antifeminism are these guys 12 years old? boner rage creepy entitled babies evil messy ladies evil sexy ladies female beep boop gamebros homophobia imaginary oppression incoherent rage men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA no games for girls no girls allowed oppressed men penises playing the victim post contains jokes reddit SJWs

Gamebro Redditor laments: "I'm not going to get the job … Cause I'm a penis, and that's all I am."

How women get ahead in the workplace, according to men who hate women
How women get ahead in the workplace, according to men who hate women and don’t know shit about anything

A bitter gamebro wandered into the Men’s Rights subreddit last night to deposit an angry little manifesto on the evils of women and Social Justice Warriors. He didn’t get a terribly friendly reception from the regulars — last I checked he’d been voted down to zero — but his manifesto is such a classic example of self-pitying gamebro misogyny that I sort of felt obliged to bring it to you all here.

Are you sitting comfortably? Good. Then let’s begin.

Tired of SJW's (self.MensRights)  submitted 2 hours ago by SortaSemipr0  Tired of you fuckers. Seriously.  Simple facts are we're living in a world where male sexuality is being assaulted and displayed as not only wrong, but completely aberrant and not acceptable in modern society.  Don't get me wrong, I completely respect the right of women and men to be equal in the workplace but lets be fair, if a girl with the right looks and the right qualifications and a single button unbuttoned on her shirt is going for the same promotion as me and my boss is male..or even female in today's day and age....I am not going to get the job..simple as that, why? Cause I'm a penis, and that's all I am.  I'm tired of this SJW bullshit pushing a massive awareness of the "harassment" of females in the gaming and technical industries while it just creatively ignores all the women that are making twenty times more than a man will ever make off the same industries.  If you want to be treated as an equal, ease up on the eyeliner and stop blowing every dude you meet that you think might increase your personal financial stock in some way.  I'm ex-military, I can't tell you how many guys I saw have women just crawl right up their backs to a guaranteed 50% of their total salaries FOR LIFE. And thats just mil side, civilian side is just as bad.  Simple facts are is women are liars. Their entire lives are built on lies, they're not that pretty without make up, they're not that thin without creative camera angles and the right lighting and they're damn sure as not as well put together if you haven't been to their houses and seen the piles of laundry and dirty dishes sitting around their houses.  The entire argument of SJW's in regards to feminism and womens rights is the biggest lie built on lies I've ever seen, and the media is just legitimizing it.  The entire scenario is disgusting and I'm tired of it. Women are more than welcome to stop being treated as sex objects as soon as they stop treating themselves like sex objects. I think thats a more than fair offer.

I am shocked — shocked! — to hear this about the laundry, as the females I live with are quite fastidious about their personal cleanliness, spending a good portion of their waking moments licking their fur coats clean. But they are cats, after all.

The human females I know are mostly slobs, actually, though I can’t claim to be any better myself.

How exactly did the state of one’s laundry come to be a factor in deciding a human being’s worth, anyway?

Also, I’m thinking that “cause I’m a penis, and that’s all I am” would look really good on a t-shirt. Anyone else agree?

231 replies on “Gamebro Redditor laments: "I'm not going to get the job … Cause I'm a penis, and that's all I am."”

“sitting DIRECTLY on the couch”. (The more forcefully you repeat it, the louder it’s true.)

I wonder if that couch is anywhere near THE BEACH?

@It’saFerret –

The same guy who also says you don’t get to criticize OP for relating their own experiences,

My own experiences show me that I was really naive and uneducated, back in the day. So, my experiences, while real, do not necessarily make me right.

It is important to acknowledge people’s experiences, and to believe their experiences are what they say they are. However, the OP did more than relate an experience. He extrapolated a conspiracy based on “my experience of not getting the job.”

This is bad logic, based on insufficient evidence. And yeah, we can poke at that as much as we want, thankyouverymuch.

If that OP had simply been relating his experience, it would have gone something like this: “I was trying for a promotion. The only competition for the post was a woman, who is conventionally attractive. Also, I know that she had the qualifications for the job. That day, I saw her wearing her shirt with one of the buttons undone. She got the job, and I did not.”

Oh, sure, that can be interpreted as maybe the boss gave her the job because he found her attractive. But it can also be interpreted as maybe the boss knew her personality would be a better fit for the job than the OP’s personality (this interpretation can easily be backed up by the evidence of OP’s personality in that he jumped to the worst conclusion ever, without any real evidence).

Or maybe, in that particular instance, she actually did do something unethical, and the boss did something unethical, and actual human beings, with flaws, were involved.

The thing is, from OP’s limited perspective, we cannot know for sure, anyway.

I absolutely love the songs and Sad Penis. And I really hate the “makeup is a LIE” brigade. Seriously? Makeup is about as deceptive as wearing clothing. In fact, clothing can be way more deceptive than makeup. And Kootiepatra, that would be a really funny website…I feel the same way, like someone needs to print them a card or something so that they can spot makeup, since they seem to not notice that your standard human doesn’t come with eyeshadow.

Loving these cartoons and songs!

@hellkell – when I lived in an apartment, and doing laundry in the laundry room was a real pain, not to mention prohibitively expensive, I invested about $30 on a “Wonder Washer,” which is a cranked washer. It does small loads, but it gets them clean really fast!

Basically, it’s a tumbler, with a crank, and a drain at the bottom. You put the clothes, soap and water in the top, crank it for a minute or two, depending on how dirty the clothes are, then take out the cork and let it drain.

Not having the upper body strength to effectively wring out the clothes, I also invested about $30 in a “salad spinner” for my clothes. It was electric, and bigger than an actual salad spinner, but the concept is the same. It spun the clothes mostly dry. Then I hung them up on a drying rack.

It took about 5 minutes to do a small load of clothes, so doing one load per day (just enough to fill the drying rack) was not a burden. Over the course of the next two years, I have no idea how much time and money I saved!

Now, I have a regular washer and dryer, and love it. But, if I ever go back to apartment living, I will definitely get the tumbler-crank-washer and the salad spinner again. They were fantastic!

Note – the “Wonder Washer” might not be the best brand. I forget. However, when the crank didn’t want to work, I just tumbled it by hand, grabbing the top of the barrel and pushing it down, and alternating hands, and found that it was actually more comfortable than using the crank. Also, the valve for the drain broke, but I just used a cork, and problem solved.

Also note – if you get the electric salad spinner for your clothes, get some sort of block to raise it up higher than your sink, or the thing won’t drain properly. Also, it tends to shake a lot, and move around, but wrapping your wooden block with duct tape will give it enough friction to keep it in place.

You can get a little thing to put on your faucet to quickly attach a hose, and then it comes off with ease, so for less than $100, you can have a complete set-up for laundry in an apartment that will last you for years. You do need some counter space while you’re doing the laundry, but you can certainly remove the machines to some other storage location, between loads, if counter-space is at a premium. Just make sure the storage area has plenty of air circulation, so they can dry properly.

For hand-washing, I highly recommend a blend of Borax, Washing soda (better than baking soda, although baking soda will do, if you can’t get washing soda) and finely grated Fels-Naptha laundry soap. It comes in bars. You’ll probably want to get a separate grater, so your food doesn’t wind up tasting like soap. But still, it’s inexpensive equipment. Mix 1 bar of soap with a cup of borax and a cup of soda, and blend the powders well. Keep them in an air-tight container, and apply 1 small scoop (basically about 2 Tbs.) to your load of laundry.

One of the best things about doing it this way, is that it really saves on the wear and tear of your clothes. No clothes-dryer lint (actually disintegrated clothes!). No dryers heat-sealing stains into your clothes. If you wash them, and then find that they are still stained, you can still salvage them, because the stains have not been heat-set in by the dryer! I managed to make my clothes last a whole lot longer, which was great!

I also find that squirting a bit of hydrogen peroxide directly on a stain really helps in the quick removal of said stain, particularly blood. In fact, one treated item can boost the cleaning power for the whole load, because hydrogen peroxide is a great laundry-booster.

@the kind people who discussed my comment, I didn’t realise I’d coined ‘pornosexuality’. I read your responses, which I do, and I did some research and find that I was thinking of the related concept of ‘pornotopia’, as referred to in Stephen Marcus’ book _The Other Victorians_,

Having said that I think ‘pornosexuality’ is a useful term to describe ‘sexual behaviour as perceived by people who think porn is real life’, and indeed I see that is what it was taken to mean by those responders who didn’t think I was a troll.


Nobody (not even women) naturally has red, black, purple, or shimmery lips. etc. etc.

Actually, my sister “Slappy” (she doesn’t let me use her name online) has naturally red lips. She’s been ill for quite some time, and gradually getting paler and paler, with anemia. When she went into the hospital and received 4 (FOUR!!!) units of blood (We had no idea she was that ill, and neither did she. She was in total denial), she looked so much better. It was amazing.

We went to see her in the hospital, and there she lay in the hospital bed, with tubes and stuff, and looking a mess, but my mother said, “Why are you wearing lipstick?” Slappy never wears make-up, and doesn’t even OWN lipstick, so if she were wearing lipstick, it could only mean that someone else put it on her.

Nope. She wasn’t wearing lipstick. Her lips were just back to the natural red color they used to be.

Now, black lips in nature? That is a reaaaallllyyyyy red flag! Possible zombie alert!

@Alex – I don’t shave, I don’t wear make-up, I don’t wear perfume, I don’t wear “shape wear” or dress to “hide my flaws.”

So, basically, I’m honest as the day is long (about my appearance), and if some dude told me I was a “6,” I’d think – YAY! I’m naturally above average! And that’s without even wearing make-up or doing any of that other “camouflage” stuff. I TOTALLY ROCK!

Actually, I haven’t had a number thrown at me in years. I have no idea what my rating would be, but I’m not fussed about it, because the type of people who give number ratings to other people turn me off.

Heh. I just noticed my pic. It’s several years old, from back when I still had long hair, and it was actually done as an “after” photo from a friend doing a practice Mary-Kay sales pitch. I bought some lip balm. I still have it. LOL. In fact, I still have a lipstick from nearly 20 years ago. I keep it for nostalgia, because I think it would be pretty gross to actually use it, now. Nice color, though.

So, I guess I’m a lying liar who lies, because I am using a non-recent photo of me with long hair and make-up. Well, what can I say? I’m a woman, so what else can you expect of me?

@Bina –

or to prove how much more “feminine” she is than the next woman over.)

Actually, I have encountered this. When I was at college – a church-run, conservative school where women were REALLY encouraged to marry as soon as possible – I saw it fairly frequently.

I always got a kick out of it, though. I’d see lovely hand-crafted items on display in my dormie’s rooms, but these girls didn’t know how to sew, knit, crochet, cross-stitch, embroider, spin or weave. Meanwhile, I spent a lot of time on a variety of handicrafts, and had absolutely nothing I had made on display in my room, because they were almost always gifts for someone else.

The only hand-crafted item people saw in my room were my quilt, and that was made by my grandmother. I did mend it, though.

Funnily, the guys who saw the crafted things thought that it made the young women “good wife material.” Meanwhile, I’d be sitting in the lobby, knitting, and one of these “good wife material,” “domestic,” “feminine” young women would ask me “What are you weaving?”

That one made me laugh out loud.

I have met a few people who enjoy cleaning. Interestingly, the number is fairly evenly split between men and women. It’s not “feminine.” It’s “neat.”

Thanks for coming back to explain, Georgina. I still don’t like the word pornosexuality, but I have no issues with your intent. Pornotopia, however, is an interesting word and concept. Thank you for sharing it.

@Georgina, thanks also for responding! I wouldn’t know if you’d coined the word or not – never saw it before – but it seems really apt to describe the sort of dudebros who do think porn = actual everyday sex, that women should look like porn actresses, and that it’s an insult to the masculinity if a woman doesn’t want all those things done to her. (Note “to” her; not “however many people having consensual fun together”.)


Oh, sorry: “sitting DIRECTLY on the couch”. (The more forcefully you repeat it, the louder it’s true.)


@Bina – slack housekeeper solidarity fistbumps! 😀

@ Georgina

I understood what you meant too (and agreed), I just didn’t feel like jumping into the conversation while knees seemed to be a-jerking.

(Bear with me, I was sleepy today and there’s only a little blood in the caffeine-stream)
Marinerachel said:

“I’m 26, live with housemates, study molecular bio and calc, 5’8″, overweight with large breasts, like cats, no kids, here’s my cooter, tell me what you think, thanks bye.”

Actually, with men, that would totally freaking work. Why do I say that?
I used to read gay male personals when such things were printed in free local little freebie bar papers, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth in the 90’s.
Yanno what? ALL the personal adds had cock size and whether or not the guy was circ’ed or not. ALL of them!
Men are socialized differently from women.
So I don’t know if it’s boundary pushing all the time, so much as failure to compute that women are socialized a little differently and usually think a little differently.
Obviously sometimes it IS boundary pushing…but… I think some of the guys project “guy mind” at women…and then wonder why it doesn’t work.

And one more thought…the douchebros don’t stop to think that by reinforcing misogyny and slut shaming, they are actually working to inhibit female sexuality.
They want lots of sex, but they want to control female sexuality too…and these two goals are kind of in conflict.
Ultimately they are collectively depriving themselves of sex they might have had.
(…fail to insert boner here…)

Just because men are OK with that kind of direct approach from other men doesn’t mean you can assume they’d be OK with it coming from women. They’re socialized in terms of what they expect and are willing to accept from us too.

They’re socialized in terms of what they expect and are willing to accept from us too.

True, and I totally run afoul of that since I’m a female bodied person who thinks, acts, and dresses in ways that are more typically seen in men.
This works fine with women, but rather awkwardly with hetero guys.

An old friend of mine (gay bloke) on straight men and how twitchy they get about unexpected behavior from…well, everyone basically.

“Damn, those guys are so sensitive.”

Funnily, the guys who saw the crafted things thought that it made the young women “good wife material.” Meanwhile, I’d be sitting in the lobby, knitting, and one of these “good wife material,” “domestic,” “feminine” young women would ask me “What are you weaving?”

That one made me laugh out loud.

Me too!

I do knit, crochet, sew, and I’ve even been known to spin and weave. And it almost kills me laughing to hear someone get any two of those mixed up.

Oh, sorry: “sitting DIRECTLY on the couch”. (The more forcefully you repeat it, the louder it’s true.)

OMG…is this trader-dude…MIKEY? But I thought he was a lawyer…

And holy shit, that octopus hand ornament is the pearl that clutches YOU!

Who was the guy complaining about the way the lady sat on the couch, like she just dropped onto it like a mighty walrus flomping on a rocky outcropping, and that it did horrible damage the the structural support of the couch? Who was that because I actually support them. I’d be pissed if someone disrespected my property like that too and they wouldn’t be welcome to sit on my furniture. I’d give them a cushion on the floor.

RE: blahlistic

Actually, I’m a guy, but I’d be EXTREMELY uncomfortable with that kind of approach. (Me and hubby used to riff on godawful m/m Craigslist ads for fun, which is how Dick the Mennonite got created.) Like, if I just wanted to fuck an anonymous penis, I’d just invest in a goddamn dildo. It wouldn’t rape me, wouldn’t come too fast, and there’d be absolutely no awkwardness!

(But mostly, it wouldn’t rape me. I rig a LOT of my life around avoiding rape or rape triggers.)

*sigh*. I’ve had my own troubles finding gainful employment myself, but I know for a fact that it sure as hell ISN’T because I’m a guy. And I sure as hell don’t blame women for my troubles. Or anyone else.

I’m not quite a total saint myself, but this fellow’s rant just *screams* “self-entitled misogynist asshole” thru and thru.

Like, if I just wanted to fuck an anonymous penis, I’d just invest in a goddamn dildo. It wouldn’t rape me, wouldn’t come too fast, and there’d be absolutely no awkwardness!

Vibrators are awesome…

…Prolly should have included the caveat that sending a coochie pic or a dick pic would not work for just any guy.
But photos of your junk would work with enough guys that it would be a viable way of getting casual hookups if that’s what you wanted.

Do note, when I make sweeping generalized statements?
I don’t mean the thing I’m talking about is really, really, always universal. People are weird, unique and complex.
I mean…some people are asexual, and there is NOTHING you could do to sexually entice them, you know?
So I do oversimplify when talking about bunches of people due to TL;DR and laziness.
But that’s a bit weaselly, isn’t it?
In the future I’ll try to add caveat words like “some,” “a portion of,” et cetera.

I rig a LOT of my life around avoiding rape or rape triggers.

🙁 …Nodding b/c I have some idea of what that’s like…Sort of.
I mainly trigger to the physical and verbal abuse.
Very little of the sexual stuff happened to *me.*
Other kids came out and took it, I was not there. I haven’t gotten to abreact through it yet.
Triggers are like having landmines in my head, sort of?
Don’t really know where they are until BOOM!
…But the mines keep getting moved!

Vibrators ARE awesome.

I’m in love with this frigging heat sensor vibrator. Basically, the more movement, the more heat produced, the more power the vibrator exerts. It automatically increases or decreases the power setting. Luff it. Aiko by Nobu. Whew.

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