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Reddit dickheads are losing it over the new “tiny dick” emoji

By David Futrelle

The Unicode Consortium — the mysterious cabal in charge of the world’s emojis — is adding several hundred new emojis this year, including a bunch catering to the disabled (e.g., a guide dog, an ear with a hearing aid in it, a variety of wheelchairs) and others celebrating everything from falafel to sloths.

But one particular emoji in the new set is causing a bit of a stir: the “pinched hand,” officially designated as a symbol for a “small amount” — but which many have taken to mean “a small amount of penis.” Indeed, a post on Vice welcomed the pinched hand as

an emoji that’s perfect for easily humiliating men when they’re being disgusting online or, you know, being men.

Not everyone is so thrilled. On Reddit, angry dudes in an assortment of man-centric subreddits are protesting what they see as a deliberate attempt by the alleged SJWs of the Unicode Consortium to mock some of the world’s most sensitive men. (They’re also not too keen on the Vice article.)

The most common response from the mangry mob? To call for a new “big vagina” emoji they can send to women. “When’s the ‘cavernous vagina’ emoji coming out?” demanded one Redditor in the Jordan Peterson subreddit.

In the Braincels subreddit — Reddit’s main incel forum — one man put some of the blame for the emoji on supposedly “sissified” men. “270 ’emo’ icons,” he wrote,

yet not a single one to signify an overused vagina to serve as an analogous complement to the small penis

wonder why the double standard?

could it be that american “men” are sissified wimps who have accepted their place underneath the bottom of the totem pole?

Other vagina-obsessed Reddit dudes wondered why there was no emoji they could use to embarrass slutty women by mocking the flappy, roast-beef-like labia they are convinced every woman develops if she sleeps with more than a handful of men over her lifetime.

“[W]e need a roast beef flap emoji,” insisted one incel Redditor, winning himself more than two dozen upvotes for his important contribution to the debate. (Never mind that bitter incels were sending pictures of roast beef sandwiches to women online long before the “tiny dick” emoji was a thing; I know feminist writers and activists who’ve gotten dozen if not hundreds of the things.)

Mangry Redditors also lamented how unfair the new emoji is to the world’s small-dicked men, who apparently deserve the gold medal in the Oppression Olympics. “Men with small penises have no social voice or leverage,” wrote one apparent member of this oppressed minority in the Men’s Rights subreddit.

This is why ppl/society can say anydamnthing to and about us and it’s never viewed as “wrong”

Some lamented what they saw as a body-shaming double-standard. “I never understood this,” one perplexed Men’s Rights Redditor confessed,

it’s okay to mock a man for the size of his penis, despite the fact that he has literally no control over it, but it’s not okay to mock a woman for being a slut when that’s 100% her own decision.

In the Braincels subreddit, the regulars were even angrier about not being allowed to mock women’s physical appearance, despite the fact the dudes on the Braincels subreddit do this every day, all day long. As one incel put it:

Funny how the only things men get body shamed about are things we can’t change (face, height and dick) but women literally just have to not be fat.

Another incel Redditor added a rhetorical suicide threat to his complaint:

I’m gonna fucking hang myself, no woman would ever come close to being made fun of like this for anything they can’t control. It’s so fucking unfair, I just happen to exist with a small dick so I guess I deserve to be made fun of by everyone.

No one would ever praise the existence of a small boob emoji, because a hand symbol for it doesn’t even fucking exist.

If being shamed for having a small dick makes you feel like dying, dude, might I suggest unsubscribing to the Braincel subreddit? No one talks shit about small dicks more than incels. Nowhere else but in incel forums have I seen dudes redefine “small dick” to mean anything less than 8 inches long. Nowhere have I seen more resistance to women telling insecure men that they really don’t care much about dick size and that in fact it can be painful to have large penises inserted in your body.

There were the inevitable laments about Chad and his allegedly huge dick. The “tiny dick emoji” isn’t mocking all men, one Reddit incel insisted.

its mocking unattractive men with small dics. big dick chad and tyrone aint bein mocked here. misandry is code for anti-ugly male.

One Men’s Rights Redditor insisted that the fact that some women are looking forward to having an emoji to send to dudes who fill up their inboxes with unsolicited dick pics means that women in general lack even the most basic understanding of honorable behavior:

Remember, women never learned what honor is. This is straight up hate. They never get taught what honor is. Honorable men don’t go for the weakest spots. They also don’t call people fragile for rightfully being hurt by meanspirited comments about those weakest spots.

Another Men’s Rights Redditor responded to this comment with an even more unbelievably ignorant one:

I can’t actually think of a time in history where women were openly slagged off and insulted by men just for being women.

Uh, how about RIGHT NOW. In the MEN’S RIGHTS SUBREDDIT. In the VERY COMMENT YOU’RE RESPONDING TO.

Also, you might want to consider THE ENTIRE REST OF HUMAN HISTORY.

Naturally more than a few of the angriest men threatened — oh, sorry, warned — that women using the new emoji should expect a furious reaction from the men they send it to. (As if women aren’t already well aware that men often lash out over the tiniest slights.)

A Jordan Peterson fan spelled out his “warning” in ponderous detail:

Once you mock someone, you better have your shit straight, because in my mind that is an invitation for me to make fun of your looks. You think men are insecure about their penis? yeah, not as much as women are about their weight, face, hair, etc.

Gosh, ladies, men might call you fat! I bet you never saw that coming!

This will just be devastating to anyone that uses it due to opening themselves to backlash from men who are amicable until provoked.

“Amicable until provoked” … by a tiny picture of pinching fingers.

I hold back insults because I truly do not wish to harm someone psychologically, and I’m not sure why these women would seek to do it, but if they do it to someone who hasn’t done anything to deserve it they are open to getting owned.

This Men’s Rights Redditor was a bit blunter:

I can guarantuee this emoji will cause more murders than the real gun emoji (the one that they had to replace with the water gun) ever could

But the most, er, imaginative response of all to the new emoji came from the Braincels subreddit from several Redditors who have convinced themselves that the new emoji might so enrage men that they collectively decide to put an end to feminism altogether.

“The small dick emoji is just what we need,” wrote an incel calling himself whilefalling

I predict this will be a tipping point for men. It will wake up an entire generation of young men to the blackpill, and it will enrage men to the point where they can’t take it anymore.

I predict a surge of interest in men’s rights/anti-feminism. I predict a surge of men coming out as incels. I predict a surge of ‘misogynist’ insults on social media websites such as Twitter. Call my dick small? I’ll call you a slut. I’ll say your breasts are small. These insults will become more socially acceptable, as a blowback to female misandry.

Gynocentrism can only last for so long. Men are angry, and they’re about to get really angry.

An incel called JucheforWhitePeople seconded that emotion:

This emoji just might be the kind of acceleratioism that we need.

Yes, let’s encourage these thots to be as hypergamous and bitchy as possible. Encourage them to openly say that all short and small-dicked men should die. Let them be as racist as they can to ethnics.

An entire generation of men is going to be blackpilled by the excesses of their toxic femininity. Their copes and hollow platitudes will only fall on deaf ears after that.

Men will stand up and inevitably put an end to feminism. There will be no going back when even the cucks can longer defend what foids are doing.

I hate to break it to you, dude, but angry men have been raging against feminism from the moment it was born, and feminism has survived. The “pinching finger” emoji isn’t going to bring millions of angry dudes to the barricades to overthrow feminism and bring about The Republic of Gilead on earth.

I have mixed feelings about the “tiny dick” emoji myself. On the one hand, it does stigmatize those with small penises, who really don’t deserve this petty form of body shaming.

On the other hand, IT’S JUST A FUCKING EMOJI and I’m guessing that the overwhelming majority of those who get it sent to them will be 1) dudes with roughly average-sized penises who’ve sent pictures of these penises to women who never asked for them or 2) the sort of dudes who go around calling women “foids” to their face.

Also, the emoji can be used for other things. like indicating to someone that that you’re CRUSHING THEIR HEAD.

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Nicholas C Kiddle
Nicholas C Kiddle
3 years ago

I like how they think “small dick” and “huge vagina” are parallel when it’s men who worry about small dicks and … also men who worry about huge vaginas.

Jane Done
Jane Done
3 years ago

“Honor” is what insecure men call their feelings because calling their feelings “feelings” hurts their feelings.

I see the right wing is still fervently clinging to the “many dicks once make loose but one dick many times doesn’t because BIOtRUfThSSsthpbbbbbh?”

