Categories
#gamergate a near for men a voice for men a woman is always to blame alt-right Dunning–Kruger effect empathy deficit entitled babies evil fat fatties female beep boop gynocentrism men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA paul elam twitter YouTube

“The default setting for romantic relationships is abusive toward men,” angry Men’s Rights grandpa Paul Elam declares

Paul Elam, mad about something

By David Futrelle

Remember this guy? Once upon a time, Paul Elam, founder of the misogynistic hate site A Voice for Men and once one of the world’s more (in)famous Men’s Rights activists, was a mainstay in the virtual pages of We Hunted the Mammoth.

Then the Men’s Rights movement in general, and Elam in particular, was upstaged by even more reprehensible misogynist movements from Gamergate to the alt-right. In 2016, having trouble raising money to keep his site and himself going, Elam naturally declared victory and announced he was retiring from the Men’s Rights activism industry.

In 2017, he unretired, but he’s never regained his former, er, glory. Still, he soldiers on. He continues to post videos on YouTube on his A Near for Men An Ear for Men channel. He offers $120 an hour “consulting” services via Skype to men on such subjects as “relationship issues” (he has no training as a therapist), “divorce strategies” (he’s not a lawyer) and “diabetes management” (he’s not a doctor). And he continues to share his “Red Pill” wisdom on Facebook and Twitter, the latter of which he’s returned to on a new account despite being permabanned some time ago.

So why am I even bringing him up? Well, I ran across this recent, uh, insight from him and I thought I should share it with you.

Paul Elam
Yesterday at 9:50 AM · 
#redpillrelationships What most men need to know, yet few do, is that the default setting for romantic relationships is abusive toward men. It places men in the role of vassal, serving m’lady’s needs, wants and whims with equal passion. Not in exchange for love, but for simply being tolerated. This is very hard for men to see early on but becomes very apparent with time.

MRAs claim to care about abused men, but don’t actually do anything to help them in any tangible way, like setting up hotlines or shelters. (The only shelter for men in the US was set up by a feminist Domestic Violence organization that MRAs once tried to defund.) Instead, MRAs post shit like this, conflating actual abusive behavior by women with, well, women expecting to be treated with a modicum of consideration by their male partners.

But of course “wisdom” like this resonates with Elam’s remaining fans.

Clark Sands And that, toleration we men mistake for love. Most of these women have no clue what love is.. A means to an end is, what we have become and when the end comes, Men lose! Sometimes their lives. Really listening to women before, you ever get involved and I mean, listen closely and she will reveal her true self quickly. With your help Paul, I am a different man today and how, I do three things every time, I meet women, Screen, Screen, Screen and It keeps me from ever walking down that road again. Shit, most of them. you have to put in the rear view mirror. It's a tough road trying to find a women who lives in objective reality and is stable and not an emotional reasoner. Crazy is everywhere! lmao
George D. Misoyianis I love all these so called strong women telling us how independent they are while at the same time they are reaching for our wallets. LOL
Trevor Binnall I stopped dating western women 7 years ago and have since then enjoyed beautiful mutually beneficial relationships with women who value me and treat me like a man. Currently i’m in Peru and have no complaints regarding the women here. Isn’t it sad that the most empowered and ‘liberated’ women on earth have the least amount of respect for men?
9
Hide or report this
LikeShow more reactions
 · 1d
Hide 15 Replies
Paul Elam
Paul Elam Yeah, they are empowered and liberated in their own pointed little heads. In reality, they are slaves to a victim identity. The only power they have is that which misguided, gynocentric men grant them.
Michael Mehalko If a female is interested she might put forth all the effort of placing herself in my proximity and thats about the extent of the effort. Dynamic change somewhat once i sleep with them but it seems there is nearly a motral sin in love and raomance in actually caring or worsre showing that i care. Amazing but i guess it all makes sense in the pure nature of sex. Funny how females get off when i dont give a shit but when i do they just sort of go limp (or stays) much like my dick does when theyre unattractive or overweight.

A veritable Algonquin Round Table here, huh?

I scrolled back a little on his Twitter, and found a couple more #RedPillRelationships pearls from ol’ Paul:

https://twitter.com/MraPsychic/status/1120213012026134528
https://twitter.com/MraPsychic/status/1121021373500088321

So thoughtful, so wise!

In case you’re wondering — I was — Elam’s A Voice for Men continues, though it’s not altogether clear who’s involved in running it these days. It squeezes out a few articles a week, which seem to consist of turgid exegeses of “gynocentrism” alternating with the sort of outrage-bait AVFM used to be semi-famous for.

Paul himself contributes from time to time. In February, for example, he wrote a 64-word post titled “A message to Democrats from Paul Elam and A Voice for Men” in which he declared that anyone voting for a Democrat is

literally voting for the murder of children. Given that, it is the editorial position of A Voice for Men that you should have been aborted, you degenerate Nazi fuck.

Other recent posts on the site have included such gems as:


And then there are all of … these.

I have no idea what’s going on with these, or why there are so many of them, but I don’t care enough to read any of them to find out.

So, big congratulations to Paul Elam and to A Voice for Men for continuing to exist, I guess, despite there being no real need for either or you.

We Hunted the Mammoth is independent and ad-free, and relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!

131 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Lainy
Lainy
3 years ago

This really annoys me because I talk a lot with men and boys who are in real abusive relationships with women. Men who do take slaps and punches from their girlfriend because they are much smaller then them and that some his makes it okay. One friend I’m trying to helps is with a woman that threatens to kill herself when he tries to turn the conversation to them breaking up. She has cut herself in front of him and told him if he breaks up with her and she kills herself it’s his fault. He’s a really sweet guy so obviously he doesn’t want that. I tell him time and time again it’s manipulation tatic and their relationship is mentally abusive towards him. I see things like this a lot so when people like Paul open their big mouths I get pissed because they are doing nothing to help actual abused men and boys who really so need some help.

Castrating Harpy
Castrating Harpy
3 years ago

I’m having a hard time reading the quoted comment posted by Clark Sands not because it’s misogynistic garbage but because, he puts commas, in weird, places making his, point difficult to, grasp.

Dafuq?

Also, I love that the robo-posted “articles” from AVFM have feminine-appearing bylines. Women must love that site for so many to write for it!

serrana
serrana
3 years ago

The next time I’m able to adopt a kitten, I think I’ll name her The Automatic Outgroup Derogation of Men. Thea, for short.

Anonymous
Anonymous
3 years ago

Lainy –

You make an excellent point. It is a symptom, I think, of the “victimization” of our society. No longer is it enough to claim (rightly or wrongly) that the social status in romantic relationships is *unfair* to men, or that this or that social practice is *wrong*. (I very much doubt it but it’s not the point) .

To have a claim for justice, men – like everyone else that days – must be seen as “victims” who were “abused” but somehow still are “survivors”, etc., etc.

As you point out, when everybody is a victim, nobody is; it might seem “caring” but the end result is that those who *really are* abused victims – those whose partner beats up and threatens – are ignored in the hubbub.

Ellesar
Ellesar
3 years ago

I have 2 grown sons and do have some thoughts about what could happen if they were to meet women who are prepared to exploit their good nature’s.

But the idea that they have no power is just ridiculous. They know what they want and don’t want and are hardly going to be doormats to anyone.

Neutral Good
Neutral Good
3 years ago

Not gonna lie, Feminist Clitoral Propaganda and the Politics of Bonking sounds like some nu-wave punk lesbian band’s first album. With the singles being Future Matriarchal Gynocracy, Feminist Zero Sum Game, and Automatic Outgroup Derogation.

casta
casta
3 years ago

Lainy says: “This really annoys me because I talk a lot with men and boys who are in real abusive relationships with women.”

Wow, really, a lot?? Not saying they don’t exist but who knew there were so many abusive women out there. Are you a therapist?

Lainy
Lainy
3 years ago

Casta

Reread. I said I talk a lot with men and boys. As in I speak with men and boys who are abused and talk with them quite frequently. There are far more abusive men then women out there and yes some of the abused men/boys I talk to are abuse by another man/ boy there in a relationship with. I’m not a therapist. I go to highschools/middleschools in my district ever year to talk to them about dating abuse and sexual abuse. I started this when I was 16, after my own rape. For a lot of teenage boys, it is the first time they are told that its not okay if their girlfriend hits them. That it is abusive if this happens. So when I have teenage boys that come up to me after my talks and ask if things like “my girlfriend doesn’t let me be friends with other girls, does that count?” and things like this its really sad. Also keep in mind I’m counting anyone 18 and older as a man. My friend who has the abusive relationship right now is 20 and quite naive when it comes to love.

Lainy
Lainy
3 years ago

I’ve talked about this here before. I started doing this after my own rape and abusive relationship.

Anonymous
Anonymous
3 years ago

Lainy’s not wrong. My best friend was engaged to a women who did the same thing.She would beat him ruthlessly( he showed me the bruises), and he was a sweet guy who wouldn’t attack a woman even to defend himself. When he got tired of the abuse( and her anger destroying all his friendships) and ended the engagement, she also would call and threaten to kill herself if he didn’t get back together.

Fortunately, my friend finally left her and is in a new relationship with a very nice woman. I feel happy for him.

