Time for another visit into the mind of Christopher in Oregon, a confirmed bachelor best known for posting long screeds on his friend MarkyMark’s blog about how ugly and smelly and disgusting women and their various orifices are. Today, his topic is old women, by which he seems to mean all women above the age of 35 or so.
I’m not even going to bother to comment on this one except to say: if you’re a heterosexual man, with an interest in sex, and you actually believe that all women over the age of 40 are icky and ugly and smelly and wear dentures, you’re not only delusional, you’re probably going to have a very sad second half of your life. (And I’m guessing the first half probably won’t be so great either.)
Here’s Chris:
Face it: Nature doesn’t want CRUSTY OLD WOMEN having children! Basic biology, folks, and I’m no expert on biology. It’s just common sense! …
Old women are supposed to be…..old women. Crabby old women. Ugly old women. Nasssssty old tobacco-chewin’ women. …
A woman should be done spewing out babies by the time she is thirty, and no later. By forty, a woman is OLD! Look around you. Look at the forty-year-old women you see every day. See any of them you want to screw? Any of them? Didn’t think so. (Blow-jobs aren’t good either- their dentures might lock up on your weinie! Imagine THAT 911 call!)
Nature makes women BUTT UGLY fairly early in life to prevent them from breeding. Kind of hard to get pregnant if you’re so gruesome no man in his right mind can get a boner over your appearance. But, women, in their arrogance, fail to realize that men are stimulated VISUALLY!
If you look like an old hag, then the penis just naturally will NOT stand to attention. You’ve got to have some sort of good looks to get our motors running, ladies, and if you look like a bag of wrinkly cellulite, then you had better face it- no one wants you! Contrary to the lie feminists have been telling you, fifty is NOT the new thirty! A fifty-year-old woman has less sex appeal than a sheep. (Ask anyone in Montana.)
I am constantly amazed at the post-forty women that have come on to me lately. Give me a break! Do they think I’m blind?
Ick! …
A woman of forty is not sexual in any sense of the word. She is useless for breeding, and her sex appeal is GONE! Why have women fallen for the lie that they remain sexual into their sixties and seventies? They are NOT! They are putrid, smelly shells of their former selves! Nothing more! By that age, a woman looks like the package her body once came in. All sagging, wrinkly and disgusting! …
If you just have to get laid, and you can close your eyes, and hold your breath (pew!), there is no easier lay than an old woman. They are so desperate. So pathetic. So easy.
So gross.
There’s more where this came from over at MarkyMark’s.
“And deep down, they don’t think they’re worthy enough for a woman to choose them to grow old with.”
Given their general toxicity, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Cassandra, one of those guys I mentioned was such a dick about it, that anytime there was a celebrity photo of an older man with a younger woman, I’d say “Ewwwwwww. They look like kiddie porn.” (Yes, I’m a shit sometimes.)
He’d fly off the handle. He didn’t like the idea of men being judged that way.
I’ve never understood a fear of aging. Like, health issues, sure, but I look immensely forward to getting old and crotchety. I want to be that wizened gnome sitting on the porch with my wrinkly husband, and cackling at kids trying to get on my lawn…
Off the top of my head, I can think of 3 long-term romantic relationships among my friends and family that started when the participants were in their 70s or 80s. I’ve also seen countless relationships begin among people in their 40s and 50s, but judging by how Chris describes women in their 40s (dentures??) I’m fairly sure that he’s actually thinking of septuagenarians.
I’m imagining him stuck in a little checkbox that he’s drawn himself into.
I’m actually really surprised when people say women age worse. I am continually surprised when I see guys I went to school with because they look so old! (I stopped aging at about 20 and for the last four years have been getting younger.) The girls I was at school with look their age, but none of them look like they’ve sprinted off into their thirties like the boys.
Let’s see.
Married at 31.
Baby at 40.
Hubby still seems quite happy to come home to me …
Still occasionally get hit on (actually _more_ than I did in my 20’s)
Also?
HELEN FUCKING MIRREN, YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.
Christopher’s no expert in biology? Color me shocked.
