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Horses, Carrots, Hospital Visits and 15 Other Often Overlooked Red Pill Red Flags

Face it, dudes! There's no way you can compete with this.
Face it, dudes! There’s no way you can compete with this.

It’s tough to be a Red Piller, apparently. I mean, once a man has mastered the fine art of Red Pillery, he quickly becomes so irresistable to the HB7’s through HB9’s of the world that he needs advice on which of these lovely ladies deserve to be treated to Long Term Relationships (LTR’s) and which deserve only to be plated.

Happily, the good fellows on the Ask The Red Pill subreddit have made this tedious sorting procedure much easier and more scientific, providing numerous examples of “red flags” that men should watch out for in the ladies they’re dating.

Some of their advice is fairly standard relationship advice: avoid manipulative or abusive women, as manipulation and abuse are only ok when Red Pill dudes do them. Other “red flags” are standard Red Pill bugbears like tattoos (never ok for women); dyed hair (it’s only ok to dye hair if you’re, say, a well-known Red Piller with scary grey hairs sprouting in your beard); antidepressants (getting treatment for depression is apparently a terrible thing); and of course getting fat.

But. as a public service, I thought I would share some of the more, well, unique “red flags” that should instantly disqualify women as LTR material. If nothing else, this should be a useful list for any woman who would like to know some simple things they can do to repel Red Pill dudes.

So here, in the words of assorted Red Pillers, are the Top 18 Often Overlooked Red Pill Red Flags for men seeking long-term relationships. If any of the following are true, your potential special lady is actually a filthy whore only good for sex.

1) She uses birth control

2) She has a “squeaky 5 year old voice”

3) She went to law school

4) She has “many bins of chopped carrots in fridge”

5) She doesn’t wear dresses “without being commanded to”

6) She owns a dog

7) She owns a horse

8) She’s named Tiffany

9) Her mom is fat

10) She’s two years older than you

11) She “wants to wear [a] slutty bikini to music festival”

12) She had sex with more dudes before you than she told you she did, which you discovered by going through old messages on her phone without her permission

13) She had sex with a number of football players during her freshman year in college, which you discovered by going through her old Facebook posts without her permission, and also the football players were black dudes

14) She has gay friends, because they’ll tell her “you go girl” if she has sex with a cute guy in a bathroom

15) She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse

16) She’s “more social than you. Because sluts and whores crave attention above all, they tend to be heavily involved in social events, parties, get togethers and just overall more outgoing than you.”

17) She previously worked at a flight attendant

18) She “frequently [goes] to the hospital and has family with a history of health issues”

So there you are!

There is, of course. a much shorter Red Pill Red Flag list for women considering a long-term relationship with a guy. There is only one item on this list.

  1. He gets dating advice from the Red Pill subreddit (or any other Red Pill site)

In a future post I will look in more detail at several of these Red Pill Red Flags.

Sources: The first six in the list come from Red Piller abdada, a frequent maker of red flag lists, in comments here here, and here, The rest are linked directly to their sources on the Ask The Red Pill subreddit.

145 replies on “Horses, Carrots, Hospital Visits and 15 Other Often Overlooked Red Pill Red Flags”

“My girl will think I have no faults.
That I’m a major find.”

“Uhh, How ’bout a girl who’s got a brain,
Who always speaks her mind?”

NAH!!!

So how many of these anti-requirements do I have to meet, bare minimum, before these Red Pill turnips leave me alone entirely? Because I fit five or six of those things, depending on the age of the Pillock in question, and I’m planning on the tattoos and dyed hair for good measure. I’m also hoping to get on antidepressants.

I mean, these are all terrible, but

1) She uses birth control

You’re planning on having potentially procreative sex with these women, yes? You’re probably going to want to use some form of birth control. Birth control is your friend.

I’m guessing this is a specific reference to hormonal BC pills, because red pill dudes have no idea how the pill works and think the only reason a person would take it on a regular basis is because they’re having sex every single day. Which is a) not at all how the pill is used and b) wouldn’t be a big deal even if it was true, except if you’re an insecure douchebag who’s worried you won’t measure up to her previous partners.

Edit: Also the pill takes about 3 months of regular use to be fully effective. Something tells me these dudes would not be okay with being asked to wait 3 months into a relationship before having sex.

It’s almost as if they are projecting their own insecurity on women “being whores”. If anyone ever comes up with a pill for that, I hope they dye it red.

I keep thinking that they can’t possibly become more ridiculous. Then they do.

P.S. And Fred (the dog) is extremely happy to help his human companion stay off the Red Pill radar.

Great checklist for which men to avoid:

1. He doesn’t understand how birth control works.

2. He gets annoyed with your voice before he’s even met you.

3. He’s afraid of well educated women.

4. He’s afraid of vegetables.

5. He thinks he can command you to wear certain types of clothes.

6. He hates animals.

7. He really hates animals.

8. He’s still raging over his ex girlfriend, Tiffany.

9. He’s checking out your mom.

10. He’s a numerologist (???).

11. He calls you a slut.

12. He’s extremely insecure and obsesses over your ex partners. He also goes through your private texts.

13. He also goes through your private facebook messages. And he’s afraid of black people.

14. He’s afraid of gay guys, and also of cute guys.

15. He’s a victim blamer.

16. He wants to isolate you from your friends.

17. He’s afraid of flight attendants (???).

18. Hospitals give him nightmares.

Actually, 18 is not that bad. It’s a little bit cute. But the other 17 are bad.

No horses?!

https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/4/26/883389__safe_fluttershy_animated_cute_adorable_tanks+for+the+memories_spoiler-colon-s05e05_blinking.gif

Sweet fancy Moses, this list sure is a mixed bag of stereotypes, ignorance and straight-up eugenics. Make sure you check her teeth before you buy her, boys! That way her sneaky makeup won’t trick you.

Petal – I had a guy friend for a short while who hated all vegetables. He was quite the bro, and literally ate nothing but bread and fried chicken. I convinced him to eat watermelon once and he was *amazed* that it actually tasted good. I think that a fear of vegetables sort of goes with the bro territory.

Ok, so 2 years older than you is out, but it sounds like 3 or more is just fine.

Also, how does one work at a flight attendant? And what’s wrong with carrots?

Sadly, while being fat does immediately repel most of them, some will still unfortunately give you a chance, which leads to awkward dates where they neg you and whine about their ex, then get angry at you for things that they could have found out on your dating profile, like owning cats. This list is very helpful; just make sure to bring these all up in conversation before meeting in person.

Today we’re going to look at different implied meanings that the term “WTF” can have.

17) She previously worked at a flight attendant

When I say “WTF” in response to this one, I’m genuinely puzzled. I’ve known air stewards, they’re genuinely the most overworked and stressed people in the entire world, and their work gives them messed-up sleep patterns too. Are the red pill deciding to be courteous by declaring them off-limits, or what?

1) She uses birth control

When I say “WTF” in response to this one, I’m simply flabbergasted. In the modern day world, almost every woman I’ve known has used birth control, even if only to make their cycle more regular.

8) She’s named Tiffany

When I say “WTF” here, I’m mocking him. Does he not know that after the Ebonics laws of 2008 were passed, every woman in the western world was forcibly renamed Tiffany?

15) She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse

When I say “WTF” here, it’s because I’m really quite angry. How dare anyone suggest that this is somehow a stain on someone’s character, or that they’re somehow impure or undesirable because of it?

I do not often swear. However, I find that sometimes it is necessary to do so.

Fuck whomever said this. Fuck him in whatever dickshitting, horse-fellating hole the pusillanimous wretch crawled out of. I hope his crabs catch crabs.

The “2 years older” thing is silly beans, as most women (well, humans in general) have advanced in emotional maturity since their toddler days, unlike Red Pillers. This already creates an unrepairable gap between any potential couple.

P.S. And Fred (the dog) is extremely happy to help his human companion stay off the Red Pill radar.

Dogs of the world unite!

In case my dyed hair and amount of fat tissue haven’t done the trick, I bet my furry companion will put off anyone with RP tendencies.
(Although I am not in the headspace for worrying about ‘future candidates’ because freshly in love with someone amazing! Gahh!)

Uh… What’s wrong with the name Tiffany? Or carrots? And why specifically dogs or horses? I get the (ridiculous) logic behind the other points, but this is just silly.
Well, at least now I know of foolproof ways to repel terpers!