Bina
3 years ago

Everytime AVFM says “Automatic Outgroup Derogation of Men”, a misogynist gets his boner.

Either that, or we’re all supposed to take a swig of whatever we happen to be drinking.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy

Good old Bettina Arndt, still peddling the same shite she’s been peddling for decades now.

Can anyone explain to me what the ‘logic’ is in the multiple posts on Officer Mohamed Noor? Obviously Elam et al perceive something relevant to men’s rights here, but I’m at a loss.
Is it just that he killed a white woman?

Anonymous
Anonymous
3 years ago

H’m – “women don’t want to be loved, they just want to be desired to boost their ego”.

1). I am shocked – SHOCKED! – to discover that women want to be desired by men and that this boosts their ego. Who ever heard of such a thing? The sluts!

2). “He just *desires* you, I *love* you, but you rejected for him to boost your ego” means, in practice, “he is your boyfriend, I’m the creepy stalker you’ve got a restraining order against”.

Lainy
Lainy
3 years ago

@ Anonymous and Jojo

I just hate this kind of stuff because there are actual abused men and boys out there. not Paul’s “if they don’t have sex with you it’s abused” bullshit but actually stuff. Men are more physical with abuse and will do far more damage then women abusers. Women abusers tend to use a lot more threats and mental abuse but it’s all horrible. No one deserves any type of abuse. I just thought this was an alright place to talk about men in actual abusive relationships.

Also I’m sorry because women abusers sounds weird but I really hate using male or female even though that might sound better. I don’t know, I don’t like to take away the humanity part of it.

Lainy
Lainy
3 years ago

@Anonymous

2). “He just *desires* you, I *love* you, but you rejected for him to boost your ego” means, in practice, “he is your boyfriend, I’m the creepy stalker you’ve got a restraining order against”.

Lol sugar, back ground music for my life right there. That was a good one.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
3 years ago

I had to laugh (sort of) at the copy-and-paste nature of so many of those titles.

Has anyone here read the Predictive Text Harry Potter (https://botnik.org/content/harry-potter.html)? Who here thinks Elam does the same think in all his articles, only with far less skill…or humour…

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

Harry Potter and the Automatic Outgroup Derogation of Men

…oh sorry, what? I was a little hypnotized by the repetitive article titles.

literally voting for the murder of children

Democrats aren’t the ones putting children in cages, forcibly ripping them from their parents, repealing child labor laws, and taking away access to clean air, clean water, health care, and nutritious school lunches. Real live actual children.

Anyone who views babies as a tool for punishing and controlling women forfeits any right to opine about the welfare of those babies.

Edit: ninja’d by Bookworm!

John
John
3 years ago

The really funny thing about this is that it’s a Red Pilled conclusion (not assumption, but conclusion) that this is “The Golden Age of the Alpha Male” exactly because there is so much fucking soy out there. No one gives a shit about beta men. Do you even lift, Paul?

John
John
3 years ago

@Lainy

Men are more physical with abuse and will do far more damage then women abusers.

Yep. It’s impossible for me to take physical abuse towards men from women seriously, exactly because of this. Of course, men are much more capable of all sorts of violence, including suicide.

That’s where “White Knights” come in. Consider (and I hate the term, and it’s not my lived experience) “divorce rape.” This is not something inflicted on men by women, this is something inflicted on men by other men on the behest of women.

The problem is that we do have a “will to vengeance.” See any superhero movie ever.

Anonymous
Anonymous
3 years ago

Neutral Good –

Not to mention, “the femoids”. If there is one thing good about incels / MGTOW movement, it’s that just about every deregatory term they have for women would make a *great* band name.

Reynard
Reynard
3 years ago

Sorry what the heck does “Algonquin Round Table” mean? I want to give you the benefit of the doubt but I’m kinda seriously side-eying that phrase.

Talonknife
Talonknife
3 years ago

Sometimes I think about the fact that my college career feels like I’m fooling academics with doctorates and decades of experience into thinking I have any idea at all what I’m talking about.

Then I read a Paul Elam post and realize I’m way more advanced at the concept of stringing together coherent thoughts and I suddenly feel much better.

Anonymous
Anonymous
3 years ago

Reynard –

The “Algonquin round table” was a set of literary wits (Dorothy Parker, Tellulah Bankhead, Franklin Pierce Adams, Alexander Wollcott, etc.) who would meet regularly in the Algonquin hotel in New York in the 30s and 40s.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy

The Algonquin Round Table was where Dorothy Sayers and friends used to lunch regularly. It’s become a synonym for razor sharp wit and intelligence.

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
3 years ago
1 2 3 6
%d bloggers like this: