Categories
a voice for men a woman is always to blame abortion advocacy of violence antifeminism domestic violence evil sexy ladies evil women harassment hate men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA not-quite-explicit threats not-quite-plausible deniability paul elam playing the victim rape rape culture taking pleasure in women's pain terrorism

Paul Elam of A Voice for Men: In His Own Words

Paul Elam on 20/20
Paul Elam in a web-only clip from the 20/20 segment that never ran on television.

Paul Elam, the founder and primary animating force behind the website A Voice for Men, is probably, for better or worse, the most influential figure in the Men’s Rights movement (or, as he prefers to call it, the Men’s Human Rights Movement).

Elam is also a fierce misogynist with a penchant for angry, violent rhetoric full of only-slightly veiled threats. But don’t take my word for it. Perhaps the best way to get to know Mr. Elam is through his own words.

So here are some of Elam’s thoughts on a variety of issues, taken from postings on his own website.  I have linked each quote back to its source on A Voice for Men.

Paul Elam on Domestic Violence

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess. …

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong. Every one should have the right to defend themselves. …

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Here, courtesy of the Wayback Machine, is the post as it originally appeared on A Voice for Men in 2010, where it was illustrated with a picture of a woman with a black eye, captioned “Maybe she DID have it coming.”

Elam now says this was “satire,” though its hard to see how it is “satire” when he clearly says that he doesn’t think his allegedly “satirical” solution is wrong. When Swift wrote his Modest Proposal he didn’t think that eating babies was actually a good thing; if so, it would not have been a satire.

Paul Elam on Rape

I have ideas about women who spend evenings in bars hustling men for drinks, playing on their sexual desires … And the women who drink and make out, doing everything short of sex with men all evening, and then go to his apartment at 2:00 a.m.. Sometimes both of these women end up being the “victims” of rape.

But are these women asking to get raped?

In the most severe and emphatic terms possible the answer is NO, THEY ARE NOT ASKING TO GET RAPED.

They are freaking begging for it.

Damn near demanding it.

And all the outraged PC demands to get huffy and point out how nothing justifies or excuses rape won’t change the fact that there are a lot of women who get pummeled and pumped because they are stupid (and often arrogant) enough to walk though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

Elam, apparently trying to project a more respectable image, has replaced the original A Voice for Men post containing these passages with a disingenuous disclaimer. But the Internet never forgets. An archived copy of the original post can be found through the Wayback Machine here. The quote is not any better in context.

Paul Elam on Why He Would Vote to Acquit All Rapists

Elam feels that courts are “patently untrustworthy when it comes to the offense of rape” and so, he explained in one post:

Should I be called to sit on a jury for a rape trial, I vow publicly to vote not guilty, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true.

Original post here.

Paul Elam Explains How the Thought of Harming His Critics Sexually Arouses Him

No, I’m not making this up. Here are the strange, threatening remarks he addressed to an opponent of his Register-Her website (on which, more below).

Do you think I am going to stop?

It’s a serious question, because the answer to that question … should inform you of what will work for you or not work for you in dealing with me.

And the answer is, of course, no, I am not going to stop. You see, I find you, as a feminist, to be a loathsome, vile piece of human garbage. I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.

Original post here.

Paul Elam on the Necessity of “Inflicting Pain” on Opponents

Progress for men will not be gained by debate, reason or typical channels of grievance available to segments of the population that the world actually gives a damn about. The progress we need will only be realized by inflicting enough pain on the agents of hate, in public view, that it literally shocks society out of its current coma.

You can see this quote in context here.

Paul Elam, the World’s Strangest “Pacifist”

From a post on family courts:

I am a pacifist. I do not advocate violence. But I tell you this. The day I see one of these absolutely incredulous excuses for a judge dragged out of his courtroom into the street, beaten mercilessly, doused with gasoline and set afire by a father who just won’t take another moment of injustice, I will be the first to put on the pages of this website that what happened was a minor tragedy that pales by far in comparison to the systematic brutality and thuggery inflicted daily on American fathers by those courts and their police henchmen.

It would not even so much be a tragedy as the chickens coming home to roost.

You can see the comment in context here.

