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Horses, Carrots, Hospital Visits and 15 Other Often Overlooked Red Pill Red Flags

Face it, dudes! There's no way you can compete with this.
Face it, dudes! There’s no way you can compete with this.

It’s tough to be a Red Piller, apparently. I mean, once a man has mastered the fine art of Red Pillery, he quickly becomes so irresistable to the HB7’s through HB9’s of the world that he needs advice on which of these lovely ladies deserve to be treated to Long Term Relationships (LTR’s) and which deserve only to be plated.

Happily, the good fellows on the Ask The Red Pill subreddit have made this tedious sorting procedure much easier and more scientific, providing numerous examples of “red flags” that men should watch out for in the ladies they’re dating.

Some of their advice is fairly standard relationship advice: avoid manipulative or abusive women, as manipulation and abuse are only ok when Red Pill dudes do them. Other “red flags” are standard Red Pill bugbears like tattoos (never ok for women); dyed hair (it’s only ok to dye hair if you’re, say, a well-known Red Piller with scary grey hairs sprouting in your beard); antidepressants (getting treatment for depression is apparently a terrible thing); and of course getting fat.

But. as a public service, I thought I would share some of the more, well, unique “red flags” that should instantly disqualify women as LTR material. If nothing else, this should be a useful list for any woman who would like to know some simple things they can do to repel Red Pill dudes.

So here, in the words of assorted Red Pillers, are the Top 18 Often Overlooked Red Pill Red Flags for men seeking long-term relationships. If any of the following are true, your potential special lady is actually a filthy whore only good for sex.

1) She uses birth control

2) She has a “squeaky 5 year old voice”

3) She went to law school

4) She has “many bins of chopped carrots in fridge”

5) She doesn’t wear dresses “without being commanded to”

6) She owns a dog

7) She owns a horse

8) She’s named Tiffany

9) Her mom is fat

10) She’s two years older than you

11) She “wants to wear [a] slutty bikini to music festival”

12) She had sex with more dudes before you than she told you she did, which you discovered by going through old messages on her phone without her permission

13) She had sex with a number of football players during her freshman year in college, which you discovered by going through her old Facebook posts without her permission, and also the football players were black dudes

14) She has gay friends, because they’ll tell her “you go girl” if she has sex with a cute guy in a bathroom

15) She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse

16) She’s “more social than you. Because sluts and whores crave attention above all, they tend to be heavily involved in social events, parties, get togethers and just overall more outgoing than you.”

17) She previously worked at a flight attendant

18) She “frequently [goes] to the hospital and has family with a history of health issues”

So there you are!

There is, of course. a much shorter Red Pill Red Flag list for women considering a long-term relationship with a guy. There is only one item on this list.

  1. He gets dating advice from the Red Pill subreddit (or any other Red Pill site)

In a future post I will look in more detail at several of these Red Pill Red Flags.

Sources: The first six in the list come from Red Piller abdada, a frequent maker of red flag lists, in comments here here, and here, The rest are linked directly to their sources on the Ask The Red Pill subreddit.

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Scildfreja
Scildfreja
6 years ago

I’m glad you’re doing well, Bonelady! That’s great to hear. Good for you 🙂

The dogs thing makes sense that way too. Dogs take up valuable affection that might otherwise be directed at him. These people have no empathy. Blegh.

Orion
6 years ago

The “two years older” bit is actually pretty reasonable in context. If you read the thread, it’s not some guy saying “never date someone older than you are.” It’s a 24-year old man currently dating a woman but worried whether they’ll work out long term. Among the “cons,” he lists “she’s 26 and likely to want kids and marriage before I do.”

One shouldn’t assume that any random 26 year old woman must be desperate to have the babies. But since he actually has been dating this woman seriously I’m assuming they’ve discussed this and he knows that she specifically does want to have children in the near future.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

I’m pretty sure this list discounts every woman over the age of 18 on planet Earth – and that’s not even accounting for their usual “Supermodel or better” attractiveness requirements, which’d leave the entire Subreddit with negative numbers of women to split amongst themselves.