This seems to be a theme with misogynists who make (alleged) evolutionary arguments.
I’d love to hear Chris’ explanation for the skyrocketing rates of stds in retirement communities. Chris, that means old people are fucking.
Careful, hellkell, you’ll make his head explode!
(I’d say “brain” but that assumes facts not in evidence.)
My grandmother’s family did our genealogy for her portion of the family — they settled in Wisconsin in the mid-1800’s after immigrating from Switzerland. The wife was 20 and her husband was 45. She went on to have a dozen children, all of whom lived into their 80’s and 90’s. It took her 25 years to have them all. She was pregnant with her last child when her oldest daughter was having her first. She also spent the majority of her adulthood either pregnant or nursing.
A long human history without the benefit of reliable birth control would tend to contradict lil’ Christopher’s assertions. In short, as hellkell has pointed out…..old people are fucking.
Lance Armstrong’s got nothing on this juiced-up hamster.
All you “I know hot 40-year-olds!” shriekers are missing the point. Show me one woman who was less attractive at 20 than she is at 40 (barring extreme weight loss or reconstruction, which makes another point entirely).
I feel like I’ve seen some of Christopher in Oregon’s “work” on here before, but I have to ask, is he somewhere between 3rd-7th grade, or…?
Also, yeah, older people definitely be bangin’. My parents are 57 and 50, and I stumbled upon their lube while at home recently. (snicker)
I think that’s just the patented bad writing of the MRM, unless you were refferring to something else…
Chie Satonaka — damnit, I hadn’t even thought of that…I’ve got a branch that ends with a 65 year old mother, and went “yeah this is the wrong woman” but if she’s the step mother or it’s really her grandkid…
Argh, genealogy is complicated!
As for old people having sex, assuming they ever did, my grandfather remarried at, um 50 something? (Shit, I’m almost 30, when do I get to be wizened? Totally with LBT on the whole “young whippersnappers! We had dial up not this wifi everywhere shit!”)
Since I’m in my thirties, I guess I should be going out and buying some Copenhagen or Skoal bandits. At least for Chris in Oregon’s sake, I stopped “spewing out babies” before I hit the big 3 O.
You know, I’ve never heard straight women complain about men aging, or say men in public have a responsibility to meet their standards of sexiness. Women usually aren’t socialized to think they are entitled to decide how other people look, especially strangers. The entitlement shown by Chris in Oregon is a good example of straight male privilege. He actually thinks its his business that women past the age of 30 make his boner sad. How dare women exist in public without giving him a boner!
I also don’t know of any blogs where women complain about men going bald, getting pot bellies, or wrinkling. Yet there are dozens where PUA’s and other entitled dudes laugh about cis women with wrinkles, gray hair, going through menopause, etc.
Argenti: Totally with LBT on the whole “young whippersnappers! We had dial up not this wifi everywhere shit!”
We had terminals,and user accounts with limited time access.
Then we got a modem… 1200 baud. I remember the day we got a 28K with signal-noise correction, so call waiting wouldn’t drop the line.
So (shaking cane): Get offa ma lawn!
I think it will be “get off my wifi! young whippersnappers.”
Hey now, I had an ancient DOS box before I had internet (and then frikken daisy chained my first laptop to win95…that was fun)
But while we’re talking old tech, you don’t happen to have anything for a Smith Corona “word processor”? D88, I think
One perk of cleaning out my grandfather’s is that it’s finally mine. But my brother isn’t sure if he snagged the discs before my father purged all floppies.
I find this Christopher as ridiculous as the next person, but I wouldn’t assume there’s any particular bitterness or rage here. He seems like an asexual.
Pemmy, have you ever met an asexual?
And how’s the work cleaning the terrorism out of the MRM going?
PEMRA: what is this “seems like an asexual” bullshit? You just need an attention fix, fuck off.
@PEMRA be honest, you’re SJW-baiting, aren’t you?
Argenti: Fuck ancient. We had a new DOS box, and a “portable” compute (compaq, weighed about 20 lbs, needed an outlet; and a table).