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Nick Fury is shown washing dishes: The Top 5 Worst Male-Bashing Elements in Captain Marvel, according to some dingus

Lady Captain Marvel misandering in front of a dude

By David Futrelle

You’ve probably heard of the Christian movie review sites that rate whether or not the latest Hollywood offerings will be good wholesome fun for the entire (evangelical Christian) family, carefully cataloging each film’s unsavory elements, from beheadings to glimpses of nipple, and even how many times characters in movies take the Lord’s name in vain?

For example, did you know that the film Hereditary contains “20 f-words … Multiple uses of the s-word and ‘h—‘ [and] some 10 misuses of God’s and Jesus’ name?” Though somehow I doubt that swearing will be what most offends fundamentalist Christians watching the film.

Anyway, now there’s a site that seems to have decided to perform a similar service for the sort of fragile male comic book nerds who get mad when allegedly man-hating ladies star in movies about superheroes in spandex, small businesses specializing in ghost-capture, and wars in space (among the stars, as it were).

So let’s take a look at the Cosmic Book News review of Captain Marvel: The One With the Lady in It, which opened (big) this weekend.

Like an unfortunate number of fragile comic book dudes who think they speak for all fans, Cosmic Book News’ Editor in Chief Matt McGloin doesn’t much like the film — though to his credit he has actually seen it, unlike most of those who have decided largely based on their own hurt feelings that the film is the worst thing to ever hit cinemas.

“Overall, Captain Marvel comes off as a rather dull and lackluster movie,” McGloin writes.

[J]oining Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy and Waititi’s Thor: Ragnarok, it is another spit in the face of Marvel Cosmic fans.

Ah, yes, very helpful to cite that universally loathed cinematic disaster Guardians of the Galaxy, which somehow managed to garner a 91% critic score and a 92% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes (back before angry dudes started review-bombing every movie they saw as a crime against maleness).

The film is loaded with anti-male imagery, footage and dialogue, which is simply insulting as well as alienating (similar to Disney Star Wars).

Apparently he’s still mad about Laura Dern’s purple hair in The Last Jedi.

It felt as if there were two different drafts of the movie, an initial draft with the storyline, but a second draft was commissioned which saw the directors, Feige and the producers go over it with a fine tooth comb to add the feminist male-bashing elements, of which there were many that came off forced and completely out of place, like much of the movie.

Yes. I’m sure that’s exactly how it happened. You may not know this, but all Hollywood movie scripts these days go through a rigorous misandering process, including an extensive review by the Misandry Board, to ensure that they contain the requisite amount of male-bashing, before hitting the screen.

You may wonder what specific misandries are contained in Captain Marvel. Well, our helpful reviewer has provided a list, conveniently titled “Male-bashing elements in Captain Marvel” in large type in case you weren’t sure that’s what they were.

Here are what I would say are the Top Five male-bashing elements from his list.

Carol’s dad is mean to her. …

When Carol crashed into the Blockbuster, she blew the head off Arnold Schwarzenegger (a male) of the True Lies standee, not Jamie Lee Curtis (a female).

Carol is hit on and insulted by the motorcycle guy.

What is wrong with calling a girl a young lady? Talos calls Maria a young lady a couple of times, which she gets mad about. Huh?

And the most egregious misandering of all:

Nick Fury … is shown washing dishes.

I’m really not sure is the male gender will be able to survive such an assault.

Apparently, these egregious assaults on maleness aren’t the only things wrong with the film. McGloin also feels that Captain Marvel doesn’t smile enough, that Nick Fury lost his eye for the wrong reason, and that the music used for the film was too girl-powery or something.

No Doubt’s “Just A Girl” was awful and didn’t fit with the scene or footage. Certainly, if we are trying to push the “girl power” aspect of the movie even further, a better song could have been picked. It was so out of place and killed all the build up. A majority of the songs also felt out of place, as they too, were pushing an obvious agenda. 

Having not seen the film, I have no idea how well “Just a Girl” fits the scene it’s used in, but looking at the list of songs featured in the film I have to say that I am shocked that a film about a female superhero set in the 1990s contains numerous songs sung and sometimes also written and performed by women that were popular in the 1990s.

Be careful out there, fellas! You never know when or where you might be misandered. Not even the movie theaters are safe these days!

H/T — This tweet by @renfamous alerted me to the existence of this amazing review

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Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
3 years ago

I haven’t seen the film and am unlikely to, as I have no great interest in superhero movies, but I do love the still used in this article.

Goatee Guy: “OY! I was manspreading here!”

Longish-Hair Guy in the door: “I kinda want to compliment her ass, but her hair looks a bit manky, and she might beat me up…”

Artistic-Beret Dude with Beard in the back: “I… I have seen the Lord (who turns out to be a lady).”

Mother Theresa in the lower-right corner: “Don’t mind me, I’m just Mother Theresa riding the subway.”

Christopher Crosby
Christopher Crosby
3 years ago

I love reading posts like this.
Women are becoming polyandrous because there aren’t enough normal men to go around. Men Going Without….More for Betas and Sigmas.
Chads needing a rest.

Fujimoto
Fujimoto
3 years ago

I’m going to see Captain Marvel. Looking forward to it!

I’ve seen reactionaries hate Thor: Ragnarok but I’m not sure why. The one’s I’ve seen complain about it were vague about what got them so angry.

ephemerides
ephemerides
3 years ago

I mean “Just a Girl” did seem a tad out of place in that scene (though it worked in another way—killed the dramatic tension, but it made the scene *fun*. I’m just not sure which one was the intended effect), but I was distracted throughout by the fact that the entire soundtrack is basically the contents of my mp3 player, so the immersion was already broken for me.

I was born in 1983 and this movie is my jam.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Nick Fury … is shown washing dishes.

Excuse me? Samuel L. Fucking Jackson’s man-credentials aren’t threatened by a bit of washing up!

Erin
Erin
3 years ago

“Just a Girl” was perfect for the scene and has a context behind the choice (no spoiler) but lyrically, the song is written from the perspective of a girl who is frustrated with her parents (Gwen wrote it). The soundtrack of the movie has a sarcastic vibe, such as Carol’s mood.

Contrapangloss
Contrapangloss
3 years ago

Odd, now I want to see it even more. Go figure.

Also, how do they think single men deal with dishes? Buy new ones every week so they don’t have to (gasp) do dishes?

Like, washing dishes is a life skill and isn’t all that shocking. Nick Fury has enough problems; he doesn’t need to add food poisoning from reusing dishes for all eternity without ever hitting them up with a sponge and suds to his list of “things/people out to kill me”, so I’m baffled about the problem, there.

Unless getting food poisoning is the new “do you even lift, bro” manliness indicator of manly men.

“Do you even Listeria, dude?”

Podkayne Lives
Podkayne Lives
3 years ago

Women are becoming polyandrous because there aren’t enough normal men to go around.

Citation very much needed.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

The feminist global new world order got to Samuel Jackson before this though. He also cleaned out a litter box to help a women win a seat in congress.

So much misandry!

LindsayIrene
3 years ago

Okay, they hate Guardians Of The Galaxy because James Gunn was vocally anti-Trump before Mike Cernovitch and his minions drove him off social media, but what is their issue with Thor: Ragnarok? Hulk’s bare butt? Valkyrie holding a cannon like it’s her dick?

Kestrel
Kestrel
3 years ago

My husband took time off work on Friday afternoon so we could go and see Captain Marvel. I really enjoyed it. I didn’t think it was as good as Black Panther but it is definitely in my top 5 Marvel movies.

I really identified with Carol. I am about her age. I wanted to be a Navy pilot after watching Top Gun. Captain Marvel is what I wish I could have grown up to be.

Finally, I loved the fight with I’m just a girl playing in the background!

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@LindsayIrene
Hope this works
comment image

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
3 years ago

As for Samuel L. Jackson, how do they deal with A Time to Kill? On the one hand, man defending his wimmin! Good guy with a gun! SJW Sandra Bullock gets what’s coming to her! Woo, ‘Murica!

On the other hand, black guy shoots white rapists and gets off. Leader of Klan gets set on fire. Black and white people end up fraternizing. SJW Sandra Bullock is on the side of the good guy with a gun.