She has gay friends, because they’ll tell her “you go girl” if she has sex with a cute guy in a bathroom

I don’t think most gay men particularly care how, where or with whom their female cohorts are having casual sex. I’m an exception to that, but I think I wound up with sexuality as one of my Asperger’s-related areas of interest.

Imaginary Petal inspired me to deconstruct these. Ima put on my douche hat.

1) She uses birth control

Ohmigod she has sex. I mean, y’know, like I do. With other people. All the time amirite guyse.

2) She has a “squeaky 5 year old voice”

a.k.a. she’s a girly-girl princess who wants everything given to her? Unlike douchebros who built civilization and totally hunted the mammoth for you.

3) She went to law school

She knows what her rights are and will be capable of prosecuting rapists.

4) She has “many bins of chopped carrots in fridge”

I … honestly have no idea on this one. She will be able to see better in the dark?

5) She doesn’t wear dresses “without being commanded to”

Totally not traditionally submissive and 1950’s housewife enough.

6) She owns a dog

Apparently a dog can only be a man’s best friend.

7) She owns a horse

Princess is not allowed to have her pony!

8) She’s named Tiffany

Uhh… I mean, I know that the name is sort of a stereotype for blonde valley girl, but… really guys? You do know that stereotypes are bullshit, right? Especially when they’re *names*.

9) Her mom is fat

Eugenicccssssss

10) She’s two years older than you

Oddly specific about that one. Can’t have a woman who thinks she might have gathered more life-wisdom, though. She needs to know her place.

11) She “wants to wear [a] slutty bikini to music festival”

Why is this in quotes? I mean, the meaning is pretty obvious (she’s a whoooore) but quotes? why?

12) She had sex with more dudes before you than she told you she did, which you discovered by going through old messages on her phone without her permission

Lying whoooooore

13) She had sex with a number of football players during her freshman year in college, which you discovered by going through her old Facebook posts without her permission, and also the football players were black dudes

Lol. These guys and their paranoid fantasies. She had sex with the football team, and she is totally hiding it from you. Oh and also they’re all black.

14) She has gay friends, because they’ll tell her “you go girl” if she has sex with a cute guy in a bathroom

(I don’t know any gay guys who would actually do this. This one is especially stupid)

15) She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse

A real manly man doesn’t have any broken toys. He breaks toys and then steals new ones.

16) She’s “more social than you. Because sluts and whores crave attention above all, they tend to be heavily involved in social events, parties, get togethers and just overall more outgoing than you.”

She can’t have any interests beyond pleasing your boner and making you sammiches.

17) She previously worked at a flight attendant

She adventured the world! Whooooore

18) She “frequently [goes] to the hospital and has family with a history of health issues”

Straight-up eugenics.

Eugh. These guys. Six year olds.

She has gay friends, because they’ll tell her “you go girl” if she has sex with a cute guy in a bathroom

I don’t think most gay men particularly care how, where or with whom their female cohorts are having casual sex. I’m an exception to that, but I think I wound up with sexuality as one of my Asperger’s-related areas of interest.

(That can happen, right? I can’t be the only Asperger’s-person that’s happened to.)

Hi all!

I just finished chopping some carrots for my horse and putting them in the fridge to cool, and I wanted to quickly comment before I go off to hospital to see my mom (she’s had a history of health issues which have caused problems losing weight) and have my birth control prescription filled, and then am going out to a party tonight with some of my gay friends that I met when I was working as a flight attendant. I’m not sure whether or not to wear a dress, I don’t usually wear them without being ordered to. I might just wear a bikini – it’s a bit slutty but you only live once!

I hope the party goes well. DeShaun, Tyrone and Tyreese are great guys, I dated them in my first year of law school and we’re still excellent friends. It sometimes means that when I date guys who’re two years younger than me I have to avoid telling them in order to avoid them being suspicious, but you know how it is. I hope there won’t be karaoke – I have a really squeaky voice and I sound like a five year old when singing.

Anyway, I see that this dude doesn’t want to date me. That’s absolutely fine – I’m sure he’ll have tons of other girls clamoring to date him!

