you want to fuck, and hating them even more because they don’t want to fuck you.
Which makes even less sense than their usual frothing. “Slut” implies a woman with virtually no standards for a sexual partner, and if even she doesn’t want your dick…
As a general rule, I’m hesitant to take advice about how to be happy from people who are clearly much less happy than I am.
(Although this particular advice is presumably not targeted at me – a non-woman. So maybe the advice isn’t meant to apply to me.)
I notice people talking about women doing he household chorse just ‘because it’s their job’.
My parents are both academic. My mum has a PhD and my dad has masters degree. He didn’t do too well at school so didn’t go to university until he was 22. My mum was university lecturer, management of a coal mine, researcher and all kinds of things when I was young. My dad also worked full time consultant. Both travelled alot for their jobs. Often I was left with my eldest brother in charge (hes 13 years older than me).
But still it was my mother after full days work with papers to mark and reports to write who would still do all the cooking, cleaning, buying food and so on when she got home from work. She managed all of this along with a whole host of hobbies like cycling, learning languages, being the steward at our local church, doing community work and rasing three kids.
My mum is like superhero to me. But I’m sure she’s more like the rule than the exception especially going by just my first hand experience of the other women in my life.
So with that said, I really wonder if these MGTOW have even MET a women more than just to have sex and not talk. Their veiw of other people is so narrow pretty much all they say is total bollox.
Hello.
As i love syllogism, here we go :
3.5 Billions = nothing
Earth = about 7 Billions
=> Earth = 2 times nothing.
Let us have another 3.5 Billions, and we have 3 times nothing, which is something (according to our french expression, at least).
Ah, but if 3.5 Billions of women is nothing, being angry at nothing is not that manly, if you ask me.
Anyway, i love languages. Nothing is the abscence of being (physically, mentally, whatyouwantally), so being nothing is a funny paradoxe. It is like hearing the silence.
Have a nice day.
@occasionalreader
> Axecalibur
We do not have access to youtube at work, sorry. I just try a guess : “The sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel ?
@Leda Atomica
Damn it, I knew this day would come! And I told the others too.
Someone’s bound to see through our nonsensical lies, I said. Women aren’t oppressed, I said. We actually have the upper hand, ’cause vaginas.
Wage gap?
Domestic violence?
Date rape?
Absentee dads?
Sexual harassment?
Stalking?
Those concepts were all made up by the fiendishly clever Marketing Department at Feminism, Inc.
And now the whole house of cards is crashing down around us. . . .
Not my fault, I swear.
@occasionalreader
I always go for the obvious reference 🙂
> Axecalibur
Well, good references are almost always obvious. That is it why they are references ! Though the obviousness of something is always related to personnal history and knowledge, like the joke with piano lesson.
I think to be truly happy, you have to be true to yourself. You need to be authentic, not just a people pleaser. You need to realise that you can’t please everyone, and there’s no point in trying, you will only fail and be seen as a wishy washy person with no mind of their own. I think a lot of women of prior generations were instructed to keep their opinions to themselves, because being seen as having opinions on such things as politics and religion, or being interested in science or philosophy would put off a potential husband. It must have been awful. The media, I believe, is still staunchly patriarchalist, and still tries to shoehorn women into this kind of fickle, puerile mindset by aiming adverts and reality TV, celeb gossip etc at what they consider their “feeemale” demographic. This female demographic is not what they as male ‘mad men’ have been taught to believe. The problem is it aims as a very narrow, captive section of womanhood, the stay at home mum who spends the most money in the supermarket on housekeeping products, and who’s main interactions are with small children. It does not mean to say that this demographic of ‘woman’ has a low reading age and obsession with cleaning, but if you watch the gendered adverts, that is the impression you (especially as a man) would get. I find it hard to believe that women do not seek intellectual stimulation, but unless you are a member of a right wing Christian cult, looking at the mainstream media, you certainly won’t find much evidence for it.
I guess seeing the way my mum was treated by my late father woke me up to this, she was not allowed independent pursuits because he did not approve of her having a life away from feeding him and catering to his boner. Also, as an INFJ I value individuality and being true to one’s self, and cannot stand frauds and people pleasers.
I love the way that one commenter angrily shouts that TRUTH and FACTS and INFORMATION are superior to EMOTIONS. You can almost hear his feet stamping as he screams “LOGIC!” It’s how Spock always won arguments.
People don’t shout when the world is on their side. Quite the opposite. They shout because they’re frustrated and not being heard and their version of things isn’t being accepted. Reality isn’t cooperating. They think if they yell, they can get their point across by brute force.
So I’ll say this as quietly and unemotionally as possible: MGTOW are full of crap.
@Virgin Mary
I believe that I’m an INFJ too. I understand that this is the rarest personality type of all the Meyers-Briggs personality types. It sounds as though my INFJ-ness may be to blame for the fact that I’m honest even when I really shouldn’t be.
These people have never read Terry Pratchett, have they?
@ Virgin Mary & Kat
I was only vaguely aware of that, but I’ve just given it a go. Ooh, spooky. I’m aware that it’s easy with things like this to just give generic profiles that apply to anyone (like that horoscope test thing) but these ones seem very specific, and it’s me down to a tee.
@ dontgiveahoot – thank you, thank you, thank you. You read my mind and you are my new hero 🙂
Granny W. and Nanny O. are the perfect combination, by the by. I still can’t decide which one I love the most, which is no doubt the point.
Meyer-Briggs is mostly a scam. It’s an automatic version of thoses people who cold read you and give you a bunch of generality along with a small bit of personalized information to make you think they know what you are.
It also play on the fact a decent amount of people like to characterize them in one specific way, and tend to exagerate that trait socially. To give an example, if A have a social persona of a shy, closed person, s/he will try to answer the test exagerating that, then will feel validated that the test say him he is that.
(useless tidbit of french : showing off a specific personality translate in french as “camper sa personalité”. AFAIK, campy and camp gay both came from that)
The use of that test however isn’t alway a scam. It’s often a disguised way to persuade people to be more tolerant, more open, or more outspoken. That’s because introducing basic society tips work a lot better when disguised as “a way to deal with your personality tip” than as “you suck, do that” type of lesson.
In short, if you want a way to know how someone think, Meyers-Briggs is useless. But if you want to make people think about themselve, or if you want to give communication tips without provoking rejections, then it can be useful.
It’s often used with IT guys and gals, because, at least in France, most of thoses people voluntary force their personality in the “quirky asocial nerd”, and will react badly to any tentative into tentative of changing their communication style, but they will usually react a lot better in stealthy, apparently scientific way to explain their personalities.
@Nequam & Kat
Please let’s not go there. My own father is basically the proto-MRA, and the archetype of why some women and their kids are in for years (in this case 15 and counting) of abuse for the crime of divorcing. Among other shitty things, all woman-hate related.
He’s not the reason why I became a feminist, but he is certainly part of the reason why I had such an easy time understanding that misogyny and patriarchy are indeed things that exist and need fighting back against.
But I still kinda need him to have contributed to the gene pool at some point. Sadly. The reason the whole “gene pool” thing makes me uncomfortable is because I spent years obsessing that his genes somehow were going to make me like him at some point in the near future and it was a source of anxiety on top of a whole bunch of other things to worry about as a teenager.
On the other hand, I was born thanks to an IVF, so I get to say that just because he jerked off in a jar at some point doesn’t mean I owe him anything. \o/
ALL OF THEM, EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE.
@SinkableJohn : thanks for the post. I was indeed uneasy too about thoses jokes.
@ moggie
That was “something wonderful”.
@Ohlmann
There’s also the very real possibility that those jokes could be used with ableist undertones in specific contexts (i.e genetic diseases), and I only just thought of that. That’s a much more valid point than the one I first made.
On the other hand, I’m alright with saying these guys should never, ever, get to raise children, whether they fathered those kids or not. For pretty much the same reason as stated above.
@Moggie & Alan
No Man’s Sky comes out tonight in Europe, and I’ll be busy personally earning as many worlds as possible by discovering, naming, and charting them. I also encourage MGTOWs to “go their own way” in this game, which should keep them busy long enough that the internet can catch a break. Space is a big enough place that I shouldn’t have to worry about ever encountering them anyway.