This is a good thing. *thumbs up*

sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
6 years ago

I’m honestly baffled by the fridge carrots thing. Does it mean to them that she eats healthy and might expect him to do it too? What’s wrong with that? Apart from the fact that carrot sticks are seen as a “girl thing” (which is a feature of night terrors for these guys), how will she remain the Red Pill Required Weight of 100 pounds or less if she doesn’t eat healthy?

iknklast
iknklast
6 years ago

Even if several items on this list didn’t disqualify me from accidentally dating a red-piller (does broccoli count? I have more of that in my fridge than carrots) – overweight, over 50, and over 9th grade education (I didn’t study law; will science do as a disqualifier) – I can’t imagine that I would find any of these whiny juveniles to be even a fraction, a millionth, as attractive as my loving librarian husband who willingly dusts and does the dishes, because he feels the house is for both of us. And on top of that, while my husband doesn’t like vegetables himself, he is not on a vendetta against them and has no grumbles unless my carrot sticks should accidentally fall into his peanut butter.

They may call him a beta-male all they wish; both of us just laugh and dismiss their disdain as envy because we realize that a long-term relationship is about much more than just hot sex.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

She had sex with a number of football players during her freshman year in college, which you discovered by going through her old Facebook posts without her permission, and also the football players were black dudes

If I’ve never had sex with a football-playing black dude but have had sex with a soccer-playing black woman, do I get half a misandry point or double misandry points?

(Apologies for the TMI, but thinking about this made me laugh.)

Orion
6 years ago

I fail to see how [snip] serves as a red flag; or the weight of her mother for that matter.

Not a demographer or biologist, but I believe this one is rational. Horrible, but rational. Weight gain in adulthood appears to be a matter of biology as much as habit, and while recent research suggest that it’s not all genetic biology — intestinal flora seem to be important — as far as I know genes are important. If you are terrified that your partner might gain weight, checking her parents’ weight would actually help predict how likely that is.

When I say “WTF” in response to this one, I’m genuinely puzzled. I’ve known air stewards, they’re genuinely the most overworked and stressed people in the entire world, and their work gives them messed-up sleep patterns too. Are the red pill deciding to be courteous by declaring them off-limits, or what?

It’s a stereotype that airline crews in general hook up a lot because they’re often stranded in unfamiliar cities at odd hours and thus have nothing better to do with their time. Flight attendants in particular are thought to be promiscuous because they work with pilots, who are well known to sex gods, and because only sluts would take jobs where they have wear uniforms and be nice to strangers.

I don’t think most gay men particularly care how, where or with whom their female cohorts are having casual sex.

That’s actually what the poster says. He throws in the “you go, girl” comment as a joke/exaggeration but he says explicitly that he’s afraid gay men won’t judge and shaman a woman’s behavior. Actually, he says gay men won’t care if a woman cheats on her boyfriend. I’m pretty sure he’s mistaken about that. [quote] I wound up with sexuality as one of my Asperger’s-related areas of interest. (That can happen, right? I can’t be the only Asperger’s-person that’s happened to.)[/quote]You’re not.

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
6 years ago

double misandry! lesbian miscegenation! not making white babies for entitled ubermensch! independent thought! So terrible!

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
6 years ago

“I’m also hoping to get on antidepressants.”

Admitely, I hope you won’t need them. And if you do, that it will be for as few time as possible.

(I do have a very bad experience with antidepressant and sleep pills)

Lady_Zombie
Lady_Zombie
6 years ago

I suppose if I had to guess the rationale behind the carrot thing, it’s probably because if she had lots of carrot sticks in her fridge, that means she probably only buys healthy foods which means she won’t be keeping tasty junk food in stock for his enjoyment. So again, it just comes down to entitlement.

“SHE SHOULD PROVIDE ME WITH SNACKS WHEN I’M OVER AT HER PLACE GLARING AT HER DOG!”

Honestly, what an entitled pissbaby.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
6 years ago

This list makes me want to buy carrots, get a dog, go to law school, and add a few more gay friends to my circle.

Bina
6 years ago

1) She uses birth control

This is a problem WHY? Aren’t these guys always afraid of being spermjacked/spermburgled/forced to raise someone else’s kid unawares? Dudes, she’s just being prepared. Like they teach you in Scouts, y’know?

2) She has a “squeaky 5 year old voice”

Which might be a problem if she’s actually five years old, because at that age, they never stop talking. But again: Aren’t these guys all about Teh Youth, and all its youthful manifestations? Don’t they like girls with high-pitched voices? If she had a Diamanda Galás contralto, she’d scare the piss out of them! (Which might not be such a bad thing either, except maybe for her shoes.)

3) She went to law school

Yes, heaven forfend that she should be well educated. Especially in point of law. Or that she should make more money than you, and possibly also while helping battered women divorce their abusive husbands. Or sue them for child support. Your penis shall never rise again!

4) She has “many bins of chopped carrots in fridge”

Oh noes, healthy snacks! Or stuff ready for stir-frying! Which is also healthy! Health-conscious women are Teh Debil!!!

Srsly, though: Don’t these guys WANT health-conscious women who eat a lot of raw veggies and stay slim? What is their problem with all this?

5) She doesn’t wear dresses “without being commanded to”

Oh noes, practicality and comfort, every man’s worst nightmares! And what’s this “commanded” shit? You don’t give her orders, bucko. She’s not a fucking dog.

6) She owns a dog

7) She owns a horse

The dog because it could bite you (on her command), and the horse because it could kick you (ditto)? Or are you afraid she secretly has sex with them?

Any guy who’d reject a woman on these grounds probably deserves to be bitten and kicked.

8) She’s named Tiffany

Literally what? Just because her parents named her after their favorite make of stained-glass lamp? Picky, picky.

9) Her mom is fat

Are you also planning on schtupping her mom? Why is this even important to you?

10) She’s two years older than you

Oh dears. My sister is five years older than her husband. My brother is also a couple of years younger than his wife. And I myself have dated more younger men than older ones, and frankly prefer them younger; more respectful, less controlling, and also CUTER. If this is what it takes to scare off a Red Pillock, I’m cool with it.

11) She “wants to wear [a] slutty bikini to music festival”

Yes, heaven forfend that she should dress comfortably for the sticky summer weather! Only sluts do that!

12) She had sex with more dudes before you than she told you she did, which you discovered by going through old messages on her phone without her permission

Snooping is a good way to get yourself kicked to the curb as an untrustworthy, controlling jackass, dude. And what if, like me, she doesn’t have a cellphone? Whatever will you do to spy on her then?

13) She had sex with a number of football players during her freshman year in college, which you discovered by going through her old Facebook posts without her permission, and also the football players were black dudes

Does this ever actually happen? Or is this just another of their humiliation fantasies, cleverly coded?

14) She has gay friends, because they’ll tell her “you go girl” if she has sex with a cute guy in a bathroom

Again: Does this ever actually happen? Because I have lots of LGBT friends, and I don’t have sex in bathrooms. Nor do I brag about my exploits, nor do they high-five me for them. We’re all adults and boring as fuck, dude.

15) She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse

Because then she’s not a virgin, and worse yet, Daddy got there first, amirite? And of course, DAMAGED GOODS.

(This is in direct conflict with the OTHER Red Pillocks, who think sex-abuse survivors are good to hit on because no boundaries and other sickening shit like that.)

16) She’s “more social than you. Because sluts and whores crave attention above all, they tend to be heavily involved in social events, parties, get togethers and just overall more outgoing than you.”

Oh noes, social competition! And other men as a yardstick to measure you against! However will Precious Snowflake cope?

17) She previously worked at a flight attendant

Because handing out packets of salted nuts and bottled water at 30,000 feet is sooooo slutty. And so is cleaning up all the well-used barf bags and scrubbing all the toilets after a particularly turbulent trip.

18) She “frequently [goes] to the hospital and has family with a history of health issues”

Because eugenics. And because these guys are obviously such prime physical specimens themselves, eh?

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

On the carrots thing, I have a theory: it could be bunnies!

If she has bunnies, and chops carrots for them, she definitely won’t be paying you enough attention!

Orion
6 years ago

unless my carrot sticks should accidentally fall into his peanut butter.

“Accidentally,” huh? Pull the other one, it’s got bells on.

Why is this in quotes? I mean, the meaning is pretty obvious (she’s a whoooore) but quotes? why?

It was not in quotes in the red pill original. David has put in quotes because he is quoting it.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
6 years ago

@ Lady_Zombie

Oooh! Oooh! Or maybe he’s upset because when she makes him stir-fry, she buys pre-cut carrots and therefore he can’t judge her knifework, plus she’s a LAZY cook for buying pre-cut carrots.

That reminds me … it’s been a while since I made lettuce wraps. It may be time for that again.

ThatBear
ThatBear
6 years ago

I like how the defining characteristic of a slut is “wanting attention,” but it’s totally acceptable for a RP dood to get jealous of the attention showered on his girlfriend’s dog.

DS
DS
6 years ago

These kids are always so obsessed with the thought that every attractive woman is somehow a size queen looking for the so-called “Chaf Thundercock”. Thing is, several studies have confirmed that the average vaginal length is 9.6cm with a range from about 6.5cm to about 12.4cm. That’s in the 4-6 inch range.

Yes, there are probably some women who enjoy having their cervix bludgeoned by the head of a penis, but when you actually read stories from guys with these fetishistically-long penises, you realize they can’t ever get the whole thing in a woman and that they often hurt their partners if they aren’t careful.

Ass such, I don’t understand the insecurity of these cats. Sex is fairly hard to mess up: locate nerve bundles in genitalia, stimulate, repeat. Keep at it in a manner your partners is keen on and you’ll be keeping the Kleenex brand in business in no time flat!

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

Bina:

The dog because it could bite you (on her command), and the horse because it could kick you (ditto)?

Well, dogs can get jealous, and of course tend to be protective, so I suppose there could be a risk there, even without her telling the dog to attack you. If you mistreat her, the dog will pick up on this. But, horses? They’re generally not kept around the house, and pretty easy to avoid. If you go to her apartment, and there she is, just hanging out on the couch with her horse, sure, that’s a red flag.

DS
DS
6 years ago

Bina, you had me at Diamanda Galas. Come, let us ride into the sunset together to the tune of Littanies of Satan. <3 hehe

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

Diamanda Galas scared the crap out of me with Plague Mass. Not exactly easy listening.

Ashara Payne
Ashara Payne
6 years ago

I think the carrot sticks may be a variant of the idea of ‘cool girl’ in ‘gone girl’: she has to be a size 2 but still eat burgers and fries and drink beer. Carrot sticks in the fridge is a well-known dieting advice for hunger pangs. Better to eat ice cream or chocolate bars because if she can do that and stay thin she’s less likely to ever get fat. It’s like all those nasty wimmin who want someone ripped but don’t like them staring in the mirror constantly or at the gym all the time. Effortless perfection. It’s not good enough to work at looking good, it’s got to be natural and something she doesn’t think about.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

@ moggie

just hanging out on the couch with her horse, sure, that’s a red flag.

But if the horse isn’t on the couch and just stood behind, that’s ok yeah? (Otherwise I might have to rethink a hand-binding)

Chaos-Engineer
Chaos-Engineer
6 years ago

#4 might make sense. I think the key is that there are many bins of chopped carrots in the fridge. One or even two plastic tupperware containers of pre-chopped carrot slices for snacking is understandable. But it’s a bit of a red flag if the refrigerator filled to bursting with bin after bin after bin of carrots, with two lonely bottles of carrot juice crammed into the back somewhere. I don’t know if I’d end an otherwise-good relationship over just that, but I’d try to encourage my partner to maybe eat some celery every once in a while.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

But, horses? They’re generally not kept around the house, and pretty easy to avoid. If you go to her apartment, and there she is, just hanging out on the couch with her horse, sure, that’s a red flag.

http://i.imgur.com/72yJtuw.jpg

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