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Your girlfriend may be a secret uggo using makeup to deceive you, Red Pill dudes warn

Some women use makeup to try to disguise the fact that they are zombies
Some women use makeup to try to disguise the fact that they are zombies

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Bad news, guys! Over on the Red Pill subreddit, the regulars have uncovered a massive conspiracy to dupe men into relationships with women who are not the 8/10 would-bang hotties that they seem! This conspiracy is known as “makeup” — and you may already be a victim!

Earlier today, a Red Pill Redditor calling himself constructiveasshole dropped a massive truth bomb on his Red Pill colleagues. It turns out that that pretty gal you have your eye on — or that you might even be dating! —  is actually … not so pretty. Because women are FAKE.

Constructiveasshole, drawing on his own sad story, revealed some of the dirty tricks that women use to lure men to their doom:

My 24yo ex-girlfriend was an actress and I learned a shitton about how fake women are by dating her.

We lived together for a year in Los Angeles and I watched her get ready for auditions and wow. Like, this girl was a 5 at best without any makeup on. But when she got all dolled up for an audition I watched her apply pounds of thick foundation, false eyelashes, blonde hair extensions, blue contacts (seriously, some incredibly convincing blue contacts she ordered monthly from Italy), a padded bra (she was barely a B without it), extreme shapewear with butt pad inserts (!), and tons of other shit.

Butt pads! Will these evil harpies stop at nothing?

She also confessed to getting a nose job for her 18th birthday. Her new nose is cute. Her old nose was huge, like a witch. She got a tiny bit of botox in her lips and face, though this was harder to spot.

THE NOSE IS A LIE.

It didn’t look unnatural. Everything she did was extreme but it was subtle, wearing jeans and a t-shirt she looked like a casual hot girl. But she never got all dolled up for me unless we went out in public. Her hotness, and the 8/10 I assigned her when we met, was a lie.

TRULY WE ARE LIVING IN THE MATRIX.

But constructiveasshole’s ex is not the only devious 5/10 would-not-bang not-hottie using extreme-yet-subtle trickery to dupe men into assigning them several more hotness points than they objectively deserve.

Living in LA I’ve learned that beauty is in the bones. If a girl is truly beautiful she will look good with her makeup off. I think we should quit basing girls’ SMV on the caked-on lies they post on Instagram/Tinder, and instead rate them on the awkward candids buried in their Facebooks. I stared at this 5/10 every night and could barely fuck her by the end. Her bones were average and she’s boring.

So, fellas, remember to check the bones before popping a boner. Because you don’t want to end up bonerless in bed with an average batch of bones.

Learn to look past their makeup. Especially if you want to have kids with her! They might inherit her real eye color and real body size and real complexion and real nose/lips/wrinkles. I can spot plastic surgery a mile away now and it’s an instant nope. If she’s 25 and has had lots of work done, she’s a CC-rider trying to disguise her premature aging. No thanks.

Other Red Pillers stepped up to confirm that this evil conspiracy is as real as the totally objective 1-10 scale you can use to rate all women.

Captainpixysticks warned that the conspiracy is a vast one:

captainpixystick 40 points 9 hours ago   I'd say most women are ugly. Make up is the only reason why they look as attractive as they do. Women are very insecure because they know this. They know that 3 minutes with a wet towel would take them from an 8 to a 4.      permalink     embed     save     report     give gold  [–]George_l_rockwell 16 points 7 hours ago   Yeah, I live at a university, and women here look like completely different people when their makeup isn't on here. No homo, but men actually fare much better without makeup over women. If women didn't wear makeup, a lot of "hot chicks" would be on the same attractive league as many betas.

epixs — also, like George_l_rockwell, not a homosexual — wondered if there was “someway” to figure out if a bitch’s seeming beauty was the result of the cosmeticspiracy.

epixs 2 points 5 hours ago   Is there anyway I can learn how to spot womens make up tricks.  no homo but I analyze guys muscles and muscle insertions since I've started lifting 4-5 years ago (selective perception).  Wish there was someway I could distinctly spot a bitch using tons of makeup even if she pulls of as natural. It pisses me of thinking some 3-4/10 disguised as a 8/10 would trick me into believing shes hot.

2akurate, homosexual status unknown, brought up a worrying complication: the difficulty in telling that a hot girl is hot when she’s not dressed like a hottie.

2akurate 14 points 8 hours ago   Same here mate, this girl would turn heads where ever she whent, but when I got her off her high heels and she put her make-up off for the night she was a regular plain ass girl. Since that relationship I'm very conscious of this female trickery.  There is one problem inherent in men though (or maybe its just me) I don't notice beautiful girls if they wear normal clothes. Sometimes as an exercise I imagine a normal looking girl with heels and the lot and I can immediatly see how she could be totally hot, but she wouldn't turn up on my radar otherwise. It's evolution I guess, everyone is adapting and we can't really blame the girls as our own behavior is forcing them to distinguish themselves from the others.

HumanSockPuppet pointed out yet another complication: sometimes women who do have good bone structure turn out to be Emma Watson.

HumanSockPuppet 4 points 7 hours ago   As far as I'm concerned, Emma Watson is one of the ugliest bitches out there.  She may have decent bones, but her soul is tainted.

Stay frosty, fellas! It’s a treacherous world out there.

EDIT: Forgot to give a H/T to ResidentBalkanBitch on r/thebluepill for alerting me to the red pill post.

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Paradoxical Intention
7 years ago

“Girls aren’t hot by this arbitrary scale I’ve put up for them! They don’t look like the photoshopped models or the anime waifus I fap to! TRICKERY!”

Yeah, because it’s not like men were the ones who put this arbitrary standard that women had to have pouty lips, sultry eyes, long hair, well-shaped asses and long legs with heels on women. Nah, it must have been entirely our fault, as per the usual lojik of “Because I (a man) said so!”

Fuck those assholes. I don’t wear makeup often, but when I do, it’s surely not for the benefit of their sad little peens.

Sarah
Sarah
7 years ago

belly hurts from laughing at the “homosexual status unknown”

Tracy
Tracy
7 years ago

Her bones were average? What does that even mean?

Paradoxical Intention
7 years ago

It’s evolution, I guess, everyone is adapting and we can’t really blame the girls as our own behavior is forcing them to distinguish themselves from the others.

Holy shit, so close, yet so fucking far.

Sarah
Sarah
7 years ago

Everything is hilarious, but I like how important it is the eyes color or whatever for choosing if you’re going to have kids with someone.

magnesium
7 years ago

Indeed, Redpill gentlemen, all of the ladies are lying to you and are secretly not hot enough for your superb greatness. Your best bet is to all go live in a cave free from these ugly trickster females and never bother them again.

Judas Peckerwood
Judas Peckerwood
7 years ago

This homo is totally relieved by those “no homo”s.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Perhaps men look better in his eyes without makeup because they aren’t expected to wear it an most of them don’t. They’re just used to seeing women with made up faces.

I love how the first guy still lived with his ugly horrible girlfriend for a year. How much do you want to bet she was the one paying most of the bills and she was the one who dumped him?

Robert
Robert
7 years ago

I wonder if this is related to the way in which men like this react to discovering that women urinate and defecate? The outrage and betrayal felt when their bizarre delusions are contradicted by Reality seems similar.

I mean, really. Nobody has naturally blue eyelids. Harrumph.

Jason Neuman
7 years ago

“Living in LA I’ve learned that beauty is in the bones. If a girl is truly beautiful she will look good with her makeup off. I think we should quit basing girls’ SMV on the caked-on lies they post on Instagram/Tinder, and instead rate them on the awkward candids buried in their Facebooks”

Or, you know, not reduce a human being to a number?

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
7 years ago

Manosphereians also believe that long hair is a necessity for hotness. So “hot” women would be totally horrible uggos if they shaved their heads.

This clearly means that women are fooling men by not cutting their hair!

Those sinister tricksters! Will they stop at nothing?

ej
ej
7 years ago

Perhaps men look better in his eyes without makeup because they aren’t expected to wear it an most of them don’t. They’re just used to seeing women with made up faces.

So much of this. We’re so used to seeing women with makeup that no makeup selfies became a big thing. Posting a photo of yourself without makeup should not be revolutionary, unless, of course, we live in a society that values women’s looks over anything else.

Wait a second, that is where we live.

Josh Sled
7 years ago

I’ve run into https://www.reddit.com/user/George_l_Rockwell before. He is … quite the piece of work.

L
L
7 years ago

Guy #1 totally had a girlfriend. HE TOTALLY HAD A GIRLFRIEND, GUYS. He boned her, even! He’s had sex before! This is 100% true.

contrapangloss
7 years ago

Never worn makeup, so it’s reassuring to hear at least one of these clowns admit that people like me who dress casual/frumpy/baggy jeans for life are totally invisible.

Dude, I like being off your radar. It is a wonderful place, not having to deal with jerks like you!

🙂

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

Her bones were average? What does that even mean?

My ulnas are an 8. I disguise my horrible 2 clavicles with tons of makeup and padding.

M.
M.
7 years ago

… caked-on lies …

Between this and THE NOSE IS A LIE, my avatar and I are pretty much required to post here. =P

… Anyway, nerd jokes aside… I hate wearing “Normal” makeup. My skin revolts and I just feel silly. 85% of the time, I’m totally natural – not even nail polish – and the other 15%, I’m doing the full goth thing. (Their opinion on the latter would be good for a whole week’s worth of laughs, I bet.) Perhaps… It’s because I, and indeed the vast majority of women, dress up the way we want to and couldn’t give a ring-tailed lemur’s ringhole what random douchebags on the street might think? *gasp*

Paradoxical Intention
7 years ago

Robert | March 23, 2015 at 7:19 pm
I wonder if this is related to the way in which men like this react to discovering that women urinate and defecate? The outrage and betrayal felt when their bizarre delusions are contradicted by Reality seems similar.

I mean, really. Nobody has naturally blue eyelids. Harrumph.

Something that always gets me about the argument that “Makeup tricks men” is this bit.

I mean, what? Do these guys think that makeup permanently alters my face? When I wear a teeny bit of makeup, suddenly it’s “Oh, see? You look so pretty without makeup!”, if I wear none at all it’s “Uh…are you sick? You don’t look so good.” If I wear a lot, it’s “Trickster! Whore! You’re trying to fool men!” or “You don’t need makeup to look pretty!”

Are these people scared when women change clothes?

I don’t notice beautiful girls if they wear normal clothes. Sometimes as an exercise I imagine a normal looking girl with heels and the lot and I can immediately see how she could be totally hot, but she wouldn’t turn up on my radar otherwise.

Yup, apparently they are. I imagine if that “hot girl in hot clothes” took off her clothes in front of him, he’d think she was a different person and demand that the impostor produce the hot girl immediately.

It’s like they’d all have a panic attack if they knew Photoshop was a thing.

Mewens
Mewens
7 years ago

Mein Gott. Watching these guys rationalize their fetishes is _ah-mazing._

I mean, (paraphrased) “I can’t tell if a girl is hawt unless I imagine her in clothes that turn me on” is basically the intersection between “in denial” and “fetishism,” isn’t it? (And now I need intersectional dictionaries to be a thing.)

… now that I think about it, that line about imagining a woman in heels also lives in the neighborhood of “confusing human beings with inanimate objects,” which is less stifled giggling and more eye-rolling and head-shaking.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
7 years ago

Her bones were average and she’s boring.

If she’s 25 and has had lots of work done, she’s a CC-rider trying to disguise her premature aging. No thanks.

I have a special place in my little dented-can heart for MRA physiognomy. It’s like reading a period social science book from Victorian England, only stupider and profane. Please, learned sir, tell us more about the depravities of the female condition revealed from the ravages upon the complexion! Beneath the lead paint and French rouge lies a choleric countenance ravaged with debauchery and lost character. Even if the female voluptuary seems pleasing to the eye, beware! For surely those ruddy cheeks and wide, sparkling eyes are from too many nights at the dance-hall, where they indulge in penny gin and freely dance the polka with strange men. Take note, gentleman, and stay away from these terrible wretches, so that they should be exiled to the edges of society, alone with their feline familiars and soul-decaying novels.

Paradoxical Intention
7 years ago

Flying Mouse | March 23, 2015 at 7:46 pm
Take note, gentleman, and stay away from these terrible wretches, so that they should be exiled to the edges of society, alone with their feline familiars and soul-decaying novels.

That sounds like the life I want to lead, but I like to be at the heart of a large city. It’s the best place to be isolated with so many people around. Just me, the cat, my witchcraft, and my books.

Speaking of novels though, I need to go finish a few. And finish watching this anime I started, and finish that design project I gave myself, and that art I wanted to finish, and that series of videos on YouTube I’ve been meaning to watch, and…I have too much to do for someone who likes to not do anything.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
7 years ago

http://rs2img.memecdn.com/buy-the-amp-quot-nice-guys-trilby-fedora-amp-quot-and-you-amp-039-re-just-a-friendzone-away-of-finishing-last_o_3005605.jpg
But the feeeemales are the ones who are shallow amirite!? /s

We feeeeemales don’t have faces so we use makeup! No but seriously screw you We’re not put here to please you, we are not “insecure” We do what we want and if you’re too stupid to know that I wasn’t born with brown (or whatever color that I have going on) on my eye lids then you deserve to be “lied” to.

Screw you (insert any insult here) Emma Watson is sexy!

Worried by “fake girls” we are worried by nice guys being “fakes” that might end up abusing, raping or killing us.

ſoǝ Klǝɯɯǝɹ (@JoeKlemmer)

FWLI…. While there are certain physical traits I personally attractive, the only make-or-break one is breathing. I refuse to date gals who aren’t breathing.

This might change during the Zombie Apocalypse, though.

M.
M.
7 years ago

@fruitloopsie

I’m guessing the text on that picture says “Hay girls” because Captain Fedora there spends most of his time arguing with straw feminists.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
7 years ago

M.
I have a fedora hat collection its a shame that the “fedorable hat” has been shamed in the name of these “nice guys” 🙁

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