Let them be as racist as they can

I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name

JucheforWhitePeople

Classy

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
3 years ago

MRAs: “What kind of world are were building in which a man can’t send an unsolicited dick pic without fear of ridicule?! BALTNAT MISNADRY!!11”

(Meanwhile, reports flood in of people worldwide losing their eyeballs rolling clean out of their heads & under the fridge)

Speaking of, I can’t wait for the MRA peanut (peener?) gallery to weigh in on the Jeff Bezos dick pic scandal /s

Allandrel
Allandrel
3 years ago

“Honorable men don’t go for the weakest spots. They also don’t call people fragile for rightfully being hurt by meanspirited comments about those weakest spots. ”

I love that this is coming from the same people who constantly call others “snowflakes” for being upset by hate speech. Does he realize that he just declared himself and all his fellows dishonorable?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

“Women just have no concept of HONOR.”

It’s not like the good old days, when every time he sent an unsolicited dick pic to a stranger, a majestic eagle landed on his keyboard and draped a flag over his screen, while F-14s flew in formation overhead and a Marine squadron solemnly raised their swords in salute.

Now women might make him feel bad for harassing them, and where’s the honor in that?

Kevin
Kevin
3 years ago

@ David

Good pun in your headline here.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
3 years ago

misandry is code for anti-ugly male

As a pedant, I’m offended by this incel maladaptation of the white supremacist slogan “anti-racist is code for anti-white”. It should be either

“feminist is code for anti-male”

or more topically

“anti-incel is code for look-shaming men”

Get your reactionary bullshit sound smart, and live up to Braincels’ founding idea!

theluckyfrog
theluckyfrog
3 years ago

While I’m not one to complain about an occasional throwaway joke of pretty much any nature, I have to say that I really dislike the continued acceptability of small penis jokes as a way to actually argue and deal with men. When I think of all the decent-to-iffy men I know, the idea of reducing them to the size of their sexual organs is icky beyond belief. When I think of the few bad men I’ve come across, reducing them to the size of their sexual organs misses the actual nature of the problem by so much that it’s not remotely funny. Even if you only use the “small penis” emoji to respond to guys who send dick picks, you’re helping reinforce their perception that the world revolves around said dicks. And that’s all leaving out the fact that it IS pretty weird for the progressive set to get super hyper about the implications of almost all insults, with the single exception of men with micropenises/other genital anomalies (not really an imaginary or even a negligible problem).

footprints in wet clay
footprints in wet clay
3 years ago

Hmm. If I ever intended to insult someone for their actual dick size, which I don’t do partly because I’m a transmale that doesn’t intend to get bottom surgery and therefore doesn’t have a dick at all, I’d use the pinky finger gesture version.

This one is my “I’m fantasizing about pinching your ignorant, jerky little head between my fingers and squashing it like a grape” gesture, and that’s still highly applicable to these guys.

Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Green Hash Pronoun Boner
3 years ago

@Specialffrog: I thought of the same thing!

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
3 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants:

“Women just have no concept of HONOR.”

Did anyone else imagine a bunch of guys standing around in Klingon cosplay saying this? And not good Klingon cosplay either– like, just Milky Way bars smushed onto their foreheads and stuff.

It’s not like the good old days, when every time he sent an unsolicited dick pic to a stranger, a majestic eagle landed on his keyboard and draped a flag over his screen, while F-14s flew in formation overhead and a Marine squadron solemnly raised their swords in salute.

???

Moose
Moose
3 years ago

I’m being attacked today for saying that body shaming incels and mocking someone for having a (real or not) small penis is inappropriate. Nobody should be body shamed, and nobody “deserves it” for whatever reason you conjure.

If you can’t find some way to insult incels without shaming their body, you’re not really trying, are you? Body shaming is easy. Why not insult them for what they say instead?

More importantly, that emoji has nothing to do with a small penis. Talk about projecting your insecurities…

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Moose
Who is attacking you?

Red R. Lion
Red R. Lion
3 years ago

Ugh, since my earlier video didn’t embed, it was “Short DickShort Man” by 20 fingers. Released in 1995.

Catchy song, but VERY objectifying of men. Which…. I think is the point, given how hip hop videos were in the 90s.

(Which is incidentally also the last time I watched MTV, so I don’t know how the younguns are now. ::chases kids off the lawn::)

Red R. Lion
Red R. Lion
3 years ago

Ugh, since my earlier video didn’t embed, it was “Short DickShort Man” by 20 fingers. Released in 1995.

Catchy song, but VERY objectifying of men. Which…. I think is the point, given how hip hop videos were in the 90s.

(Which is incidentally also the last time I watched MTV, so I don’t know how the younguns are now. ::chases kids off the lawn::)

Bina
3 years ago

Hooboy…I sense a need for some tough love here…

yet not a single one to signify an overused vagina to serve as an analogous complement to the small penis

wonder why the double standard?

could it be that american “men” are sissified wimps who have accepted their place underneath the bottom of the totem pole?

Orrrrrr maybe it’s because these oh-so-ironic incels-with-an-inferiority-complex-so-bad-they-can’t-even-capitalize just gotta make shit up about a mythical “overused vagina”. Which doesn’t actually EXIST, much less resemble roast beef. Because how else to justify their repulsiveness to humanity in general, and reframe said repulsive personality as disdain for perfectly fine women who simply aren’t having their nonsense? Just a random guess.

Funny how the only things men get body shamed about are things we can’t change (face, height and dick) but women literally just have to not be fat.

That’s fucking rich, considering how many women who are not the least bit fat still get body-shamed by men like this…as being, you guessed it, FAT.

I’m gonna fucking hang myself, no woman would ever come close to being made fun of like this for anything they can’t control.

Oh please, drama llama, pull the other one. I can remember being razzed mercilessly for any and all of the following: Nearsightedness (requiring glasses from the ripe old age of 8), frizzy red hair, pale skin that couldn’t tan if my life depended on it, big hips, a butt out to THERE, boobs too small in proportion to said hips and butt, and CELLULITE. There was no hiding any of those things. And I still have trust issues now, in my fifties, for things that happened in middle school because of my appearance, which was sure as shit beyond my control.

Whereas you, you self-pitying mope, have only to keep it in your pants, and no one will be the wiser about your one little pysical shortcoming. Honestly, your dick won’t get made fun of unless you whip it out and wave it. Why the fuck are you waving it on the internet???

No one would ever praise the existence of a small boob emoji, because a hand symbol for it doesn’t even fucking exist.

(snort) Again…drama llama, PLEASE. For someone whose mind is stuck in pubertal self-pity mode, you are remarkably obtuse about the myriad ways immature boys denigrate girls who aren’t as developed. I can think of several, but I shan’t model them here, because that dudebro shit doesn’t deserve to be commemorated in any way, shape, or form.

Anyway, what makes you (any of you, in general) think you’re entitled to a well-endowed woman? Just because you have a penis, however unimpressive that sucker is? Hah. Because from where I sit, it’s your sulky, pouty, over-the-top self-pitying attitude that frankly deserves to be ignored by the pendulous and the flat-chested alike.

Remember, women never learned what honor is. This is straight up hate. They never get taught what honor is. Honorable men don’t go for the weakest spots. They also don’t call people fragile for rightfully being hurt by meanspirited comments about those weakest spots.

Fine talk about honor from a man who clearly has no idea what it is, either. Or IRONY, come to that.

And seriously: If your teeny wienie is your “weakest spot”, you’re actually doing quite all right. There are plenty of modestly endowed men who aren’t cluttering the incel boards moaning about it, because they’re too busy living life, improving their minds, and learning how to please and satisfy women in other ways. Maybe you should worry more about your fragile ego and your perpetual need to see misandry and oppression of (I’m guessing white) males where no such things exist. Because from where I sit, those are pretty glaring weaknesses. And they are also 100% fixable.

But they won’t just fix themselves. You require an attitude adjustment in the worst way, dude, so get on it.

I can’t actually think of a time in history where women were openly slagged off and insulted by men just for being women.

Dude, you could actually have stopped that sentence at “think” and you’d have described yourself perfectly in a nutshell. Instead, you just had to go and make a further fool of yourself by showing how very little you know of history. Do you have any idea how many women’s ideas were stolen and taken credit for by MEN? No, because you fucking slept through history class.

And you probably have the same disdain for Women’s Studies as do all the myriads of other men who could have done with a little historical corrective on that front. Do yourself a favor and take a remedial course, pronto.

Better still, take two.

Once you mock someone, you better have your shit straight, because in my mind that is an invitation for me to make fun of your looks. You think men are insecure about their penis? yeah, not as much as women are about their weight, face, hair, etc.

Yeah, and there’s a reason for that. See above. I never saw any of those guys’ dicks (and certainly didn’t want to), so I couldn’t very well have made fun of anything. But that didn’t stop them from showing me their whole pimply asses, metaphorically speaking.

How about YOU get your shit straight instead, and stop taking offence at harmless hand gestures that, for all you know, have nothing to do with your teensy todger, and EVERYTHING to do with your very small, very narrow MIND? You know, “sticks and stones”, and all that other stuff you keep gaslighting bullied women and girls with? Apply that to YOURSELF for a change, bubba gump.

This will just be devastating to anyone that uses it due to opening themselves to backlash from men who are amicable until provoked.

Oh, trust me, fucko…if I use that gesture on the likes of you, it sure as shit won’t be because you were “amicable” to me. It will be because I was the one being provoked.

By your goddamn fucking willful stupidity, fucko.

I hold back insults because I truly do not wish to harm someone psychologically, and I’m not sure why these women would seek to do it, but if they do it to someone who hasn’t done anything to deserve it they are open to getting owned.

“Owned”? By an incel? Please. You bozos can’t even own your mistakes. One of which was writing the above, thus showing your deplorable shortage…of self-awareness.

I can guarantuee this emoji will cause more murders than the real gun emoji (the one that they had to replace with the water gun) ever could

I can guarantee (note correct spelling) that it will NOT. Emojis can’t cause murders; MURDERERS are the only thing that can. And if you don’t want to become one, best work on your self-awareness…and getting out of that crab bucket you posted in.

I predict this will be a tipping point for men. It will wake up an entire generation of young men to the blackpill, and it will enrage men to the point where they can’t take it anymore.

I predict it won’t. Most of them are already laughing at you for your hyperbolic self-pitying wankery. You want to take a real dose of something that will help you? Get some castor oil down you and lose that blackpill garbage you just ate. You’ll feel a whole lot better, son.

Men are angry, and they’re about to get really angry.

They’re angry about a whole lotta NOTHING. They even have to make up silly words (like “gynocentrism”) that mean nothing, just to show what they’re angry at. Nobody takes that shit seriously. Who cares how much angrier they’re gonna get at imagined slights? Not me, that’s for sure. I’ve lived too long with real sexism already, and I’m just bored and tired of it.

Wake me up when you’re done with it too, ‘kay?

footprints in wet clay
footprints in wet clay
3 years ago
Rei Malebario
Rei Malebario
3 years ago

This has made me wonder whether I can post emoji here in these comments? Let’s put it to the test!

? <- Test monkey – if there's a monkey here, I can post emoji – or emojis. Whatever.

Edit: Woot! Monkey!

Rei Malebario
Rei Malebario
3 years ago

Also, I completely failed to notice that several previous comments actually did contain emojis. D’oh! That’s how used I’ve gotten to seeing them as a part of text, I guess.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
3 years ago

OT, but just a warning that MRAs are probably going to latch onto this soon. Just so everyone’s prepared. https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2019/feb/11/spare-innocent-men-anguish-india-ruling-aims-to-end-false-claims

Ariblester
3 years ago

@Rabid Rabbit

MRAs are probably going to latch onto this soon.

You’re probably right, and it won’t make a whit of difference to them that

A) this is happening in India, which has different sexual mores than the West, or that

B) this is clearly the fault of patriarchy, which the article itself points out (although it takes quite a few paragraphs to raise that point…)

[S]uch cases reflect the premium put on a woman’s chastity by a very patriarchal society – no unmarried woman can be seen to be sexually active outside marriage […]

Because it will just feed into their (absolutely incorrect) narrative that rape accusations are consistently weaponized by women to “destroy” men.

occasional reader
occasional reader
3 years ago

Could this be an indicator of their temper … ?
But immediately associate this picture to penis is quite weird. Speak about obsessions…
I do not know if it is a universal symbol for “small amount”, but i think it is a bit contextual. When someone uses it while saying “There is this thickness of dust on the shells”, is it not a “quite bigger than expected quantity” ?

Cindy
Cindy
3 years ago

Cue whining from small-dick men in 3… 2…

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
3 years ago

Well, for me that emoji is the ‘it was THIS close’ sign.

As in ‘the car was THIS close to hitting me’.

Well, my reaction to dick picks is: ‘Does your skin always look like that?’ followed by ‘It’s probably nothing, but get that looked at by a doctor. Better safe than sorry!’

As for body shaming…

It’s not cool, yeah. But the vast majority of people I’ve encountered making fun of small dicks were other men.

And for pleasing women the circumference of the dick is more important than the length…

Ariblester
3 years ago

Don’t mind me; i’m testing out a userscript that will hopefully make commenting easier.

Rei Malebario
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2019/02/09/reddit-dickheads-are-losing-it-over-the-new-tiny-dick-emoji/comment-page-1/#comment-2464835
February 11, 2019 at 2:11 am
This has made me wonder whether I can post emoji here in these comments? Let’s put it to the test!
<- Test monkey – if there’s a monkey here, I can post emoji – or emojis. Whatever.
Edit: Woot! Monkey!

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