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Nick Fury is shown washing dishes: The Top 5 Worst Male-Bashing Elements in Captain Marvel, according to some dingus

Lady Captain Marvel misandering in front of a dude

By David Futrelle

You’ve probably heard of the Christian movie review sites that rate whether or not the latest Hollywood offerings will be good wholesome fun for the entire (evangelical Christian) family, carefully cataloging each film’s unsavory elements, from beheadings to glimpses of nipple, and even how many times characters in movies take the Lord’s name in vain?

For example, did you know that the film Hereditary contains “20 f-words … Multiple uses of the s-word and ‘h—‘ [and] some 10 misuses of God’s and Jesus’ name?” Though somehow I doubt that swearing will be what most offends fundamentalist Christians watching the film.

Anyway, now there’s a site that seems to have decided to perform a similar service for the sort of fragile male comic book nerds who get mad when allegedly man-hating ladies star in movies about superheroes in spandex, small businesses specializing in ghost-capture, and wars in space (among the stars, as it were).

So let’s take a look at the Cosmic Book News review of Captain Marvel: The One With the Lady in It, which opened (big) this weekend.

Like an unfortunate number of fragile comic book dudes who think they speak for all fans, Cosmic Book News’ Editor in Chief Matt McGloin doesn’t much like the film — though to his credit he has actually seen it, unlike most of those who have decided largely based on their own hurt feelings that the film is the worst thing to ever hit cinemas.

“Overall, Captain Marvel comes off as a rather dull and lackluster movie,” McGloin writes.

[J]oining Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy and Waititi’s Thor: Ragnarok, it is another spit in the face of Marvel Cosmic fans.

Ah, yes, very helpful to cite that universally loathed cinematic disaster Guardians of the Galaxy, which somehow managed to garner a 91% critic score and a 92% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes (back before angry dudes started review-bombing every movie they saw as a crime against maleness).

The film is loaded with anti-male imagery, footage and dialogue, which is simply insulting as well as alienating (similar to Disney Star Wars).

Apparently he’s still mad about Laura Dern’s purple hair in The Last Jedi.

It felt as if there were two different drafts of the movie, an initial draft with the storyline, but a second draft was commissioned which saw the directors, Feige and the producers go over it with a fine tooth comb to add the feminist male-bashing elements, of which there were many that came off forced and completely out of place, like much of the movie.

Yes. I’m sure that’s exactly how it happened. You may not know this, but all Hollywood movie scripts these days go through a rigorous misandering process, including an extensive review by the Misandry Board, to ensure that they contain the requisite amount of male-bashing, before hitting the screen.

You may wonder what specific misandries are contained in Captain Marvel. Well, our helpful reviewer has provided a list, conveniently titled “Male-bashing elements in Captain Marvel” in large type in case you weren’t sure that’s what they were.

Here are what I would say are the Top Five male-bashing elements from his list.

Carol’s dad is mean to her. …

When Carol crashed into the Blockbuster, she blew the head off Arnold Schwarzenegger (a male) of the True Lies standee, not Jamie Lee Curtis (a female).

Carol is hit on and insulted by the motorcycle guy.

What is wrong with calling a girl a young lady? Talos calls Maria a young lady a couple of times, which she gets mad about. Huh?

And the most egregious misandering of all:

Nick Fury … is shown washing dishes.

I’m really not sure is the male gender will be able to survive such an assault.

Apparently, these egregious assaults on maleness aren’t the only things wrong with the film. McGloin also feels that Captain Marvel doesn’t smile enough, that Nick Fury lost his eye for the wrong reason, and that the music used for the film was too girl-powery or something.

No Doubt’s “Just A Girl” was awful and didn’t fit with the scene or footage. Certainly, if we are trying to push the “girl power” aspect of the movie even further, a better song could have been picked. It was so out of place and killed all the build up. A majority of the songs also felt out of place, as they too, were pushing an obvious agenda. 

Having not seen the film, I have no idea how well “Just a Girl” fits the scene it’s used in, but looking at the list of songs featured in the film I have to say that I am shocked that a film about a female superhero set in the 1990s contains numerous songs sung and sometimes also written and performed by women that were popular in the 1990s.

Be careful out there, fellas! You never know when or where you might be misandered. Not even the movie theaters are safe these days!

H/T — This tweet by @renfamous alerted me to the existence of this amazing review

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Minerva
Minerva
3 years ago

Well, I saw the movie last night. Tis good. Of course, the cat steals the show. Cats do that.

Fabe
Fabe
3 years ago

Also, I think what ticks MRAs off about Thor: Ragnarok is just that Thor is treated humorously. He’s manly and muscled and should be treated with all the respect and reverence that raw masculinity is due, and this movie makes fun of him! MISANDRY!

I mean, it’s not like the real mythological Thor ever had stories making fun of him. *cough*
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%9Erymskvi%C3%B0a

I now want to see that adapted into a short movie with Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
3 years ago

@ Alan Robertshaw, Kevin,
I remember the “inordinate fondness for beetles” line (though I can’t remember who said it originally); it gets quoted a lot chez us when the ladybugs return to the garden.

Weird Eddie,

“Great bleeding Christ on a bucket with a fucking tambourine!!!”

Wow. That…that’s a new one! *blink, blink*

?

@Scildfreja Unnyðnes, in the context, do you mean saying your name with the inflection of swear words was formative?! ?

dashapants
dashapants
3 years ago

@Contrapangloss

But what if the tiny dishwasher was built by a giant Peter Dinklage and powered by a quasar? Would it be manly enough for Nick Fury then?

Also, I echo the demand for Thrymskvida! to be made part of the MCU. I’d see it twice. With ALL my friends. And buy hard copy.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
3 years ago

Alan

Or maybe he just like ornithology? He did make a lot of birds.

Speaking of ornithology … not just off-topic but sideways and upside down. I want this so badly.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/11/science/wingspan-board-game-elizabeth-hargrave.html?action=click&module=Editors%20Picks&pgtype=Homepage

The only thing holding me back is waiting for the possibility of the Australian birds version.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
3 years ago

@Kevin:
Don’t feel sorry; if you hadn’t said that, I would have.

dashapants
dashapants
3 years ago

Here, I’ll even start it for them.

INT.177A BLEECKER ST, NYC – LATE NIGHT

THOR sits crying into the infinite beer mug as Doctor Strange’s cloak of levitation pats him on the back in sympathy.

THOR
I miss my old hammer. I miss my asshole brother. *hiccup*
This one time a giant, well, he liked to put about that he was
a giant, a bit of a misnomer as it turned out on our wedding
night, anyway, he nicked my Mjollnir. So Loki and I, we got up
as these two saucy wenches, and we got it back we did,
I tell you all about it, buddy flying towel…

BEGIN FLASHBACK

Kestrel
Kestrel
3 years ago

Did everyone see this? It includes a picture of Goose walking the red carpet in a collar and tie!

https://news.avclub.com/goose-the-cat-from-captain-marvel-is-the-star-of-a-ne-1833205576/amp

tim gueguen
3 years ago

If Captain Marvel had featured a Jamie Lee Curtis standee losing its head they’d be complaining it was some sort of attack on “real” women or something like that.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

@bookworm, that was formative too, but unrelated 😉

Kevin
Kevin
3 years ago

@ Bookworm in hijab

It seems to have been scientist JBS Haldane, on being asked his take on the mind of God, due to the estimated 400,000 existing species of beetles.

Catalpa
Catalpa
3 years ago

saying insh’allah (roughly “if god wills it”) after “see ya at work tomorrow” might imply more concern by the diety about out minor comings and goings than is reasonable…

Eh, technically “goodbye” is a contraction of “god be with ye”, so I think that’s a fairly standard parting sentiment, or at least it was when modern-ish English was forming.

Leliel
Leliel
3 years ago

@ Burning Witch

I like how you seem to be able to decide what is misogynist or not through psionic power, given you have obviously not actually seen the movie, and concern trolling.

1. This is proof you haven’t actually seen more than, oh, half? Possibly the first ten minutes? Why would be spoilers, but I don’t think they needed to condemn colonialism verbally when the film does that for them. Also that she never actually works for the US, she and the military just find themselves with a common goal and split afterwards. Like normal people.

2. & 3. So sorry that the filmmakers have different opinions than you, and that your gender essentialism isn’t catered to. Wait, no I’m not. Gender essentialism is infinitely worse, since it says that women can’t actually defend themselves or chose certain careers and still be women. They must be homemakers, or doctors, or counselors, or basically anything that isn’t active. All the more convenient for the male warriors who get to have an entire gender do all the things that are “too unmanly” for them. Or have any agency. I know this is true, all the TERFs say so!

4. Ah, so it’s literally impossible for a male to talk about women without getting his reverse cooties on it. You literally cannot just let a woman take the lead, and ask females for their advice, or basically do anything that indicates self-awareness about being a male trying to write a woman in a world where all women writing women is sadly still unfeasible for big budget, REVERSE COOOTIEEEES!

5. I have some very bad news about the computer you’re using then, if this completely tangential thing that nobody in the movie or watching it can affect, is the most serious thing. Better get off of it. Better stop watching any feminist movies, it’ll just fund the makers to go off and power the capitalist machine with their new money by buying food.

Malitia
Malitia
3 years ago

What’s with the random/accidental communism of the “Who Do You Do Fellow SJWs!” anti-Captain Marvel trolls? (Not just Burning Witch. In the last week or so I came across several (butt ugly) memes also making that argument.)

Onager
Onager
3 years ago

I’m disappointed as Cosmic Comic News has been a good source of news about some of my favourite parts of the DCU and MCU. However, I’ve clearly not kept a close enough eye on them because I’d have ignored the site once I’d seen that they hated GotG and Thor: Ragnarok, some of my favourite Marvel movies.

I mean anyone who posts the following on the Internet is clearly beyond the self-parody event horizon:

I’ve said it before, these movies are not aimed at comic fans

Dalillama
Dalillama
3 years ago

@Malitia
I’m guessing it’s a “How do you do, fellow kids” thing. Nazis trying to pretend to be SJWs with SJW reasons why the film is bad, but they don’t actually understand why SJWs do or say anything and aren’t very good at it. Or they’re TERFs, who are basically crypto-nazis ar this point.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
3 years ago

So IDK about the movie, but the first volume of Kelly DeConnick’s comic does kind of deal with colonialism and empire. Not in an in-depth way, and it still lets Captain Marvel play the savior a bit, but not before demonstrating her complicity in what happened.

I do question a bunch of the narrative decisions, but hey, this is that magical thing where you can enjoy and respect a work while still critiquing it… right? RIGHT?

Anyway I’d personally recommend DeConnick’s other comic Pretty Deadly, which has women finding their freedom and men being held accountable for their shit on a bunch of levels. And the art by Emma Rios is fucking incredible.

/nerd

Anyway… hi again all. Sorry I vanished, stuff here got too stressful and also I had surgery. I’m okay now, though still kind of taking it easy.

octopod
octopod
3 years ago

So, uh. When a female character is mean to a male character, that’s misandry, but when a male character is mean to a female character, that’s also misandry?

Anonymous
Anonymous
3 years ago

Part of the problem is that the “mature”, “strong” men of the manosphere seem to treat comic books as if they were holy religious texts. Their mental age seems about 14 concerning anything, not just women.

Hans Verbeek
Hans Verbeek
3 years ago

I think these things are part of the reasons why I enjoyed the movie so much.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
3 years ago

@Bookworm in hijab:

“Great bleeding Christ on a bucket with a fucking tambourine!!!”

Wow. That…that’s a new one! *blink, blink*

Especially since we all know Ama-no-Uzume did it first. 😉

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