Categories
a voice for men a woman is always to blame antifeminism dude you've got no fucking idea what you're talking about empathy deficit entitled babies evil moms it's science! mansplaining matriarchy men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA none dare call it conspiracy oppressed men patriarchy

We live in a matriarchy because YOUR MOM, that’s why, MRA explains

Science has proven many things about your mom
Science has proven many things about your mom

Today’s lesson in Men’s Rights pseudoscience comes from a regular contributor to A Voice for Men named Stephen Jarosek, who also goes by the name “Codebuster.” The “code” he has “busted” this time? The code of the Seekret Matriarchy That Runs the World. And he’s busted it with … SCIENCE! (Or at least a very, very rough approximation of it.)

Put on your wrong-thinking caps, because Codebuster is going to get all technical here! He starts off his essay with a lengthy discussion of sciencey stuff that includes sentences like these:

Nonlocality is crucial to explaining the binding problem. It explains how neurons (and other body cells) are entangled into a unity in a manner that is analogous to how people within a city are “entangled” through telecommunications and media. …

Once we accept nonlocality as the all-pervasive given, the basic processes, based in semiotic theory, make perfect, easy sense (just briefly, semiotic theory relates to the fundamental properties of thought processes for all living entities – motivation, association and habituation).

Honestly, I only lightly skimmed this portion of his post, because it’s only relevant as a sort of throat-clearing preface to the SMOKING GUN OF MATRIARCHAL OPPRESSION that Codebuster drops about half-way through:

It is now well established that, by far, most of a human brain’s wiring (its functional specializations) is accomplished within only the first few years of life. These are the years spent under the care of the primary nurturer. 

And in most cases this “primary nurturer” is — wait for it — YOUR MOM! 

Or, to be more technical, “Your Momma.”

Jarosek doesn’t mention this, but SCIENCE has already proven many things about your momma. To wit, she is:

  • so nasty that she brings crabs to the beach
  • so dirty that she makes Right Guard turn left
  • so poor she went to McDonald’s and put a milkshake on layaway
  • so lazy that she stuck her nose out the window to let the wind blow it

Science has also proven that when she sits around the house, she really is more likely, statistically speaking, to be the primary carer for small children. As Codebuster explains,

It is the primary nurturer, usually the mother, who first defines the things that matter… the things that first wire brains, to set the foundations for all that comes later. Momma knows what she wants her little man to be, and she knows what entitlements her little girl deserves.

And that’s how the matriarchy gets you!

Children first learn how to be from their primary nurturer. It’s not rocket science to realize that The Matriarchy establishes the foundations in young minds upon which “The Patriarchy” (whatever feminists imagine that to be) is built.

That’s right: the MATRIARCHY creates “The Patriarchy” and is secretly running it the whole time! Or something.

Taken individually, The Matriarchy wields far greater power than The Patriarchy ever could. There is no such thing as a patriarchy that magically materializes on its own, from a vacuum, independently of The Matriarchy that nurtures and raises it, to then go on to oppress womankind.

Your momma is devious! So devious that I have no fucking clue exactly what sinister conspiracy Codebuster is talking about here.

Anyhoo,

Based on the training and rewards that most children receive first from their mothers, boys become men who do women’s bidding, while girls become women who, feminist indoctrination notwithstanding, prioritize the raising of children …

Boys become men who provide, and girls become women who are provided for (or, in the current affirmative-action zeitgeist, they might work so long as it does not impact too adversely on quality of life).

Huh. Most of the women I know “choose” to work in order to, you know, pay the rent and buy food and, when they have kids, pay for those kids’ expenses. I had no idea that it was optional, and that women are actually paid more not to work?

I guess it’s like when the government pays farmers not to grow crops.

Codebuster also explains that “feminism’s attack dogs” are the way they are because of poop.

They can be counted on to respond on cue with the matriarchal indoctrination that they had inculcated into them from their infancy. They know their correct place as white knights saving damsels in distress. Without question, they lay their coats over puddles so that the li’l ladies won’t get their dainty feet wet. They have no idea of the matriarchal source that governs their blind obedience to their mistress. They don’t remember back when they used to have their cute little noses rubbed into their poo on the carpet, and spanked so that they never do it again.

Now, on the surface, this theory might seem a bit like utter bullshit made up by someone looking for an excuse to blame women for everything. But Codebuster reminds us again that it is all backed by SCIENCE, or at least a very very rough approximation of it.