Oh, ugh. The horse and dog thing. Another interpretation may be that horrible recent emergence from the manosphere in which it was “revealed” that all women totally have sex with dogs. I bet that’s what this douchebag means. grossssss

I *think* I fit enough of these criteria that I would be excluded. I’m also over 30 (*gasp*), so I’ve passed the wall any way. I don’t have any ink yet (only because I chose an “un-tattooable” image unless I want it really big) and I do need to re-dye my hair (I have to wait because I have special event next week where purple hair would probably be considered inappropriate). I guess I have to hope that the one bag of carrot sticks in my fridge is enough to protect me.

@Scildfreja
I imagined David put the quote marks because those were direct quotations from the terpers, while the rest was explained in his own words.

I clicked Dave’s links to see if there was any context to the carrots thing and… nope. I suppose it’s just so obvious why carrot preparation is evil that abdada felt explaining further would be a waste of time.

I did find this great comment, not from abdada himself, cosigning and expanding upon the NO DOGS edict:

The dog is her “baby”, a substitute for a human baby. The dog gets all, ALL, her attention. Dogs are more expensive than other pets in terms of vet charges and kenneling. If she goes away for a weekend she has to kennel the dog and has to plan and budget for it.
Hassle; expensive; gets more attention than you.

Planning and budgeting, women’s greatest vice! And also wah wah stop playing with the dog all of your attention belongs to me.

So cats, hamsters, ferrets and birds are okay? Weird. Where does having had a hysterectomy lie on their scale, I wonder? On the one hand, no birth control, but on the other, no offspring. Is that last good or bad? (Had the hysterectomy 2 weeks ago today, and doing fine, so as not to worry anyone.) Sorry if this is a little strange – I have too much time on my hands right now…

I fail to see how “having many bins of chopped carrots in the fridge” serves as a red flag; or the weight of her mother for that matter. So a woman likes to eat carrots, maybe this is a warning that she’ll be turning orange in hue in the future? Is there something I’m missing?

These would indeed be massive red flags – if any potential partner was bothered by them I’d run a mile.

Especially 16 – don’t for goodness sake allow the little lady to stay in touch with her friends! Isolate, isolate, isolate! Only then can you control.

Control her present, control her body, control her mind.You can’t actually control her past but you can sure as hell resent her and punish her for it.

I wonder if some of these dudes don’t even resent their blow-up sex dolls for what they’ve previously done to them.

@ bonelady – glad you’re healing well. I was quite relieved when the menopause took care of matters for me, even though my childlessness is not voluntary.

@ dreadnought – isn’t this a garbled folk memory of the Oscar Wilde dictum about “every woman turns into her mother: that is her tragedy”? Forgetting the corollary “No man turns into his mother: that is his tragedy”.

Fortunately it’s also bolleaux, otherwise I’d be a Thatcherite who thinks feminists are only complaining because they couldn’t find a wealthy man, and that no woman needs to be able to drive, when there should always be a man to give her a lift…

The dog is her “baby”, a substitute for a human baby. The dog gets all, ALL, her attention. Dogs are more expensive than other pets in terms of vet charges and kenneling. If she goes away for a weekend she has to kennel the dog and has to plan and budget for it.
Hassle; expensive; gets more attention than you.

Does this mean I should be worried about my boyfriend’s cat? He does usually hire someone to watch the cat while he is away and this cat has allergies which require special food and medications (pills and a spray; fun times with that). It is a pretty awesome cat, (a Siamese from a purebred rescue place) so he’s definitely worth the extra effort.

Seriously, though, this line really irks me:

The dog gets all, ALL, her attention

Oh, no! She’s paying attention to something that isn’t you! Her entire world doesn’t revolve around making you (or your boner) happy. The entitlement here is just astounding. I don’t think it could be clearer that this guy doesn’t want a human being. He wants a fantasy to cater to his every whim and is surprised that he can’t find that.

I’m glad you’re doing well, Bonelady! That’s great to hear. Good for you 🙂

The dogs thing makes sense that way too. Dogs take up valuable affection that might otherwise be directed at him. These people have no empathy. Blegh.

The “two years older” bit is actually pretty reasonable in context. If you read the thread, it’s not some guy saying “never date someone older than you are.” It’s a 24-year old man currently dating a woman but worried whether they’ll work out long term. Among the “cons,” he lists “she’s 26 and likely to want kids and marriage before I do.”

One shouldn’t assume that any random 26 year old woman must be desperate to have the babies. But since he actually has been dating this woman seriously I’m assuming they’ve discussed this and he knows that she specifically does want to have children in the near future.

I’m pretty sure this list discounts every woman over the age of 18 on planet Earth – and that’s not even accounting for their usual “Supermodel or better” attractiveness requirements, which’d leave the entire Subreddit with negative numbers of women to split amongst themselves.

This is a good thing. *thumbs up*

I’m honestly baffled by the fridge carrots thing. Does it mean to them that she eats healthy and might expect him to do it too? What’s wrong with that? Apart from the fact that carrot sticks are seen as a “girl thing” (which is a feature of night terrors for these guys), how will she remain the Red Pill Required Weight of 100 pounds or less if she doesn’t eat healthy?

Even if several items on this list didn’t disqualify me from accidentally dating a red-piller (does broccoli count? I have more of that in my fridge than carrots) – overweight, over 50, and over 9th grade education (I didn’t study law; will science do as a disqualifier) – I can’t imagine that I would find any of these whiny juveniles to be even a fraction, a millionth, as attractive as my loving librarian husband who willingly dusts and does the dishes, because he feels the house is for both of us. And on top of that, while my husband doesn’t like vegetables himself, he is not on a vendetta against them and has no grumbles unless my carrot sticks should accidentally fall into his peanut butter.

They may call him a beta-male all they wish; both of us just laugh and dismiss their disdain as envy because we realize that a long-term relationship is about much more than just hot sex.

She had sex with a number of football players during her freshman year in college, which you discovered by going through her old Facebook posts without her permission, and also the football players were black dudes

If I’ve never had sex with a football-playing black dude but have had sex with a soccer-playing black woman, do I get half a misandry point or double misandry points?

(Apologies for the TMI, but thinking about this made me laugh.)

I fail to see how [snip] serves as a red flag; or the weight of her mother for that matter.

Not a demographer or biologist, but I believe this one is rational. Horrible, but rational. Weight gain in adulthood appears to be a matter of biology as much as habit, and while recent research suggest that it’s not all genetic biology — intestinal flora seem to be important — as far as I know genes are important. If you are terrified that your partner might gain weight, checking her parents’ weight would actually help predict how likely that is.

When I say “WTF” in response to this one, I’m genuinely puzzled. I’ve known air stewards, they’re genuinely the most overworked and stressed people in the entire world, and their work gives them messed-up sleep patterns too. Are the red pill deciding to be courteous by declaring them off-limits, or what?

It’s a stereotype that airline crews in general hook up a lot because they’re often stranded in unfamiliar cities at odd hours and thus have nothing better to do with their time. Flight attendants in particular are thought to be promiscuous because they work with pilots, who are well known to sex gods, and because only sluts would take jobs where they have wear uniforms and be nice to strangers.

I don’t think most gay men particularly care how, where or with whom their female cohorts are having casual sex.

That’s actually what the poster says. He throws in the “you go, girl” comment as a joke/exaggeration but he says explicitly that he’s afraid gay men won’t judge and shaman a woman’s behavior. Actually, he says gay men won’t care if a woman cheats on her boyfriend. I’m pretty sure he’s mistaken about that. [quote] I wound up with sexuality as one of my Asperger’s-related areas of interest. (That can happen, right? I can’t be the only Asperger’s-person that’s happened to.)[/quote]You’re not.

double misandry! lesbian miscegenation! not making white babies for entitled ubermensch! independent thought! So terrible!

“I’m also hoping to get on antidepressants.”

Admitely, I hope you won’t need them. And if you do, that it will be for as few time as possible.

(I do have a very bad experience with antidepressant and sleep pills)

I suppose if I had to guess the rationale behind the carrot thing, it’s probably because if she had lots of carrot sticks in her fridge, that means she probably only buys healthy foods which means she won’t be keeping tasty junk food in stock for his enjoyment. So again, it just comes down to entitlement.

“SHE SHOULD PROVIDE ME WITH SNACKS WHEN I’M OVER AT HER PLACE GLARING AT HER DOG!”

Honestly, what an entitled pissbaby.

This list makes me want to buy carrots, get a dog, go to law school, and add a few more gay friends to my circle.

1) She uses birth control

This is a problem WHY? Aren’t these guys always afraid of being spermjacked/spermburgled/forced to raise someone else’s kid unawares? Dudes, she’s just being prepared. Like they teach you in Scouts, y’know?

2) She has a “squeaky 5 year old voice”

Which might be a problem if she’s actually five years old, because at that age, they never stop talking. But again: Aren’t these guys all about Teh Youth, and all its youthful manifestations? Don’t they like girls with high-pitched voices? If she had a Diamanda Galás contralto, she’d scare the piss out of them! (Which might not be such a bad thing either, except maybe for her shoes.)

3) She went to law school

Yes, heaven forfend that she should be well educated. Especially in point of law. Or that she should make more money than you, and possibly also while helping battered women divorce their abusive husbands. Or sue them for child support. Your penis shall never rise again!

4) She has “many bins of chopped carrots in fridge”

Oh noes, healthy snacks! Or stuff ready for stir-frying! Which is also healthy! Health-conscious women are Teh Debil!!!

Srsly, though: Don’t these guys WANT health-conscious women who eat a lot of raw veggies and stay slim? What is their problem with all this?

5) She doesn’t wear dresses “without being commanded to”

Oh noes, practicality and comfort, every man’s worst nightmares! And what’s this “commanded” shit? You don’t give her orders, bucko. She’s not a fucking dog.

6) She owns a dog

7) She owns a horse

The dog because it could bite you (on her command), and the horse because it could kick you (ditto)? Or are you afraid she secretly has sex with them?

Any guy who’d reject a woman on these grounds probably deserves to be bitten and kicked.

8) She’s named Tiffany

Literally what? Just because her parents named her after their favorite make of stained-glass lamp? Picky, picky.

9) Her mom is fat

Are you also planning on schtupping her mom? Why is this even important to you?

10) She’s two years older than you

Oh dears. My sister is five years older than her husband. My brother is also a couple of years younger than his wife. And I myself have dated more younger men than older ones, and frankly prefer them younger; more respectful, less controlling, and also CUTER. If this is what it takes to scare off a Red Pillock, I’m cool with it.

11) She “wants to wear [a] slutty bikini to music festival”

Yes, heaven forfend that she should dress comfortably for the sticky summer weather! Only sluts do that!

12) She had sex with more dudes before you than she told you she did, which you discovered by going through old messages on her phone without her permission

Snooping is a good way to get yourself kicked to the curb as an untrustworthy, controlling jackass, dude. And what if, like me, she doesn’t have a cellphone? Whatever will you do to spy on her then?

13) She had sex with a number of football players during her freshman year in college, which you discovered by going through her old Facebook posts without her permission, and also the football players were black dudes

Does this ever actually happen? Or is this just another of their humiliation fantasies, cleverly coded?

14) She has gay friends, because they’ll tell her “you go girl” if she has sex with a cute guy in a bathroom

Again: Does this ever actually happen? Because I have lots of LGBT friends, and I don’t have sex in bathrooms. Nor do I brag about my exploits, nor do they high-five me for them. We’re all adults and boring as fuck, dude.

15) She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse

Because then she’s not a virgin, and worse yet, Daddy got there first, amirite? And of course, DAMAGED GOODS.

(This is in direct conflict with the OTHER Red Pillocks, who think sex-abuse survivors are good to hit on because no boundaries and other sickening shit like that.)

16) She’s “more social than you. Because sluts and whores crave attention above all, they tend to be heavily involved in social events, parties, get togethers and just overall more outgoing than you.”

Oh noes, social competition! And other men as a yardstick to measure you against! However will Precious Snowflake cope?

17) She previously worked at a flight attendant

Because handing out packets of salted nuts and bottled water at 30,000 feet is sooooo slutty. And so is cleaning up all the well-used barf bags and scrubbing all the toilets after a particularly turbulent trip.

18) She “frequently [goes] to the hospital and has family with a history of health issues”

Because eugenics. And because these guys are obviously such prime physical specimens themselves, eh?

On the carrots thing, I have a theory: it could be bunnies!

If she has bunnies, and chops carrots for them, she definitely won’t be paying you enough attention!

unless my carrot sticks should accidentally fall into his peanut butter.

“Accidentally,” huh? Pull the other one, it’s got bells on.

Why is this in quotes? I mean, the meaning is pretty obvious (she’s a whoooore) but quotes? why?

It was not in quotes in the red pill original. David has put in quotes because he is quoting it.

@ Lady_Zombie

Oooh! Oooh! Or maybe he’s upset because when she makes him stir-fry, she buys pre-cut carrots and therefore he can’t judge her knifework, plus she’s a LAZY cook for buying pre-cut carrots.

That reminds me … it’s been a while since I made lettuce wraps. It may be time for that again.

I like how the defining characteristic of a slut is “wanting attention,” but it’s totally acceptable for a RP dood to get jealous of the attention showered on his girlfriend’s dog.

These kids are always so obsessed with the thought that every attractive woman is somehow a size queen looking for the so-called “Chaf Thundercock”. Thing is, several studies have confirmed that the average vaginal length is 9.6cm with a range from about 6.5cm to about 12.4cm. That’s in the 4-6 inch range.

Yes, there are probably some women who enjoy having their cervix bludgeoned by the head of a penis, but when you actually read stories from guys with these fetishistically-long penises, you realize they can’t ever get the whole thing in a woman and that they often hurt their partners if they aren’t careful.

Ass such, I don’t understand the insecurity of these cats. Sex is fairly hard to mess up: locate nerve bundles in genitalia, stimulate, repeat. Keep at it in a manner your partners is keen on and you’ll be keeping the Kleenex brand in business in no time flat!

Bonelady, glad you’re doing well.

Some answers to other puzzling things — maybe some of these needed more context?

The quotes aren’t scare quotes, they’re just quotes from red pillers.

The hospital thing isn’t because of fear of hospitals, it’s because oh no she might have health issues and that would get in the way of sex and sandwich making.

The carrot thing is because the guy who posted it (abdada) thinks that indicates bulemia.

The flight attendant thing is because the dude posting it thinks that she would have met a lot of alpha dudes and had a lot of sex with them, sort of a throwback to the “sexy stew” stereotype in the 60s and 70s.

Bina:

The dog because it could bite you (on her command), and the horse because it could kick you (ditto)?

Well, dogs can get jealous, and of course tend to be protective, so I suppose there could be a risk there, even without her telling the dog to attack you. If you mistreat her, the dog will pick up on this. But, horses? They’re generally not kept around the house, and pretty easy to avoid. If you go to her apartment, and there she is, just hanging out on the couch with her horse, sure, that’s a red flag.

Bina, you had me at Diamanda Galas. Come, let us ride into the sunset together to the tune of Littanies of Satan. <3 hehe

I think the carrot sticks may be a variant of the idea of ‘cool girl’ in ‘gone girl’: she has to be a size 2 but still eat burgers and fries and drink beer. Carrot sticks in the fridge is a well-known dieting advice for hunger pangs. Better to eat ice cream or chocolate bars because if she can do that and stay thin she’s less likely to ever get fat. It’s like all those nasty wimmin who want someone ripped but don’t like them staring in the mirror constantly or at the gym all the time. Effortless perfection. It’s not good enough to work at looking good, it’s got to be natural and something she doesn’t think about.

@ moggie

just hanging out on the couch with her horse, sure, that’s a red flag.

But if the horse isn’t on the couch and just stood behind, that’s ok yeah? (Otherwise I might have to rethink a hand-binding)

#4 might make sense. I think the key is that there are many bins of chopped carrots in the fridge. One or even two plastic tupperware containers of pre-chopped carrot slices for snacking is understandable. But it’s a bit of a red flag if the refrigerator filled to bursting with bin after bin after bin of carrots, with two lonely bottles of carrot juice crammed into the back somewhere. I don’t know if I’d end an otherwise-good relationship over just that, but I’d try to encourage my partner to maybe eat some celery every once in a while.

But, horses? They’re generally not kept around the house, and pretty easy to avoid. If you go to her apartment, and there she is, just hanging out on the couch with her horse, sure, that’s a red flag.

http://i.imgur.com/72yJtuw.jpg

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