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Men Going Their Own Way celebrate “I Hate Valentine’s Day”

Women, so demanding on Valentine's Day
Women, so demanding on Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day! Or, as it’s known by a small and bitter segment of male humans who base their very identity on hatred of women, International MGTOW Day.

On Twitter, some of these lovely fellows are celebrating their freedom from having to possibly buy some evil succubus a box of candy.

https://twitter.com/JohnnyFoxRox/status/698888957115785217

Oh, and fantasizing about putting feminists and “Social Justice Warriors” in concentration camps.

https://twitter.com/JohnnyFoxRox/status/698895149586231297

Sorry, I should have specified that these concentration camps would be very nice concentration camps.

Speaking of which, our old friend Andrea Hardie/Janet Bloomfield/JudgyBitch popped into the #MGTOW hashtag today to make a joke about how Hitler killed himself because Eva Braun nagged him too much, or something.

https://twitter.com/AndreaHardie/status/698978316372545536

In general, though, it seems like the annual MRA/MGTOW freakout over Valentine’s Day is a bit more subdued this year than it has been in the past. Over on A Voice for Men they’ve gotten so lazy that all they did was to repost a couple of rants about the holiday they ran in previous years. (See here for my many dissections of Anti-V-Day rants from years past.)

Are these guys actually getting tired of their own stupid schtick?

Anyway, here’s a reminder that even beta orbiters can enjoy V-Day.

Happy Beta Orbiter Day!
Happy Beta Orbiter Day!

 

 

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Olive O'Sudden
Olive O'Sudden
6 years ago

JudgyBitch is so ignorant it’s almost laughable. The truth about Hitler is that he was a teenage stalker and all the women he ever had intimate relations with attempted suicide.

Bina
6 years ago

@chiomara:

He agreed to stop using that word and wondered what word will I forbid tomorrow. He suggested that tomorrow I have a clean start and a second chance in our relationship. Not “us”, only “I”. I don’t want to break up. Not because of something so small. I just want him to be more respectful. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I am being abusive, even.

You most certainly are NOT! But it sure sounds like he is. Hugs and extra kitties if you need them…

Chiomara
Chiomara
6 years ago

@Everyone
In general, he is a wonderful person. He basically changed his whole life for better after he met me. He did pretty messed up things and I said I would only be with him if everything was safe and legal. He is breaking his back, working 12 hours a day, he did therapy, he is leaving his country to come to mine. Everyone, including his therapist, who became my close friend, said I am the best thing that ever happened to him and that he loves me above anything. When we met I was almost 18. He studied history and philosophy and is 10 years older, so I treated him almost as mentor. We debated – that’s literally my only way of interaction every since I am 12, debating – and I always ended up agreeing for lack of arguments. Not difficult, because he is one of the smartest people I ever met, and, modesty aside, academically, I am pretty smart myself, so I don’t find everyone amazingly smart.
Then I was raped and in the blink of an eye I saw social issues. And I entered feminism. While that, he was watching thunderfoot, amazing atheist, you name it. This, combined with his smartness, made him, like Dawkins and tfart himself, impossible to argue with. He is even acquainted to tfart. But now I am more vocal, and I am 21. So now we fight about feminism. All the time. Imagine Dawkins married sarkeezian and loves her until she says anything feminist, in which point he calls her sjw, dumb, why don’t you go to the middle east, this is reverse racism, freeze peach, etc, etc, etc.
It would be easy if I could shut up about feminism. And I tried. But I can’t.

Bina
6 years ago

remember Toffifay? You can get a 15-pack at Cost Plus World Market

YUM! Which reminds me, tomorrow is Cheap Chocolate Day. Gird your loins, everyone, and may your hauls be excellent!

Skiriki
Skiriki
6 years ago

Furrinati wants everyone in this place to have a very good day, whether or not you celebrate today as Valentine’s or as something else. All hail Katie the Cat Empress, ruler of the Furrinati Fempire!

http://i.imgur.com/vLrLhTG.jpg

Chiomara
Chiomara
6 years ago

I love him. I love him so much. And he loves me too. He sacrificed so much for me, seems unfair I can’t simply avoid this subject with him so we can be together in peace. But I don’t know how to.

You are all wonderful. I want to hug each one of you. Feminist community is such a wonderful community, most of the time. There’s so much empathy and love. I don’t understand why people hate us so much.

SCH
SCH
6 years ago

These guys get a cactus up their butts over a holiday they have no worry of having any expectation to participate in… too funny. lol

bluecat
bluecat
6 years ago

We chilled, read, talked, went for a walk by the river, ate out in a pub, came home and cuddled up with the cats. I did a little writing, and drew him a card. We shared some chocolate.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

@Chiomara: Honestly? It doesn’t sound like it’s going to get any better.

And I apologize if I’m stepping on toes here, because I don’t know the two of you: But it sounds like what his therapist and everyone else he knows is trying to do is rope you into staying with him. It sounds very similar to “if you left me, I’d kill myself”, and meanwhile he’s out making you miserable because you asked him to be a little courteous, and he’s saying it’s no big deal while throwing a massive tantrum over it and hurling blame on you for it (“You ruined it”, “What word will you ban tomorrow?”). He’s trying to make you feel bad, and this is a common abuser’s tactic.

He doesn’t sound good for you. I know you love him very much, and I don’t know all of the details of the situation, but please consider leaving him, even as only an option for now. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect and love, and not treat you like you can only be loved if you cowtow to them and meet all of their demands and hide what matters to you in order to keep them happy.

You deserve to be able to talk about what is important to you, and if he refuses to acknowledge it, then he’s not right for you, and I would even go so far as to say that he doesn’t love you at all, so much as he loves the idea of being with you.

I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but these are only my thoughts.

All of the hugs for you, and I’ll send lots of good, loving energy your way. You really need it.

Noadi
Noadi
6 years ago

I watched horror movies most if the day and then I had some rum and cried. Today really sucks. What my ex put me through with his lies, manipulation, and cheating still really hurts and on top of it all I still miss the good parts like cuddling and watching movies. I’m kind of a mess right now and still a bit tipsy.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

SCH | February 14, 2016 at 8:38 pm
These guys get a cactus up their butts over a holiday they have no worry of having any expectation to participate in… too funny. lol

I think that’s just it though: They’re mad they don’t get to participate.

It’s not that they hate women, they want to do all these things, they’re just butthurt women won’t do it with them the way they dictate it, and now they’re acting like many men do when they don’t get their way from a woman: “Fine! I didn’t want to participate in your stupid holiday anyways!!! And you’re fat!”

Also: Warm hugs and love to all of us who are single today. At least tomorrow the candy will be on sale.

And I talked with Jackie about making something called a Lillith’s Fair where we celebrate single women, women who got cheated on, dumped, and especially divorced moms on Valentine’s Day.

Just as a way to get women some extra love.

It started out as a misunderstanding with a Parks and Recs gifset, if you can believe it.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Noadi,
I remember you talking about in another thread. I’m sorry it’s still hard for you and I hope you feel better soon. Hugs if you want em.

kupo
kupo
6 years ago

It would be easy if I could shut up about feminism. And I tried. But I can’t.

So then, it’s not going to be easy. You can’t change him, and you shouldn’t give up feminism for him (or really I should say you shouldn’t change yourself for him, only for yourself if you feel it will improve your life).

You say he’s bettering himself, which is great and I’m glad to hear that, and glad to hear that he’s in therapy. That’s huge. But he also shouldn’t change himself for you, he should do it for himself, to better himself, and that might not align with your needs. Do you think he’s headed on a path that will be good for you?

I’m trying to say you need to take your needs into consideration, is all.

I’m sorry if I made you feel defensive. I’m not trying to say he’s a terrible person. You clearly love him. But his behavior isn’t always good for you. You’ve mentioned these issues before. It clearly upsets you, and he’s not acknowledging that. I don’t think he’s going to look out for your needs at this point in his life. Maybe with more therapy he will get there, but for now you should start thinking about what you need to get your needs met. Maybe it’s getting some therapy yourself, maybe it’s setting aside some time to be alone with a good book. Just give it some thought, and don’t feel like you’re wasting our time.

And if you don’t want help and just want to unload, just say so and I’ll just listen and give support anf shut my mouth. I can’t vouch for the others, but I think most people understand that “helping” isn’t always helpful.

