antifeminism antifeminist women evil overpriced women evil sexy ladies evil SJWs MGTOW misogyny MRA

Men Going Their Own Way celebrate “I Hate Valentine’s Day”

Women, so demanding on Valentine's Day
Women, so demanding on Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day! Or, as it’s known by a small and bitter segment of male humans who base their very identity on hatred of women, International MGTOW Day.

On Twitter, some of these lovely fellows are celebrating their freedom from having to possibly buy some evil succubus a box of candy.

Oh, and fantasizing about putting feminists and “Social Justice Warriors” in concentration camps.

Sorry, I should have specified that these concentration camps would be very nice concentration camps.

Speaking of which, our old friend Andrea Hardie/Janet Bloomfield/JudgyBitch popped into the #MGTOW hashtag today to make a joke about how Hitler killed himself because Eva Braun nagged him too much, or something.

In general, though, it seems like the annual MRA/MGTOW freakout over Valentine’s Day is a bit more subdued this year than it has been in the past. Over on A Voice for Men they’ve gotten so lazy that all they did was to repost a couple of rants about the holiday they ran in previous years. (See here for my many dissections of Anti-V-Day rants from years past.)

Are these guys actually getting tired of their own stupid schtick?

Anyway, here’s a reminder that even beta orbiters can enjoy V-Day.

Happy Beta Orbiter Day!
Happy Beta Orbiter Day!



100 replies on “Men Going Their Own Way celebrate “I Hate Valentine’s Day””

These MGTOWs haven’t gotten a date since the ’50s, which is probably why they assume the man must pay for everything.

Anyway, did anyone else see Deadpool? I took my BF to it (I bought the tix and cab ride, he smuggled in concessions) and I thought it was pretty good. Not like, see-it-twice-in-theaters good, but would-watch-again on Netflix good. That’s like 70-80% good.

I spent the day with my kids. We baked. They played with friends. There was candy. It was nice. I got a homemade card. Sure, Valentine’s Day is silly and shouldn’t be taken too seriously. But is there any day these people use to celebrate their loved ones or just have fun?

It must be truly horrible to be in such a state of hate every single day.

Happy Valentine’s y’all. Hope you have some fun.

Valentine’s day is awful. So lets put SJWs in concentration camps! How does this even make sense? If there’s one segment of the population that doesn’t make a big thing about V-Day, it’s the “SJWs.” Feminists tend to be uncomfortable with the culture coercing men into spending lots of money and/or making a romantic gesture and women being coerced into doing sex acts to pay for all this romance. A lot of the people on the left are pretty anti-capitalist and aren’t really down with the holiday because of that.

So what’s his problem?

Oh yeah. MRAs and MGTOWs aren’t actually fighting oppressive traditional gender roles. They just hate women!

Can we talk about steak and bj day? It pisses me off so much that some guys who decided valentine’s day is all about pleasing women, so they hijacked pi day and made it all about them instead of maybe talking to their significant others about wanting to get something for Valentine’s day, too.

I had a huge fight with my so because he insisted on using “savage” as a synonym to despicable and “civilized” as a synonym to decent. I talked about some awful things men do to women here and he said they are not civilized, nor is my country, if this is considered normal. I very politely said “Yes, I agree, it’s horrible, but I don’t think ‘civilized’ is very nice word. So, what did you do today” he said he didn’t mean it this way, I said “I know, but this expression is offensive, especially you being European and me being Brazilian of amerindian ascendancy”, he didn’t let me finish my sentences and started raising his tone at me. He denied all my explanations, insisted on using the word, then said I was making a big deal out of nothing.
This ruined the entire day. I swear I didn’t want to make a big deal out of this, it was supposed to be a friendly remark. He called me SJW. He said I ruined the day. I made a big deal out of nothing.
I will never understand why privileged people are like this. For him, it’s just a word. For me, it’s a big deal. So why can’t he just use one of tens of synonyms, or at least use the word while respecting what I said? I would never say such horrible things just because someone corrected a single word of mine.
Thing was so bad I descended into full panic attack because everyone freaking hates me, because they think I either care too much or I don’t care enough. And at the same time life is so difficult and honestly just expect a tiny bit of respect because I am human too, but apparently, I don’t deserve. Either because I am a woman or because I am brazilian or because I am bisexual, or I fight and care too much or I fight and care too little, and I honestly, I HONESTLY don’t know what is so wrong with everything I do and am.
He agreed to stop using that word and wondered what word will I forbid tomorrow. He suggested that tomorrow I have a clean start and a second chance in our relationship. Not “us”, only “I”. I don’t want to break up. Not because of something so small. I just want him to be more respectful. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I am being abusive, even.

I honestly think the best thing I can do to the world is get my head 24/7 into some kind of volunteer work and give up any kind of relationship with any human being forever. I am so tired of existing in a world like this. I am so tired of trying to help and making everything worse.

Rant is over. I am sorry, I know I always do this. It’s pathetic, I know. People may take a print and mock me, I know. Happy valentine’s.

I spent a lot of the day knitting and chatting with my best friend. Then I made chicken paprikash for dinner with Mr. Parasol. No cards or other gifts exchanged. There are many ways to say “I love you,” after all.

My life is abuse. My life is harassment. There’s no man in the world who thinks I am worth of flirting, who thinks I am worth anything other than crude sexual remarks or something forced and when I find a man who truly loves me and helps me and wants a family with me and even finds me attractive, I ruin it to defend people who never did anything good to me. I don’t know what is my goddamn problem. Can anyone explain? I am sorry for doing this pathetic shit here. It’s like I am a teen asking for attention. But I just needed to talk to some strangers to think like me. Thank you for the space.


A world of hugs coming your way! I’m so sorry this is happening to you. 🙁

EDIT: Let me know if there’s anything I can do?

TW: gaslighting/emotional abuse, suicidal thoughts
I’m sorry you’re going through that. There’s nothing wrong with you. I’ve been in a similar relationship. It really sucks. You love him, but he does these little things that upset you and when you try to talk about it he freaks out and turns it against you, and you’re both too sensitive and not empathetic enough in his eyes. I’ve been there.

I wish I could tell you it gets better. For me, it got harder. I kept trying to leave and it would turn into these drawn-out arguments where I became the bad guy for wanting to leave. I did love him, and it broke my heart to see him upset and it broke me every time and I never managed to leave. I made up my mind to leave, again, but then he got cancer and I had to put everything on hold for him. He was still my best friend; I couldn’t just leave him to die. So I took care of him for those last months and it took everything out of me and nearly killed me, too. If I’d had more energy, I might have managed to kill myself.

It took years to get better, but I did. I no longer had him spending all my money on frivolous crap, pushing me further into credit card debt, so I was finally able to pay it off. I was able to afford college and get a degree. And I was free to date again. I ended up meeting a man who treated me well, respected me, put my needs before his sometimes and understands when I sometimes can’t put his needs before mine. I thought, like you, that there was something wrong with me and that I would never find that in a partner.

I know it’s not easy to pull yourself out of that thinking, especially when you don’t have the support you need from your partner. But just know that it could be better, that you could find better.

Hugs, if you want them.

If the word is “nothing,” then why did he insist on using it?

And the word isn’t nothing to you. He should care about your feelings.

If he asked you not to use a word because it was offensive to him, what would you do?

Thought so.

Anyway, it’s easy to think the world is against you when you’ve had a fight with someone. That doesn’t make it true.

Take a walk. Turn on some happy music. Treat yourself really well.

All best wishes.

I think for my husband and I our real Valentine’s celebration was last Wednesday the 10th. We went out to a local favorite restaurant for supper, split a small box of candy (remember Toffifay? You can get a 15-pack at Cost Plus World Market), and then enjoyed an organ recital/screening of The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari with live accompaniment.

Today we mostly lazed and dozed. I’ve been pretty stressed out about my dad, so I think I needed to just rest.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his, she/her pronouns)says:

Isn’t Janet Bloomfield married?

@ Chiomara

You’ve gotten some good advice here already, so I’m just going to send you best wishes, and I hope you find someone who values you for everything you are, not despite the things about you that “ruin his day.”

@Chiomara: That he “wondered what word will I forbid tomorrow” doesn’t speak well for his maturity level. I’m sorry. We don’t know each other as I’m a pretty new commenter here, but you have my best wishes. Be kind to yourself.

@katz: That’s how I imagine my intended shops for flowers (or as he calls them, “weeds”). Not candy, though. He’s alllll about the candy.


I’m fairly sure you’ve posted here before about your partner doing similar stuff – gaslighting, denying privilege, getting a bit “mra”.

In the time you’ve been with him has it generally got better or worse? If it’s getting worse then leaving him might be the best option.

I hope you find the right answer for you.

You did nothing wrong at all. The word “savage” absolutely has racist and xenophobic connotations and your discomfort with it is entirely valid. Same with civilized, which is often used as shorthand for a culture is white, therefore good.

@Chimera I’m sorry you’re with someone so immature. I’m white so I know I’ll never be able to understand you’re perspective totally, but I really get why civilised and savage would be offensive. Colonialism was predicated on “civilizing the savages”. Methinks you ought to find yourself a new man.

This Valentine’s day was great. My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, then I went home, and in the morning told my wife all about it. She was happy for me, she and I spent V Day just hanging out around the house with our kids. (For the record, I’m bisexual, married, and have a boyfriend which my wife is perfectly cool with, because she is awesome like that).

That meme is slightly odd; going by the standard MGTOW/MRA alpha/beta obsessed worldview why wouldn’t Hitler have had a girlfriend?

i spent the day playing 13 hours straight of video games with my boy. very fun, and i didn’t even have to siphon his wallet ♥

I’d also like to add that if I can help in any way, please do let me know. Even if it’s just to send you some pecans (I hope I’m remembering correctly that you like pecan pie).

JudgyBitch is so ignorant it’s almost laughable. The truth about Hitler is that he was a teenage stalker and all the women he ever had intimate relations with attempted suicide.


He agreed to stop using that word and wondered what word will I forbid tomorrow. He suggested that tomorrow I have a clean start and a second chance in our relationship. Not “us”, only “I”. I don’t want to break up. Not because of something so small. I just want him to be more respectful. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I am being abusive, even.

You most certainly are NOT! But it sure sounds like he is. Hugs and extra kitties if you need them…

In general, he is a wonderful person. He basically changed his whole life for better after he met me. He did pretty messed up things and I said I would only be with him if everything was safe and legal. He is breaking his back, working 12 hours a day, he did therapy, he is leaving his country to come to mine. Everyone, including his therapist, who became my close friend, said I am the best thing that ever happened to him and that he loves me above anything. When we met I was almost 18. He studied history and philosophy and is 10 years older, so I treated him almost as mentor. We debated – that’s literally my only way of interaction every since I am 12, debating – and I always ended up agreeing for lack of arguments. Not difficult, because he is one of the smartest people I ever met, and, modesty aside, academically, I am pretty smart myself, so I don’t find everyone amazingly smart.
Then I was raped and in the blink of an eye I saw social issues. And I entered feminism. While that, he was watching thunderfoot, amazing atheist, you name it. This, combined with his smartness, made him, like Dawkins and tfart himself, impossible to argue with. He is even acquainted to tfart. But now I am more vocal, and I am 21. So now we fight about feminism. All the time. Imagine Dawkins married sarkeezian and loves her until she says anything feminist, in which point he calls her sjw, dumb, why don’t you go to the middle east, this is reverse racism, freeze peach, etc, etc, etc.
It would be easy if I could shut up about feminism. And I tried. But I can’t.

remember Toffifay? You can get a 15-pack at Cost Plus World Market

YUM! Which reminds me, tomorrow is Cheap Chocolate Day. Gird your loins, everyone, and may your hauls be excellent!

I love him. I love him so much. And he loves me too. He sacrificed so much for me, seems unfair I can’t simply avoid this subject with him so we can be together in peace. But I don’t know how to.

You are all wonderful. I want to hug each one of you. Feminist community is such a wonderful community, most of the time. There’s so much empathy and love. I don’t understand why people hate us so much.

These guys get a cactus up their butts over a holiday they have no worry of having any expectation to participate in… too funny. lol

We chilled, read, talked, went for a walk by the river, ate out in a pub, came home and cuddled up with the cats. I did a little writing, and drew him a card. We shared some chocolate.

@Chiomara: Honestly? It doesn’t sound like it’s going to get any better.

And I apologize if I’m stepping on toes here, because I don’t know the two of you: But it sounds like what his therapist and everyone else he knows is trying to do is rope you into staying with him. It sounds very similar to “if you left me, I’d kill myself”, and meanwhile he’s out making you miserable because you asked him to be a little courteous, and he’s saying it’s no big deal while throwing a massive tantrum over it and hurling blame on you for it (“You ruined it”, “What word will you ban tomorrow?”). He’s trying to make you feel bad, and this is a common abuser’s tactic.

He doesn’t sound good for you. I know you love him very much, and I don’t know all of the details of the situation, but please consider leaving him, even as only an option for now. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect and love, and not treat you like you can only be loved if you cowtow to them and meet all of their demands and hide what matters to you in order to keep them happy.

You deserve to be able to talk about what is important to you, and if he refuses to acknowledge it, then he’s not right for you, and I would even go so far as to say that he doesn’t love you at all, so much as he loves the idea of being with you.

I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but these are only my thoughts.

All of the hugs for you, and I’ll send lots of good, loving energy your way. You really need it.

I watched horror movies most if the day and then I had some rum and cried. Today really sucks. What my ex put me through with his lies, manipulation, and cheating still really hurts and on top of it all I still miss the good parts like cuddling and watching movies. I’m kind of a mess right now and still a bit tipsy.

SCH | February 14, 2016 at 8:38 pm
These guys get a cactus up their butts over a holiday they have no worry of having any expectation to participate in… too funny. lol

I think that’s just it though: They’re mad they don’t get to participate.

It’s not that they hate women, they want to do all these things, they’re just butthurt women won’t do it with them the way they dictate it, and now they’re acting like many men do when they don’t get their way from a woman: “Fine! I didn’t want to participate in your stupid holiday anyways!!! And you’re fat!”

Also: Warm hugs and love to all of us who are single today. At least tomorrow the candy will be on sale.

And I talked with Jackie about making something called a Lillith’s Fair where we celebrate single women, women who got cheated on, dumped, and especially divorced moms on Valentine’s Day.

Just as a way to get women some extra love.

It started out as a misunderstanding with a Parks and Recs gifset, if you can believe it.

It would be easy if I could shut up about feminism. And I tried. But I can’t.

So then, it’s not going to be easy. You can’t change him, and you shouldn’t give up feminism for him (or really I should say you shouldn’t change yourself for him, only for yourself if you feel it will improve your life).

You say he’s bettering himself, which is great and I’m glad to hear that, and glad to hear that he’s in therapy. That’s huge. But he also shouldn’t change himself for you, he should do it for himself, to better himself, and that might not align with your needs. Do you think he’s headed on a path that will be good for you?

I’m trying to say you need to take your needs into consideration, is all.

I’m sorry if I made you feel defensive. I’m not trying to say he’s a terrible person. You clearly love him. But his behavior isn’t always good for you. You’ve mentioned these issues before. It clearly upsets you, and he’s not acknowledging that. I don’t think he’s going to look out for your needs at this point in his life. Maybe with more therapy he will get there, but for now you should start thinking about what you need to get your needs met. Maybe it’s getting some therapy yourself, maybe it’s setting aside some time to be alone with a good book. Just give it some thought, and don’t feel like you’re wasting our time.

And if you don’t want help and just want to unload, just say so and I’ll just listen and give support anf shut my mouth. I can’t vouch for the others, but I think most people understand that “helping” isn’t always helpful.

Sorry you’re having a rough day. Sounds like you spent it well, though. I hope things get better. (Really, autocorrect, bette? We’re autocorrecting from English to français now?)


You want I should come to Brazil to beat him up? I can do that…gonna have to give me a few weeks to come up with the cash…oh and I can understand more Spanish and Portuguese than I can speak (much better with Spanish though) so mostly I’d just be smiling and nodding until it’s time to get the brass knuckles out of my purse. 😉

Love can involve sacrifice, but if that begins to take on the flavor of ‘you should feel guilty, look how much I’ve sacrificed, why aren’t you more grateful?!’ that’s not good. Sometimes we outgrow relationships, even when we love the person a whole lot and they love us…it’s like getting to a crossroads and the direction we know we need to head in is one they aren’t meant to follow. Never feel like you have to keep your fire tamped down to ash and fading embers – be a bonfire without apology!


S/o and I had dinner and plan on watching zombies a little later thanks to the walking dead resuming new episodes tonight after the mid-season finale and break. Low key valentine’s day. I only grumbled about the hassle coming up with getting the inside of the house painted a little bit. Not looking forward to emptying cabinets and pulling everything away from the walls, or the mess from scraping off the acoustic ceiling spray-stuff. But it must be dealt with and done.

I was supposed to work today but ended up calling in sick because the bug I’d had earlier in the week came back for Act II: Phlegm, and I couldn’t sleep worth a damn. Fucking delayed charge virus. I thought I’d gotten better, stayed up too late, and– YAY! HIII! We’re gonna make you sound like an asthmatic trucker!

I spent the entire afternoon out like a light, then the husbot got some VDay pizza with free breadsticks from Mountain Mike’s. He had to pick it up because the poor bastards apparently got bombarded this evening and two delivery drivers called in sick. All of my feels for them: I’m sure they never expected to be the VDay nom of choice for non-resturaunters either.

The pizza is pretty good, though. And the husbot is awesome.

Chiomara, Noadi: *hugs*

So now we fight about feminism. All the time.

You have to do what’s best for you and only you can make that decision.

However, that’s a huge red flag, and the fact that he has contempt for you is an even bigger one.

You may well be better off alone. It’s lonely, but it’s also peaceful and affords a great deal of freedom.

And your chances of finding someone else are not as low as you think, either. They are never as low as people think they are, really.

Love is nice, but love isn’t even close to being enough to make a relationship work.

Love is nice, but love isn’t even close to being enough to make a relationship work.

Quoted for the truth. Also, love is not as special, magical, or unique as we’re led to believe. IMO, the more times we fall in love, the better we get at it. 🙂

I have yet to celebrate a Valentine’s day with someone, so today I spent the day recording my next video and playing more Undertale which, to someone who dearly loves games with good storytelling, is an absolute masterpiece!

Happy Valentine’s day to everyone! Hugs to Noadi and Chiomara and anyone else going through tough times.

Chiomara, you are very young. I married at your age and ignored all the warning signs. Eventually he cheated, lied and left me. You deserve better. Don’t wait until you have children. Life is too short, your values are the single most important thing to compatibility, more than hobbies, interests, class, even sense of humor. He is also older, and less likely to change.
My ex became more sexist the older he got, unless he just hid it well when he was younger. I think having no sisters made him worse. Having daughters didn’t help, he just sees them as little princesses needing protection. You don’t necessary need to leave, but he needs to know that you’re considering it because of this attitude. Big hugs and I hope you get the clarity you need to make the right decision.

Noadi, sending hugs your way. Manipulation, lies and cheating are exactly what I’ve been through, too. It’s tough. Stay strong and surround yourself with your friends and supportive family.


This is not the first time I read you about your relatinship, and feel it very strongly reflects my last partner. He didn’t go full MRA, but remains a brogressive.

He too was a mentor for me despite being slightly youger, so the age relation was certainly differeny. However, he wad more experienced than myself in politics and sort of took me under his wing.

Then I too discovered feminism, through the Slutwalk movement no less. And he too seemed annoyed about this new subject and the idea of me having different opinions and behaviors (we used to “rate” the women we saw on public places, I was a severe case of “cool girl” back then).

I feel kupo and Paradoxy have said most of what I would say based on my own experience.

I will also add that in the end he left me, after years of me hanging in there and hoping we would openly talk our issues.

The last time I saw him, about two months after he broke up with me, he still didn’t get that him not communicating with me for a whole year is not a problem that can be demonstrated a few fucking sentences, because if I could we wouldn’t have a communication problem in the first effing place!

*takes a breath*

I also tried to patiently explain to him that we had to agree certain “rules” about what behaviors we as a couple would consider acceptable. The idea that this could or should be done was alien to him. Or so it seemed.

He tried to rephrase this as me judging him for what he feels. And when I answered that I wasn’t referring to his feelings but his behaviors, because unlike our feelings we decide our behavior, he said I only care about *my* feelings. He was a gaslighting bastard.

I left at that exact moment, because I couldn’t have that conversation yet again. I had decided beforehand, and let him know, that it would be our last encounter and I would remove him from my life. He appeared confident that he would gaslight me into “being friends” whatever that meant for him.

I felt frustrated I couldn’t have a friendly closure, but I felt in peace for leaving the right moment he began displaying the problematic behaviors that were draining me of energy.

But after the hours passed I started feeling terrible and as torn apart as the day he left me. It was like starting to process the breakup all over again.

He also had a “list of guilt”, which wasn’t made of things he resigned but of all the work he did (full time helpdesk job + political activism + degree in political studies) and I hope I’m not overstepping here, but the way you enumerated evoked in me the way he would bring it up as a shield. I ended up repeating it by heart as well. He did that a lot, with many different topics, reasserting his key phrases again, and again. I only was able to see the pattern after months of being away from him.

Which reminds me: The series Jessica Jones treats abusive relationships in a very interesting and honest life. I know it’s been discussed here before, and that encouraged me to watch it so I pass it on.

I could go on but it’s 1:20 am and I was camping in a different province this morning.

I have more thoughts on this, hopefully I can be back and share.

Teal deer: Happy Valentines

I am by the cellphone and it’s difficult to copy paste all of your names, but my dears, I read every single one of them and I am so so thankful for you to take the time to talk to me.
Brogressive. This is such a perfect word. Fits him so well. I have one of my own called broslamofeminist. It’s when a western man is pro feminism, but only if it’s practiced in middle east or gives him excuse to be islamophobic. This describes him and Dawkins (hell, he is pretty much Dawkins with a wig.)

I have good news, I listened to you and for the first time I gave him an ultimatum. I explained the problem with the word civilized, I explained I am a person and not his walking talking latina fetish, that if he wants children with me he will have to educate himself or admit his absolute ignorance, and love me for who I am and treat me with respect and if otherwise, as much as it hurts, it’s over. And I will shut up never, because if there’s one thing I learned is the only thing women like me have is a loud voice and we go down, but not without making a lot of noise.
He has 24 hours to decide.

And honestly? If he wants to leave as well as everyone else and every other person is either undesirable or don’t want me, dogs are better than people and donated sperm is a thing, anyway. So who cares, amirite. I think I am gonna buy rum and coke and have some kick ass Cuba libres in honor to the superiority of dogs and cats and cockatoos in relation to most men (no offense, boys, you know it’s true), to the loneliness of the activists and of the big mouthed women, to the existence of pecan nuts, and the excellence of the Mammotheers. Cheers.

Hey, do you think I can legally marry my cat? He is a nice boy, even though he bites. I can’t have sex with him, but I can’t have sex with a guy who lives in Europe either, so…

As a young MGTOW, it does sadden me to see rage take over as it’s really not healthy. Then again, I really haven’t been wronged in any way relationship-wise so it’s difficult for me to empathize with them as much as I take a more objective look at why I wouldn’t marry. All we can do is hope that they can confront and come to terms with their feelings. The good news is that for everyone else commenting who will indubitably be in disagreement with me, this shows that men can express emotions instead of bottling it all up.

@chiomara; good for you. it’s a shame he put you in such a difficult position, you deserve better.

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