I imagine it must make their heads implode.

Viscaria
Viscaria
3 years ago

Hey there @Christopher Crosby

I love reading posts like this.

Hey, me too! Can’t wait to read your thoughts about its content.

Women are becoming polyandrous

Okay, I guess we’re talking about a completely different thing.

You think the incidence of women being sexually or romantically involved with several men is on the rise? Any stats to back that up?

because there aren’t enough normal men to go around.

What’s a normal man, and does he like comic book movies?

Men Going Without….More for Betas and Sigmas.

I know what bettas are (beautiful tails) but you’ll have to help me out with sigmas. What are those?

Chads needing a rest.

Aw. We all need a rest sometimes. You tell Chad he should put his feet up for a bit.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Viscaria
I believe it’s a camera lens, but not sure the relevance to Mr. Fury.

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Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
3 years ago

@Viscaria

I think @Christopher Crosby may have been being sarcastic.

Poe’s Law being what it is, I checked to see whether he’d ever commented before, which gave me this and this.

I don’t entirely get the joke, but currently I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Specialffrog
Specialffrog
3 years ago

LindsayIrene: there is the idea of empires whitewashing their history and not wanting to acknowledge the source of their wealth. There is also the Grandmaster wanting to call his enslaved gladiators ‘prisoners with jobs’ instead of slaves. Plus the happy ending is the Asgardian refugees heading to Earth.

Mind you, these may be too subtle for this reviewer. Maybe it’s just Taika Waititi’s anti-racism commercial from a few years back.

Aaron
Aaron
3 years ago

Speaking of Nick Fury, that was some amazing de-aging CGI. I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen that done well until now.

The movie itself was kind of meh, but goddamn that was some good de-aging CGI.

JessicaRed
JessicaRed
3 years ago

Side note: I’ve never understood Christians who think “God” is the “Lord’s name”. It’s not a name, it’s a word for the kind of thing he is, a title (for example, David’s name is not interchangeable with “Blogger”, just because he runs this blog). And we’ll put aside completely the fact that “Jesus” was not a historical name, especially with the hard J which didn’t even exist in any of the relevant languages.

I always read the “don’t take the Lord’s name in vain” thing as “don’t pray frivolously”, i.e. don’t call upon the Lord to give you stuff or do stuff for you that you can do yourself, especially if it’s not important, or is purely selfish.

Bakunin
Bakunin
3 years ago

@Kupo
?
I’ll be in my bunk.

Flora
Flora
3 years ago

I’m an 85 baby and god damn did I feel pandered to in ALL the right ways by this movie. I asked my husband as we were leaving the theatre: “is this what nerdy guys have been getting all these years out of these movies??” It was no Black Panther, but it was fun.

I’m Just A Girl was perfect for the tone.

Kestrel
Kestrel
3 years ago

Looks like the “boycott” is going so well. What about the lack of straight white male role models. Won’t anyone think of the men! /S

https://www.boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=4493&p=.htm

Dalillama
Dalillama
3 years ago

Carol’s dad is mean to her. …

He is? I just got back from watching it and I don’t recall that.

Count me on the side says the soundtrack was integrated into the movie notably better than in Guardians of the Galaxy, and indeed this film was superior to that one in all respects. It was no Black Panther, but that’s a high bar to clear.

MrsObedMarsh
MrsObedMarsh
3 years ago

The use of “Just A Girl” in an otherwise dramatic scene is bathos – the undercutting of a sublime moment with a ridiculous or trivial beat. Marvel Cinematic Universe films have had a lot of bathos ever since the first Avengers movie broke box office records and studio executives figured out that Whedonesque ironic humor sells lots of tickets in this day and age. Now, you can legitimately argue that intentional bathos hurts the quality of the MCU films by undermining what should be important dramatic moments – and a lot of people have – but it doesn’t seem to have made the movies unpopular and it’s definitely not misandry. This guy’s just nitpicking in the service of his agenda.

Emily
Emily
3 years ago

“Nick fury is seen washing dishes” is supposed to be a bad thing? Isn’t part of ‘masculinity’ being able to provide for yourself? Or is someone only a real man if their house is a pig’s sty? I will never understand these people.

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