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A Voice for Men writer laments: "Since the advent of ‘marital rape,’ sex is no longer a loving duty, so it has become whim and weapon."

Caution: RIng does not transform "no" into "yes."
Caution: Ring does not transform “no” into “yes.”

Has A Voice for Men just declared itself in favor of marital rape?

In the midst of a long and otherwise fairly tedious piece complaining about wives asking their husbands to do their fair share of the chores, Clint Carpentier offers some rather startling thoughts on marital rape laws, and how he thinks they help to make marriage a losing proposition for modern men.

In the good old days, he writes, “sex was a wifely duty she was obligated to provide as per the terms of marriage.” But “since the advent of ‘marital rape,’ sex [in marriage] is no longer a loving duty, so it has become whim and weapon … .”

Yep. Apparently “being raped by your husband” is really just a way to fulfill your “loving duty” as a wife.

So, Carpentier concludes, if wives demand that you do the chores around the house, and you can’t rape them at will, what’s the point of even having one in the first place? After all, he argues, in an age of washing machines and readymade meals chores are easy, and men can get “once per day of blasé sex” from “any street-hooker” or splurge on “mind-blowing sex once a week [from] a well trained call-girl.”

And so, he writes,

If women are demanding that their husbands do their “fair share” of the chores, then why do men need wives at all? In man’s attempt to make their wives lives easier, they have reduced the wifely duties to next to non-existent. Why, women? Why oh why would you drive those final coffin nails of obsolescence in? Aside from children, there’s no benefit left to having a wife.

Well, if the only “benefits” you can see in having a wife are someone who will do the cooking and cleaning and whom you can rape at will, then, no, there is no benefit to you in having a wife now that marital rape is illegal. And there is certianly no benefit to any woman in marrying or dating or possibly even being in the same room as you.

Where have all the good men gone? Well… where have all the good women gone?

That’s right: A man who considers marital rape to be a husband’s right honestly thinks that he’s one of the good ones.

AVFM’s Paul Elam loves to rail against the evils of traditionalism and chivalry. Interesting that marital rape is one element of traditionalism he apparently has no problem with.

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Thuja
Thuja
8 years ago

If these asshats really want the legal right to rape their wives, thus making marriage a worthwhile venture, there are plenty of parts of the world they can move to. It’s as easy as that. Luckily for them, marital rape is only illegal in some countries.

kittehserf
8 years ago

I guess one can learn about being ethical in one’s treatment of other people, even if the empathy isn’t there?

Diana Adams
Diana Adams
8 years ago

Remind us again why we should be worried if those dudes don’t want to marry or go their own way or whatever? God saves from those so called ‘good guys’.

marinaliteyears
marinaliteyears
8 years ago

Its difficult to keep my disgust from showing. Obviously, everyone has a different Definition of love, and even when We share that definition with others, Its hard to define it precisely, but Its becoming painfully clear to me that ‘Love’ For a MRA Is a sort of suffocating blanket. Its the idea that ‘providing’ and ‘security from other men’ Is romantic. Its the idea that telling a woman what is ‘good for her’ Is Noble. They think woman are inept and unable to play the role of ‘leader’ ‘protector’ and ‘provider’ In any serous function, And are therefore incapable of love. (Unless they adhere to the idea of the double standard that a woman only loves by being the ’emotional’ and ‘fragile’ one.)

Then, Suddenly, They say something like this, Where they act like Marriage is a transaction. Suddenly, they wanna weigh it with pro’s and con’s, but only their own skewed pro’s and con’s. Its the same old tired ‘But woman bring nothing to the table’ Argument, because obviously all woman jobs are cushy pretend jobs, and obviously Actually CARING about one another is a silly feminist notion.

Making this particular notion sick is the underlying Rapey idea that having sex whenever and however the male wants is only ‘right’ because he is a provider.

Can these guys honestly not see that They are Way WAY more emotionally manipulative then even the pretend seductresses and harpies they pretend woman are?(Rhetorical. by this point it doesn’t matter if they do or don’t, either way is Sad.) “You can’t provide because you are bad at it. Also since you don’t provide, you should feel obligated to sex me.” Is not a valid argument. you cant keep people from doing something, and then BLAME them for not wanting to do those things. (the typical claim that woman don’t work coal mines and the military comes to mind in particular, despite that being untrue, even back into more ‘traditional’ times.)

Felisha (@FelishaFem)
8 years ago

I doubt Elam missed the part about “marital rape”. And the way Clint romanticizes ‘loving duty’… Doesn’t he know there’s nothing loving about a husband coming home drunk and angry, then forcing himself on his wife?

LadySunami
LadySunami
8 years ago

subject by design said… @ matamoros – how is a woman “lesser”?

Lesser in many ways, different in others. Man is made in the image or God, woman is made in the image of man – surely that alone illustrates the lesser. Man is a creator as is God. Man has the headship in the home and society by Divine fiat. Woman was not given the fullness of reason that a man has (St. Thomas Aquinas). She also does not have the body strength and masculine virtues such as honor and decisiveness.

In marriage, the man/husband is the captain of the ship, the woman/wife is the first mate. It is not proper English to say that they are equal but different. The man is the head/captain, and the lesser position, rank, status, being, of first mate/helpmeet is the woman.

Christ is superior to the Church, man is commanded to love his wife as Christ loves His Church. The woman is told to obey, respect, submit to, etc., the man as the Church is to be submissive and obedient to Christ. It is clearly set out – no one can claim that the Church is equal to Christ, nor that woman is equal to man.

You just have to ditch the Femianity and get back to Christianity.

Some observations from Matamoros

This lovely bit of rational is part of the reason I’ve pretty much abandoned Catholicism. Some people try to talk around it, but perceived female inferiority is the real reason there are no female priests.

kittehserf
8 years ago

Ah yes, men as boss, by divine fiat.

Divine fiat as proclaimed by men.

Funny that.

LadySunami
LadySunami
8 years ago

I know, right? It’s almost like they intentionally had Eve eat the fruit first so the could blame women for all their problems. Eve, Pandora, and all the other lady scapegoats should start an anti defamation league.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Thuja

Luckily for them, marital rape is only illegal in some countries.

EW. The fuck is wrong with you?

kittehserf
8 years ago

Pretty sure Thuja was snarking, LBT.

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

It must really kill all these guys to know that they came out of the vagina of a Lesser Mortal Being. Who, all told, had a greater role in creating them than any god or man ever did.

kittehserf
8 years ago

I bet they’d curl up and die rather than acknowledge they came from inside those awful ladybits, with their blood and tuna smells!

pecunium
8 years ago

Jammies: Saying random, ridiculously hyperbolic stuff does not actually make it true, kittehserf.

Truer words you never said.

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

I bet they’d curl up and die rather than acknowledge they came from inside those awful ladybits, with their blood and tuna smells!

Fun fact: Men’s bits, and especially their semen, tend to taste and smell of whatever they’ve recently eaten. And often, that’s a LOT worse than tuna.

kittehserf
8 years ago

I read somewhere that the absolute worst for that is asparagus. Real lose-your-dinner taste, apparently.

Myoo
Myoo
8 years ago

@LadySunami

Lesser in many ways, different in others. Man is made in the image or God, woman is made in the image of man – surely that alone illustrates the lesser.

One could easily make the argument that Adam was just a prototype and Eve was the final product.

kittehserf
8 years ago

… and once again, just as the conversation gets really interesting, I have to go! Catch yez later. 🙂

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

I read somewhere that the absolute worst for that is asparagus. Real lose-your-dinner taste, apparently.

Ah yes, that would be due to the sulphur content. Asparagus also makes you fart up a storm if your bowels are at all sensitive.

On the other hand, I’ve heard that it makes your pee smell awesome!

LadySunami
LadySunami
8 years ago

Myoo,
But isn’t man supposed to be made in god’s image? I thought god was supposed to be “the most awesome being” (TM). Then again, maybe god DID make man in his image and then decided “his image” could be way more awesome and tried again with some some cool bonus features. Kind of like a kid drawing zirself but making zirself a 10 feet tall superhero with laser beam eyes. A shame all we got was bigger boobs and internal reproductive organs. I could use some laser beam eyes.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Lol, I can so picture that…

God: hmm, I put the gonads on the outside where they can get hurt fairly easily, maybe not my best idea, let’s put those inside next time around

(The implication of man being made in the image of god is that god can be kicked in the nuts XD )

Bina
Bina
8 years ago

(The implication of man being made in the image of god is that god can be kicked in the nuts XD )

Given all the atrocities done in God’s name, I’d say that’s fair, LOL.

cloudiah
8 years ago

I’ve been at the hospital all day. Did anyone post the r/mr thread on this article?

Although there are AVfM critics, the top comment argues that women used to actually bring something of value to a marriage: as an unpaid servant & self-warming Fleshlight.

Ally S
8 years ago

@cloudiah

[Content note: rape, rape jokes, rape apologia]

Aside from that comment, check out this appalling mess of rape apologia I found there:

I particularly like your point about coercion.
Social Justice Warriors are notorious for calling coercion rape.
Get an overdue tax bill with a threat? Shit, the IRS is raping me bro!

Social justice warriors are notorious for failing to differentiate between “you can’t have what you want if you don’t do what I want” and “I’m going to hurt you if you don’t do what I want.” The first one is sometimes shitty, and when it is, SJWs use the word “coercion” to describe that. That’s because SJWs do not understand that a choice doesn’t become not a choice just because one’s options aren’t precisely as one would like them to be.

6 net upvotes. For a comment that essentially erases rape victims whose rapists use psychological manipulation to coerce them. MRAs are such a lovely bunch.

Skye
Skye
8 years ago

I’m so glad my experience with Christianity is nothing like Sunshine Mary’s (or some of the other commenters). I was told the bit about not denying each other (that was the word used rather than defrauding) was about not playing head games regarding sex (ie using no sex as a punishment). It was never implied, implicitly or explicitly, that a spouse (either) could not say no. Fortunately, my experience was more ‘no matter how much you love someone, you might not always be up for sex/no matter how much they love you, they might not always be up for sex, that’s ok, just be honest with each other’

I don’t get how anyone can think of rape as having anything to do with love.

Skye
Skye
8 years ago

Ally,
TW (rape, violence)
Holy cow. So by that logic, ‘have sex with me or I kill your kids’ gives someone a choice in the matter and means he/she wasn’t raped?

/throws up

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