This is the horrifying image that faces you if you take a look at “Paul’s Corner” on A Voice for Men today.
There’s a bit of backstory here. Elam, you see, recently spent an hour chatting with PUA-sleazebucket-turned-wannabe-patriarch Roosh Valizadeh on YouTube, and during this chat Mr. Valizadeh noted that Mr. Elam wasn’t offering a lot of advice to young men on how to score with the ladies.
If Elam were in fact the real “men’s human rights activist” he likes to pretend he is, he would have simply said, that’s not really my job, you never saw, say, Martin Luther King giving speeches on how to charm the ladies into having the sex.
But apparently Mr Elam was so taken aback by the merest suggestion that he doesn’t know how to charm the ladies into having the sex that he decided he needed to make a whole new set of videos on how to charm the ladies into having the sex, of which the video he put up today is merely the appetizer. Happy Martin Luther King day, everyone!
This isn’t the first time Elam has done something like this. After facing criticism for running a giant two-part fawning interview with Roosh on AVFM early last year, Elam put up a post intended to remind everyone that sure as shootin he don’t need none of that newfangled PUA crap to get his dick wet because Ladies Love Cool Paul.
This was the graphic I came up with for my post on the subject. You have to admit it’s pretty good.
Ok, I’m just stalling now. I should probably stop blabbing and force myself to watch Elam’s latest the damn video. Here goes.
Well, ok, that wasn’t quite as horrendous as I was expecting. Elam’s most basic advice, while hardly original, is in itself not terribly objectionable: he points out that guys — and here he’s talking only about straight guys — who have more genuine interests in life beyond getting laid will end up being a lot more interesting to women than guys who spend their life learning the latest “negs” and so on.
But Elam can’t really do anything without being a dick about it, so he accompanied his unobjectionable platitudes with an assortment of nasty, if faintly ridiculous, little Elam-isms, delivered with a sneer.
Still smarting from Jeff Sharlet’s devastating expose of his little empire last year in GQ magazine, Elam suggests to would be Lotharios that “dressing nice doesn’t hurt but I don’t suggest looking like you’re a GQ reader either.”
He follows this up, for some weird psychological reason we cannot fully fathom, with gratuitous swipes at fat dudes.”Morbid obesity is a non-starter,” he announces.
And besides, if you’re morbidly obese you should probably be talking to a doctor before you attempt sex, possibly even with your hand. … Man-tits trying to bust through a t-shirt and a belt-line that looks like a seizmic fault circling your body gives you a Pillsbury Dough Boy look that doesn’t work.
Man-tits? Subtle, dude. I guess he’s still mad about that plagiarism thing.
Just FYI, Paul, more than 2/3 of American adults are classified as overweight or obese, with more than a third in the latter category. Roughly 6 percent of American adults are classified as morbidly obese. And guess what, Paul? These people have sex all the fucking time (and some are quite good at it).
Elam goes on to accuse the PUAs of trying to feign indifference towards women in order to lend themselves the air of aloof mystery that women are said to adore. Elam’s indifference towards women, he assures us, is real. (Yeah, that’s why he spends so much of his life yelling about women online.)
“Making pussy the sole focus of your existence is the ultimate drain to personal power,” Elam explains earnestly, sounding a little bit like General Jack T. Ripper worrying about his precious bodily fluids.
But the weirdest and most off-putting fluid-based metaphor comes a few moments later.
“Available sex is gravy,” he announces.
Not the meat. Get your head around that, motherfuckers. YOU are the meat. Treat yourself like it, and so will others.
I’m not even going to try to make sense of that, because I’m pretty sure that if I spend even one more second of my life contemplating the fact that Paul Elam apparently sees himself as some sort of tasty sex steak, I will have to take up vegetarianism and everyone knows how inconvenient that is.
Happy Martin Luther King day, everyone!