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Why pickup guru Roosh V resents women for “forcing” him to clip his fingernails and wipe his butt

Found on the #Meninist hashtag on Twitter
Found on the #Meninist hashtag on Twitter

The so-called pickup artists who inhabit a large portion of this thing called the manosphere are a strange bunch:  They devote much of their life to figuring out ways to appeal to women they don’t like or respect.

Apparently, for most of those who actually are out there “picking up” women and not just boasting about imaginary conquests on the internet, the sex is good enough (for them at least) to make their otherwise joyless endeavor worthwhile for them. And if the sex itself isn’t that great, well, at least they get to brag to their internet friends about how they conned some hot “slut” into having sex with them.

But what happens when the sex begins to lose its luster?

Well, we get what seems to be happening with pickup guru Roosh Valizadeh, who over the course of the last few months has been chronicling what amounts to an existential meltdown in a series of embittered posts on his blog. Roosh may not be self-aware enough to realize that’s what he’s been doing, but it’s pretty clear from the outside that he’s beginning to sense the fundamental hollowness of a life devoted to pursuing women he hates.

In these posts, Roosh spells out in detail just how resentful he feels to have to make even a small amount of effort to convince women to come home with him. In one post I wrote about earlier, he laments that his pursuit of women has turned him into a “clown” performing for the women he wants to fuck.

We are not men in the traditional sense—we are clowns. With our tight game we have to be entertainers who create drama and excitement in a girl’s life, just long enough so that she spreads her legs and makes sexy noises, and even though she did commit such an intimate act with us, she will soon lose interest or simply get bored, and then move on to the next shiny cock that catches her eye.

Huh. She’s using you, just as you’re using her? Poor baby.

In other posts, he seems almost ready to give up the lifestyle he makes a living promoting. In one, he complains about “expending labor and much more money to lay” a young women who looked a lot like one he had previously dated. Or, as he so charmingly describes her, like “an inferior version of a girl I had let go.” He complains that all of his options look bleak:

Unless I’m looking at an easy one-night stand opportunity, it’s illogical for me based on my experience to go on a date with a girl for any other reason than to enter some type of relationship with her, something that I don’t necessarily want. Otherwise it’s a waste of time that provides me with nothing more than entertainment. Even a one-night stand has lost its luster since the quality will be modest at best and condom use will be usually required, decreasing the overall sexual pleasure. It’s clear to me now that I don’t want what I used to want (as much), but at the same time I don’t care for something deeper. I’m afraid I may have already extracted the most satisfying rewards women could provide me in life, and that this particular oil well in running dry.

Emphasis mine.

In another, he wonders if, to paraphrase the old song, this is all there is:

Mini-relationships and harem maintenance are nothing more than entertainment and serious relationships are drudgery, one step away from slavery. Both are unsatisfactory.

So what’s the answer? Is it eternal bachelorhood, of banging a handful of new girls each season, hopping from one new mini-relationship to the next, but achieving no depth or novelty in what you haven’t achieved before, or is it making what could be the biggest mistake of your life by knocking a girl up and riding the fatherhood roller coaster for the next 20 years? … Or maybe the answer is that the happiness I have sought in women can’t be achieved at all, and whether I ride the slut carousel or settle down with one girl, I’ll still end up asking myself, “Is this it?”

Roosh bangs on some chicken. At least his beard is trimmed.
Roosh bangs on some chicken. At least his beard is trimmed.

Again, emphasis mine.

It’s a good question, and one I’m sure a lot of these women you “bang” ask themselves after you roll off them and go to sleep. Or possibly even during the sex itself.

But the strangest of Roosh’s many laments comes in a post titled “Men Must Groom More Than Cats To Get Laid,” in which he complains, in all seriousness, about having to clean the shit off his own ass.

The thesis of this odd little post of his is that these days straight men, in order to appeal to women, “have to groom more than women of 30 years ago,” a sad state of affairs that he fears “must make us the most feminized men to have ever existed.”

To make his case, he presents a long list of “the acts of grooming I’ve done at least once in the past week.”

You may notice that, despite the length of the list, most of the items on it aren’t exactly onerous tasks; indeed, many are pretty much the minimum required to function in a civilized society. I’ve bolded a few of them that caught my eye.

  • Floss my teeth
  • Brush my teeth
  • Scrape my tongue
  • Gargle with mouthwash
  • Pluck extra long and curly eyebrow hair that began to obstruct my vision
  • Trim my beard
  • Shave my neck
  • Trim ear hair
  • Trim nose hair
  • Apply baking soda to arm pits
  • Apply and remove contact lenses
  • Wipe my ass thoroughly
  • Shower
  • Stroke my balls with my hand and then smell it to ensure lack of odor
  • Apply benzoyl peroxide to a pimple
  • Apply lip moisturizer
  • Apply face moisturizer
  • Remove boogers and other debris form my nose
  • Comb my hair
  • Trim my sideburns
  • Wash clothes
  • Wash penis in bathroom sink after sex
  • Trim my fingernails
  • Trim armpit air
  • Squeeze out blackheads on nose
  • Remove residual sock fiber from underneath toe nails
  • Remove ear wax using cotton swabs
  • Remove eye gunk after waking up
  • Dab off extra grease on forehead with napkin

That’s right. Roosh is literally complaining about having to pick boogers out of his nose and wipe his own ass “thoroughly” enough to keep skidmarks off his underoos. He thinks women are oppressing him by forcing him to clip his fingernails and brush his teeth.

A common belief in the manopshere is that women want masculine, alpha men, but what they really want is sexy clowns who are well-groomed. If you have bad breath, bad skin, or odorific armpits, you’re not getting far with women no matter how good your game is. The modern man has to essentially groom like women in order to attract them, because I highly doubt that tribesmen of ancient times cared if their breath smelled or not.

Your life has taken a wrong turn somewhere when you resent women for wanting you to smell better than a caveman.

H/T to @keithcalder for the graphic at the top of the post.

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Chris M
Chris M
2 years ago

How does someone complain about personal hygiene? Maybe Roosh should take some hints from the Viking age Norse:

“It is reported in the chronicle attributed to John of Wallingford that the Danes, thanks to their habit of combing their hair every day, of bathing every Saturday and regularly changing their clothes, were able to undermine the virtue of married women and even seduce the daughters of nobles to be their mistresses”

Danish Girl
Danish Girl
1 year ago

This is not even a fraction of what women are already doing. If a women didn’t do these things, guys would be running away screaming. Guys don’t need to do these things nearly as thoroughly, whereas women are expected to be perfect at all times. If you are looking for a woman who takes care of herself, you might want to do a bare minimum yourself. This guy is hilarious though! XD

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