Categories
a voice for men a woman is always to blame abortion advocacy of violence antifeminism domestic violence evil sexy ladies evil women harassment hate men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA not-quite-explicit threats not-quite-plausible deniability paul elam playing the victim rape rape culture taking pleasure in women's pain terrorism

Paul Elam of A Voice for Men: In His Own Words

Paul Elam on 20/20
Paul Elam in a web-only clip from the 20/20 segment that never ran on television.

Paul Elam, the founder and primary animating force behind the website A Voice for Men, is probably, for better or worse, the most influential figure in the Men’s Rights movement (or, as he prefers to call it, the Men’s Human Rights Movement).

Elam is also a fierce misogynist with a penchant for angry, violent rhetoric full of only-slightly veiled threats. But don’t take my word for it. Perhaps the best way to get to know Mr. Elam is through his own words.

So here are some of Elam’s thoughts on a variety of issues, taken from postings on his own website.  I have linked each quote back to its source on A Voice for Men.

Paul Elam on Domestic Violence

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess. …

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong. Every one should have the right to defend themselves. …

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Here, courtesy of the Wayback Machine, is the post as it originally appeared on A Voice for Men in 2010, where it was illustrated with a picture of a woman with a black eye, captioned “Maybe she DID have it coming.”

Elam now says this was “satire,” though its hard to see how it is “satire” when he clearly says that he doesn’t think his allegedly “satirical” solution is wrong. When Swift wrote his Modest Proposal he didn’t think that eating babies was actually a good thing; if so, it would not have been a satire.

Paul Elam on Rape

I have ideas about women who spend evenings in bars hustling men for drinks, playing on their sexual desires … And the women who drink and make out, doing everything short of sex with men all evening, and then go to his apartment at 2:00 a.m.. Sometimes both of these women end up being the “victims” of rape.

But are these women asking to get raped?

In the most severe and emphatic terms possible the answer is NO, THEY ARE NOT ASKING TO GET RAPED.

They are freaking begging for it.

Damn near demanding it.

And all the outraged PC demands to get huffy and point out how nothing justifies or excuses rape won’t change the fact that there are a lot of women who get pummeled and pumped because they are stupid (and often arrogant) enough to walk though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

Elam, apparently trying to project a more respectable image, has replaced the original A Voice for Men post containing these passages with a disingenuous disclaimer. But the Internet never forgets. An archived copy of the original post can be found through the Wayback Machine here. The quote is not any better in context.

Paul Elam on Why He Would Vote to Acquit All Rapists

Elam feels that courts are “patently untrustworthy when it comes to the offense of rape” and so, he explained in one post:

Should I be called to sit on a jury for a rape trial, I vow publicly to vote not guilty, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true.

Original post here.

Paul Elam Explains How the Thought of Harming His Critics Sexually Arouses Him

No, I’m not making this up. Here are the strange, threatening remarks he addressed to an opponent of his Register-Her website (on which, more below).

Do you think I am going to stop?

It’s a serious question, because the answer to that question … should inform you of what will work for you or not work for you in dealing with me.

And the answer is, of course, no, I am not going to stop. You see, I find you, as a feminist, to be a loathsome, vile piece of human garbage. I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.

Original post here.

Paul Elam on the Necessity of “Inflicting Pain” on Opponents

Progress for men will not be gained by debate, reason or typical channels of grievance available to segments of the population that the world actually gives a damn about. The progress we need will only be realized by inflicting enough pain on the agents of hate, in public view, that it literally shocks society out of its current coma.

You can see this quote in context here.

Paul Elam, the World’s Strangest “Pacifist”

From a post on family courts:

I am a pacifist. I do not advocate violence. But I tell you this. The day I see one of these absolutely incredulous excuses for a judge dragged out of his courtroom into the street, beaten mercilessly, doused with gasoline and set afire by a father who just won’t take another moment of injustice, I will be the first to put on the pages of this website that what happened was a minor tragedy that pales by far in comparison to the systematic brutality and thuggery inflicted daily on American fathers by those courts and their police henchmen.

It would not even so much be a tragedy as the chickens coming home to roost.

You can see the comment in context here.

Paul Elam on Mothers’ Day

To all you mothers of the world, please give your Mother’s Day flowers and give them all generously. Most importantly, give them where they will do the most good. Place a bunch of daffodils at a dumpster near you, perhaps one in which one of you, or one of your kind, has tossed an unwanted baby, leaving it there to slowly die alone in a pile of trash.

Perhaps you could lay a single rose at the base of a bridge that has been used by a mother to throw her baby into an icy river. Perhaps you can lay it there with hands that have beaten or shaken a baby to death. …

Inspired? Good. Now perhaps some of you could place large, colorful arrangements at the abortion centers where women go to have children cut out and laid to rest in those colorful and attractive biohazard containers that are all the rage in the clinics.

He continues on in this vein for some time before getting to this:

This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.

And he continues on for several more paragraphs of abuse, until this:

In Daffodils for Dumpsters the gash gets you in, and you don’t really have a choice.

After several more paragraphs of this he makes clear that this time he’s not even claiming he’s writing satire:

Now, do I really mean all this? Yes.

You can read the whole remarkable thing here. He also wrote a similarly unhinged post about Valentines Day, which I wrote about here.

Now, Elam not only says many terrible things; he also does terrible things. Here are a few posts detailing some of these things.

Here’s a post about his website Register-Her, a fake “offenders registry” where feminist writers and activists are vilified alongside female murderers and child abusers, and threatened with the exposure of their personal information, in an attempt to silence them.

Here’s a post about A Voice for Men’s glorification of Thomas Ball, a disturbed man and self-admitted child abuser who set himself on fire on the steps of a courthouse in hopes that his death would inspire Men’s Rights activists to launch a campaign of firebombing attacks against courthouses and police stations.

Despite Elam’s claims of non-violence, A Voice for Men published Ball’s long terrorist manifesto — including his calls for firebombing — on its website, in its “activism” section. It was only after the Boston Marathon bombings that AVFM finally took the manifesto down.

Here’s a post about the time Paul Elam (along with a ragtag team of online misogynists and white supremacists) viciously attacked a young woman as an anti-male, anti-white bigot, resulting in threats directed at her and at her alma mater, Georgetown University. As it turned out, all the attacks on her, from Elam and other, were based on bogus information — as Elam would have known if he had taken ten minutes to fact check his sources.

These quotes, and these articles, are really only the tip of the iceberg. I invite anyone interested in finding out more about what Paul Elam believes to look through my archives at some of my other posts about him, and about A Voice for Men more generally.

578 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I think it’s less “this person has been here before” and more “selfish assholes are a dime a dozen on the internet”.

kittehserf
8 years ago

I thought sort of halfway: didn’t have the smell of sock (mind you I’ve been skimming his rubbish) but did come across as bog-standard misogynist loser.

marinerachel
marinerachel
8 years ago

That’s pretty sad, huh?

kittehserf
8 years ago

Ninjaed by Cassandra!

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

serrana: were you thinking the good doctor Pell?

serrana
serrana
8 years ago

I think it’s less “this person has been here before” and more “selfish assholes are a dime a dozen on the internet”.

Yeah, that’s probably it. It was the “I’m pretending to be sarcastic, but I’m actually telling you what an asshole I am” thing that sounded so familiar. Because they all do it eventualy!

serrana
serrana
8 years ago

No, hellkell, I was thinking of another one. Bob, maybe? Somebody super tedious.

katz
8 years ago

Pfft, Pell would never confess to having a bad relationship or getting arrested for a crime. All his girlfriends are 18-year-old virgins who giggle adoringly at him.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if all the MRAs lurking took his advice? If you are arrested on rape charges, the best course of action is to yell at all the male officers and sexually harass the female ones. That will work out great! Yeah, definitely do that. What could possibly go wrong?

Dan
Dan
8 years ago

@ Rachel.

I do not care what people on this site think of me. LMFAO. OMFG. You crazies actually think I would care what you think.

Last year, I dumped a chick who I was in a relationship for two years. Her daughter called me dad.

I dumped her, because she was abusive, she got out of control when she consumed alcohol, and she was starting to show acute signs of psychosis.

Guess who gave me a hard time for no longer helping take care of her daughter. No one who I gave a damn about.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

He does have Pell’s total inability to properly quote something, as well as his tendency to call everybody mentally ill. But I dunno.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Dan: cool story bro.

Fuck off.

Dan
Dan
8 years ago

Accusing a female detective of rape is not harassment. Oh wait. You people are mentally ill and can’t help your conditions. Carry on.

Since I knew I was in the clear, the chick was lying, and the detectives didn’t have anything for the DA’s office I decided to have some fun that day. I was trying to get one of the detectives to rough me up so I could get at least $5, 000 from the city. The detectives did not fall for it.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Hi, Pell. How’s Uncle Monty?

Dan
Dan
8 years ago

No hellkell.

Would you like to get fucked?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Would you like to get banned?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Ah, the meltdown begins. I have to cook dinner though, you guys can have fun without me.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

We all knew the meltdown was coming.

What’s for dinner? I had lobster ravioli.

marinerachel
marinerachel
8 years ago

Yeah, abandoning a kid that perceives you as their father makes you a massive loser, dude. The fact you’re proud of it just makes it worse. “I caused a child emotional trauma via abandonment and I DON’T CARE!” What a prize you are. There must be a lineup outside your door.

And no, no one here thinks you care what they think because it’s apparent the only thing you care about is yourself and being “right”.

You’re gross. I’m glad you dumped that women and got the hell away from that child. Huge step in the right direction for them.

MordsithJ
8 years ago

dammit, I was all set to eat leftovers and now I’m thinking about lobster ravioli. I really shouldn’t read Manboobz before dinner.

marinerachel
marinerachel
8 years ago

Leftover lasagna for me. Got to study. No time to cook.

Alice Sanguinaria
8 years ago

Empathy is a mental illness now? Wow, how anti-people is that?

And of course, the “I can’t help but rape her if she’s sitting on my lap!”. Oh fuck you.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“Now I see why some of you got offended why I called some folks crazies. You people are mentally ill and need meds.”

Hey, what if we’re medicated crazies?!

And idk if I count as a woman, seeing how non-binary, but last time I sat in a lap? Uh…I guess I did pretend to take over my mother’s the other day. Non-family would be…uh…um…uh…my ex-FWB? But I wasn’t teasing. Or rather, I was, because kinky. (TMI? Sorry)

Oh and pecunium makes a very comfortable headrest when having a jerkbrain. We are definitely not a thing and the whole “platonic” thing is in no way in question.

So nope, I don’t think I’ve ever taunted a man, or woman, or otherwise gendered person, with my body. Hm, though I may’ve sat on my pharm student’s non-binary lap. Does the genital configuration determine who was taunting whom?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

I made it with brown butter and parmesan. Burp.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Well, I’m nuts and I understand empathy, so the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

1 6 7 8 9 10 24
%d bloggers like this: