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Attention Heartiste: Don Draper is not an actual person

The REAL thousand-cock stare
The REAL thousand-cock stare

One of the odder folk beliefs of the pickup artist subculture is that women become worn down and used up and even a bit addled if they have sex with too many men. Men, by contrast, are said to be able to handle an equal number of female lovers with grace and aplomb.

In a recent post, our old friend Heartiste offers what he sees as decisive photographic evidence illustrating the different effects of promiscuity on men and women. One bit of this evidence: a picture of a young woman used to advertise some sort of singles event. Reflections from the photographer’s lights obscure her pupils, an offputting effect that gives her a slightly deranged look.

thousand

Heartiste, apparently not curious enough to wonder why the woman seems to have no pupils, sees this as clear photographic evidence of the tell-tale “thousand cock stare” that he believes women develop after exposure to more than the lifetime recommended allotment of penises.

To underscore his claim that promiscuous men are “more emotionally stable and contented” than their female counterparts, Heartiste offers this photographic evidence:

DOn Draper, looking content

I think we can all see the problem here. Aside from the fact that a single photograph of someone smiling offers no real clue to that person’s relative stability or degree of happiness with their life – there are plenty of people who can put a good face on all sorts of troubles – this is not actually a picture of a promiscuous man.

It’s a picture of actor John Hamm playing the character of Don Draper, a promiscuous ad exec on Mad Men, in full costume and makeup and doing his best to act the part of a contented man.

As regular viewers of the show are well aware, Don Draper is not always so contented. Indeed, the character is a near-constant drinker with a troubled past who ruins two marriages through his compulsive womanizing.

Here are pictures of Don Draper in some less-happy moments.

draper-sadtumblr_m2ando8Ago1r2r481o1_1280tumblr_m2qgh3LbXB1r2r481o1_1280DonDraperBukes

Can we conclude therefore that excess promiscuity will turn smiling, confident men into puking emotional wrecks? Well, no, because, again, Draper is a CHARACTER, not a person. He’s NOT REAL.

But don’t try telling Heartiste that, because he seems to prefer to live in an imaginary world.

A man can sample the slits and furrows of outrageous fortune and survive the whirlwind of passion to mark a day in the future when he contentedly and without pathological second-guessing slips into a stabler, longer term commitment.

Women who have sampled a poo poo platter of penes accumulate emotional scars that never heal; promiscuous women have a mental storage closet filled with five minute montages of alpha male love, and these exciting, prurient memories rob the female id of something important. Call it purity or innocence or self-worth or ability to appreciate romantic idealism, the slut with ass chafing from riding the cock carousel is never the same as she was before she let herself get pummeled by dick.

Uh, just so you know, Heartiste, the Chinese menu item you evidently have in mind is actually called a Pu Pu Platter. A Poo Poo Platter is something, well, a bit different.

Then again, I suspect that most of those women who’ve “sampled” Heartiste’s alleged charms would have, in hindsight, rather spent the evening cleaning shit out of a toilet tank.

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weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Just catching up on this thread now.

LBT,

I’m glad you’re not gone for good and hope you are doing better soon.

While were at it, Walter White was not the hero of Breaking Bad, and the show was not about how a righteous alpha dude is held back those around him.

I really like the show but I have to say I hate probably 75% of it’s fans. So many of them seemed to have completely missed the point.

Does that, does that actually need to be said? Holy spirits I hope it doesn’t, Lolita is pretty clear in it’s themes. And condemnation of Humbert Humbert, Nabokov was many things as a writer, subtle and indirect however he was not.

I wish I was like you and didn’t know how many creepy assholes use that book to justify their desires to prey on young girls. I suspect most of them haven’t read the book or even seen one of the movie adaptations and only know it’s about an adult man and young girl.

Alais
7 years ago

Lol. Yeah, we’re all so bitter here, not feeling bad for men who treat everyone around them like shit. (I find it fascinatingly revealing that we’re not being asked to feel bad for women who do the same.)

redpoppy
redpoppy
7 years ago

WWTH- I would probably hate a good portion of the Breaking Bad fans as well. They not only miss the point as you said but really have it out for Skyler because……why? I think she reacted in a realistic, human way. I guess women aren’t allowed to do that. She is somehow an ungrateful bitch? Dude…..Walter is doing some heinous shit. I don’t blame her for not know what the fuck to do and for being appalled. Despite all that, I still enjoy Walter White as a character. I understand the point, but I still find him an intriguing character. That’s why I liked the show so much. The characters were compelling and complex.

serrana
7 years ago

LBT, take care!

redpoppy
redpoppy
7 years ago

*knowing

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

I’ve never understood that part of the argument. If lots of sex ruins your ladybits then why does it matter whether the sex is with one person or multiple people?

Maybe they think that the ghost of each cock still resides in our vaginas? Maybe he’s afraid that his penis will enveloped by many ghost cocks if he sex with a woman who’s been with multiple men.

Are you implying that the women who have sex with the Heartiste’s of the world are being used for anything else? PUA’s? Yeah, women are being treated like semen receptacles and deceiving themselves by calling it empowerment. Go read the rad/fems, they’re closer to the truth with their, all PIV is rape theories.

By the old gods and new is this one of the biggest dumbasses we’ve had around here. Just because Heartiste thinks of his sexual partners as nothing more than sperm receptacles doesn’t mean that’s what they are. If I fuck a man and decide that he must be elvish in human disguise does that mean he’s suddenly going to sprout pointy ears? If any man decides to view a woman as worthless the second he’s had sex with her, that’s his problem and his failing. Lots of men do not view their sex partners that way. Don’t make women responsible for tiptoeing around the misogyny of certain men.

Is there no misogynist that IB won’t defend and sympathize with? How about Charles Manson or Ted Bundy? Boko Haram members?

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Ghost cocks, that sounds like it could be one of those ghost hunter shows, but it would have to be on HBO or Cinemax.

Nequam
Nequam
7 years ago

I think, possibly, people think that vaginas are like cold storage in a sperm bank, and keeps all the semen ever released inside of it safe and someday will impregnate the woman to force some beta to raise alpha spawn.

Well, there’s one idiot out there who thinks birth control turns a woman’s uterine walls into a mass of embedded dead fetuses. No, really.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

I literally LOLed at this.

Generations Radio host Kevin Swanson, who last week delved memorably into feminist theory, tells us this week that “certain doctors and certain scientists” have researched the wombs of women on the pill and found “there are these little tiny fetuses, these little babies, that are embedded into the womb…Those wombs of women who have been on the birth control pill effectively have become graveyards for lots and lots of little babies.” – See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/swanson-wombs-women-birth-control-embedded-dead-babies#sthash.31gGWq9L.dpuf

What is the female reproductive system and how does it work? Find out on next week’s edition of Science for Delusional Misogynist Asshats.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

birth control turns a woman’s uterine walls into a mass of embedded dead fetuses.

Warped image trigger warning:
embedded dead fetuses

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

OH CRAP! I thought it was gonna just LINK!

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Eek! MOD CLEANUP, AISLE 3!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Like, do they think it eventually fills up? What happens then? Do the imaginary fetuses start leaking out or what?

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

That’s what periods are for, silly. It’s to let the dead babies out.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Do the imaginary fetuses start leaking out or what?

I am totally not going to link any more images based on this subject…

kittehserf
7 years ago

I was thinking more of the catacombs where one sees lots of mummified corpses …

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

So when I had my ablation last year…never mind. The people who believe that dead babies accumulate in a uterus when on BC are too ignorant for me to think about very long before I can feel my brain breaking.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Sorry to anyone with less of a tolerance for the macabre, by the way. I find this shit hilarious but I recognize that for other people it may be less so.

damselindetech
7 years ago

So… men are so disgusting and reprehensible that having sex with them will permanently damage women? Whoooooa. Easy on the misandry there, buddy.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

cassandra: I could totally keep going, but I don’t want to gross anyone else out.

Alais
7 years ago

So, I’ve been reading through a lot of InsanityBytes22’s stuff, and I’ve got myself a theory about her motives, assuming that she isn’t just trolling. As we’ve all noticed, she’s a pretty big gender traditionalist. Obviously, part of gender traditionalism is that men are supposed to protect women. Granted, this sometimes involves men “protecting” women against the women’s will and keeping women economically dependent on men, but let’s assume that it’s always benevolent, and it always helps women. Where’s that leave men, exactly?

Well, IB22 has a few articles on this. https://insanitybytes2.wordpress.com/2014/08/18/benevolent-sexism/
https://insanitybytes2.wordpress.com/2014/08/25/gender-roles-culture-and-protocol/

I should start by saying that in the first article she mischaracterizes arguments that women also worked in hard and dangerous jobs. She claims that feminists are blaming men for women’s working conditions. It’s as though she believes that women expect male protection and can’t recognize that feminists are, in addition to getting their independence, are also potentially relieving men of obligations that she says put their lives in danger.

“Where I live, men actually lay down their lives while engaged in “benevolent sexism.” Fishing and logging were two industries that took a whole lot of men away from us. Some were single,
but the vast majority were doing it to provide for wives and children. This is true of the
working class all over America. Jobs for men have traditionally always been risky business
whether they’re working in a coal mine, and oil field, or building a bridge. There are memorials
all across this country.

Than there are the men who have gone off to war for various reasons, but many committed to
protecting their country, defending freedom. Women now go into the military too, but even before that, we’ve always been close to combat, working as nurses, cooks, laundry women. Men and women have always existed in a kind of symbiosis, at least in the lower classes. Until quite recently,we’ve been inseparable because we’ve depended on each other, benevolently.”

So, men putting their lives in danger. Men literally losing their lives. Doesn’t that sound terrible? Doesn’t letting women share the burden sound fair and good for men? Doesn’t that sound like a good argument against benevolent sexism? One would certainly think so, but not our IB22!

“This [argument against benevolent sexism] actually breaks my heart, because it takes something really quite lovely and transforms it into something ugly. There is ample evidence that men are biologically motivated to look out for women. There have been plenty of evil men in the world, but the vast majority of them have been heavily invested in protecting wives, daughters, sisters, mothers, to the best of their ability.”

So, basically, dudes, IB22 is upholding your right to continue dying for women because she just respects your biological imperative to lay down your life for her. In return, she’ll defend you if you say some insensitive things, but at the end of the day, you’d better be willing to die for her. If you don’t, you’ll be ignoring your biology.

No, really.

“Doors and entering a room are another cultural quirk left over from long ago. When couples are together, men tend to go through doors first. That’s because you just don’t know what you’re going to encounter behind a closed door. It’s an old bit of frontier wisdom, there could be a fight going on, in which case opening the door for women and pushing them into the room like some sort of human shield, is just not polite. It’s kind of amusing, to this day I experience a moment of hesitation if hubby holds the door open and wants me to go first.”

She gets perplexed when her husband isn’t willing to be her human shield.

Nequam
Nequam
7 years ago

Is there no misogynist that IB won’t defend and sympathize with?

Letting my inner bitch bark a bit… I think from now on I shall call IB22 “IBS” because much like that particular disorder she shows up and shit dribbles everywhere.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Aren’t you glad you didn’t marry an anti-feminist, guys? Think what she might demand that you do to prove your loyalty and protective instincts.

Alais
7 years ago

So, what I’m saying is that IB22 makes more sense to me now. She’ll feel sorry for abusive men as long as they’ll sacrifice themselves for her when that mean world that she’s so sure is out there comes to get her.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

She’ll feel sorry for abusive men as long as they’ll sacrifice themselves for her when that mean world that she’s so sure is out there comes to get her.

That’s not a fun place to be.
“I’ll let you treat me like crap because I can’t survive without you!”
…The thing is, abusive people tend to be very selfish.
It’s part of why they are able to subjugate the people around them, to make those people feel powerless and weak…and not see this as contradictory to love.

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