Paul Elam on Mothers’ Day

To all you mothers of the world, please give your Mother’s Day flowers and give them all generously. Most importantly, give them where they will do the most good. Place a bunch of daffodils at a dumpster near you, perhaps one in which one of you, or one of your kind, has tossed an unwanted baby, leaving it there to slowly die alone in a pile of trash.

Perhaps you could lay a single rose at the base of a bridge that has been used by a mother to throw her baby into an icy river. Perhaps you can lay it there with hands that have beaten or shaken a baby to death. …

Inspired? Good. Now perhaps some of you could place large, colorful arrangements at the abortion centers where women go to have children cut out and laid to rest in those colorful and attractive biohazard containers that are all the rage in the clinics.

He continues on in this vein for some time before getting to this:

This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.

And he continues on for several more paragraphs of abuse, until this:

In Daffodils for Dumpsters the gash gets you in, and you don’t really have a choice.

After several more paragraphs of this he makes clear that this time he’s not even claiming he’s writing satire:

Now, do I really mean all this? Yes.

You can read the whole remarkable thing here. He also wrote a similarly unhinged post about Valentines Day, which I wrote about here.

Now, Elam not only says many terrible things; he also does terrible things. Here are a few posts detailing some of these things.

Here’s a post about his website Register-Her, a fake “offenders registry” where feminist writers and activists are vilified alongside female murderers and child abusers, and threatened with the exposure of their personal information, in an attempt to silence them.

Here’s a post about A Voice for Men’s glorification of Thomas Ball, a disturbed man and self-admitted child abuser who set himself on fire on the steps of a courthouse in hopes that his death would inspire Men’s Rights activists to launch a campaign of firebombing attacks against courthouses and police stations.

Despite Elam’s claims of non-violence, A Voice for Men published Ball’s long terrorist manifesto — including his calls for firebombing — on its website, in its “activism” section. It was only after the Boston Marathon bombings that AVFM finally took the manifesto down.

Here’s a post about the time Paul Elam (along with a ragtag team of online misogynists and white supremacists) viciously attacked a young woman as an anti-male, anti-white bigot, resulting in threats directed at her and at her alma mater, Georgetown University. As it turned out, all the attacks on her, from Elam and other, were based on bogus information — as Elam would have known if he had taken ten minutes to fact check his sources.

These quotes, and these articles, are really only the tip of the iceberg. I invite anyone interested in finding out more about what Paul Elam believes to look through my archives at some of my other posts about him, and about A Voice for Men more generally.

578 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Burgers for dinner! And now I’m contemplating a Steigl Radler.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Speaking of cute, the latest fry count stands at 9~ little fishies! They’re hard enough to count when full grown, at 1 cm~ it’s nearly impossible, but I’m positive there’s at least seven, and I counted nine twice, so I don’t think I was double counting the same fishie.

Also, they’re bugging the snails, who are just like “fine, I pull in my antenna until you stop trying to eat them”

Dan
Dan
8 years ago

I meant ” drive to school”.

The kid was no longer my issue once I dumped the chick.

kittehserf
8 years ago

Yay for fishies!

Dinner’s too far off to have any idea what’ll be happening, but lunch will be toasted muffins with tasty cheese, and a cup or several of tea.

It’s a filthy day outside – going for 30C and with northerlies blasting away. Blah, I hate summer, especially when it arrives early. I hope the temperature drops soon, so the house doesn’t heat up.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Fishy babies!

I always thought “fry” was such a strange name for fish young. Not as strange as “tadpole” I suppose but at least tadpole only means one thing. Fry is an unrelated verb already. Like… weird.

Marie
8 years ago

@argenti aertheri

Yay for your fishies 😀

serrana
8 years ago

Cool, Argenti, nine fishie babies!

I had a veggie dog and baked beans from a can for dinner tonight because I have a cold and that was all I was up for. I made some great ravioli the other night, though. I roasted garlic and cherry tomatoes and tossed them with mushroom ravioli and some fresh basil. I will be making that one again.

Scary Loot (@AaronMDellutri)

@Dan | October 19, 2013 at 8:58 pm

The kid was no longer my issue once I dumped the chick.

Legally that’s correct.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Sorry about the cold, serrana.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

serrana: sorry about the cold, even up here that shit is going around. I had it two weeks ago, and it turned into a raging case of bronchitis.

But yay, much cooler weather! I actually have a sweatshirt and my nasty sheepskin boots on.

katz
8 years ago

Go on, Dan, tell us more about how dependent the child was to you, how deeply involved you were in his life, and how utterly incapable the mother was. The more details you give us, the better you’ll look for abandoning him.

Scary Loot (@AaronMDellutri)

@Argenti Aertheri | October 19, 2013 at 8:51 pm

Speaking of cute, the latest fry count stands at 9~ little fishies! They’re hard enough to count when full grown, at 1 cm~ it’s nearly impossible, but I’m positive there’s at least seven, and I counted nine twice, so I don’t think I was double counting the same fishie.

Oh interesting, you’re raising fry fish?

Dan
Dan
8 years ago

Katz, you mean she.

Do you have abandonment issues?

pecunium
8 years ago

Danny Boy: I am not like Paul. I will use logic. Don’t be scared kitten. I won’t keep you on your back too long.

You, my little love-muffin, won’t put me on my back, much less keep me there.

serrana
8 years ago

Dan why aren’t you posting cat videos? Are you afraid David’s will all be cuter than yours? You said you had courage.

serrana
8 years ago

Ugh, hellkell, bronchitis sucks. I hope you’re feeling better now. That shit can linger.

I am feeling well enough now I think to go to the fish store myself tomorrow. We set our 40 gallon back up after getting rid of the snails and now I need filter medium, plants, and some hearty starter fish. I think I want zebra danios. I haven’t had any of those for years.

sparky
sparky
8 years ago

Falsely accuse female detective of rape.

Posts in the comment section of blog that those who make false rape allegations should be punished to full extent of law.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

I’m past the point where I sound like a one-woman TB ward.

Tomorrow I’m going thrift store shopping with a friend. I also have to go back to the damn grocery store and pick up some stuff I forgot today. Mr HK is out of town, and going grocery shopping without him is really weird.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Not too bright, is he?

kittehserf
8 years ago

So now Dan thinks criticism for him abandoning a child = “abandonment issues”. Add amateur psychologist to his loserdom list.

kittehserf
8 years ago

hellkell – get Biscuit to do your shopping list. I’m sure he’d have interesting suggestions. 🙂

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“You, my little love-muffin, won’t put me on my back, much less keep me there.”

Can I? ^.^ (I’m in a mood, and joking)

Scary Loot — yep, my cories went and gave me eggs finally! Btw, you get a welcome package yet?

Serrana — Dr. Foster’s carries “stability”, it’s a starter bacteria culture. Their shipping is absurdly slow, but it might help. As far as starter fish, I’ve had good luck with zebra danios (well, leopard actually, but they’re the same species)

If you don’t mind me asking, where are you? If you’re in New England I can give you some of my biological media.

I’ve never done it, as it’ seen a decade since I set up a tank cold, but you can fishless cycle with straight up ammonia.

Oh and some of the loaches go absolutely bananas for snails if you have that issue again, that size tank…yoyo maybe? Idk if they love them the way clowns do though.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Kittehs: it would be hilarious to give him my card and send him to the store. I’d be swimming in cat treats and potato wedges.

We’ve jokingly told the cats to go to the store for us, since we do so much for them. They ignore us.

kittehserf
8 years ago

We’re forever telling our two they’ll have to do the shopping and earn their keep.

They ignore us, too.

Nitram
Nitram
8 years ago

David,

I really hope 20/20 dug all this up and is as vigilant as you in reporting this horrid stuff. Can you email a link to this post to the 20/20 people? It’s so comprehensive and who knows if the reporters were able to locate all of it. I’m desperately afraid Paul Elam is going to come off as merely a misguided sexist with his heart in the right place, etc. he can sound so reasonable and mainstream at times when trying to appeal to a wider audience, for example his letter that ever do calmly addressed the SPLC and tried to make his hate group classification sound like a big misunderstanding. And even that short 20/20 clip made him look reasonable. So worried they’ll miss the mark or dilute his hatred.

1 8 9 10 11 12 24
%d bloggers like this: