a voice for men antifeminism attention seeking crackpottery Dean Esmay doubling down douchebaggery drama kings empathy deficit entitled babies imaginary russian friends mantrum men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA not-quite-explicit threats not-quite-plausible deniability straw feminists the c-word whaaaaa?

MRA Dean Esmay stunned that hurling obscenities at feminists does not cause them to take him seriously

Dean Esmay: One fingered typist?
Dean Esmay: One fingered typist?

It’s a day ending in “y” and “Men’s Human Rights Activist” Dean Esmay is spamming another hashtag on Twitter with belligerent and nonsensical Tweets directed at some imaginary feminist living in his head.

Wait, these were Tweeted yesterday, not today. Let me check something.

Yes, Thursday is also a day ending in “y,” so let’s continue. 

It seems Mr Esmay is angry that his propensity for calling women “cunts” and other gendered slurs sometimes causes people to take his alleged ideas less seriously. (Click on screenshots to see archived versions of each Tweet.)



Er, laterally? 

of or relating to the side; situated at, proceeding from, or directed to a side: a lateral view. 2. pertaining to or entailing a position, office, etc., that is different but equivalent or roughly equivalent in status, as distinguished from a promotion or demotion: a lateral move. Laterally | Define Laterally at

Oh, wait, I think he meant “literally.” Which leads me to my next question:

Er, literally?

Men are literally being set on fire for saying the word “cunt?” Where exactly?

Esmay, naturally, provides no citation for this claim.

Then, literally two minutes later, he literally followed up these two “cunt” tweets with this:


Philogyny, by the way, is not some term you’ve forgotten from biology class; it means love or admiration of women, the opposite of misogyny.

It’s sort of a weird thing to bring up immediately after defiantly asserting your right to call women, or feminist women (or whoever Esmay is talking about) “cunts.”

It’s even weirder when you consider that Esmay’s very next tweet is this “warning”/veiled threat to feminists/women/whoever that men even worse than Esmay are waiting in the wings, eager to attack feminists/women/whoever even more viciously.


“Penetrate” is an interesting choice of words in this context, no?

Also, I regret to have to inform Mr. Esmay that the “way more extreme” men aren’t actually “way more extreme” than he is. Nor are they waiting for Esmay to fail, or indeed waiting for anything; they are already attacking women energetically, sometimes rhetorically, sometimes physically.

After a couple more Tweets along similar lines to those previously quoted, Esmay channeled his inner angry teenager and declared


I can’t help but finish Tweets like this in my mind with “… MOM!” and the sound of a bedroom door slamming.

Several minutes and several angry Tweets later, Esmay posted … this:


I’ll just end this post here, because WAT.

I bring you these Tweets not because they are the worst things that Esmay — or any other MRA — has said. I bring them to you because they are in fact rather typical for Esmay, who Tweets dozens and perhaps even hundreds of Tweets much like this every day.

Esmay — the “Chief Operating Officer” of A Voice for Men — is one of the highest profile Men’s Rights Activists online. (Oh, sorry, Men’s Human Rights Activists”) online. This is what he does all day, every day, attacking imaginary feminists for the benefit of his mostly imaginary followers.

54 replies on “MRA Dean Esmay stunned that hurling obscenities at feminists does not cause them to take him seriously”

– Claims that men love women, and don’t hate them.

– Calls women narcissistic cunts

– Claims that women are being irrational about being called cunts by rando dudes on the internet

– Vague tweets

– Wonders why women don’t listen to him

– ???

– Beg for donations!

Alice, Well, there’s that one lady, that one time, who said she has learned to hate all men. so really, it’s so obvious that non-ladies (cause we don’t call c-worders, ladies) who just hate men are everywhere. Cause reasons. And “so there!”

I think that in that last tweet Esmay is referring to The Fall in the apocalyptic sense, not the season.

Whenever a misogynist claims to love women and be misunderstood and harassed by them, I am always reminded of the following speech.

Ladies and gentlemen, I accept the flowers as a memento of reconciliation between the white and colored races of the southern states. I accept it more particularly as it comes from a colored lady, for if there is any one on God’s earth who loves the ladies I believe it is myself.


This day is a day that is proud to me, having occupied the position that I did for the past twelve years, and been misunderstood by your race. This is the first opportunity I have had during that time to say that I am your friend. I am here a representative of the southern people, one more slandered and maligned than any man in the nation.

– Nathan Bedford Forrest, 6 July 1875.

Well he got one thing right, “what I say doesn’t matter,” he should have stopped right there.
Does anybody take a Twitter meltdown seriously?

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)says:

I think he needs to take a little break from the interent. And by “little” I mean “permanently” and by “interent”, I mean “internet” because I’m a bad speller.

Thank you spellcheck! You are an unsung hero. <3

I thought that Esmay’s reference to a ‘failure to penetrate’ was a subconscious desire to tell all about his erectile dysfunction, or lack of luck with the ladeez. But yes, the growing packs of men waiting for Esmays failure are horribly rapey sounding. Sounds like an extreme cuckolding video, at best.

Gangs of killer men?

If you’re making badly veiled rape and death threats, hurling slurs and hoping for the downfall of civilization you might just be the baddie.

Speaking of the “Fall”, how does the fall of civilization help men and boys? Won’t they be dying of illness, starvation, murder and unsafe roads and vocations along with the ebil wimmenz? Does he think roving bands of post apocalyptic rapists and murderers are really good for men and boys? For that matter, how does raping and murdering women help men and boys get a better social safety net? What exactly protects men and boys from the gangs of angry men? Their brotherly love?

No feminist anywhere is setting men on fire, through AVFM has encouraged them emulate a man who set himself on fire. WTF?

Just… huh? Is this an extended Twitter meltdown, or is he desperately trying to get a hashtag, any hashtag, to trend?

@Lea He had the self-awareness which Dean apparently doesn’t. Here’s hoping Jordan Owen tracks that character arc, except for the suicide of course.

Really though, who the hell is Dean talking to?

Nux deserves better than to be compared to Dean Esmay. But yes, the irrational, violent, toxic masculinity and wilful blindness of the war boys does remind me of the MRAs.

David, did you run the image at the top through Deep Dream or something?

If we need to do an intervention, I can bring the hamster ball.

“Speaking of the “Fall”, how does the fall of civilization help men and boys? Won’t they be dying of illness, starvation, murder and unsafe roads and vocations along with the ebil wimmenz?”

It’s the Atlas Shrugged effect. The idea is that we need them more than they need us. Should they get pissed at even the slightest offense, imagined or real, then they will drop out of society and let it fall, and swoop in to reclaim it once they think their enemies no longer pose a threat. Of course, this shows that they don’t really give a shit about the problems men face, once again, imagined or real.

It’s funny, because in my experience, it’s the other way around. Women do all right on their own when their husbands die, while widowed men fall apart on their own or remarry right away. I saw it all the time when I worked with veterans. When my parents divorced, it was my dad who has been constantly in relationships. My mom has been single with no desire to remarry or cohabitate.

I think that’s the real problem with trying to pull a John Galt. There’s always the possibility that the people (or “moochers”, as Ayn Rand put it) would become just as self-sufficient as the people who dropped out of society and no longer need their help of others – or in some cases, managed to do fine without help in the first place. In fact, I think Rand had Galt and his gang deliberately sabotage and destroy society in Atlas.

“In fact, I think [that’s why] Rand had Galt and his gang deliberately sabotage and destroy society in Atlas.”

Crap, I messed up that part. Sorry.

He looks forward to the fall of civilization because he measures men doing well entirely by the metric of doing better than women, so if he assumes men will survive the apocalypse better than women, then from his perspective it’s a net positive.

It’s like conservatives who are willing to cut social programs that benefit them because they also benefit black people or poor people or immigrants. The important thing isn’t that your quality of life is good, it’s that someone else’s quality of life is worse.

I feel inadequate as a feminist because not only have I never laterally burned a man, I don’t even know how to laterally burn a person.

@katz: There’s also the spite. The red-pillers are so concerned about getting revenge against the feminists that the very concerns they’re voicing – censorship, false rape accusations, divorce outcomes, increased suicide rates of men, male victims of domestic abuse, etc. – can just be thrown under the bus, as far as they’re concerned, so long as the feminazis are on their knees, begging for forgiveness.

“Growing packs of men sick of your narcissistic shit way more extreme then me…” Two words, Dean: misplaced modifier.

It sounds as if you’re saying that “way more extreme than you” applies to “narcissistic shit,” not the packs of men. Granted, it doesn’t make your message any less coherent, but misplaced modifiers are dangerous things:

Yeah I bet failing to penetrate is a regular feature of his life. Poor guy. He doesn’t even know he’s pathetic. The MRM convinced him that being a middle-aged failure is the epitome of success. He really stuck it to those feminist by not playing their “do something with your life besides being an unwashed, jowley asshole” game!

Head injury? Tumor pressing on the amygdala?

Nah. Head up rectum. Cranium pressing on the prostate.

“Dozens, perhaps even hundreds of tweets per day” kind of says it all about Dean Esmay. Yup, I’m REAL envious of his rich and meaningful life.

And watch, Dean Esmay will claim David “misrepresented and lied” about him with the “failed to penetrate” line.

Isn’t that the line they use with David? He’s a liar and he takes things out of context? Feminists are all man-haters who think all men are rapists? But when Boss MRA makes a lame attempt at stirring up controversy, it’s feminists who are hysterical instigators.

“Failed to penetrate” is clearly meant to imply, and we are obviously supposed to infer. But no, Dean, no one is going to misquote you with “I will rape feminists.” We know you’re just stirring the shit-pot. It’s still a nasty thing to say.

And no, feminists do not encourage censorship and suppression of 1st Amendment rights. However, just because you have freedom of speech, responsible/reasonable people understand that sometimes it pays to censor yourself out of a sense of common human decency. You CAN say “Women are w****s/blacks are n*****s/gay people are f*****s, but with great power comes great responsibility.

In other words. shut the hell up. You’re making us men look like jack****s” and giving us a bad name: “Dean Esmay.”

Josh Miller | July 18, 2015 at 2:22 pm
And watch, Dean Esmay will claim David “misrepresented and lied” about him with the “failed to penetrate” line.

Isn’t that the line they use with David? He’s a liar and he takes things out of context?

Yup. David includes links to their site, and quotes MASSIVE paragraphs of what they say, and yet the MRAs shriek “CONTEXT!” forevermore.

But the MRA, sitting lonely on the computer chair, typed only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered- not a jimmy then he rustled-
Till I scarcely more than muttered, “Other trolls have flown before-
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.”
Then the MRA said, “CONTEXT.”

Ah, the fallacious fallacy fallacy. As long as I claim you’ve used a logical fallacy, I don’t have to pay attention to your argument. Favorite fallacies to claim include “Strawman” (You didn’t use the exact words I said), “Ad hom” (You said a rude word somewhere), and “context” (I said other things than just the terrible one).

@Paradoxical Intention –

I’m just a lurker here, and a newish one at that, but on the strength of that comment alone, you’ve captured my heart.

(And buried it under the floorboards, obviously.)

Why don’t the MRA men hook up with the MRA women and go live happily ever after? Seriously, no fear of false rape accusations, no SJWisms, no fear of the woman running of with the kids/money, no fear of their sons being circumcised by feminists, . OMFG, I think I solved most of their problems.

Eryn E – nice idea, but the problem that these guys have (amongst many) is not feminist as such. They just really hate women. They do project a fantasy of ‘traditional’ women, but even amongst anti feminist women it is presumably pretty difficult to find a woman happy to subjugate herself to the will and whims of a man who is prepared to give so little.

Plus, not all trad women are 8+HBs, completely financially independent and yet not in any way taking anything from men due to their position in the workplace, not vain AT ALL, but still always looking absolutely perfectly groomed for ‘her man’, etc etc ad nauseam….

entendante | July 18, 2015 at 9:08 pm
@Paradoxical Intention –

I’m just a lurker here, and a newish one at that, but on the strength of that comment alone, you’ve captured my heart.

(And buried it under the floorboards, obviously.)

I did no such thing and you can’t prove that I did how very dare you we all know you went on holiday to France indefinitely and no I don’t know when they’ll be back officer. [shifty eyes]

But seriously, thank you, that comment made my day. Bless your face.

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