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Attention Heartiste: Don Draper is not an actual person

The REAL thousand-cock stare
The REAL thousand-cock stare

One of the odder folk beliefs of the pickup artist subculture is that women become worn down and used up and even a bit addled if they have sex with too many men. Men, by contrast, are said to be able to handle an equal number of female lovers with grace and aplomb.

In a recent post, our old friend Heartiste offers what he sees as decisive photographic evidence illustrating the different effects of promiscuity on men and women. One bit of this evidence: a picture of a young woman used to advertise some sort of singles event. Reflections from the photographer’s lights obscure her pupils, an offputting effect that gives her a slightly deranged look.

thousand

Heartiste, apparently not curious enough to wonder why the woman seems to have no pupils, sees this as clear photographic evidence of the tell-tale “thousand cock stare” that he believes women develop after exposure to more than the lifetime recommended allotment of penises.

To underscore his claim that promiscuous men are “more emotionally stable and contented” than their female counterparts, Heartiste offers this photographic evidence:

DOn Draper, looking content

I think we can all see the problem here. Aside from the fact that a single photograph of someone smiling offers no real clue to that person’s relative stability or degree of happiness with their life – there are plenty of people who can put a good face on all sorts of troubles – this is not actually a picture of a promiscuous man.

It’s a picture of actor John Hamm playing the character of Don Draper, a promiscuous ad exec on Mad Men, in full costume and makeup and doing his best to act the part of a contented man.

As regular viewers of the show are well aware, Don Draper is not always so contented. Indeed, the character is a near-constant drinker with a troubled past who ruins two marriages through his compulsive womanizing.

Here are pictures of Don Draper in some less-happy moments.

draper-sadtumblr_m2ando8Ago1r2r481o1_1280tumblr_m2qgh3LbXB1r2r481o1_1280DonDraperBukes

Can we conclude therefore that excess promiscuity will turn smiling, confident men into puking emotional wrecks? Well, no, because, again, Draper is a CHARACTER, not a person. He’s NOT REAL.

But don’t try telling Heartiste that, because he seems to prefer to live in an imaginary world.

A man can sample the slits and furrows of outrageous fortune and survive the whirlwind of passion to mark a day in the future when he contentedly and without pathological second-guessing slips into a stabler, longer term commitment.

Women who have sampled a poo poo platter of penes accumulate emotional scars that never heal; promiscuous women have a mental storage closet filled with five minute montages of alpha male love, and these exciting, prurient memories rob the female id of something important. Call it purity or innocence or self-worth or ability to appreciate romantic idealism, the slut with ass chafing from riding the cock carousel is never the same as she was before she let herself get pummeled by dick.

Uh, just so you know, Heartiste, the Chinese menu item you evidently have in mind is actually called a Pu Pu Platter. A Poo Poo Platter is something, well, a bit different.

Then again, I suspect that most of those women who’ve “sampled” Heartiste’s alleged charms would have, in hindsight, rather spent the evening cleaning shit out of a toilet tank.

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J.J
J.J
7 years ago

I concur with everyone who has said that sadness/depression/self loathing/etc doesn’t justify being cruel and abusive to other people. I know plenty of people, myself included, who have dealt with all of those things and worse, and somehow manage not to abuse other people, spew hate everywhere, and are accountable for their own actions. So I don’t feel sympathy for someone who seems unable to think of anyone but themselves and enjoys hurting people.

Anyone who has LBT’s e-mail, please extend best wishes from me too, and hope that LBT comes back and their brain is kinder to them.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

Shall we just jaunt over to your blog to have a gander at your soaring compassion?

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
7 years ago

And why in earth would he call pleasant memories of past lovers and sexy-times “emotional scars that never heal?” Good memories are good, right?

Good for her, maybe, but what about her future lovers? Now she’s got something to compare them to ruined forever!

@Alais, “Redpillock” is excellent!

Sitting around going, “Fuck him and his presumably sad fee-fees and fuck you too,” makes you just as bitter as he is.

What if we added a “fuck you”, too?

contrapangloss
7 years ago

Lea, she really said “Semen Receptacles” about women on birth control?

But, receptacles are for storing stuff until you can use it or discard it, and women on birth control are never going to use the semen for anything, and we don’t have to go empty our semen receptacles like our trash cans every couple of days…

So… how does that even work?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Observe, as the bitter melon calls the watermelon bitter while attempting to shove a basket of lemons down the throat of any woman foolish enough to take her seriously. Pretty funny, no?

Alais
7 years ago

Contrapangloss, perhaps we’re receptacles for different pHs.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

“Be careful. There are too many decent people out there to waste your time and your wellness on abusive people who try to make you feel sorry for them.”

QFT.
A LOT of people out there have been through horrible stuff. Having gone through horrible stuff does not give you a free pass to be an asshole. Ever.
If someone starts handing you excuses and refuses to own their behavior? don’t stick around to see how bad it’ll get, mmmkay?

IB,
You still calling women who have sex with birth control “semen receptacles”?

Did she really?
That’s an awfully shitty view of human lovemaking…I mean-look, the average sexual frequency of a hetero married couple in their 30’s is twice a week.
Obviously, the majority of people making love aren’t going to want that to result in a pregnancy most of the time, as most people are not Duggars.
Note also, people in long-term relationships probably have more sex than PUA’s. Admittedly, it’s to the same person, but some of us like that.

insanitybytes22
7 years ago

“You still calling women who have sex with birth control “semen receptacles”?”

Are you implying that the women who have sex with the Heartiste’s of the world are being used for anything else? PUA’s? Yeah, women are being treated like semen receptacles and deceiving themselves by calling it empowerment. Go read the rad/fems, they’re closer to the truth with their, all PIV is rape theories.

Katzentier
Katzentier
7 years ago

It makes me feel so relieved to see people here condemning abusers with a past of mental health issues, I’m seriously grateful to you people. There’s a guy like that in my friend group and while some of us are fed up with him for the countless instances where he misbehaved (but was oh so sorry and would never do it again, this time for real, promise! ), others keep defending him and thus he stays. I refuse to forgive him and am now blamed for making that point clear somewhere he could read it and “provoking him is not helpful”. I doubted myself so hard, wondering if I’m really treating him unfair, and I’m really glad too see it spelled out here so clearly. Thanks people!

J.J
J.J
7 years ago

I think, possibly, people think that vaginas are like cold storage in a sperm bank, and keeps all the semen ever released inside of it safe and someday will impregnate the woman to force some beta to raise alpha spawn. ‘Cause science. And women don’t bathe or use condoms, ever.

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
7 years ago

1) You’re a misogynist.
2) We don’t need to “go read the radfems”, most of us have read them and some of us are them
3) Most radfems don’t think “all PIV is rape”. Maybe it’s YOU who needs to go read them.
4) Why do I think you’re using the manosphere definition of “radfem”, rather than the actual one?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

I’m pretty much a radfem, and frankly, the crap you write is far more harmful to the minds of young women than the crap Roissy writes. At least he’s not pretending to have their best interests in mind.

J.J
J.J
7 years ago

…while the women who engage with the PUA/Heartiste types are being objectified, women who have healthy consensual sex, with long term partners or casual ones, are not receptacles. They are enjoying sex, with a partner, to their mutual enjoyment, and they are actively participating, not just having something done to them. You’re denying woman sexual autonomy, insanity.

Katzentier
Katzentier
7 years ago

The thing being that I know a lot of other people with bad childhood experiences and who are suffering from depression or other mental ailments and none of those, including myself, lash out the way he does. And obviously the poor feefees and provocation excuse doesn’t count when he uses slurs against me (or women that turned him down), but to say his behaviour is assholish is taking things too far. :/

Alais
7 years ago

IB22, tell that to my friend who’s committed to remaining a virgin until marriage but takes BC because she has PCOS and needs the pills to induce her period so that she won’t become infertile and so that she’ll be able to have children one day of she wants them.

Shiraz
Shiraz
7 years ago

IB wrote:

“They really, really hate the alleged alphas because those are the guys gaining access to all that “innocence, self worth, and idealism,” while no matter how hard the Heartiste’s try, they can never seem to access it.”

Why did this remind of vampire envy? Hmmm.

Nequam
Nequam
7 years ago

Does that, does that actually need to be said? Holy spirits I hope it doesn’t, Lolita is pretty clear in it’s themes.

You’d think– but then again the American Nazi Party put Norman Spinrad’s The Iron Dream on their recommended reading list …

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Remember when some warmongering Republican tried to use Born in the USA as his campaign anthem? Some people have no sense of irony.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

a mental storage closet filled with five minute montages of alpha male love

If he only lasted 5 minutes, he wasn’t very alpha.

kittehserf
7 years ago

I’ve never understood that part of the argument. If lots of sex ruins your ladybits then why does it matter whether the sex is with one person or multiple people?

Because none of those people are Roissy!

Muahahahahahaha!

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Yeah, women are being treated like semen receptacles and deceiving themselves by calling it empowerment.

They are being deceived by the PUA first and foremost. Whether they deceive themselves afterward…I’m guessing not so much.
I somehow expect running across one of these PUA creeps qualifies as “painful learning experience,” for a lot of women…what they want to do with you I can’t imagine them being very good at, because being good at sex requires caring about the other person’s (or people’s) enjoyment.
Probably why Heartiste and his ilk like them young and sheltered…easier to dupe.

As far as mutual “hooking up,” some women do that, it’s their bodies and not your business.
If you want to say the woman is used, and the man is a user?
Who’s using who?
The only reason to think more of him and less of her is because sexism, and that can go stuff itself.

katz
7 years ago

Remember when some warmongering Republican tried to use Born in the USA as his campaign anthem? Some people have no sense of irony.

I’ve also heard “Fortunate Son.”

Both of which are topped by the song choice in this GE coal ad.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
7 years ago

At least feminism doesn’t consider women ruined “semen receptacles” for falling prey to “that one dude you shouldn’t have slept with,” like patriarchy does.

That was one of the lessons I took away from Pride and Prejudice and Lydia’s fate, actually: that sleeping with an asshole is unpleasant, but at least now you don’t have to marry the fucker.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

At least feminism doesn’t consider women ruined “semen receptacles” for falling prey to “that one dude you shouldn’t have slept with,” like patriarchy does.

Dangit! I wish I’d said that!
*pouts*

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

It’s like if someone made an ad for a porn movie and used “Doll Parts” as the background song.

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