Neural plasticity in conjunction with lived experiences, not “genetic programming,” is the key to understanding that what works in training dumb animals for circus acts also works in training dumb males as obedient lap-dogs for The Feminist Matriarchy, or as dumb providers who don’t question the provided-fors that spend their money. …

Before anyone can hope to transcend anything, they need to first transcend The Matriarchy.

Huh. So, if the early childhood years are key to everything, it would seem — to me at least — that the current generation of Men’s Rights activists are doing a very poor job of it.

Instead of campaigning for “financial abortions” and abandoning their own children to the matriarchal overmommas, they should instead be demanding that they be the primary caregivers to the world’s babies and toddlers, poopy diapers and all. Regardless of whether the poopy diapers belong to the babies, or to them.

Hmm. Paul Elam, the head deadbeat dad of the Men’s Rights movement, seems to be casting about for a new moneymaking scheme now that donations to his pocket A Voice for Men seem to be drying up.

Might I suggest he try babysitting?

NOTE TO PARENTS: Do not ever, under any circumstances, hire Paul Elam as a babysitter.

222 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
A.A. Wils
6 years ago

@sunnysombrera: That’s awesome! It’s been awhile since I’ve slogged through physics formulas, so I don’t think I could solve it. However, I’m sorely tempted to take this problem to my physics professor from 2 years ago, who I’m absolutely certain would be able to solve it.

One thing I know, is that the units that yo mamma’s mass would be measured in are Newtons.

wminsing
wminsing
6 years ago

Snowberry,

Yea, that DOES make a lot of sense, interesting point. Your point about slavery in the US South actually hits on *exactly* the same points that proponents of slavery used to justify it in the antebellum period (and even today); that things weren’t so bad if you were a slave, hey they were better off than free factory workers, etc, etc. Same sort of thinking rooted in willful ignorance,

opium4themasses
6 years ago

Actually…. Newtons are a unit of force. You want grams or slugs.

A.A. Wils
6 years ago

@opium: You’re right. I have one glass of wine and my mind works backwards from what it should be. Going to bed now…

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

RoscoeTCat,
Even more disturbing is that Paul drew from that experience that his mother made his father abuse him.

Related to childhood development,
My youngest kids were neglected by their birth parents and the effects were serious. I won’t go into details, but they were and are years younger than other kids their age. Communication is still something we work on daily. They’re skills are expanding. They’re thriving.The system got to them in time. Kids are resilient. They bounce back. My husband and I didn’t have them from birth but they’re so like us. If we have had this much influence on our kids beginning 2 to 6 years into their lives, how is it a birth father cannot influence his children when he’s been there from day 1?

spacelawn
6 years ago

“Nonlocality is crucial to explaining the binding problem. It explains how neurons (and other body cells) are entangled into a unity in a manner that is analogous to how people within a city are “entangled” through telecommunications and media. …

Once we accept nonlocality as the all-pervasive given, the basic processes, based in semiotic theory, make perfect, easy sense (just briefly, semiotic theory relates to the fundamental properties of thought processes for all living entities – motivation, association and habituation)”

Now that was a hole lot of bullshit that doesn’t mean anything. Pretty funny actually. I wonder how long it took him to google those words.

BigKitty
BigKitty
6 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger and other spider-posters: Spiders are lovely animals who make the world a better place. I love them all, not just the fuzzy tarantulas, but even the creepy little poisonous ones. Never, ever, ever squish a spider, always let them out the window!

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I kind of like spiders too. Let them kill the other bugs as far as I’m concerned. There’s not much in the way of venomous spiders where I live so there’s nothing to fear.

BigKitty
BigKitty
6 years ago

OMG, yes I LOVE cicadas! They sing, they live for love alone, and they give the summer its beautiful soundtrack. Thanks for posting the beautiful photo.

Morrizaurus
Morrizaurus
6 years ago

Anyone else feels like he takes a Nietzsche-wanna-be vibe at the end?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

I like spiders too. The only time they freak me out slightly is when their legs are thick and muscular instead of skinny and delicate. Spiders should not have meaty quadriceps and calf definition.

looks like most people, though, are wizening to the reality

Dunning, meet Kreuger.

If even people who watch science on TV and read about it in the Sunday paper can spot the bullshit in your arguments, then that’s probably because your arguments don’t even rise to the level of responsible, well-researched lay journalism.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

OMG, yes I LOVE cicadas! They sing, they live for love alone, and they give the summer its beautiful soundtrack. Thanks for posting the beautiful photo.

The source for that photo is a site called cicadamaniamania.com. I might have to check it out later. They come in so many different colors and I think their lacy wings are really gorgeous.

Bina
6 years ago

They come in so many different colors and I think their lacy wings are really gorgeous.

And they can play the accordion with their bellies, too! I’ve actually watched them do it. It’s weirdly fascinating.

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

Spiders…they’re fine, brilliant even.

But large Wolf Spiders and Fisher Spiders will jump and attack if you approach and they have no escape, so there’s no way in the 7 hells I’m going to catch and release them.

And I kill any black widows that I find around residential areas. I’ve been bitten by one and it made my life suck for a day…and one would be considerably worse for one of my small children.

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

re: Cicadas: Somewhere I have audio of when the 17-year cohort emerged in my area a few years ago. I’ll see if I can dig it up.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
6 years ago

I bet cicadas are delicious.

funkykingston
funkykingston
6 years ago

@sunnysombrera

The equation for universal gravitation is F= Gm1m2/r^2 and combining that with Newton’s second law F=ma we essentially get a = Gm1/r2

Therefore Yo Momma has a mass of 1.6675 x 10^13 kg or since the radius and acceleration are only given with one sig fig it’d be 2.0 x 10^13 kg. 44 trillion pounds or so. That’s significantly off the BMI charts.

Physics always makes sense to me. MRA crap pretty much never makes sense to me.

Miss Andry
6 years ago

Hmm, what smells like pseudoscience and warmed-over bullsh…oh, A Voice for Men.

takshak
takshak
6 years ago

” semiotic theory relates to the fundamental properties of thought processes for all living entities – motivation, association and habituation”

http://vnfa8y5n3zndutm1.zippykid.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Lion-Doing-Facepalm-290×160.jpg

scalyllama
6 years ago

Gee, that Milo guy sure isn’t up to date on the latest research for a science lover!

From his Breitbart article (it’s a donotlink) Here’s Why There Ought to Be a Cap on Women Studying Science and Maths – Breitbart

“That idyll of matriarchal supportiveness, friendly sharing and leaderboard-free love doesn’t, incidentally, concord with my experience of what women are like when they work together. There’s more back-stabbing than basket-weaving, as any bloke who has been caught in the crossfire can tell you. But I digress.”

Yet only recently, the Queen Bee myth has been roundly debunked – and this gels more with my own experiences of supportive female bosses:

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/07/queen-bee-syndrome-women-work-myth-research-columbia-business-school

scalyllama
6 years ago

So this word soup –

Once we accept nonlocality as the all-pervasive given, the basic processes, based in semiotic theory, make perfect, easy sense (just briefly, semiotic theory relates to the fundamental properties of thought processes for all living entities – motivation, association and habituation)

– sounds exactly like the pseudo-intellectual crap I used to try to bullshit my way through a first year Culture & Media class with. My tutor was never kind about those draughts. I did eventually pass quite well, but I had to learn what ‘semiotics’ actually means first. (Hint: it isn’t what this brainiac says)

ginnyn56
ginnyn56
6 years ago

@opium4themasses The point is “yo’momma” is so fat she can produce her own gravity to get objects near to her. All objects with mass DO produce gravity, even you and me, but it’s not powerful enough. I could make up something for an Internet Cookie, but is kind of late here and E3! With Nintendo Execs Puppets by the Jim Henson Company!

PS: I quite frankly I’m here to read David comments on what he found and everybody else’s comments. I have no mental power to understand the shittyness commented about. Seriously.

scalyllama
6 years ago

proxieme on June 16, 2015 at 2:07 pm
This spider that greeted me in our basement…

The nail, a two-incher, was included in the shot for scale.

Kudos for taking the time to hammer that nail in before taking the pic! 😉

Catalpa
Catalpa
6 years ago

Spiders, I love spiders! They’re like quiet, tiny guard dogs, helping to keep me safe from other bugs that try to get into my food.

I love jumping spiders especially.They’re so damn cute. And sometimes they wear dewdrops as hats.
comment image

I find that a lot of people are only willing to see the benefits/good side effects of a bad situation. Like the people who shriek about poor people getting welfare or government housing. “I DON’T GET FREE MONEY/HOUSING/FOOD, WHY SHOULD THEY?!?!?11?!”

But what they envision is getting their nice house paid for, or having all the benefits of a paying job, AND getting the welfare money. If you gave these whiners a chance to swap their nice apartment for a government-paid trailer or something, they’d never take the exchange.

1 3 4 5 6 7 9
%d bloggers like this: