Time for another visit into the mind of Christopher in Oregon, a confirmed bachelor best known for posting long screeds on his friend MarkyMark’s blog about how ugly and smelly and disgusting women and their various orifices are. Today, his topic is old women, by which he seems to mean all women above the age of 35 or so.
I’m not even going to bother to comment on this one except to say: if you’re a heterosexual man, with an interest in sex, and you actually believe that all women over the age of 40 are icky and ugly and smelly and wear dentures, you’re not only delusional, you’re probably going to have a very sad second half of your life. (And I’m guessing the first half probably won’t be so great either.)
Here’s Chris:
Face it: Nature doesn’t want CRUSTY OLD WOMEN having children! Basic biology, folks, and I’m no expert on biology. It’s just common sense! …
Old women are supposed to be…..old women. Crabby old women. Ugly old women. Nasssssty old tobacco-chewin’ women. …
A woman should be done spewing out babies by the time she is thirty, and no later. By forty, a woman is OLD! Look around you. Look at the forty-year-old women you see every day. See any of them you want to screw? Any of them? Didn’t think so. (Blow-jobs aren’t good either- their dentures might lock up on your weinie! Imagine THAT 911 call!)
Nature makes women BUTT UGLY fairly early in life to prevent them from breeding. Kind of hard to get pregnant if you’re so gruesome no man in his right mind can get a boner over your appearance. But, women, in their arrogance, fail to realize that men are stimulated VISUALLY!
If you look like an old hag, then the penis just naturally will NOT stand to attention. You’ve got to have some sort of good looks to get our motors running, ladies, and if you look like a bag of wrinkly cellulite, then you had better face it- no one wants you! Contrary to the lie feminists have been telling you, fifty is NOT the new thirty! A fifty-year-old woman has less sex appeal than a sheep. (Ask anyone in Montana.)
I am constantly amazed at the post-forty women that have come on to me lately. Give me a break! Do they think I’m blind?
Ick! …
A woman of forty is not sexual in any sense of the word. She is useless for breeding, and her sex appeal is GONE! Why have women fallen for the lie that they remain sexual into their sixties and seventies? They are NOT! They are putrid, smelly shells of their former selves! Nothing more! By that age, a woman looks like the package her body once came in. All sagging, wrinkly and disgusting! …
If you just have to get laid, and you can close your eyes, and hold your breath (pew!), there is no easier lay than an old woman. They are so desperate. So pathetic. So easy.
So gross.
There’s more where this came from over at MarkyMark’s.
What? Christopher of Oregon is not an expert in biology?!
This might be a minor thing compared to all the other fail, but ever notice that MRAs think a woman’s sexuality = her being sexually attractive to them? Slavey was especially notorious for this one, what with his “Female sexuality = wearing clothes” talking point.
Heads up, guys…that’s not what sexuality is. A person’s sexuality is their own internal sexual feelings, not the feelings of other people looking at them. If a 70-year-old woman is still capable of feeling turned on, then she is sexual. Even if you think she’s ugly.
(By the way, I have seen some stunningly beautiful 70-year-old women. Not “conventionally attractive,” but beautiful in the sense of being put together and possessing poise and good attitudes.)
I’m ashamed I share a home state with Christopher.
Huh. I wonder what he thinks menopause is about, then?
I can’t even address the rest of it. It’s so ridiculous I wonder if he’s ever actually been in the presence of a woman.
I get the feeling his sense that lots of older women are hitting on him is as firmly rooted in reality as the troll who jumped in the comments a day or two ago and asked David about all the sneering looks women on the TV were giving men/him, all the time.
hee, hee.
shitthatneverhappened.txt – but I needed the laugh.
I’ve never actually put this to the test, but I’d have thought a blowjob from someone with no teeth might have all kinds of advantages, provided she took her dentures out first.
However, I can confirm from extensive practical and highly pleasurable experience that women in their forties are infinitely more adept in that particular department than women in their teens and twenties.
Oh, and my wife is 47, and I have no plans to replace her with a sheep. And while I could always change my mind over the next three years, I’d advise against placing any bets.
Hmmm…he seems to think that married couples stop having sex when the woman reaches thirty five or so, or that her husband leaves her for someone younger. Well, I can assure him that that isn’t the case. Women are just as sexual in their fifties and sixties+ as they were in their twenties and that many men actually *gasp* find their wives no less attractive because after thirty years or so you realize that attractiveness is as much about love, friendship and a shared life that how pretty their body is. My unmarried aunt is in her seventies and has more male company than you can poke a stick at! And I can tell you, she’s still gorgeous, active, funny, clever and compassionate and definitely not “past it.
Some people (not MRAs and PUAs, obviously) actually value thier partners for reasons other than how pretty they are. Those who don’t do are likely to live sad and lonely lives as they get older and frankly I have little sympathy for them. If they’re going to be that shallow then they will find that there are consequences.
I feel like pulling out my dentures and hocking up a tobacco-stained loogy in his general direction.
A fifty-year-old woman has less sex appeal than a sheep.
I believe HE believes that. I also believe all the results of his breeding life will look like Um Jammer Lammy.
Nail on head. I don’t think people like Christopher (or his host MarkyMark) have any idea what it’s like being in a long-term relationship, because their fixation on physical appearance says it all. But of course in a successful relationship this is merely one of several factors – physical attraction is, of course, important (and I do feel desperately sorry for couples for whom that particular spark has gone out), but sex with somebody who is genuinely your closest friend and who has had that status for a very long time… there’s nothing to touch it.
And you can’t have a 20-year relationship with a 25-year-old, at least not without crossing several major moral and legal lines.
And in my experience by far my most sexually imaginative and adventurous partners have been in their forties, and for obvious reasons: not only have they had considerable practice, but they’re also much more knowledgeable about their own bodies and responses – and, equally crucially, articulate about precisely what they want.
Frankly, Christopher and MarkyMark’s silly, childish hangups means that it’s them who are missing out, but I can’t say that I’m especially sorry for them.
Julianne Moore, Kim Basinger, Oprah Winfrey, Holly Hunter, Angela Bassett, Kim Kattrall, Geena Davis, and Goldie Hawn would like a word with you.
Am I the only one a little creeped out by them talking about the alleged sex appeal of sheep versus women? I mean, animals can’t give consent, and they routinely make it clear that they think it doesn’t matter if women give consent or not. it just seems like they want something living to stick their boner into.
This Chris guy seems like such a ray of sunshine. I bet ladies are lining up to sleep with him, with that kind of wit and charm. It’s hard enough for me to keep my pants on just by reading his post. You can tell this is a guy who never has trouble getting laid because he’s such a fucking stud.
I guess no one wants to fuck Jennifer Anniston, or Gwen Stefani either. Those old hags.
Well, if you find sheep more attractive than your wife of thirty years, I’m sure this will satisfy you:
http://www.scarysextoyfriday.com/2011/02/scary-sextoy-friday-inflatable-sheep.html?zx=3b3ef27b27c53527
(Link NSFW)
(Yes, my mind did immediately jump to that)
Truer words were ne’er spoken.
“I am constantly amazed at the post-forty women that have come on to me lately. Give me a break! Do they think I’m blind?”
I’d be amazed if anyone ever hit on him at all.
I’m not sure whether these guys want to scare women into settling, whether they are moaning about the lack of 20 year old women who want to sleep with 40 year old men or whether they are trying to justify why they are single. Maybe it is all three.
What I get from this is: 1) dude’s peen hardly ever stands at attention (because womens are icky) and 2) he’d rather screw a sheep.
And yet I’m sure more than a few of them have killed a few kittens to Lisa Ann… and I dare them to try to convince me that Jamie Lee Curtis and Mariska Hargitay aren’t hot.
I totally want to be a dirty old tobacco-chewin’ woman when I grow up. Yesterday was my 35th birthday, so I’m nearly there!
Shaenon, have you gotten your dentures yet?
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Chris hasn’t had sex since the Carter administration. And unless he is a perfect specimen himself, no young woman is going to want a damn thing to do with him. When I was in my 20s the thought of dating a 50 year old man would have made me gag.
Where’s my dentures? I’m 41, I should have them by now.
My mom got married in her forties (and actually had braces, not dentures, at the time.) I am relieved to know she and her husband have never had sex. Parents having sex is just gross. Thank you, Christopher in Oregon. If I am still under thirty and passing through Oregon, I will deliver the blowjob I owe you on account of science and history.
Gee, someone forgot to send that memo to my grandfather. My grandmother was 45 when she gave birth to my mother.