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Skanks, Spongebob, and the Maso-kabbalist videodrome complex

Jenna Jameson on a Harley. (Chuck E. Cheese not pictured.)

Sure, Man Boobz 2011 Troll of the Year NWOslave may live in an alternate reality — but he at least seems well-grounded in that reality. What might happen if he were to suddenly ingest a tab or ten of LSD?

I think I have an answer to that question. Meet blogger and conspiracy theorist Jay Dyer, a self-described “controversialist, writer, comedian, debater, and philosopher/theologian.”

That’s a mouthful, and Jay more or less lives up to it, delivering stream of consciousness rants that range from Aleister Crowley (he’s not a fan) to the evils of women dressing like Hannah Montana. Plus he quotes the Bible from time to time.

Actually, that description doesn’t even begin to capture Jay’s peculiar charms. So, without further ado, I present to you some highlights from an essay titled The United Skanks of Amerika that Jay wrote with the assistance of someone identified only as M.B.

Amerika has become one, big, nasty, black metal mosh pit. Satan said to Adam and Eve “do what thou wilt,” Satanist Aleister Crowley said, “do what thou wilt” and the gospel of Amerika is “do what thou wilt.” …  Churches are dominated by fat matriarchal women and homosexuals. Women open their purses and the priests of Ashtoreth bow and tell them whatever they want to hear. …  Amerika is a play land – a bigger, gayer Disney world. It’s middle-aged moms on facebook, donning Montana garb. The nation is frozen in perpetual adolescence and arrested development.

After this dramatic opening, Jay offers up the strangest capsule version of American history I’ve ever seen:

Started by a bunch of tee-totaler puritan gnostics, this nation has jumped to the opposite extreme and become a cess pool of flesh. In fact, in the East Coast punk scene, kids are now eating chunks of each others’ flesh. Let that sink in. In the West Coast gay scene, it is now an honor to receive AIDS from trendy gays.

Then Jay gets around to the “skanks” of the essay’s title:

Women of this country, especially young women, are perpetual princesses stuck in a perpetual mirror glance, coated in chemicals and striving for the most unnatural goals – to be a manwoman. For a sensible male to get with one of these creatures is in serious danger. But watch out – before long, they’ve left you for another woman and taken your fake Federal Reserve notes. They get half of your all-seeing eyes. Whores with your Horus. Dressed like complete whores, will they soon be completely naked?

But young men don’t get off any easier in Jay’s critique:

The average twenty-something male is now a fat, gamer, feminized, emo freak, who spits every time he lisps, because he can’t form sentences.

Neither do middle-aged men:

Grown men – baby-boomer dads – collect comics and play Dungeons & Dragons. And if they don’t, they stare at pixelated football and the Maso-kabbalist videodrome complex.

Yes, he really did just say “Maso-kabbalist videodrome complex.”

Jay also has some issues with higher education:

The “wise men” of this culture are the Marxist, gay, feminist, druid college professors, who, if they have children, drive them to white horror core rap concerts. Just like the sociology professor mom involved with Pyscho Sam whom her daughter met over Myspace.

And lower education:

That any parent would put their children in public school is a sign of apparent hatred of their kids. Why would anyone put their kids in a government re-education camp? Public schools are prisons where the teachers screw students and students get doped up on pills become homosexual.

When they’re not shooting each other, that is:

[P]arents can’t understand why their children shoot each other at school. The[y] shoot one another at school because they are possessed by the demonic culture. And while you stupidly play golf and make scrapbooks, your kids are worshipping Lucifer, who, according to you, doesn’t exist.

Women working! Men raising kids! It’s all one big air-conditioned nightmare for Jay:

The family is now become stay-at-home dads that care for the 1.3 kids, while moms climb the skyscraper and has sex with the CEO for more fake fed notes. If it’s not this, it’s “my two dads.”

Preach it, Jay!

Amerika is just this – Chuck E. Cheese speeding at you on a Harley, holding Crowley’s Magick in Theory and Practice,with Jenna Jameson mounted on the back. …

Amerika is krunk. Amerika is funk. Amerika is junk. Amerika is Lil’ Jon having sex with Lady Liberty. …

Rationalism is what birthed this country, but it morphed into utter irrationality. Thomas Paine became Spongebob and Spongebob is Thomas Paine.

I think I’ll just leave it at that. Oh, there’s more — much, much more —  in Jay’s little manifesto, but my poor brain can only take in so much in one sitting without exploding.

NOTE: I discovered Jay’s essay through a link on MGTOWforums.com; the dude posting the link described it as “one of the best essays about feminism and life in the US … By far one of the most accurate essays I have ever had the pleasure of reading.” It got a mixed reaction; the consensus seemed to be that while he made some good points, Jay might just be a little too obsessed with Aleister Crowley and the Masons.

EDITED TO ADD: Also, if middle-aged women want to wear some sort of “Montana garb,” I’d suggest they go with Patsy, not Hannah. Patsy Montana was awesome!

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Bostonian
10 years ago

Yeah, if the MGTOW think you are a little loopy, then you are for sure completely divorced from any reality that we know.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
10 years ago

The funniest part about this rant is that, as a member of the East Coast punk scene, I can assure you I’ve never seen any of this supposed flesh eating. In fact, if I receive an East Coast punk rocker at my home for dinner, my usual question is “are you vegetarian, vegan or neither?”, not “is there any chance you’d like a piece of my shoulder?”

zhinxy
10 years ago

Spoken Word Performance Gold.

ozymandias42
10 years ago

As a person with acquaintances in the West Coast gay scene (or, at the very least, who are both on the West Coast and gay), I must state that there is very little “it is an honor to receive AIDS from you” and quite a lot of “and the twelfth reason I love the Dresden Files is– hey, asshole, stop hogging the glitter and the henna.”

johnnykaje
10 years ago

Amerika has become one, big, nasty, black metal mosh pit. Satan said to Adam and Eve “do what thou wilt,” Satanist Aleister Crowley said, “do what thou wilt” and the gospel of Amerika is “do what thou wilt.” … Churches are dominated by fat matriarchal women and homosexuals. Women open their purses and the priests of Ashtoreth bow and tell them whatever they want to hear. … Amerika is a play land – a bigger, gayer Disney world. It’s middle-aged moms on facebook, donning Montana garb. The nation is frozen in perpetual adolescence and arrested development.

This is…bad? A big gay Disneyworld sounds like a fucking blast.

Quackers
Quackers
10 years ago

what….the fuck?

johnnykaje
10 years ago

“Why would anyone put their kids in a government re-education camp?”

Reeducated? What education did they have before? They’re frigging kids mate.

Technically it’s just an education camp. Sounds just as sinister! Win-win!

Dracula
Dracula
10 years ago

Man, living in this guy’s head must be a hell of roller coaster ride.

I love how doing things that bring you joy is a sign a vast, evil conspiracy. Comics! D&D! Oh horrors, next they’ll be dancing!

Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
10 years ago

Okeeeeeeeeeeee … (backs out of room)

marc2020
marc2020
10 years ago

“Amerika has become one, big, nasty, black metal mosh pit”

No need to read any more I’m booking my ticket now, seriously that is the shot in the arm the American tourist board needs. Travel companies could learn allot from this guy.

Caraz
Caraz
10 years ago

So America is both a black metal mosh pit AND a bigger gayer Disneyland?

Despite neither of those things sounding all that bad to be honest, they aren’t even like each other, let alone the whole of America.

Dracula
Dracula
10 years ago

Also this:

Public schools are prisons where the teachers screw students and students get doped up on pills become homosexual.

Have the pills become homosexual? That’s what the wording suggests.

Caraz
Caraz
10 years ago

Please, if we had pills that could turn people gay, we’d be spiking the drinks of every politician in the country. Thus creating instant 100% support for all items on the official Homosexual Agenda ™ which does too exist.

Sometimes I think like a super-villain.

Scar
Scar
10 years ago

“Started by a bunch of tee-totaler puritan gnostics”

“Rationalism is what birthed this country”

Haaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
*Wipes tears*
Oh god. That was priceless.

Evil Alex
Evil Alex
10 years ago

and you know what is causing all of this? cyber vampire kittens from space, that’s what. They have estrogen on their fangs, so whenever they bite you the estrogen sinks in and you became a sissy gay pants. It somehow has the reverse effect on women. So now we are all gay lesbian cyber vampire kitten humans who are at the very brink of collapsing and going extinct, and their is nothing any of you anti feminists can do about it, so THERE!

Cloudiah
Cloudiah
10 years ago

I’ve just phoned in my Chuck E. Cheese order to confirm that it is delivered via Harley. Whatever they deliver, I will eat it after taking my pills that have become homosexual. Wow, just wow.

ithiliana
10 years ago

*blinks*

*reads again more slowly*

Nope, I was right the first time.

This dude makes Meller seem relatively coherent. NWO comes close to Dyer on occasion, but you’re right, is more grounded in a single theory.

Wow, whoda thunk.

kladle
kladle
10 years ago

This is like that Denver airport mural come to life…

Discordia
10 years ago

ok what is this guy on….because I want some! ok…actually maybe not

This guy must be related to that Kay Hymowitz with his no noes! grown ups are going to disneyland, reading comics, playing video games and AD&D! How dare people have fun and be happy!

ozymandias42
10 years ago

Wait, wait, wait. College professors are DRUIDS?

jumbofish
10 years ago

sponge bob?
crowley?
?????????

zhinxy
10 years ago

Wait, wait, wait. College professors are DRUIDS?

…I do know one guy.

but JUST one.

I also know one west hollywood gay Thelemite who loves Disneyland . But again, it’s not a trend.

zhinxy
10 years ago

kladle | January 26, 2012 at 5:48 pm
This is like that Denver airport mural come to life…

And the horse.

OH god, the horse! XD

Falconer
Falconer
10 years ago

Grown men – baby-boomer dads – collect comics and play Dungeons & Dragons.

Pfft. Please. Some of us play GURPS. And plenty of us aren’t baby boomers.

Wouldn’t baby boomer dads mostly be baby boomer grandads by now?

And while you stupidly play golf and make scrapbooks,

Wait a minute, I thought we were playing D&D and watching television. Oh well, you know how it is … hopeless nerds one minute, Republicans the next.

your kids are worshipping Lucifer, who, according to you, doesn’t exist.

Well, if you claim he exists, it’s your job to prove it. We can’t just presume Bigfoot exists until someone proves that he doesn’t, and it’s the same with Lucifer.

If you want to know what the future looks like, imagine Chuck E. Cheese speeding at you on a Harley, holding Crowley’s Magick in Theory and Practice,with Jenna Jameson mounted on the back forever.

darksidecat
10 years ago

I am the only one who thinks more that one part description sounds like a total fucking awesome thing?

I want a gay naked genderqueer disneyland and I want it now! XD

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