@Naodi
Sorry you’re having a rough day. Sounds like you spent it well, though. I hope things get better. (Really, autocorrect, bette? We’re autocorrecting from English to français now?)

msexceptiontotherule
6 years ago

@Chiomara

You want I should come to Brazil to beat him up? I can do that…gonna have to give me a few weeks to come up with the cash…oh and I can understand more Spanish and Portuguese than I can speak (much better with Spanish though) so mostly I’d just be smiling and nodding until it’s time to get the brass knuckles out of my purse. 😉

Love can involve sacrifice, but if that begins to take on the flavor of ‘you should feel guilty, look how much I’ve sacrificed, why aren’t you more grateful?!’ that’s not good. Sometimes we outgrow relationships, even when we love the person a whole lot and they love us…it’s like getting to a crossroads and the direction we know we need to head in is one they aren’t meant to follow. Never feel like you have to keep your fire tamped down to ash and fading embers – be a bonfire without apology!

***********

S/o and I had dinner and plan on watching zombies a little later thanks to the walking dead resuming new episodes tonight after the mid-season finale and break. Low key valentine’s day. I only grumbled about the hassle coming up with getting the inside of the house painted a little bit. Not looking forward to emptying cabinets and pulling everything away from the walls, or the mess from scraping off the acoustic ceiling spray-stuff. But it must be dealt with and done.

Banananana dakry
Banananana dakry
6 years ago

I was supposed to work today but ended up calling in sick because the bug I’d had earlier in the week came back for Act II: Phlegm, and I couldn’t sleep worth a damn. Fucking delayed charge virus. I thought I’d gotten better, stayed up too late, and– YAY! HIII! We’re gonna make you sound like an asthmatic trucker!

I spent the entire afternoon out like a light, then the husbot got some VDay pizza with free breadsticks from Mountain Mike’s. He had to pick it up because the poor bastards apparently got bombarded this evening and two delivery drivers called in sick. All of my feels for them: I’m sure they never expected to be the VDay nom of choice for non-resturaunters either.

The pizza is pretty good, though. And the husbot is awesome.

Chiomara, Noadi: *hugs*

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
6 years ago

So now we fight about feminism. All the time.

You have to do what’s best for you and only you can make that decision.

However, that’s a huge red flag, and the fact that he has contempt for you is an even bigger one.

You may well be better off alone. It’s lonely, but it’s also peaceful and affords a great deal of freedom.

And your chances of finding someone else are not as low as you think, either. They are never as low as people think they are, really.

Love is nice, but love isn’t even close to being enough to make a relationship work.

kupo
kupo
6 years ago

Love is nice, but love isn’t even close to being enough to make a relationship work.

Quoted for the truth. Also, love is not as special, magical, or unique as we’re led to believe. IMO, the more times we fall in love, the better we get at it. 🙂

Lehti
6 years ago

The only thing more annoying than Valentine’s day is people complaining about Valentine’s day.

Moocow
6 years ago

I have yet to celebrate a Valentine’s day with someone, so today I spent the day recording my next video and playing more Undertale which, to someone who dearly loves games with good storytelling, is an absolute masterpiece!

Happy Valentine’s day to everyone! Hugs to Noadi and Chiomara and anyone else going through tough times.

Ashara Payne
Ashara Payne
6 years ago

Chiomara, you are very young. I married at your age and ignored all the warning signs. Eventually he cheated, lied and left me. You deserve better. Don’t wait until you have children. Life is too short, your values are the single most important thing to compatibility, more than hobbies, interests, class, even sense of humor. He is also older, and less likely to change.
My ex became more sexist the older he got, unless he just hid it well when he was younger. I think having no sisters made him worse. Having daughters didn’t help, he just sees them as little princesses needing protection. You don’t necessary need to leave, but he needs to know that you’re considering it because of this attitude. Big hugs and I hope you get the clarity you need to make the right decision.

Ashara Payne
Ashara Payne
6 years ago

Noadi, sending hugs your way. Manipulation, lies and cheating are exactly what I’ve been through, too. It’s tough. Stay strong and surround yourself with your friends and supportive family.

Luzbelitx
6 years ago

@Chiomara

This is not the first time I read you about your relatinship, and feel it very strongly reflects my last partner. He didn’t go full MRA, but remains a brogressive.

He too was a mentor for me despite being slightly youger, so the age relation was certainly differeny. However, he wad more experienced than myself in politics and sort of took me under his wing.

Then I too discovered feminism, through the Slutwalk movement no less. And he too seemed annoyed about this new subject and the idea of me having different opinions and behaviors (we used to “rate” the women we saw on public places, I was a severe case of “cool girl” back then).

I feel kupo and Paradoxy have said most of what I would say based on my own experience.

I will also add that in the end he left me, after years of me hanging in there and hoping we would openly talk our issues.

The last time I saw him, about two months after he broke up with me, he still didn’t get that him not communicating with me for a whole year is not a problem that can be demonstrated a few fucking sentences, because if I could we wouldn’t have a communication problem in the first effing place!

*takes a breath*

I also tried to patiently explain to him that we had to agree certain “rules” about what behaviors we as a couple would consider acceptable. The idea that this could or should be done was alien to him. Or so it seemed.

He tried to rephrase this as me judging him for what he feels. And when I answered that I wasn’t referring to his feelings but his behaviors, because unlike our feelings we decide our behavior, he said I only care about *my* feelings. He was a gaslighting bastard.

I left at that exact moment, because I couldn’t have that conversation yet again. I had decided beforehand, and let him know, that it would be our last encounter and I would remove him from my life. He appeared confident that he would gaslight me into “being friends” whatever that meant for him.

I felt frustrated I couldn’t have a friendly closure, but I felt in peace for leaving the right moment he began displaying the problematic behaviors that were draining me of energy.

But after the hours passed I started feeling terrible and as torn apart as the day he left me. It was like starting to process the breakup all over again.

He also had a “list of guilt”, which wasn’t made of things he resigned but of all the work he did (full time helpdesk job + political activism + degree in political studies) and I hope I’m not overstepping here, but the way you enumerated evoked in me the way he would bring it up as a shield. I ended up repeating it by heart as well. He did that a lot, with many different topics, reasserting his key phrases again, and again. I only was able to see the pattern after months of being away from him.

Which reminds me: The series Jessica Jones treats abusive relationships in a very interesting and honest life. I know it’s been discussed here before, and that encouraged me to watch it so I pass it on.

I could go on but it’s 1:20 am and I was camping in a different province this morning.

I have more thoughts on this, hopefully I can be back and share.

Teal deer: Happy Valentines

Chiomara
Chiomara
6 years ago

I am by the cellphone and it’s difficult to copy paste all of your names, but my dears, I read every single one of them and I am so so thankful for you to take the time to talk to me.
Brogressive. This is such a perfect word. Fits him so well. I have one of my own called broslamofeminist. It’s when a western man is pro feminism, but only if it’s practiced in middle east or gives him excuse to be islamophobic. This describes him and Dawkins (hell, he is pretty much Dawkins with a wig.)

I have good news, I listened to you and for the first time I gave him an ultimatum. I explained the problem with the word civilized, I explained I am a person and not his walking talking latina fetish, that if he wants children with me he will have to educate himself or admit his absolute ignorance, and love me for who I am and treat me with respect and if otherwise, as much as it hurts, it’s over. And I will shut up never, because if there’s one thing I learned is the only thing women like me have is a loud voice and we go down, but not without making a lot of noise.
He has 24 hours to decide.

And honestly? If he wants to leave as well as everyone else and every other person is either undesirable or don’t want me, dogs are better than people and donated sperm is a thing, anyway. So who cares, amirite. I think I am gonna buy rum and coke and have some kick ass Cuba libres in honor to the superiority of dogs and cats and cockatoos in relation to most men (no offense, boys, you know it’s true), to the loneliness of the activists and of the big mouthed women, to the existence of pecan nuts, and the excellence of the Mammotheers. Cheers.

Hey, do you think I can legally marry my cat? He is a nice boy, even though he bites. I can’t have sex with him, but I can’t have sex with a guy who lives in Europe either, so…

Onionknight
Onionknight
6 years ago

As a young MGTOW, it does sadden me to see rage take over as it’s really not healthy. Then again, I really haven’t been wronged in any way relationship-wise so it’s difficult for me to empathize with them as much as I take a more objective look at why I wouldn’t marry. All we can do is hope that they can confront and come to terms with their feelings. The good news is that for everyone else commenting who will indubitably be in disagreement with me, this shows that men can express emotions instead of bottling it all up.

mechazawa
mechazawa
6 years ago

@chiomara; good for you. it’s a shame he put you in such a difficult position, you deserve better.

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